Losing my mind

[Chris_25]

Lol I love that! Take a sip Everytime you see a preggo! I'll have to remember that! Ive never had any of the fall flavors... I alwayd day im going to try the pumpkin ones and never do lol. Yeah I'm only like 2 chapters into te book but it's already entertaining me.

Chris- just keep spoiling yourself until you feel better. I used to feel guilty having my own pity party for a few days, but now I don't at all. It makes me feel good. And that's what you need to concentrate on is you!

Oh Angel I hope you and your hubby have lots of fun with your baby making!! FXed for ya!

Oh u have to try the the pumpkin! Lol yep spoiling yourself always helps! The book is funny I laugh when reading cause it's so true

 

[Chris_25]

Angel it's def your hormones! I know exactly how it feels to by want to be around anyone! Just keep yourself away from people because u don't want to start fights with anyone lol

 

[sadangel777]

LOL I'll try not to eat anyone's face at work tonight!

 

[s_love]

Lol good luck with that Angel!

So my husband is annoying the ever living sh#t out of me todaY! I know its the Clomid and hormones, but geez! And poor guy, its only him thats annoying me and getting my moodiness!

 

[sadangel777]

LOL that happened to me a couple nights ago; everything DH said or did was SO annoying for some reason! The way he walked, the way he talked, the way he selected vegetables for our dinner salad ... it was a no-win situation for him!

And just think, we have to get to BDing! Gosh I hope this Clomid does the trick soon ...

 

[Chris_25]

Well that's just men lol it's prob not the clomid, but the clomid adds to it hahaha we tend to take the frustration out on them. Is it nice? No, but too bad so sad lol I'm not on any meds yet and hes annoying

 

[s_love]

So it's 5:00 am here and I haven't been to bed. Sitting here crying in bed while my hubby sleeps. 2 people announced pregnancies today... 1 of them was a friend of mine who's been dating a guy for barely over 2 months. It's her first. She doesn't even want kids. Ugh, it's so unfair. Totally feeling sorry for myself. Like I'm sitting here and thinking "what if it just never happens?" I know I shouldn't. I know even couples who have no fertility issues can take months... And we just got my period and ovulation regulated (fingers crosses it stays regular) But it's still weighing on my mind. I don't want to give up, but I'm feeling like Zero hope at this point. Ugh this whole ttc journey is so frustrating and stressful. It shouldn't be this way. Like I want to be angry and yell but I know that's not going to do any good. I know being bitter wont help. But it's like being positive and doing everything under the sun to increase the chances isn't working either. Ugh damn hormones making me so emotional- I'm just tired of this roller coaster of emotions!

Today is CD8 and we are supposed to start the SMEP, which means BDing tonight... But honestly I feel no desire. I know a BFP and a healthy baby will be worth all these months of hell but that's not helping to motivate me at the moment.

Sorry ladies, I don't mean to be "Debbie Downer" (lol) over here but I just wanted to get it off my chest. I know you all have the same feelings and are going through it yourselves so I thank you for indulging me. You ladies really are the best and you keep me sane!

 

[Chris_25]

Hello sorry just seeing this now! How are u feeling? A lil better I hope! It's a roller coaster for sure, so many emotions and it's crazy! It's not fair and we question why these things happen to those who don't want it, but honestly we will never have an answer to that. I also sit here day and night torturing my mind saying what if it doesn't happen will it ever happen what am I gonna do etc... Look at me They told me I have no issues and perfectly healthy so wtf is the problem here? extremely frustrating! I know they say it takes a healthy couple up to a year so we have to keep praying and hope for the best and know this will happen for us, becausedee won't take no for an answer and we will fight this battle! Just think u finally got your period and ovulating which is great, so ur a step closer to the bfp! If u don't feel like bd inf tonight, don't! Don't push it that's my new things for this month! People get pregnant only having sex once. Go out and by yourself something

 

[sadangel777]

Im so sorry love! I wish we could all hang out together because you all are the only ones who understand this ttc mess!

You r right, its totally unfair. i saw a preggo today getting starbucks and i told dh "thats not fair! Shes not supposed to have that, its supposed to be the one thing i have up on her" and he just looked at me oddly. fing preggos in our faces all the time ... it is so upsetting.

i also feel like it will never happen. but i also thought dh would never propose (took him 5 years!) Never thought wed get married, never thought id graduate, never thought id get a career, and i got all those things. our lives could change next week, next month, and this will be behind us.

i know how u feel, but chris is right - we r going to get through this and we r going to get our bfps! No matter when it will be a happy surprise! I also think u should buy yourself something! ;-) If u see preggos, roll your eyes and think to yourself WE feel the same way -- preggos r the enemy!! And give yourself a mental hug from me because id hug u if i were there. its going to get better, promise. dont bd if u dont want to, it only takes once.

 

[Chris_25]

I wish I had u girls to hang out with! I see a preggo girl everytime I go out! Angel ur right I always said "I'll never get married" and that happened 5 years later lol and engaged 3.5 years later. Sometimes I get angry that it took so long to get engaged n married because I say "you made me wait and now I'm old" lol

 

[s_love]

Thanks ladies, I'm trying my best to be positive right now. I went out to go shopping today but of course everywhere I turned another preggo woman, fb was full of updates on peoples ultrasounds and one of my friends actually had her baby today.

And to top it all off my husband has training coming up (Marine Corps) and he will be gone 2 weeks starting next Saturday... So whoop de doo he will be gone during my fertile window. Lucky me, I'm out again this month before we even get started this time. Looks like it won't be a september BFP... On to October I guess. Although, in all honesty, it wont happen that month either. I'm beginning to think I'm not strong enough to do this as my patience is literally at the end my frustration level is beyond words.

