Losing my mind

[Chris_25]

Chris: How is your pain? Hope u r feeling better.Did you get a +opk?

Still feel crappy! No +opk yet what's goin on with you? How u doing?

 

[Coolstar]

love: LOL even i think after few days i will be the only person visible in my FB friend list and all others will be hidden.And angel is right, don't go to baby showers if it makes you depressed.I don't go.

Angel: You really give us hope but then i would miss u terribly when my DH has performance issue next time LOL

 

[Chris_25]

So how many post can i hide in FB.My FB is full of kids/baby pics.Caption like "My baby turned 2" or "2nd one on the way" or "I am blessed with a baby".I have 328 friend list in FB not a lot but not very little either and i realized most of them have kids and those who don't have are not trying (Maybe 1 or 2 are ttcing, i don't know ).So my best friend told me that she would start ttc from mid or end of the yr (she does not know that i am ttcing and reached 1 yr mark, she thinks i have just started ).Well so mean of me the 1st thought that came to me that : she will be PG before me.Oh God!! I pray that i get my BFP before that.......End of vent.

Sorry angel i did not want to vent out and spoil your day but i feel so sad,frustrated and depressed.And i will be turning 31 next month

I totally agree I turned 31 the other day and I'm so nervous about my age. As for fb I'm so sick of these damn people with their stupid pictures and stupid comments about their kids lol
I'm seriously so depressed I'm thinking of therapy soon. I vented to my best friend last night which I don't usually do much about this subject I basically cried myself to sleep and she told me she's worried about me and I need to see someone oh and that I need to get a grip on this. People who never experienced this have no fuckin clue. If you read up on ttc it actually says people grieve more with it than someone passing away.

 

[Coolstar]

Chris: How is your pain? Hope u r feeling better.Did you get a +opk?

Still feel crappy! No +opk yet what's goin on with you? How u doing?

I am depressed,sad,frustrated and I don't know what other words I have to describe my feelings.
I never got +opk this cycle so i doubt whether i have ov or not I think last yr i only ov once based on my progesterone test.I can never get PG this way

 

[Chris_25]

Chris: How is your pain? Hope u r feeling better.Did you get a +opk?

Still feel crappy! No +opk yet what's goin on with you? How u doing?

I am depressed,sad,frustrated and I don't know what other words I have to describe my feelings.
I never got +opk this cycle so i doubt whether i have ov or not I think last yr i only ov once based on my progesterone test.I can never get PG this way

Why aren't they doing anything for that? You need to take progesterone

 

[Coolstar]

So how many post can i hide in FB.My FB is full of kids/baby pics.Caption like "My baby turned 2" or "2nd one on the way" or "I am blessed with a baby".I have 328 friend list in FB not a lot but not very little either and i realized most of them have kids and those who don't have are not trying (Maybe 1 or 2 are ttcing, i don't know ).So my best friend told me that she would start ttc from mid or end of the yr (she does not know that i am ttcing and reached 1 yr mark, she thinks i have just started ).Well so mean of me the 1st thought that came to me that : she will be PG before me.Oh God!! I pray that i get my BFP before that.......End of vent.

Sorry angel i did not want to vent out and spoil your day but i feel so sad,frustrated and depressed.And i will be turning 31 next month

I totally agree I turned 31 the other day and I'm so nervous about my age. My best friend said she's gonna start in a few months also. I don't know how I'm gonna handle it. She will prob get pregnant quick anyway because everyone fuckin gets pregnant in a second except me. She also had an abortion and at the time I begged her to keep it.
As for fb I'm so sick of these damn people with their stupid pictures and stupid comments about their kids lol
I'm seriously so depressed I'm thinking of therapy soon. I vented to my best friend last night which I don't usually do much about this subject I basically cried myself to sleep and she told me she's worried about me and I need to see someone oh and that I need to get a grip on this. People who never experienced this have no fuckin clue. If you read up on ttc it actually says people grieve more with it than someone passing away.

I think we are in the same boat.Same age, same cycle and both our Best Friend is thinking of having a baby.The thought that she will have a baby before me is killing me.
You know i cried so much today that i prayed to God that if he cant give me a baby then he can kill me . Sometime i am ok but some days it is terrible.And i think since i did not get +opk this cycle i am very sad at present.

 

[Coolstar]

Chris: How is your pain? Hope u r feeling better.Did you get a +opk?

