Low dropping levels but HB found?

[detterose]

Wow. Talk about bad timing... An old work colleague whom I used to be very closed to just messaged me to say she is 10 weeks pregnant. She doesnt know about our MC but still... What a kick in the gut that was

 

[dairymomma]

Oof. I know that feeling all too well. My s-i-l sent a text a few days ago announcing the (overdue) birth of her son. It came just over a week after my D&C for my 7th m/c. My sis is due next week and last time we talked (yesterday) she was having labor pains. Both times, I just had to sit down because of the jealousy just floored me. I'm doing okay now but that pinch of envy never really gets any better does it? It stings every time I find out about another baby even though I have two kids (despite my other losses) and know I can make it nine months.

 

[detterose]

Oof. I know that feeling all too well. My s-i-l sent a text a few days ago announcing the (overdue) birth of her son. It came just over a week after my D&C for my 7th m/c. My sis is due next week and last time we talked (yesterday) she was having labor pains. Both times, I just had to sit down because of the jealousy just floored me. I'm doing okay now but that pinch of envy never really gets any better does it? It stings every time I find out about another baby even though I have two kids (despite my other losses) and know I can make it nine months.

I know what you mean I just thank every day for my healthy beautiful son. He has made the last few days to get through worthwhile, as my OH hasnt really been as supportive as I had hoped. I think because the pregnancy wasnt planned, in his head he doesnt see why I am so upset by the loss... Men...

 

[Literati_Love]

Yes, I did call my dr but still was not til 5 pm Fri that I finally received the call. My hCG levels had dropped to 75 already so te baby is definitely gone. Not sure if I'll still have to go for a follow up ultrasound. I see my dr on tues. we are very sad but there is a sense of relief in knowing for sure.

I know what you mean about your old colleague telling you about her pregnancy at the worst time. The girl I share an office with told me she was pregnant before I left for holidays. I went to the hospital 3 days later. It is going to be hard going back and hearing everyone congratulating her, as she will be 13 weeks now. We were supposed to be going through this together.

 

[detterose]

Yes, I did call my dr but still was not til 5 pm Fri that I finally received the call. My hCG levels had dropped to 75 already so te baby is definitely gone. Not sure if I'll still have to go for a follow up ultrasound. I see my dr on tues. we are very sad but there is a sense of relief in knowing for sure.

I know what you mean about your old colleague telling you about her pregnancy at the worst time. The girl I share an office with told me she was pregnant before I left for holidays. I went to the hospital 3 days later. It is going to be hard going back and hearing everyone congratulating her, as she will be 13 weeks now. We were supposed to be going through this together.

Oh hunny.. I am so sorry to hear We will get through it. And its definitely hard when everyone around you seems to be announcing their pregnancy or births I have decided to go back on birth control when my levels are back below 5. I dont think I am ready to go through that pain again. And OH doesnt want another baby yet Will you be TTC once you get the ok?

 

[Literati_Love]

Oh, that is sad to hear but understandable. You have to wait til you're ready. We are anxious to start trying as soon as we get the ok, but this will be our first child and we just want to hold our own baby in our arms already. I don't even know what I would do or how I would cope if this happened again, though.

 

[detterose]

Oh, that is sad to hear but understandable. You have to wait til you're ready. We are anxious to start trying as soon as we get the ok, but this will be our first child and we just want to hold our own baby in our arms already. I don't even know what I would do or how I would cope if this happened again, though.

I know it's hard at a time like this but try to stay positive hunny. I have heard so many stories about women who get their BFPs straight after am MC and go on to have their rainbow babies. Not all hope is lost. You will hold a precious baby in your arms soon.

 

[melfy77]

I was hoping for a better outcome

I'm sorry sorry for your losses

Lots of women get pregnant after a miscarriage and carry to term! I've had 2 MC's before having my daughter, but the 1st one was a chemical; I was only 3-4 days late so if we hadn't really been trying I wouldn't have know I was pregnant.

