March Mamas 2012 Baby Group (Closed Group)

[wondertwins]

Oh, Loo, that is really tragic. It does put things into perspective, but it doesn't make it any easier to know how to respond. TBH, there really is nothing to say other than "I'm so so sorry, and I am here for you if you need anything."

You may remember from a few months ago that some LTTC friends of ours lost a pregnancy at 24 weeks. It was really tough, and they are pretty much not talking to us right now. They are both over 40 and feeling pretty depressed about it. Their not talking to us is not a mean spirited thing. They are just very sad. I continue to gently reach out to them, but I think the only thing we can do for them is give them space to grieve while also letting them know we're available if/when they want us to be.

 

[waula]

Gosh Loo... Your poor poor friends. Everything in perspective hey.big hugs to you three too and have a cuddled up night everyone, we are all the luckiest people to be able to enjoy motherhood and family life. Xxx

 

[citymouse]

Oh, Loo, that's so terrible and so sad. I'm so sorry for your friends.

Sometimes I wish I could just carry G around and never set her down. She is so precious to me. I can't even begin to imagine losing a newborn. How devastating.

 

[waula]

Mouse I completely agree. Xx

 

[Glowstar]

Loo - sorry I have just read your really sad news. I don't even know what to say so very tragic and sad.
Like you have said and everyone else here it does make you thankful that we have healthy babies.

 

[Sillysmiles]

So sorry about your friends loss Loo. It is very sad.

 

[MsCrow]

Hey Loo, I'm so sorry. All you can do is keep reminding them gently that you are there but don't be offended if they avoid you and Dharma for now. When my friend lost her daughter at 38 weeks she found it hard to cope with the fact that after the initial sorrow, people felt she should move on. She'd had photos taken of her daughter so when the initial rush of grief had passed I laminated some of the photos for her. She never forgot this. It's just the small gestures that matter.

Things are pretty shite here. E is having a particularly crappy time sleeping, she's now waking at 11:30ish, 2:30ish and is often awake for a few hours, and then whatever. The bedtime feed is a battleground that has me walking out and crying. The two hours in the night, whilst she is quite chipper and awake, have me getting angry and in tears downstairs. I'm exhausted. I can't keep doing this. She isn't napping during the day at the moment.

I got her weighed and she's 16lbs 15oz up from 15lbs 3oz a month ago. The nurse just about said E was too heavy, gaining too quickly and could do with moving about more. I almost walked off and cried.

 

[wondertwins]

I got her weighed and she's 16lbs 15oz up from 15lbs 3oz a month ago. The nurse just about said E was too heavy, gaining too quickly and could do with moving about more. I almost walked off and cried.

We always find something to worry about... either too big, too small, too sleepy, too alert. Sheesh it's tough to be a mommy.

Have you considered some sleep training? I know everyone has to wait until they're personally ready, but it has been really helpful with the twins. And just yesterday, the Journal of Pediatrics announced a new article finding that controlled crying and camping out are safe for babies and cause no psychological harm. And the psychological benefits of a well-rested mummy shouldn't be discounted. Here are a couple summaries of the article: https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/1691391/Controlled-crying-safe-for-babies and https://www.cnn.com/2012/09/10/health/sleepless-infants-mom-depressed/index.html?iref=allsearch.

 

[MsCrow]

Thanks.

I feel there are too many variables to consider adding another dimension. New room/bed, weaning, potential development week. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I just want to run away. She's upstairs not sleeping. I have to take her to a meeting in an hour.

 

[lozza1uk]

Jeez MsC - that sounds like a load of crap from the nurse. Having seen E only last week she looks a perfect weight, and the only baby more active than her was Z!! But we all know he's a bit weird. E also seemed no different from the antenatal group of babies I'm in with. I'm angry on your behalf! Also she's put on in a month what Z just put on in 2 weeks (catching up from a slow gain the previous time). So that doesn't seem abnormal.

Caveat to above - unless she's gained 3 chins since Thursday.

Wt - thanks for the link, off to read it.

We definitely have the tip of a tooth sticking through!

Oh, and this morning (to cheer you all up) we had the largest poonami ever. Made more difficult to clear up by the fact he won't lie still. In the end I had to wrap him in the changing mat (I didn't dare touch him ) and plonk him in the shower. He seemed to love his first shower, except he wanted to drink it!!!

