Losing my mind

[aknqtpie]

Damn holidays..

I started AF today.. at least I am going to assume it is AF since it has been 2 weeks since D&C, and I haven't bled since CD3.

 

[Conceive81]

I'm sorry everyone seems to be having a hard time. I am thinking of everyone and hoping we have a better month next month.

Love, sorry about your bfn, and the fact that you had to see yet another bfn. I know that hurts.

aknqtpie, happy to hear af showed up and that you are back on track.

 

[Conceive81]

Bummer. I can feel how sad everyone is tonight. Let me know that you all are ok.

This may sound silly but I am afraid of the trigger shot because it says it should be administered intramuscular...I HATE that. I've read many have done it subq. The brand is pregnyl...

Second day of injectibles today. So far so good, just a little bloated.
Someone start chatting soon, I miss the ramblings

 

[Conceive81]

Apparently the office is closed. I've been calling every 10 minutes for the past 2 hours. I fucking hate ppl.

On a happier note, going to the fun range with hubby.

What is the fun range? Good luck for tomorrow hon. Hope you get some direction.

I work in the field of people and lately I'm hating them too which makes me feel guilty and jaded, I hear you. This whole experience has made me feel inadequate and cynical, u know?

 

[Conceive81]

Damn holidays..

I started AF today.. at least I am going to assume it is AF since it has been 2 weeks since D&C, and I haven't bled since CD3.

My d&c was eons ago but I do remember it being a few weeks after. If the flow is decent for more than a day I would think it is. Can you go in for an ultrasound?

 

[s_love]

Sorry I meant gun range not fun range... although it was fun and stress releiving. We actually bought another handgun. A Beretta PX4 Storm. Dont know how you ladies feel about guns but Ive grown up with them my entire life. My dad is a cop, been on the force 32 years.

So still no AF today.. no cramps or any signs shes coming either. I fucking hate my body. Called my doctors office again today, left 3 messages and the nurse at the front desk pretty much told me shes already passed my message on and I need to stop calling.

Hubby went to the urologist today and the doctor thinks its Varicoceles so he sent him to get an ultrasound... oh but the fucking Naval hospital sucks dick and they cant give him an ultrasound for another fucking week... so hooray we get to continue to drag this out and push it back and wait and wait wait. If it is Varicoceles then he gets surgery to correct it, if not they will discuss options and he will be placed in a group study about how being a fucking pack a day smoker hurts fertiltiy. Ya know, if its the smoking thing I am going to be so pissed. I asked him to cut back, doctors have asked him to cut back, but hes fucking selfish and wont. Ive made so many changes to my lifestyle and diet and he cant do 1 thing?

Seriously, Im l l <-- this close to being done with this whole process. Nothing is ever easy and quick. Ive run out of patience and "give a fuck". I deleted 19 ppl from my facebook this morning. All expecting, just had kids or always post pics of their kids with dumb fucking captions.

And now my husband is mad at me because Im frustrated and started crying. Great day.

 

[Conceive81]

Sorry I meant gun range not fun range... although it was fun and stress releiving. We actually bought another handgun. A Beretta PX4 Storm. Dont know how you ladies feel about guns but Ive grown up with them my entire life. My dad is a cop, been on the force 32 years.

So still no AF today.. no cramps or any signs shes coming either. I fucking hate my body. Called my doctors office again today, left 3 messages and the nurse at the front desk pretty much told me shes already passed my message on and I need to stop calling.

Hubby went to the urologist today and the doctor thinks its Varicoceles so he sent him to get an ultrasound... oh but the fucking Naval hospital sucks dick and they cant give him an ultrasound for another fucking week... so hooray we get to continue to drag this out and push it back and wait and wait wait. If it is Varicoceles then he gets surgery to correct it, if not they will discuss options and he will be placed in a group study about how being a fucking pack a day smoker hurts fertiltiy. Ya know, if its the smoking thing I am going to be so pissed. I asked him to cut back, doctors have asked him to cut back, but hes fucking selfish and wont. Ive made so many changes to my lifestyle and diet and he cant do 1 thing?

Seriously, Im l l <-- this close to being done with this whole process. Nothing is ever easy and quick. Ive run out of patience and "give a fuck". I deleted 19 ppl from my facebook this morning. All expecting, just had kids or always post pics of their kids with dumb fucking captions.

And now my husband is mad at me because Im frustrated and started crying. Great day.

Shoot. I'm sorry to hear about all this. I find it easier to deal with stress when I compartmentalize and break them down. Here's my two cents:

So #1, your period hasn’t started yet and the dr hasn’t called you back. You need to get an appointment, can you do that? That way you can run all your questions through at once instead of going through the nurse who obviously isn’t the brightest.

#2 Hubby might have Varicoceles and ultrasound is next week. That really isn’t that bad, honestly. When I was in Canada I had to wait 5 months for an MRI and I could barely move my neck.

#3 Hubby may have caused this by smoking and lifestyle habits. Ok, being an on and off smoker in my past, it’s really hard to quit and I’m not saying what he’s doing is fair, because it’s not, but he obviously needs some help to quit. This does not mean that you can not have a baby together though, it means you are finally getting answers, and truth hurts sometimes, but as far as the wait, you’re not in bad shape in my opinion.