Still feel crappy! No +opk yet what's goin on with you? How u doing?

I am depressed,sad,frustrated and I don't know what other words I have to describe my feelings.
I never got +opk this cycle so i doubt whether i have ov or not I think last yr i only ov once based on my progesterone test.I can never get PG this way

Why aren't they doing anything for that? You need to take progesterone

My doc is not giving me anything besides Clomid.I am waiting for my next results and then next cycle although it will be a ttc break but i would be going for some more check up, test etc.

 

[Chris_25]

So how many post can i hide in FB.My FB is full of kids/baby pics.Caption like "My baby turned 2" or "2nd one on the way" or "I am blessed with a baby".I have 328 friend list in FB not a lot but not very little either and i realized most of them have kids and those who don't have are not trying (Maybe 1 or 2 are ttcing, i don't know ).So my best friend told me that she would start ttc from mid or end of the yr (she does not know that i am ttcing and reached 1 yr mark, she thinks i have just started ).Well so mean of me the 1st thought that came to me that : she will be PG before me.Oh God!! I pray that i get my BFP before that.......End of vent.

Sorry angel i did not want to vent out and spoil your day but i feel so sad,frustrated and depressed.And i will be turning 31 next month

I totally agree I turned 31 the other day and I'm so nervous about my age. My best friend said she's gonna start in a few months also. I don't know how I'm gonna handle it. She will prob get pregnant quick anyway because everyone fuckin gets pregnant in a second except me. She also had an abortion and at the time I begged her to keep it.
As for fb I'm so sick of these damn people with their stupid pictures and stupid comments about their kids lol
I'm seriously so depressed I'm thinking of therapy soon. I vented to my best friend last night which I don't usually do much about this subject I basically cried myself to sleep and she told me she's worried about me and I need to see someone oh and that I need to get a grip on this. People who never experienced this have no fuckin clue. If you read up on ttc it actually says people grieve more with it than someone passing away.

I think we are in the same boat.Same age, same cycle and both our Best Friend is thinking of having a baby.The thought that she will have a baby before me is killing me.
You know i cried so much today that i prayed to God that if he cant give me a baby then he can kill me . Sometime i am ok but some days it is terrible.And i think since i did not get +opk this cycle i am very sad at present.

I actually tell God the same thing because there's no point in being here. I'm being punished for something. Hopefully you did ovulate just wait for the blood work and see. What day are you?

 

[Coolstar]

Chris: I am CD 20 and my temp this cycle are so weird.It was high from the beginning of the cycle.I don't know whether it is a side effect of clomid or my body is becoming Clomid resistant

 

[Chris_25]

Chris: I am CD 20 and my temp this cycle are so weird.It was high from the beginning of the cycle.I don't know whether it is a side effect of clomid or my body is becoming Clomid resistant

Maybe they can switch your medication that your on? Femara or something...

 

[s_love]

I haven't even been tracking my temps by the last time I did on Clomid they were all wonky.

Cool, Chris is right, maybe they can switch your meds?

I cry almost every night while praying. I beg God... I have been for awhile now. I feel like I'm being ignored. This is when everyone tells me "it will happen in its own time" or "having faith in God is having faith in his timing" .... I'm tired of hearing that. I just want to know when or if it is going to happen.

Right before I left Texas, I was talking to my oldest sister about TTC. She is 36 years old and as far back as I can remember she hasn't wanted kids. She told me that her and her hubby tried for all of 2011 and some of the beginning of 2912 and nothing. I had no idea. But she didn't follow up on the subject, no docs, no meds. She only tried because her hubby wants kids, but she doesn't so she was actually relieved. It seems it runs in my family. Which I'm not sure if I should be comforted by that or what.

 

[aknqtpie]

Back from the doctors... Looks like there is still some retained tissue in my uterus. They are thinking it could be molar... but I am praying it is just tissue that was just missed... if it is molar, then it will be 6 months - 1 year before I can try again. Who knows though. Anyways, looks like I will be getting a D&C in the next week.

 

[sadangel777]

I'm so sorry, aknqtpie. I hope it is tissue they missed.

*HUGS*

 

[Coolstar]

love:It might be that it runs in family.I don't have any sisters so i don't know whether it runs or not in my family but if it did then it would at least console and comfort me a little.

aknqtpie: I hope it is just a tissue.

