Ltttc graduates!

[peacebaby]

Jen, my perfectly unscientific guess was girl then boy. I think the skull and forehead have soft feminine features but i'll be different & say boy. Thats so cool to have DD all excited & shopping with you

Ready, you make a good point & that was DHs line of thought too but yesterday he caved so I ordered it today for next day delivery. For me right now the reassurance outweighs the negative but I wont use it beyond a certain point. On another note, I am thrilled to read that you got the blocked tube you were hoping for Thats a huge step forward & its totally valid and realistic to feel a renewed sense of hope. Will you do IUI or natural? I'm excited for you!

Bmom yay for clomid! Hoping the golden egg springs forth this cycle xx

Crystal, haha at the flavour guess. Weirdly this is the first time I haven't had any girl/boys dreams, with my other bfp's the dreams were clear as daylight. But this time all my crazy vivid dreams featured female friends and family members Dh's sister has just had a girl, the first baby in the family in over 40yrs so lets see who comes next. Right now I still can't get my head around the idea that "its a real baby" so I have no ideas about girl/boy. Acupuncturists say they can tell by a certain type of pulse in the wrist they're trained to look for, if its dominant in the right hand its a girl, left hand is boy. I have no clue what i'm doing but i do check this "elusive pulse" 2 million times day

Girls I need advice. When we first started ttc I felt some confidence that I could handle being a mum, I was also more energetic then. My experience with babies & toddlers was fresh as I'd just spent 2 yrs re-training for a second career as a Montessori teacher, also did lots of babysitting for family in my youth but thats all light years away now. With the whole sordid ttc saga I put all my energy and focus into that & strategising to solve all my fertility issues. It became the outline and the detail of everything i did really. Somewhere along the line I forgot what I was fighting for and my miscarriages crushed that initial confidence.....With no significant involvement with kids of any age over the last few years I feel like I have no clue and won't know what do if this baby actually arrives. Help!! Where do I start? Any books to recommend? I dont even know what I'm supposed to be buying Throw it all at me please!

 

[crystal443]

awww Peace, you will do fine I will be writing you a longer post later because I have to go and get ready now but I'm sure we all have advice Be back later with advice

 

[readyformore]

I have to say that I LOVE this thread. We can all talk about babies and pregnancy and I feel a little weird doing that on the ltttc thread.

 

[readyformore]

Girls I need advice. When we first started ttc I felt some confidence that I could handle being a mum, I was also more energetic then. My experience with babies & toddlers was fresh as I'd just spent 2 yrs re-training for a second career as a Montessori teacher, also did lots of babysitting for family in my youth but thats all light years away now. With the whole sordid ttc saga I put all my energy and focus into that & strategising to solve all my fertility issues. It became the outline and the detail of everything i did really. Somewhere along the line I forgot what I was fighting for and my miscarriages crushed that initial confidence.....With no significant involvement with kids of any age over the last few years I feel like I have no clue and won't know what do if this baby actually arrives. Help!! Where do I start? Any books to recommend? I dont even know what I'm supposed to be buying Throw it all at me please!

Peace

This is a NORMAL first time mom feeling, (or even an experienced mom feeling ). This isn't necessarily related to ltttc or miscarriages. I think that we all feel inadequate about having complete responsibility for a helpless little person. Heck when my first son was born, I couldn't even give him a bath without my husband. And I had probably given hundreds of other babies baths. It was just different with my own. I felt I was going to do it wrong.

There really is no RIGHT way to parent. You have to just guess and test and get to know your baby. See what works right for both of you. Books are okay, but you have to remember that your baby has never read the book.

You will need approximately 5% of everything that is sold in baby stores so don't get overwhelmed. You need either boobs or bottles, diapers, and transportation (stroller if in the city, or car seat if in the suburbs). Of course a few articles of clothing are nice too. We can discuss specifics when you are ready, but I don't think that's the main focus of your post.

The bottom line is that you WILL BE THE BEST MOTHER YOUR BABY WILL EVER KNOW. Period!!

It's hard to have confidence when you've never done it before. That's okay. The confidence will come.

Try not to doubt yourself too much.

 

[peacebaby]

Ready that's a huge relief to know right now. Had my booking in appointment yesterday and the advertisements & catalogues given to us were dreadfully overwhelming.

