Losing my mind

[Chris_25]

Sorry love! I know how hard that must have been.try not to lose hope.

chris, yay! Good luck with that big follicle.

rose, welcome. i am ttc after a loss, too, but from a long time ago. i know how u feel. lots of luck to u!![/

Thanks how are u doing?

 

[s_love]

I hope all you ladies had a wonderful weekend. It's 2:07 am here in Cali and I just watched The Walking Dead season 3 premiere... Of all the things to be thinking of, I thought "how is it even fair that Lori is able to get preggo during a zombie apocolypw!?" Lol I know I'm dumb... Just can't seem to get comfortable and get to sleep tonight.

 

[sadangel777]

I'm doing okay, recuperating from our weekend away! Working on an assignment for class, and later this afternoon I have my first follicle scan.

Love, if I watched that show, I'd probably be thinking the same thing! I am having trouble staying asleep at night, too -- think maybe it's the extra hormones from the Clomid? It's rough. Hopefully we won't have to deal with it for much longer!

 

[s_love]

I was thinking it might the Clomid too, I'll have to look into that. I have a lot of homework to do, good luck to you on yours!

So what all did y'all do this weekend? Give us details!

Ok this might so dumb, but do you ladies ever find yourselves gambling (for lack of a better explanation) with the pregnancy? Let me explain. We went to play bingo and I was losing many games in a row, so I finally sd "Ok this next game, if I win I'll get pregnant this month, if I don't then I won't." And swear to God above, I won the next game. Lol I find myself doing that with small things a lot lately! I think it's age to say I'm getting desperate! Lol please don't think I'm too crazy!

 

[Coolstar]

love: Keeping my fingers Xed for you.I have a feeling you will get a BFP this month

Well just wanted to ask you Ladies does it happen that when you think it is taking so long for you to conceive , more then sadness a rage hits you.I was fine for so long and then today morning i was just hoping that AF shows up soon and then i was so angry .Just felt like hitting someone Today i just felt so angry on everyone and everything.
One of my cousin is pregnant and seems her mom called up my mom and asked whether i was pregnant? I just hate them so so much.Bitches ****, well i know i should not curse anyone and i try not to but today it seems i cant help it

 

[s_love]

Its perfectly normal! I think we all go through it, but no one likes to admit that they are angry at someone elses happiness. I know it makes me feel like Im a horrible person, but since Ive been on these boards, Ive learned so many women are the same way. Sometimes youre just tired of being sad and its so much easier to exchange it for anger. Anger, at least for me, doesnt make me feel helpless- like when Im sad. But honestly, this ttc has been harder for each and every one of us than we thought it would be when we decided to start trying. Its natural so dont feel bad.

And they are bitches! Who just calls to say "Oh my daughters pregnant, is yours?" Punch some pillows or scream!

This morning I almost went off on a girl on fb... every single one of her status updates since she found out she was pregnant is something like "being a pregnant women..." "well we are pregnant and...." pregnant, pregnant, pregnant! Its gotten even worse since she found out it was a girl and they gave her a name, Danielle. Now its oh Danielle this and Dani that.... yeah I just wanted to be like "I realize youre pregnant and happy, but this pregnancy doesnt define you... youve completely lost yourself and no one cares if Danielle wants a banana!!!" Lol see Im getting all worked up and angry too!

I would seriously do anything short of selling my soul to get a bfp this month and have a healthy pregnancy and baby... between the psychic and all my little gambling-superstitous things, Ive got my hopes way up for this month. I know I shouldnt but I cant help it. And seeing the way my husband reacted when he thought we had a positive has completely renewed me. Its not just about me, like suddenly I realized just how bad he wants this too and I want nothing more than to it to him.

Wowza... that went much longer than I intended/expected it to. Sorry!!

 

[Chris_25]

I'm doing okay, recuperating from our weekend away! Working on an assignment for class, and later this afternoon I have my first follicle scan.

Love, if I watched that show, I'd probably be thinking the same thing! I am having trouble staying asleep at night, too -- think maybe it's the extra hormones from the Clomid? It's rough. Hopefully we won't have to deal with it for much longer!

Good luck let us know how it goes!

 

[horseypants]

dont apologize. i love your posts ladies. i have been feeling all these things too. ah le sigh. i have been at the angry stage more than usual lately. i've been ahving wierd dreams and wondered if maybe that's the clomid.... are any of you doing aspirin too? if so, what kind do you take and do you take it all cycle or just after o.,... or after implantation?