The doctor told my husband he needed to cut back on smoking and caffeine (he drinks those damn NOS energy drinks everyday. But he doesn't just have one, he has 5 or 6). He completely disregarded what she said... I think he's actually smoking more and def not cutting back on the NOS. I told him I'm frustrated with that and that he's going to be gone and he just said "it is what it is". Beginning to think he doesn't care as much as I thought he did.

 

[sadangel777]

Love: I'm SO sorry you are having such a rough time. Seeing all of the preggos, pg announcements, ultrasounds, and also hearing about your friend's birth is making this TTC stuff so much harder for you.

Are you sure that you won't have time for at least one or two BD before he leaves that will possibly be in your fertile window?

I know what it's like to feel like you are in this alone, and that your DH doesn't care as much as you (mine said he'd be fine with never having kids, even after going through the m/c with me in 2000 -- it hurts).

I know your doctor told him to cut back on the energy drinks and smoking (I think mine avoids BD now since I'm on the Clomid) and I don't blame you for being upset with him. But he can't stop a BFP -- look at all the people who smoke and drink and still have babies! They're everywhere! My coworker told me his wife smoked the whole time she was pg (which makes me SO angry btw, since I had a m/c and did everything right). My mom is right about one thing; this is what she told me one time when I was upset: "I don't care if you only have sex ONCE a month. If you aren't using protection, you are going to get pregnant." And I don't know anyone who tried and tried to get PG and never did (I hear all kinds of stories about so-and-so who tried and tried and DID get pg) but never anyone who wasn't successful.

But if you want to take a break from actively TTC and NTNP for a while, if it will help you, then do it. A lot of people say when they stopped trying, that's when it happened. The truth is, no matter how much we obsess and plan and test, it is one of life's mysteries. But people have been having babies for eons; our bodies are built for conception! I really think it will happen for all of us.

Chris: I know what you mean about being angry and feeling old! I told DH I'm mad that he made me take pills throughout my fertile 20s -- but my doctor said he couldn't "make" me and I did have a choice; I guess she's right but I keep blaming him anyway LOL!

 

[Chris_25]

Thanks ladies, I'm trying my best to be positive right now. I went out to go shopping today but of course everywhere I turned another preggo woman, fb was full of updates on peoples ultrasounds and one of my friends actually had her baby today.

And to top it all off my husband has training coming up (Marine Corps) and he will be gone 2 weeks starting next Saturday... So whoop de doo he will be gone during my fertile window. Lucky me, I'm out again this month before we even get started this time. Looks like it won't be a september BFP... On to October I guess. Although, in all honesty, it wont happen that month either. I'm beginning to think I'm not strong enough to do this as my patience is literally at the end my frustration level is beyond words.

The doctor told my husband he needed to cut back on smoking and caffeine (he drinks those damn NOS energy drinks everyday. But he doesn't just have one, he has 5 or 6). He completely disregarded what she said... I think he's actually smoking more and def not cutting back on the NOS. I told him I'm frustrated with that and that he's going to be gone and he just said "it is what it is". Beginning to think he doesn't care as much as I thought he did.

Try not to stress about him having those energy drinks and smoking because like angel said people do crazy drugs and drink and get pregnant! Ask him nicely that it would make u feel better
If he cut down. About the stress in all this I feel that way to sometimes like I just don't know if I can keep this up! I want my life back! U think u could bd the day before he leaves and the day he leaves u might still have a chance

 

[Coolstar]

Hi Ladies was little busy last few days so was out of the loop.Today AF arrived so officially i am in my NTNP cycle.Today morning my Doc called me but i could not pick up the phone.He said that my progesterone level is low.I am suppose to call him up after some time but i am really scared to do it But anyway i will call him up after sometime after i accumulate some courage

 

[Coolstar]

Oh God I am devastated just had a talk with my Doc he said my levels were very low 2.4 Normal should be 13.He asked whether my periods have started and i said it started today and he was surprised how it has started with such a low level.
I think he is going to put me on clomid but i wanted to retest it again before taking med.I am surprised how i get good temp shift during ov when it is so low

 

[ttc2yrs]

hi there s_love try not to get yourself down bacause it will do nothing for you but get you more down, im in the same boat as you (am desperate for a baby)
i do have a job but maby try to get a part time job ? to keep your mind on something else,its very hard when you are at home ,you have too much time to think and that makes you lower !
i crochet at home and i make baby booties, and the though of one day i am going to be able to put them on a little babies feet does keep me positive and keeps my head busy beacuse im concentrating so much ! hope you feel better soon lots of baby dust to you xx

 

[sadangel777]

Aww cool im sorry u r having a bad day! Maybe it is just an off cycle -- your doc can prob put u on progesterone to fix it im sure. dont worry!

 

[Coolstar]

Angel just wanted to ask you when your Dr had put you on clomid was that because your progesterone was low?

 

[sadangel777]

They did a progesterone check at cd21 and cd23 and found out i wasnt ovulating (they didnt tell me what my numbers were), then they said i would start clomid my next cycle. then af didnt show and i thought i was pg but it was just a missed period from not ov. so i started clomid in august and confirmed ov at the end of that cycle. so if u take clomid itll prob help your progesterone levels, ie help u ov! Its a wonder drug!

 

[Chris_25]

aw cool don't stress! Think of this as a reason for all of this and know it's fixable! Try retesting again next month and see how it comes out so you know for sure.