 

[waula]

MsC please ignore the knob of a nurse. E is fabulous. You can't make them move (and she's sooo way more mobile than the slugs). She's perfect. You're doing a fabulous job. Repeat... N is feeding all over the place too...he's been up 2/3 times past couple of nights. I'm really sorry you're having a tough time. Do you remember those early bf-ing days? Look how far we've come. Massive hugs xxx

Lozza that sounds utterly rank. But very funny! Yet another benefit of the slug stage...

 

[wondertwins]

Absolutely nasty, Lozza. But very clever of you to use the changing mat as a shield for yourself. As for drinking the shower water... my boys like to do that too. It's our version of BLW.

MsC- Sounds like a lot going on at once. I'm sure she will settle back into her sleepy self before long.

 

[emera35]

Lozza, if it gets too much chuck 'em in the shower! Good call!

MsC, that nurse is clearly a total asshat. E is a lovely weight and right smack in the middle of the charts. Any HCP who doesn't take into account that babies grow in spurts needs to be slapped in my opinion! E looks just perfect from all the pctures I've seen! Xxx

 

[citymouse]

MsC, sorry the nurse upset you. And sorry E's being a Duracell Bunny baby. Isn't she right in the middle of another wonder week phase?

Lozza, a tooth! How exciting!

Just dealing with G's digestive stuff. This morning she had the worst poops since I went off gluten. Called the doctor and looked at her teething tablets and they contain belladonna, so he told us to stop using those. Also stopping the rice cereal. And some meat I ate yesterday was made on equipment shared with soy, so it could be from that.

I'm cutting my food variety way back to see if that can at least give us a baseline. And giving her some formula today to see if that resets her system a little. Must go pump and dump.

I've started taking pictures of all her diapers. Woe betide the person who tries to look through the photos on my phone, lol.

 

[emera35]

Yikes, Mouse, that's soo restrictive! Hopefully all this is just going to be infant sensitivity and G will outgrow it all. Is she growing well? Sorry to ask i can't remember that part, just that you have these problem poos.
It would be a massive hassle, but just for the look of horror, i'd love for someone to steal your phone! (then obviously be videoed looking through it and that video sent to me...ok, maybe it will work better me just imagining it happening and giggling!!)

Ergh i'm past being upset and i'm now pretty annoyed about that silly woman at playgroup. What a silly thoughtless thing for her to say! My nose is flipping killing me mind you, it has a bruise right across it.

 

[citymouse]

She was, Emera, until August. She only gained 9 ounces and 1/2 inch and she should have gained more like a pound (not sure how much height). She fell down a line on the weight chart to 25th % (she had been 40th since birth). And that included two weeks when she was eating every two hours during the day.

She wasn't into the formula (only took 3 oz) so I went ahead and breastfed her. Maybe I'll do a mix today and see if things improve.

It's so nuts! It's all I can think about, but I need to get to work.

And yes, that stupid cow... I can't believe someone would say that. Considering especially that it takes experts multiple rounds of testing to place a child on the autism spectrum, it's completely insensitive and stupid of her in general to go around "diagnosing" other people's kids... especially 2-year-olds who are just being 2-year-olds!

 

[waula]

Mouse that's pretty mental. And you do make me feel pretty ridiculous as DH just ate the last truffle which made me mad...and there's you on a hideous exclusion diet. Must go and apologise to him! Not surprised its all you think about. Are you or DH allergic types?
Emera... I'm so angry on your behalf. And I think it's completely normal for 2yr olds to do that sort of thing (and mummies to cry!)...and probably better it was aimed at you and not F!! Hope you feel better in the morning
Hope msC is ok. And Vitfa. And loo. Thinking of you all xxx

 

[citymouse]

I never had any food allergies... DH was allergic to eggs for many years but outgrew it at some point as an adult.

 

[emera35]

Gaah, can't believe i cried! I'm sooo not a cry-ee person, not in public anyway!! I hate that! Also can't believe i was looking up early signs of autism and adhd this evening too...Damn, must not let these things get to me. No, Roh is just clever and bright and 2 years old. I hate that someone i don't care about has managed to undermine my confidence, even though i'm totally aware of it. Bleugh!

 

[waula]

emera xxxx
Hungry mouse... Hope she grows out of it ASAP!!!