Okay, lads. I have one of those stories that is only appropriate for the anonymity of BnB.
As you know... DH and I celebrated our anniversary yesterday. Awww.
In order to consummate 366 days of wedded bliss (or rather 366 days of not killing each other) we carved out some time for
. I even took the time to shave and wear something lacy. Ooo la la. DH really wanted me to pull out the massage oils, of which we have quite a collection from back in the day when we actually had time for things like massages. Anyhoo... I grabbed a small bottle of what I thought was innocent massage oil. The label had come off, so I didn't realize that I had actually grabbed a bottle of K-Y Touch Warming Oil. At first it didn't seem like a big deal as DH was kissing me and massaging my thighs lovingly.
Well.... uhm.... fast forward a bit and yadda yadda yadda, that shit is HOT! Lava hot. Normal people would have stopped. But we knew that if we didn't take advantage of the moment, it might be awhile before our schedules aligned again. So, we kept going. We were both hot, and not in a good way, but refusing to stop until the job was done. It was all so ridiculous that we started giggling during the deed, trying to pass it off as sexy talk. Once it was all said and done, I laid back and said "my foof is on FIRE". Of course DH doesn't know what a foof is which made it even more hilarious to me. I'm glad my husband has a sense of humor.
Moral of the story: warming massage oils do not feel nice when they make their way to your sensitive bits. Fiery foofs are not sexy.
Of course I'd have probably gone the old school route rather than the KOL route. "The foof, the foof, the foof is on fiiire." 