Yes, please feel free to chat infinitely all things pregnancies & babies. Experienced mums are the best guides and besides its just fun to read!

 

[Jennifer01]

Ok, listening to you talk about feeling the baby move and shopping for her has made me a little teary eyed. It's a smidge embarrassing.

Jen I bet it will take until you're huge and you can SEE the baby move to really let it sink it. I know that with my second son, it really never sunk in. I prepared for his arrival, but I was walking into the hospital in labor and repeatedly saying, "I can't believe we are having another baby."

Have you started discussing names yet?

Yup you're probably right, I can already imagine oh and I walking into the hospital in labour looking all wide eyed and shell shocked!! We have a few names but nothing concrete, I think once we find out gender we will really get down to choosing.

 

[Jennifer01]

Omg omg Now I can stalk you both on here Jennifer how much clomid did you take and when ?i have just finished mine from this month ,100 mg cd1-5 Any tips greatly appreciated ,really love the thread

Yay bmom so glad you're here
I took 50 mg. I was instructed to take it days 5-9, but on the last month I took it 3-7. I did that partly because I searched fertility friend charts for bfps on clomid and I felt like the day 3-7 girls were winning and partly because when we were at the fs and he was talking to us about trying iui he said i would take clomid 3-7. you know, I almost didn't take it that month because I was going to save it for after my laparoscopy. Glad I took it!! And of course don't forget the can of coke Please post on here how it's going! (and get some ibuprofen for the clomid headaches)

 

[Jennifer01]

Jen, my perfectly unscientific guess was girl then boy. I think the skull and forehead have soft feminine features but i'll be different & say boy. Thats so cool to have DD all excited & shopping with you

Ready, you make a good point & that was DHs line of thought too but yesterday he caved so I ordered it today for next day delivery. For me right now the reassurance outweighs the negative but I wont use it beyond a certain point. On another note, I am thrilled to read that you got the blocked tube you were hoping for Thats a huge step forward & its totally valid and realistic to feel a renewed sense of hope. Will you do IUI or natural? I'm excited for you!

Bmom yay for clomid! Hoping the golden egg springs forth this cycle xx

Crystal, haha at the flavour guess. Weirdly this is the first time I haven't had any girl/boys dreams, with my other bfp's the dreams were clear as daylight. But this time all my crazy vivid dreams featured female friends and family members Dh's sister has just had a girl, the first baby in the family in over 40yrs so lets see who comes next. Right now I still can't get my head around the idea that "its a real baby" so I have no ideas about girl/boy. Acupuncturists say they can tell by a certain type of pulse in the wrist they're trained to look for, if its dominant in the right hand its a girl, left hand is boy. I have no clue what i'm doing but i do check this "elusive pulse" 2 million times day

Girls I need advice. When we first started ttc I felt some confidence that I could handle being a mum, I was also more energetic then. My experience with babies & toddlers was fresh as I'd just spent 2 yrs re-training for a second career as a Montessori teacher, also did lots of babysitting for family in my youth but thats all light years away now. With the whole sordid ttc saga I put all my energy and focus into that & strategising to solve all my fertility issues. It became the outline and the detail of everything i did really. Somewhere along the line I forgot what I was fighting for and my miscarriages crushed that initial confidence.....With no significant involvement with kids of any age over the last few years I feel like I have no clue and won't know what do if this baby actually arrives. Help!! Where do I start? Any books to recommend? I dont even know what I'm supposed to be buying Throw it all at me please!

Peace I know what you mean, but I think like anything else in life it gets here and you just do it! You will have a great combination of instinct, training and crazy appreciation for something you had to wait so long for (even when your little miracle is driving you bonkers!) I have heard "the happiest baby on the block" is a great book but I haven't read it. For what to buy, I've been asking friends that have had babies in the past 2 years what they needed and what was a total waste. The only thing I've really got so far is a diaper stockpile started: but I think that will change when we know gender.

 

[readyformore]

Don't bother with a diaper pail! Gross. They are disgusting and you have to buy the special inserts. I got one with a normal trash bag liner so I didn't have to run out to the store for refills, and it still was pointless. If you leave diapers in there for a day or two, it just smells.
Just stick them in your normal kitchen trash and take it out every night. No big deal.