#4 Hubby is pissy because you are a little emotional. And so what. Dude, I went bat shit crazy on mine for being a few minutes late last week because he has been driving me crazy for all kinds of other little things in the past. We all deal differently and it sounds like you guys need to have a few more heart to hearts or maybe even some counseling, it can really help you through this. We had to go for some at one point because we did marry young and he just wasn’t getting certain things and I had had it. But you need to work at it, don’t give up honey.

I hope my two cents helped. I’ve been through a hell of a lot in the past couple years and learned a lot, am passing on what helped me out of my mess. If you guys get your answers and know what you are dealing with and decide to forget about the healthcare policy/system you’re in, you can always save up and go the cash route. Where there is a will there is a way. You are obviously bright and kind, you’ll figure it out.

 

[s_love]

Yeah when someone else breaks it down its easier to handle. There's just some other things with school and friends/family (not pregnancy related) that's stressing me out and it all came out at once.

Here is what your break downs had me thinking:
1. About the appt. every time I ask to make an appt, my doctor(s) - since I keep getting passed around!- call me and we have a phone conference and they say there's no reason for me to come in. It's aggravating. The doctor I left the message for still hasn't called but ill ask again when he does.

2. Hubby's ultrasound- I know it's only a week but with this dumb hospital it's never the same day... Even though no one was in the waiting room. It's just annoying because I know how slow they are with getting results back... Still haven't gotten a full report from HUbbys SA on the 2nd even though I've called!

3. Hubby hasn't tried to quit. He flat out told me "I like smoking and I don't want t quit, so I'm not going to" he's selfish in this aspect. I didn't even ask him to quit, just to cut back and he won't! I know it doesn't rule us out for having a baby, I'm just more upset he's not willing to make changes.

4. We talk wonderfully about everything else in our lives and when we generally talk about having a baby (like when we have kids this or that) but when it comes to me being upset about our situation he loses his cool immediately. He told me because I'm annoying when it comes to this. It's all I talk about and he knows what situation we are in and he doesn't need to be constantly reminded of it.

You're breakdown defiantly calmed me down. I think I'm just so down and sad this past week that everything feels like the final straw. But you did help me take a step back from it and examine it. Thank you

 

[Conceive81]

Yeah when someone else breaks it down its easier to handle. There's just some other things with school and friends/family (not pregnancy related) that's stressing me out and it all came out at once.

Here is what your break downs had me thinking:
1. About the appt. every time I ask to make an appt, my doctor(s) - since I keep getting passed around!- call me and we have a phone conference and they say there's no reason for me to come in. It's aggravating. The doctor I left the message for still hasn't called but ill ask again when he does.

2. Hubby's ultrasound- I know it's only a week but with this dumb hospital it's never the same day... Even though no one was in the waiting room. It's just annoying because I know how slow they are with getting results back...
Still haven't gotten a full report from HUbbys SA on the 2nd even though I've called!

3. Hubby hasn't tried to quit. He flat out told me "I like smoking and I don't want t quit, so I'm not going to" he's selfish in this aspect. I didn't even ask him to quit, just to cut back and he won't! I know it doesn't rule us out for having a baby, I'm just more upset he's not willing to make changes.

4. We talk wonderfully about everything else in our lives and when we generally talk about having a baby (like when we have kids this or that) but when it comes to me being upset about our situation he loses his cool immediately. He told me because I'm annoying when it comes to this. It's all I talk about and he knows what situation we are in and he doesn't need to be constantly reminded of it.

You're breakdown defiantly calmed me down. I think I'm just so down and sad this past week that everything feels like the final straw. But you did help me take a step back from it and examine it. Thank you

No worries, glad I can help some. I'm so darn tired I'm already in bed. Started feeling side effects today...just bloated and sleeeeepy.

Hubby and I also communicate really well. But when we had a big issue to deal with, it broke us down for months. We got out of it with a lot of hard work.

Tell Doogie this is fucking ridiculous and unfair. The stress this is causing you is probably exacerbating ur issue!

The smoking thing boils down to compromise which marriage is all about it seems. Bottom line is he's not being supportive of the process by doing this and couple that with the regular shit women deal with and the incompetence ur having to work thru at the hospital, it's a miracle you haven't put him thru a meat grinder!

We are here for you. Hang on and have faith.

 

[aknqtpie]

Love - Our husbands must be related. Mine has gotten so snippy with me over all this stuff. When I got emotional about my cousin being pregnant, he told me I was being ridiculous. Men have no clue how we process things, and sometimes we have to have complete breakdowns. What is Varicoceles? I have never heard of it.. I am sorry about the smoking.. my DH smoked when we first dated.. he finally quit.. but then a few years ago, he picked up snusing from his friend and hid it from me. I found out when I found a receipt in his pocket. I got pretty pissed, and he finally quit it. (I know for sure because his work does tobacco screening in their health insurance assessments (he gets discounts for no tobacco products and what not).. but I can understand how frustrating it is. it will get better... Don't ask me when, because I have no idea.. still searching for a silver lining, and waiting for it to get better for me as well.