You'll all have your rainbows I know it's hard to believe when you're grieving, but after DD was born, I realized my miscarriages were a hard lesson from God (I'm a Christian) and now I wouldn't change anything. She is a blessing and we love her sooooo much!!! and I know the next time you get pregnant you'll both be a nervous wreck, this is why you should go to the Pregnancy after loss section

 

[Literati_Love]

Thank you, detterose and melfy77. It is encouraging to hear that there is still hope. It is all just so scary and unknown, though. Melfy77, I am a christian as well and am glad you have come to terms with your losses and feel thankful for all that is happened. It is difficult seeing God's plan through all of this but I know He knows best.

I'll definitely have to check out the pregnancy after loss forum when/if I do get pregnant again.

I am glad I have had the people on this forum to help me through this time. Everyone is so supportive, and in real life I don't know of anyone my age who has suffered a miscarriage (probably because they just haven't told me).

 

[detterose]

Don't worry. I felt the same about not being able to talk to anyone. My best friend has PCOS and has had 3 miscarriages and has been TTc for almost 2 years with no luck, so I felt guilty for talking about my one miscarriage when I have a healthy son. But regardless, a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter how far along you were, whether or not you already have children, it doesn't make it hurt any less. And it sure hurts when you feel alone through it. I finally broke to my OH yesterday. He hasn't asked me once since it happened how I have felt, he apologised and thought I didn't want to talk about it. It felt good to use him as a punching bag for about 20 minutes

But don't give up Literati, just take care of yourself at the moment and be kind to yourself. Do you know if you need another U/S yet??

 

[detterose]

I was hoping for a better outcome

I'm sorry sorry for your losses

Lots of women get pregnant after a miscarriage and carry to term! I've had 2 MC's before having my daughter, but the 1st one was a chemical; I was only 3-4 days late so if we hadn't really been trying I wouldn't have know I was pregnant.

You'll all have your rainbows I know it's hard to believe when you're grieving, but after DD was born, I realized my miscarriages were a hard lesson from God (I'm a Christian) and now I wouldn't change anything. She is a blessing and we love her sooooo much!!! and I know the next time you get pregnant you'll both be a nervous wreck, this is why you should go to the Pregnancy after loss section

Thanks so much for your support. I treasure my little son more every day since this has happened. Children really are blessings.

 

[Literati_Love]

Don't worry. I felt the same about not being able to talk to anyone. My best friend has PCOS and has had 3 miscarriages and has been TTc for almost 2 years with no luck, so I felt guilty for talking about my one miscarriage when I have a healthy son. But regardless, a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter how far along you were, whether or not you already have children, it doesn't make it hurt any less. And it sure hurts when you feel alone through it. I finally broke to my OH yesterday. He hasn't asked me once since it happened how I have felt, he apologised and thought I didn't want to talk about it. It felt good to use him as a punching bag for about 20 minutes

But don't give up Literati, just take care of yourself at the moment and be kind to yourself. Do you know if you need another U/S yet??

Yes, I agree that it doesn't matter the circumstances, any loss really hurts and is hard to deal with. That is too bad about your best friend as well. I can't imagine her struggle!

I am glad you were able to talk to your husband about how you felt and that he apologized for not asking how you felt. Funny how big a communication barrier there can be sometimes. I am glad you feel a bit better now.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning so I will find out then if I still need the other u/s. Part of me is just tired of being poked and prodded and hopes I don't have to go back, but part of me wants to get the u/s just to make sure everything is cleared out of there. I don't want any problems in the future... The bleeding completely stopped today so I think I may be in the clear.

 

[detterose]

Don't worry. I felt the same about not being able to talk to anyone. My best friend has PCOS and has had 3 miscarriages and has been TTc for almost 2 years with no luck, so I felt guilty for talking about my one miscarriage when I have a healthy son. But regardless, a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter how far along you were, whether or not you already have children, it doesn't make it hurt any less. And it sure hurts when you feel alone through it. I finally broke to my OH yesterday. He hasn't asked me once since it happened how I have felt, he apologised and thought I didn't want to talk about it. It felt good to use him as a punching bag for about 20 minutes

But don't give up Literati, just take care of yourself at the moment and be kind to yourself. Do you know if you need another U/S yet??

Yes, I agree that it doesn't matter the circumstances, any loss really hurts and is hard to deal with. That is too bad about your best friend as well. I can't imagine her struggle!