Fancy diaper bags were pointless too as well as bottle warmers. I never formula fed but my DH would give the baby a bottle while I was at work. A mug of warm water heats the bottle nicely. I HATE highchairs. They get so nasty. With my last child I just put her directly in a booster at the table. Easier to clean and looked nicer in my kitchen. I probably could have done without a baby bath tub and with my first two.......I never needed a crib.

What was helpful that I couldn't live without? For my second and third it was a baby swing. Get a nice baby car seat but keep in mind that they grow super fast and might only be in the little ones for 6 months, so price it out accordingly. If you are going to breastfeed for awhile, a good expensive pump is worth the investment.

I have to add that I wouldn't stock pile too much on anything. My first child broke on into a rash from Pampers brand diapers. I had to give away about 10 bags and bought him Huggies. My second was the same, but the third did ok with either.

 

[peacebaby]

Oooh loving it...that advice is priceless, i was just wondering whether the quality of the pump matters. Thanks Ready!

Jen, whenever I'm having Coke now I think of it helping the swimmers, its like "coke = fast swimmers" I forgot that you were on Clomid too. Coke & Clomid baby!

 

[peacebaby]

Ready did you co-sleep with the first 2?

 

[readyformore]

Ready did you co-sleep with the first 2?

They were in a bassinet at my bedside. Eventually they went to a regular sized mattress directly on the floor. They hated the crib and cried every bloody time I put them in that thing (I said it was expensive decorative furniture). I did co-sleep but only after they were 12 months old. I've since had my eyes opened and wouldn't do the co-sleeping again. It scared my husband to death and he only agreed to have a third child if I promised never to let the baby in our bed. My third never wanted to sleep with us and in fact, she was the earliest to sleep through the night at only 5 months old. I had to move her to her own room and her crib because she didn't want to be cuddled at night. Crazy baby.

If you are going to work and will be separated from baby for several hours every day, an expensive double electric pump is a must or your supply will decrease. If you are going to be a SAHM, (my dream, lol) and only need a pump for a bottle once or twice a week, then an inexpensive hand pump will do.

 

[crystal443]

Ok here's my 2 cents

We all think we're going to suck at parenthood, but somehow it just comes naturally You won't be given an infinite amount of knowledge on delivery day but everyday you have to make different decisions and choices for your baby and you will make the right ones for you and your baby. I don't know how it happens but it does..thankfully I was terrified but when I had to start parenting I became very protective and being a mother just kicked in Peace your such a kind soul you have no worries, your going to be a fabulous mother to your baby

Now call me crazy but I played music and read to both my kids while pregnant and I read them a book everyday from the day I brought them home whether they were sleeping or awake. I think it helped me bond with them and it is supposed to help their brain develop...both my kids are honours and high achievers and I do think this helped maybe it didn't but DH and I aren't exactly brilliant so something worked for them

I has so much sh*t for Brooke, people just bought me things that we didn't need and it just sat there..I agree diaper pails are a waste of money and so are the diaper genies..I had one for Brooke and it does still smell dump the garbage everyday and it'll be fine. I never used a change table either, i always changed them on the sofa or the floor on a change pad and they can only use them for so long before their trying to roll off of it. In my opinion its a waste of money Portable crib, another thing we all buy but rarely use unless you are going to travel alot, if your going to travel then it probably is a good investment

I had baby towels and washclothes for Brooke but used our household ones with JD now a breastpump, I bought an expensive one and ended up not using it because I didn't have a good supply of milk and ended up having to formula feed. Maybe rent one until you figure out if breastfeeding is going to be a for sure thing. I did use baby shampoos, soaps, and I did buy the baby laundry detergent for quite awhile. Brooke was born with exzema and we just used it for both when JD was born

I also started their book collection when I was pregnant for each, they can grow with these where alot of clothing, and even some toys they outgrow so quickly

Now co-sleeping and sleep, this is a touchy subject because we all do different things and at the end of the day its your decision for your own child but I put them in their cots from day 1. They took their naps in their cots, and they went to bed at night in their cots. They still got up the same amount but I do think it helped when it came time for them to sleep through the night. We never co slept with them and I don't know which is best but for us being able to put them to bed in the evening and having a few hours for us was what we needed. I didn't have any help from family or anything so we had the kids all the time so I don't know maybe it was our way of having a little adult time in the evening. I don't think either way is right or wrong and you'll do what you think is best