AFM - Bleeding has still stayed pretty heavy. It lightened up for a bit, but then picked back up. Feeling tired/fatigued today.. praying I don't have another UTI or infection, because I felt like this when I got my UTI earlier this year. I didn't sleep well last night, so I am going to see if I can sleep it off. If it doesn't go away, I am going to call my doctors office and see if they can get me some antibiotics.

 

[s_love]

Varicocele is abnormally displayed scrotal veins. Apparently it causes high testicular temperatures and blood back up that effect the sperm production and quality. There's 2 different procedures to correct it: laparoscopy surgery and then the less invasive embolization treatment. The embolization is a few days recovery as opposed to the surgery 1-2 weeks. But my dumb ass husband wants to do the surgery so he can have time off from work and light duty for 30 days after.... I think he's being a douche for wanting to pick that one.

I hate UTIs! I've only had a couple and they were awful. I hope you get some rest and it fixes itself!

 

[s_love]

Update: my doctor finally called. we talked for about 15 minutes. He said, of course that I didn't need to come in and that we should wait until the results of hubby's ultrasound before we go any further. So he told me I could take 100mg(same dosage I've been on) on CD5-9 if I wanted to this cycle, but he doesn't think it would do much with hubby's numbers... So I asked about the IUIs my previous doctor had discussed with me and he said he saw nothing in the notes about!!! I freaking lost it. I started bawling. I told him I'd been waiting a long time to get to the IUI point, and obviously 5 rounds of Clomid haven't produced expected results. I told him I was lost because each doctor says something different. Well either he thinks I'm crazy and going to blow his office up or he truly felt sorry for me, he said he would have the IUI process started, that in a few days they would call me for my baseline and that he was calling BC out for me and for me to take it when AF shows. I get my IUI in February!! I'm so excited!

 

[Conceive81]

Update: my doctor finally called. we talked for about 15 minutes. He said, of course that I didn't need to come in and that we should wait until the results of hubby's ultrasound before we go any further. So he told me I could take 100mg(same dosage I've been on) on CD5-9 if I wanted to this cycle, but he doesn't think it would do much with hubby's numbers... So I asked about the IUIs my previous doctor had discussed with me and he said he saw nothing in the notes about!!! I freaking lost it. I started bawling. I told him I'd been waiting a long time to get to the IUI point, and obviously 5 rounds of Clomid haven't produced expected results. I told him I was lost because each doctor says something different. Well either he thinks I'm crazy and going to blow his office up or he truly felt sorry for me, he said he would have the IUI process started, that in a few days they would call me for my baseline and that he was calling BC out for me and for me to take it when AF shows. I get my IUI in February!! I'm so excited![/QUOTE


Awesome. I am so happy to hear that. Good for you for letting him know what this is doing to you.

 

[aknqtpie]

Yay! Glad he called you back and that you are going to start the process of iui!

What is the recovery time as far as when you can have sex and what not? The doctor might push him to go the other route. Seems like drs give you options, but really don't..

Not sure if this is a UTI, or I'm just pmsy and tired... I don't have a fever.

 

[s_love]

The board is so quiet tonight... I'm not sure, once tey confirm he has to have surgery ill start asking all those questions. Not sure what's up with hubby, he's incredibly pissy tonight

 

[Conceive81]

Men have periods too! Lol...

I feel like ass tonight. I was sweating without moving and I swear my sweat smelled funny. Gotta love hormones.

 

[Coolstar]

Hi everyone , have been little busy last few days with blood test ,appointment n all.Well I have to do a ultrasound after 6 weeks n then the final call will be taken about laprpscopy.wow what a way to enjoy my ttc break.why can't pregnancy be little easy for us.

 

[ElleT613]

Update: my doctor finally called. we talked for about 15 minutes. He said, of course that I didn't need to come in and that we should wait until the results of hubby's ultrasound before we go any further. So he told me I could take 100mg(same dosage I've been on) on CD5-9 if I wanted to this cycle, but he doesn't think it would do much with hubby's numbers... So I asked about the IUIs my previous doctor had discussed with me and he said he saw nothing in the notes about!!! I freaking lost it. I started bawling. I told him I'd been waiting a long time to get to the IUI point, and obviously 5 rounds of Clomid haven't produced expected results. I told him I was lost because each doctor says something different. Well either he thinks I'm crazy and going to blow his office up or he truly felt sorry for me, he said he would have the IUI process started, that in a few days they would call me for my baseline and that he was calling BC out for me and for me to take it when AF shows. I get my IUI in February!! I'm so excited!

Well--- I am so happy to hear they are getting the IUI started up for you!! That is such a great step! Haha, see a little crying on the phone with a doctor never hurts--- maybe just lights a fire under their ass

 

[ElleT613]

Conceive-- I have been trying to keep up with you Did you have your IUI?? What's the latest??

 

[s_love]

Soooo is it normal to be put on BC before starting an IUI cycle?