I am glad you were able to talk to your husband about how you felt and that he apologized for not asking how you felt. Funny how big a communication barrier there can be sometimes. I am glad you feel a bit better now.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning so I will find out then if I still need the other u/s. Part of me is just tired of being poked and prodded and hopes I don't have to go back, but part of me wants to get the u/s just to make sure everything is cleared out of there. I don't want any problems in the future... The bleeding completely stopped today so I think I may be in the clear.

Oh I know what you mean. I counted in the last 3 weeks, I had 4 transvaginal ultrasound, 2 internal examinations and 8 blood tests. Poked and prodded is an understatement of what we endured! I think a US would be a good idea. It gives you that closure as well. Let us know how your appt goes. I will be keeping you in my prayers lovely xx

 

[Literati_Love]

Ack, yes, that is a lot! I'm sure you're glad to have that over with.

My doctor's appointment today was informative and gave me some closure. I will still be having my final ultrasound on Monday just to make sure no tissue remains. I also have to keep getting my hCG levels tested until they're below 5...but they were already down to 9 on Monday so there's a good chance I'll only have to go one more time. My dr was very understanding and told me she had a miscarriage once as well and it was the worst experience of her life. I'm glad she shared that with me so that I knew she could relate. She is also going to monitor my TSH levels more carefully so that we can get them below 2.5. They were at 3.98 when she tested during pregnancy, so I definitely don't want that. I have Graves' disease so my TSH is something that always has to be monitored anyway.

How are you feeling today? Maybe I should re-phrase that, since my least favourite question since this all happened has been "how are you?" But...you can be honest here.

 

[detterose]

Ack, yes, that is a lot! I'm sure you're glad to have that over with.

My doctor's appointment today was informative and gave me some closure. I will still be having my final ultrasound on Monday just to make sure no tissue remains. I also have to keep getting my hCG levels tested until they're below 5...but they were already down to 9 on Monday so there's a good chance I'll only have to go one more time. My dr was very understanding and told me she had a miscarriage once as well and it was the worst experience of her life. I'm glad she shared that with me so that I knew she could relate. She is also going to monitor my TSH levels more carefully so that we can get them below 2.5. They were at 3.98 when she tested during pregnancy, so I definitely don't want that. I have Graves' disease so my TSH is something that always has to be monitored anyway.

How are you feeling today? Maybe I should re-phrase that, since my least favourite question since this all happened has been "how are you?" But...you can be honest here.

I am glad you got some closure today. And there is nothing better then having an understanding doctor, that's why I see mine even though I work for her. Some might find it awkward to discuss personal things with someone you work with, but she is by far the best doctor I have had, so I don't mind and she never makes things awkward

I have another blood test tomorrow. Last Friday they were already down to 365 so after losing baby Thursday night they had dropped by 400 within a day. So I would say by almost a week later, they should be back below 5. I feel much better tiredness and sickness wise too.

Arid you discuss when you will TTC again? I have hypothyroidism, so I am on Thyroxine for mine. Are you on anything for it???

Emotionally, I am getting there... It's a long road ahead, but I am feeling a bit better. I went to work today so I had a lot to distract me thankfully But do you notice now that you see newborn babies everywhere you go??

 

[Literati_Love]

I see why you would stay with the doctor you work for if she is so understanding. That makes a lot of sense!

I'm glad you're feeling better physically. I have found that since this happened I have been so much more tired than when I was pregnant. I am sleeping 12 hours a night and still sometimes needing a nap during the day. But that is just always how my body has dealt with stress...sleep...sleep...sleep!

My doctor told me to wait to start trying until I've had a normal period, so we will be waiting until then. We won't be waiting any longer because I'm very anxious to start a family. It is going to be hard to wait out this month (or longer), but I know it will probably be better for us emotionally and physically. Besides that, this way I won't have to worry about being 4 weeks pregnant when we travel across the country for a wedding in August. I know I will be a nervous wreck when I get pregnant again so it's probably better if that stress isn't added to an already stressful trip.

Yes, I take synthroid for mine. I am hypothyroid too, but only because I had to get the radioactive iodine treatment on my thyroid back when it was extremely overactive, so now I don't have any thyroid of my own. So interesting that we both have thyroid disorders, though!

