Laura, in case you are still up I am posting some funnies for you to read (everything about the hospital is boring! )
Afterbirth: When the real hard part begins.
Contractions Evil cramps that signal you to brace yourself for a marathon.
Cravings: An excuse to eat everything you want.
Dilation: Some weird thing that happens to your body that everyone tells you is normal and natural, but doesnt sound normal. Nor will the word ever be used again.
Due Date: Christmas times a million
Episiotomy: Something a man invented
First Trimester: The first three months of pregnancy when you wonder . . . "Is it too late to change my mind."
Hormones: Serum in your body that makes you do insane things.
Kegel Exercises: Who knew there was an exercise for this area until child birth? Invented by a man, but actually helpful.
lol
Labor: 25K marathon that ends with you completing the finish line as the big winner . . . "
MOMMY."
Maternity Clothes: What a pregnant women wears to show that everyone should move out of her way, get her food fast, and let her go first at everything she wants.
Miracle: the birth of a baby, and the fact you lived to tell about it.
Obstetrician: The person who tells you everything is fine when you feel like you're caught in the jaws of death.
Pregnancy: The time in your life that you discover women are stronger than men.
Prenatal: When your life was still your own.
Second Trimester: The time of pregnancy you wonder why your husband is taking so long at the store just to get pickles, ice cream, and chips.
Third Trimester: The finale of pregnancy when you wonder, "How much longer can I hold out before I start waddling."
OMG!
Womb: The bubble you encase your baby to grow in while you train your husband how to be a father. Also . . . your babys soccer field.