As for parenting books? honestly you may follow it for a month or two when you have time to sit and read when baby is napping but once the monkey is on the move there's no time to read and you'll do what you want anyway. Ask your doctor if its about your baby's health and anything else ask for opinions on what's worked for other babies

You'll do fine and Jen you'll remember quickly

 

[Bravemom]

Omg omg Now I can stalk you both on here Jennifer how much clomid did you take and when ?i have just finished mine from this month ,100 mg cd1-5 Any tips greatly appreciated ,really love the thread

Yay bmom so glad you're here
I took 50 mg. I was instructed to take it days 5-9, but on the last month I took it 3-7. I did that partly because I searched fertility friend charts for bfps on clomid and I felt like the day 3-7 girls were winning and partly because when we were at the fs and he was talking to us about trying iui he said i would take clomid 3-7. you know, I almost didn't take it that month because I was going to save it for after my laparoscopy. Glad I took it!! And of course don't forget the can of coke Please post on here how it's going! (and get some ibuprofen for the clomid headaches)

Thank you for such a lovely welcome ,Yip I have my coke and macca think I will try cd3-7 next month

 

[peacebaby]

I can see that I'll be reading this thread over & over again...thanks girls thats so helpful.

Bmom...I'm hoping you won't need another month of clomid.

So yesterday I had a reprieve from feeling all day felt a bit human again but it suddenly hit me late last night and its back today

Are you over the MS now Jen?

 

[Bravemom]

I never used a baby bath or a baby basket either ,my babies all slept with me ,and bathed with me ,I also used cloth nappies and I breasted it was easier to feed whilst in bed so I kept them there till they came off the breast ,some stayed a Little bit longer I also used a baby carrier around the house whilst cleaning and cooking dinner

 

[peacebaby]

Went to the hospital for my combined blood screening this afternoon and as I was leaving a lady was coming in to the labour ward...her poor husband was all flustered, they had a long way to walk and she was obviously having contractions, red faced doing the breathing thing and stopping to take sips of water...he kept talking to her, fiddling with the bag etc until she shot him a killer look and told him to be quiet. She looked like in a lot of pain. Holy crap...isn't there an easier way of doing this? There should be an injection or an IV that just sends the baby gushing out.

 

[crystal443]

I imagine, men must be terrified when labour starts Is your DH nervous about things to come?

 

[readyformore]

Went to the hospital for my combined blood screening this afternoon and as I was leaving a lady was coming in to the labour ward...her poor husband was all flustered, they had a long way to walk and she was obviously having contractions, red faced doing the breathing thing and stopping to take sips of water...he kept talking to her, fiddling with the bag etc until she shot him a killer look and told him to be quiet. She looked like in a lot of pain. Holy crap...isn't there an easier way of doing this? There should be an injection or an IV that just sends the baby gushing out.

I totally get the freaking out part. The idea of labor.......well...........


All I can say is that you get a baby out of it.

Also, I forgot that I didn't really use baby towels either. I don't see why people can't just dry the baby in a regular towel. I did like the baby wash cloths though, they are thinner and easier to get into the nooks and crannies.

And baby detergent......... Love that stuff. I had to open a bin of my baby things to pass to someone and I was hit with the scent of their baby detergent. Loved it. It just smells like baby, iykwim.

How long did your babies nurse Bmom?

 

[peacebaby]

Crystal I think he is more than terrified of everything not just the labour bit. Right now he wavers between detachment and getting excited. His main concern is that i get through the danger zone... You should see him on scan days, white as ghost and nervous

Ready, thankfully I can be flexible with what I do and I'm free during the summer months when universities are closed. Will probably work more from home as we have zero support network here. My family are all in South Africa, wish I had my mom here. DH has a very small family and they're not really up to taking care of kids. BF is my first choice but of course if it doesn't work, formula it will be. My sister was 2months preemie so my mom spent hours expressing and then drove to the hospital 2x day. They also formula fed to get her weight up quicker. I was 7yrs old (yes it took 5yrs of ttc no.2) and I remember that pump very well!

Jen what's your antenatal/birth system like there? Here we only see midwives and they do the delivery as well unless its a C-section. You only see an OB if like me you're considered at risk. They also push for more home births or birthing centre labours where you can't have an epidural. Gas & air are the main pain relievers they use.