I am glad you are emotionally feeling better and that work was a distraction for you. I am going back to work on Friday and am not looking forward to it. Only a select few people know about my miscarriage, so it is going to be hard dodging nosy questions about why I was away. I definitely know what you mean about noticing newborns everywhere. It hurts just a little bit every time I see a couple with their newborn, or an obviously pregnant woman. I just think...I might never be able to have that. And even when people mention their children, it stings a little because I always assumed I would be able to have them and now I don't even know for sure. I am finding all the fears for the future to be worse than the grief itself. Obviously, I am still so sad about my loss, but I am finding my fears incredibly crippling. Having said that, I am doing better emotionally as well and my DH has been incredibly supportive. We talk about our feelings about the situation lots when we feel like it, and other times we help each other distract ourselves, and finally we are smiling and laughing again at times.

 

[detterose]

Oh I know what you mean. I slept 8.30-6.30 last night. But I can finally get through a day without being exhausted.

At least if you wait one cycle it won't be as confusing to figure out when baby was conceived. But hopefully the wedding is a nice distraction from everything for you.

I wonder if it has anything to do with it? Although mines been under control since my first pregnancy, so I would hope not?

I hear you My boss asked how I was as soon as I walked into her office. I felt like bursting into tears. Stay strong Hun. Hopefully work will be good to get your mind off things. Xxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Oh I know what you mean. I slept 8.30-6.30 last night. But I can finally get through a day without being exhausted.

At least if you wait one cycle it won't be as confusing to figure out when baby was conceived. But hopefully the wedding is a nice distraction from everything for you.

I wonder if it has anything to do with it? Although mines been under control since my first pregnancy, so I would hope not?

I hear you My boss asked how I was as soon as I walked into her office. I felt like bursting into tears. Stay strong Hun. Hopefully work will be good to get your mind off things. Xxx

Well that is positive that you don't feel so exhausted during the day.

Yes, hopefully it will be a good distraction. My plan is to pamper myself this month. My doctor told me to have lots of "me" time and try to have fun. I plan on staying home, avoiding people (I'm not really a social person to begin with), reading, drinking an extra glass of wine now and then, watching indulgent television, and slacking on the housework for the next month. It will almost be nice to not worry about the stress of trying for a little while.

I hope our thyroids don't have anything to do with it, but that is why I am working with my doctor to get my TSH below 2.5 since I read that higher than that comes with an increased risk of miscarriage. I am sure if your thyroid levels are under control that they wouldn't have anything to do with your miscarriage. It's just not good for them to be out of whack.

I'm hoping work will be a good distraction and not the opposite. I am worried I won't have enough brain function to do my job. Lately I feel like my body is just walking around without a brain. I feel so foggy and I can't remember what anyone says or what happened or what I was supposed to do 5 minutes ago. Oy.

 

[detterose]

Oh my.. That sounds like a great idea. Especially the extra wine and TV part I think I need to slow down on house work as well. But LO is a reflux baby so I am always cleaning vomit off something and washing spewy things, otherwise it accumulates my house smells horrid!!!

I have finally managed to get OH to help with some housework, I just hope he keeps it up. Because I have only returned back to work doing 2 days a week about two weeks ago. So I definitely need an extra hand here and there.

Are you upping your medication dose to get your TSH down?? I am on 100mcg Thyroxine for mine and it helped a lot, got it straight down from 6.9 when I first found out I had it!

I know what you mean, I stare off and switch off all the time. I don't mean to but I think it's my brains way of dealing with things ATM. No one can blame you Hun, it's a tough time ATM.

 

[Literati_Love]

You should try a month of pampering as well! Although, it sounds like your baby keeps you pretty busy with his spit-up! I am glad your husband is helping out a bit. I really hope he keeps it up! You definitely need the support right now.
What we are trying now is taking my synthroid before bed instead of the morning so it gets absorbed better. I've done it before and it got my TSH down to 1.9 so that would be perfect. If that doesn't work, then ya I might increase my dose.
Ooh yes I hear you on the staring off/ switching off. It definitely must be a coping mechanism.