Losing my mind

[Chris_25]

So I'm on my lunch break at work and AF came just now! I'm sitting outside crying and don't know what to do with myself anymore I'm so depressed beyond belief and life sucks so much

Im so sorry Chris!! I know each month seeing the witch gets harder and harder to take! But you know what? Cry, scream, punch a pillow... you do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. Grab a glass of wine or a margarita tonight and pig out on chocolate. It will never get easier seeing AF but we all know you just gotta keep going until you get your BFP. We are here for you!

Sorry that i disappeared for a few days! Cat chewed through our power cable for the computer and its been dead. Finally got a new one, thank goodness. I was losing my mind with bordem.

Thank you, this is the worst feeling ever! I have that knot in my stomach like I got punched. I appreciate the support!
I want to cry really hard right now and throw something and break things, but I can't because i'm at work holding it all in. My poor hubby is in for it.
lol glad you got a new wire!

 

[c_hall2009]

I know what you mean, I have 2 kids but I want another and it drives me crazy because we been TTC now for 9 10 months now I have even done a cycle of Clomid last month and well....it did.t work. I often find my self looking at tiny baby clothes also and wanting to buy it before its not there any more. Lol. But I end up leaving empty handed. They say that having intercourse everyday won't help because the sperm need time to mature and to cut back to every day or every 2 days. I know that when my husband did a sperm count the form says "wait 3 days to take it but no longer then 5" so I assume that'that's a good amount of time to let them mature. Everyone says don't try so hard it will happed when ur ready to stop trying. But no matter how much I tell myself I'm done, I know I'm just lying to myself. Lol.

 

[sadangel777]

So sorry to hear that AF got you, Chris — *HUGS*

I agree with Love — go crazy tonight, do whatever you want! Get it all out, have a drink (or many!), go to a movie, have a bubble bath, anything to take your mind off it. CD1 is the worst; it will get better tomorrow.

Glad you are back, Love!!! My kitties also like to chew through cords so we had to get that plastic tubing and cover all of them!

c_hall, welcome to TTC! It is sometimes easy for some to conceive and much harder for others. I'm sorry you are going through this crazy journey. (P.S. this is the TTC #1 forum, so many here do not have any children — you may find more discussion if you check out the larger TTC forum). Lots of luck!

 

[Coolstar]

Chris:So sorry AF showed up Today morning i was so upset that i was crying in front of my DH and he tried his best to console me.I told him next cycle we will be taking a break and he was so excited and happy.And he was telling me it is a much needed break for both of us.
Love:Glad you are back
Angel:Have you started with Clomid?

 

[Coolstar]

" Reality is harsh. It can be cruel and ugly . Yet no matter how much we grieve over our environment and circumstances nothing will change . What is important is not to be defeated , to forge ahead bravely . if we do this , a path will open before us "............Just wanted to share with you all ladies a motivating thought !!

 

[Chris_25]

So sorry to hear that AF got you, Chris — *HUGS*

I agree with Love — go crazy tonight, do whatever you want! Get it all out, have a drink (or many!), go to a movie, have a bubble bath, anything to take your mind off it. CD1 is the worst; it will get better tomorrow.

Glad you are back, Love!!! My kitties also like to chew through cords so we had to get that plastic tubing and cover all of them!

c_hall, welcome to TTC! It is sometimes easy for some to conceive and much harder for others. I'm sorry you are going through this crazy journey. (P.S. this is the TTC #1 forum, so many here do not have any children — you may find more discussion if you check out the larger TTC forum). Lots of luck!

Thanks I went out to dinner with dh cried my whole way there my eyes hurt and gave myself a headache! I was telling him about this forum so he can know I'm not the only crazy one! I tried eating but couldn't eat much.. The crying helped though

 

[Chris_25]

Chris:So sorry AF showed up Today morning i was so upset that i was crying in front of my DH and he tried his best to console me.I told him next cycle we will be taking a break and he was so excited and happy.And he was telling me it is a much needed break for both of us.
Love:Glad you are back
Angel:Have you started with Clomid?

Aw The break will hopefully help u guys! I don't feel like temping but will use my fertility monitor again and then once october comes I'll start the drugs and iui if nothing by then

 

[Chris_25]

" Reality is harsh. It can be cruel and ugly . Yet no matter how much we grieve over our environment and circumstances nothing will change . What is important is not to be defeated , to forge ahead bravely . if we do this , a path will open before us "............Just wanted to share with you all ladies a motivating thought !!