 

[Coolstar]

Thank you so much love. I feel much better now .Ya i know i should not be angry but then i guess its natural when you want something so badly.Well just few days back i told my mom that her daughter (me) might be hitting with infertility.She never had problem conceiving me or my brother but then she supported me so much.I was not sure how she would react but i was so glad that she did understand me.
I have not talked with my particular preggo cousin from yrs coz i never liked them.Your punching idea was good but i want to punch her instead of the pillow lol And about your preggo FB friend really who cares ????? As such earth is over populated and humans are last to get extinct.
I know you should not get your hopes high but honestly speaking even i have a good feeling for you.I just hope that this cycle AF does show her face for you and instead your AF comes to me so that i can start with my clomid soon. Wow that was a good deal .

 

[s_love]

dont apologize. i love your posts ladies. i have been feeling all these things too. ah le sigh. i have been at the angry stage more than usual lately. i've been ahving wierd dreams and wondered if maybe that's the clomid.... are any of you doing aspirin too? if so, what kind do you take and do you take it all cycle or just after o.,... or after implantation?

No not doing the aspirin, actually I haven't heard that yet. What is the aspirin supposed to do? I'm curious!

 

[Chris_25]

I was thinking it might the Clomid too, I'll have to look into that. I have a lot of homework to do, good luck to you on yours!

So what all did y'all do this weekend? Give us details!

Ok this might so dumb, but do you ladies ever find yourselves gambling (for lack of a better explanation) with the pregnancy? Let me explain. We went to play bingo and I was losing many games in a row, so I finally sd "Ok this next game, if I win I'll get pregnant this month, if I don't then I won't." And swear to God above, I won the next game. Lol I find myself doing that with small things a lot lately! I think it's age to say I'm getting desperate! Lol please don't think I'm too crazy!

I've never watched walking dead, but hear so much about it! Lol
That's awesome that you won the game and I have high hopes for you! Lets hope and pray!

 

[s_love]

Cool I'm so happy that you found a support system in your mom! I'm honestly sacred to talk to my mom about it. I know that my oldest sister and I were surprises but my middle sister and the baby my mom lost were both planned. She never sd she had difficulty conceiving but she did say it took a little longer than she thought it would.. But that's for only 2 of 4 pregnancies she's had so I dot really know what to expect.

And if you've never liked the cuz, I say go ahead and punch away... Well after she delivers the baby... Lol but still it would be a good stress release!

I'm really hoping AF doesn't show for any of us. I really want this to be all of our months so we can bitch and moan together about pregnancy!

 

[Chris_25]

Its perfectly normal! I think we all go through it, but no one likes to admit that they are angry at someone elses happiness. I know it makes me feel like Im a horrible person, but since Ive been on these boards, Ive learned so many women are the same way. Sometimes youre just tired of being sad and its so much easier to exchange it for anger. Anger, at least for me, doesnt make me feel helpless- like when Im sad. But honestly, this ttc has been harder for each and every one of us than we thought it would be when we decided to start trying. Its natural so dont feel bad.

And they are bitches! Who just calls to say "Oh my daughters pregnant, is yours?" Punch some pillows or scream!

This morning I almost went off on a girl on fb... every single one of her status updates since she found out she was pregnant is something like "being a pregnant women..." "well we are pregnant and...." pregnant, pregnant, pregnant! Its gotten even worse since she found out it was a girl and they gave her a name, Danielle. Now its oh Danielle this and Dani that.... yeah I just wanted to be like "I realize youre pregnant and happy, but this pregnancy doesnt define you... youve completely lost yourself and no one cares if Danielle wants a banana!!!" Lol see Im getting all worked up and angry too!

I would seriously do anything short of selling my soul to get a bfp this month and have a healthy pregnancy and baby... between the psychic and all my little gambling-superstitous things, Ive got my hopes way up for this month. I know I shouldnt but I cant help it. And seeing the way my husband reacted when he thought we had a positive has completely renewed me. Its not just about me, like suddenly I realized just how bad he wants this too and I want nothing more than to it to him.

Wowza... that went much longer than I intended/expected it to. Sorry!!

I am so with u on all that u wrote!
Don't u freakin hate that? People constantly writing about their kids and pregnancy I want to say stfu! You are funny Danielle wants a banana lmao I would respond No one cares or to be nicer about it just hide her from your newsfeed lol
Holy shit these people are annoying lol
What did the psychic tell u again?

 

[s_love]

Chris- I'm not going to lie that doesn't sound like an altogether fun weekend but totally totally worth it when it works! I really hope it continues to I smoothly for you! I've never taken the Femera, so I'm not sure but the way all these pills and treatments make our hormones and body's react, it very well could be.