 

[s_love]

Back from the doctors... Looks like there is still some retained tissue in my uterus. They are thinking it could be molar... but I am praying it is just tissue that was just missed... if it is molar, then it will be 6 months - 1 year before I can try again. Who knows though. Anyways, looks like I will be getting a D&C in the next week.

Fingers crossed that its just tissue

So on FB a friend just posted her New Years resolutions, number 3 on her list is get pregnant again.. She's got a 1 year old son already. As soon as I saw that, I got a sickening feeling... I know she's going to get pregnant before me. I know in my mind its going to be a mental race with her because she announced it and I can keep track if her. Ugggghhhh TTC obsession, look what you've done to my life!!!

 

[Chris_25]

I haven't even been tracking my temps by the last time I did on Clomid they were all wonky.

Cool, Chris is right, maybe they can switch your meds?

I cry almost every night while praying. I beg God... I have been for awhile now. I feel like I'm being ignored. This is when everyone tells me "it will happen in its own time" or "having faith in God is having faith in his timing" .... I'm tired of hearing that. I just want to know when or if it is going to happen.

Right before I left Texas, I was talking to my oldest sister about TTC. She is 36 years old and as far back as I can remember she hasn't wanted kids. She told me that her and her hubby tried for all of 2011 and some of the beginning of 2912 and nothing. I had no idea. But she didn't follow up on the subject, no docs, no meds. She only tried because her hubby wants kids, but she doesn't so she was actually relieved. It seems it runs in my family. Which I'm not sure if I should be comforted by that or what.

Exactly what I say I feel like I'm being ignored. I know God is listening, but he just doesn't want to give me one for some reason. Last night I said I'm not begging anymore! I'm not sure if this type of thing is genetic
Wow I can't believe that your sister was trying. So they stopped now?

 

[Chris_25]

Back from the doctors... Looks like there is still some retained tissue in my uterus. They are thinking it could be molar... but I am praying it is just tissue that was just missed... if it is molar, then it will be 6 months - 1 year before I can try again. Who knows though. Anyways, looks like I will be getting a D&C in the next week.

Oh wow I hope the d&c will do it and that will be it. I'm sure it will be ok. What is molar?

 

[Chris_25]

Back from the doctors... Looks like there is still some retained tissue in my uterus. They are thinking it could be molar... but I am praying it is just tissue that was just missed... if it is molar, then it will be 6 months - 1 year before I can try again. Who knows though. Anyways, looks like I will be getting a D&C in the next week.

Fingers crossed that its just tissue

So on FB a friend just posted her New Years resolutions, number 3 on her list is get pregnant again.. She's got a 1 year old son already. As soon as I saw that, I got a sickening feeling... I know she's going to get pregnant before me. I know in my mind its going to be a mental race with her because she announced it and I can keep track if her. Ugggghhhh TTC obsession, look what you've done to my life!!!

Bitch face! Sorry that was the beast in me talking

 

[aknqtpie]

I don't think I would ever post that "getting pregnant again" is a resolution on facebook... that is kind of putting too much out there, and tempting fate.

Molar pregnancies are pretty much evil. https://www.webmd.com/baby/tc/molar-pregnancy-topic-overview

The worst part about the whole thing.. is that I might have to wait 6 months to a year to try again. Also that the cells could be cancerous..

One of the signs to see if it was molar, is if my HCG is going up again. So I am going to POAS tonight. even though they did blood work. Because if it is still negative, then it isn't molar.. but if a positive line appears.. then it means it is more than likely molar because the HCG count went up.

Why can't this be easy? Curse me for not getting knocked up when I was younger.

 

[s_love]

Chris- I like the new pic! Yeah they stopped. She never wanted kids and only tried to please her DH. She knew she had pcos, and he knew too, but they figured 1+ years of trying would be enough time. Guess they have other fertility issues beyond pcos.

Aknqtpie- yeah that is evil. Before you mentioned it I had only heard of molar pregnancy like one time. I'll be praying for you that it's not cancerous and your HCG levels stay down. I didn't know you had to wait so long to try if it is molar... That's so unfair.

Yeah I'd never post something like that on FB but I'm sure they have no issues and she wants everyone to know that they are about to get pregnant again. And yes it makes me hate her lol. Bitch face indeed!!

I wish I knew why I was being punished, because that's what it truly feels like. I'd change anything I had to to be able to get pregnant.