I like that

 

[sadangel777]

Thanks for the quote, Cool! I'm sorry you are sad today, too — *HUGS* It sounds like the break will be good for both you and DH! I am on CD8 and day 4 of Clomid, one more day to go! (I am getting awful moody from it, though; I went to grocery store with DH and everything he said/did annoyed me greatly! I wanted to snap, but I held it in LOL!)

Chris, sorry you didn't enjoy your dinner, but I'm glad the crying helped — sometimes you just have to let it out. I don't blame you for taking a break from temping. I did that for a while and just used my monitor and it was less stressful not having to worry about that extra thing each day. Lots of luck this cycle — I have heard many success stories involving IUI so it is definitely something I'm considering, too!

 

[Chris_25]

Yea, I took a break from temping for about 4 months and did it the last 2 but taking a break again. Did the doctor mention for u to do iui, especially along with the clomid? Your good at leat u held ur anger in lol I let it all out and prob would run someone over with a cart lol

 

[sadangel777]

LOL!! I get road rage sometimes, and today this woman wouldn't let me over to the exit so I was yelling at her (she couldn't hear / see me)! Then I saw a preggo when I walked into the mall (I was like, "THAT's what I needed to see!")

Anyhoo, my doctor didn't suggest IUI but I am keeping it in mind because I like to pretend I'm the doctor!

I may or may not have Endo, so I'm going with dr's suggestion to stay on Clomid for 3 cycles and then do a laparoscopy (sp?) to check it out and have the scar tissue removed if it's there. Then, I guess it would be back to Clomid, but I would probably push for an IUI at that point. Can't anything be easy? haha.

 

[Chris_25]

lol my road rage is bad! I swear God help the next person that questions me as to when i'm having a baby! Nothing is easy!

Well we can pretend we are the doctors lol we know our bodies
Why, do they suspect endo?

 

[s_love]

Chris- lol yes! I feel like Im going to cut someones head off! Im flying back home to Texas at the end of next month, I just know my family is going to have something to say and a million questions and Im going to snap!

Angel- This round of Clomid is making me crazy too! The heat flashes are way worse and Im moody!!

Coolstar- I really really like that quote! I know the breaks can suck, but hopefully it will be for the best!

I finally got my "The Conception Chronicles" and Im about to start reading

 

[Chris_25]

Just tell them you decided not to have any! lol i'm going to try that route

 

[sadangel777]

I used to say things like, "I'm not having kids because I like to spend my money on mySELF!" and it usually shut them up real quick!!

Love, I hope your family doesn't annoy you too much; I know how that goes: You're glad to see them (at first) but quickly remember why you left! I'm glad you got the book; I think you'll like it a lot!

Chris, they suspect endo because I have a small uterine fibroid and very painful periods (but I've always had very painful periods, and so did my mom and she was never diagnosed with endo). I don't *think* I have it, but who knows!

Hoping the Clomid can kick start a little bean soon!

Today was day 5 of Clomid, CD9 — time for soon!!

 

[Chris_25]

Lol that's a good one I'm gonna try that! Lol
As for the endo hopefully it will be ok and u don't have it! How many days do u take the clomid?
I was doing really well today then I went to the mall tonight to spend money on myself and of course there's thousands of pregnant women and women with strollers all over I left and cried my whole way home... Let's hope for a BFP this cycle for us all!

 

[sadangel777]

Aww, Chris! You should have gone to Starbucks to get a big delicious Frappuccino and take a slow, satisfying sip whenever you saw a preggo! They seem to always be milling around the mall up here whenever I go. The nerve!

I take Clomid on CD5-9 so I took my last pill today. Gotta get ready for BDing; should OV within 5 to 10 days!

 

[Chris_25]

I was actually going to get a yummy pumpkin frapp but it was after 6pm and i would be up all night lol
Good luck on the bd ing!

 

[s_love]

Lol I love that! Take a sip Everytime you see a preggo! I'll have to remember that! Ive never had any of the fall flavors... I alwayd day im going to try the pumpkin ones and never do lol. Yeah I'm only like 2 chapters into te book but it's already entertaining me.

Chris- just keep spoiling yourself until you feel better. I used to feel guilty having my own pity party for a few days, but now I don't at all. It makes me feel good. And that's what you need to concentrate on is you!

Oh Angel I hope you and your hubby have lots of fun with your baby making!! FXed for ya!

 

[sadangel777]

Feeling quite moody today; yesterday was last day of Clomid — wondering if it's the hormones?

Just don't want to look at anyone, talk to anyone, be looked at, be talked to, etc. You know?