 

[horseypants]

LOL ladies pleeeese dont take this the wrong
way - I AM SO gLAD I FOUND A PLACE where we are not trying to do that fake BE POSITIVE CRAP lol - at least not allll the time right? it is a load off. whew. lol at dani and her banana

 

[Chris_25]

love: Keeping my fingers Xed for you.I have a feeling you will get a BFP this month

Well just wanted to ask you Ladies does it happen that when you think it is taking so long for you to conceive , more then sadness a rage hits you.I was fine for so long and then today morning i was just hoping that AF shows up soon and then i was so angry .Just felt like hitting someone Today i just felt so angry on everyone and everything.
One of my cousin is pregnant and seems her mom called up my mom and asked whether i was pregnant? I just hate them so so much.Bitches ****, well i know i should not curse anyone and i try not to but today it seems i cant help it

We all could understand that anger, because I know I get that way where I get so angry I scare myself! Don't pay any mind to to your cousins mom some people are just so inconsiderate an have no common sense that its not polite to ask someone about PREGNANCY! Just try to hang in there your time will be here soon I know it will!

 

[s_love]

Lol I agree! I think ttc makes you hate people more... Well certain people lol. I did totally unsubscribe from her this morning... I can't take Danielle anymore lol!

The psychic told me that within 6 weeks I would be pregnant with a boy and I would carry him to 39 weeks. I'd give birth at like 3 in the afternoon as she ave me all kinda of crazy details! If she's right, then this month will be within the 6 weeks... I don't know if I fully believe in psychics but it was crazy that she gave me a pregnancy reading but didnt touch the subject on my friends.

 

[Chris_25]

Chris- I'm not going to lie that doesn't sound like an altogether fun weekend but totally totally worth it when it works! I really hope it continues to I smoothly for you! I've never taken the Femera, so I'm not sure but the way all these pills and treatments make our hormones and body's react, it very well could be.

G

 

[sadangel777]

Cool, I am such an angry person now!!! I do get depressed, but you're right -- the rage hits me even harder, and I just want to hit something! Sometimes I just want to hit myself, because I get angry at my body for not working or doing what I want. I'm trying to read a book on Western philosophy and inner peace to try to get a handle on my anger.

Love, I do find myself gambling, so to speak. I'll be hoping for something to happen, like win a raffle, and I'll think to myself, "I want to win! But not in place of getting pregnant!" Stuff like that. We were at a game convention this weekend, and I had 2 tarot readings! One was a bust, didn't feel accurate at all and the chick doing it was a fake I think. The other was nice, but I could tell she was holding something back so I told her about the miscarriage and TTC. I didn't want to do that because I think it affects the reading. But she told me she thinks I need to back off the fertility treatment because my DH hasn't grieved about the MC (it was 13 years ago!). She doesn't see me getting pg for at least 6 months or a year. But I don't care! I went home and did a reading myself and got a lot of the same cards she pulled, but in different positions, and they didn't say to hold off, they said to keep strong and be persistent! I don't know, I guess I just wanted her to say "you will be a mom soon."

Horseypants, I've been having wierd, vivid and sometimes scary dreams ever since I started the Clomid, so that's probably what's causing it. I have read very different things about aspirin and NSAIDs; I've seen where baby aspirin is supposed to assist with implantation, but I've also read very bad things about taking NSAIDs while TTC and aspirin is an NSAID so that's why I haven't tried it myself.

For my update, I had my first follicle scan (yay!) and I have 3 follicles, only one of which will probably be mature enough. So he thinks in 2 days it will be big enough, so Wednesday I go in for my trigger. DH and I are compromising on the IUI; I'm going to try Clomid with trigger for a few months first. I think he will be more receptive to timed BDing since he hated doing the SA so much! BTW, his SA came back just fine! I think the doc said he needed a number higher than 50 million and it was like 189!!! Everything else, movement, etc., was also good! I'm still feeling pretty hopeful, but we'll see ... I tend to have ups and downs just like everyone else. TTC is an awful rollercoaster, but the ups are very nice!

 

[s_love]

LOL ladies pleeeese dont take this the wrong
way - I AM SO gLAD I FOUND A PLACE where we are not trying to do that fake BE POSITIVE CRAP lol - at least not allll the time right? it is a load off. whew. lol at dani and her banana

Lol I dont take that the wrong way at all! I think its a compliment. I love knowing these ladies are straight forward with me. Yall are my support group on this more than anyone I know!

Honestly I just get tired of peoples positivity all the time. We have been positive for months, we are allowed some angry/sad time occasionally!