~*May Miracles 2020*~

[cnote]

Got a ton of exercise today...cleaned the house inside out (again), ran errands and went for a long walk. Also ate a bunch of mango because I read that can help soften the cervix. Feelings lots of strong BH at the moment...crossing fingers I make some progress soon. Hope you ladies had a nice day (assuming most of you are asleep since you’re hours ahead of me!)

 

[Jary]

Ahh it must have felt good to clean! I've had a fairly decent sleep but still woke up with crampy pains. I don't know why they only seem to happen at night. I felt pretty calm yesterday which was a massive swing from the day before with me being so emotional.

Baby is due tomorrow lol and I see my midwife then too. I was hoping I wouldn't need to go to this appointment but I guess i get to see her again!

I feel like at this rate, I'm going to be the last one in this group to give birth!! Hahaha

 

[Jary]

Also this morning I was laying in bed and baby felt like she was swinging her head back and forth or side to side in my pelvis. I really want to think she's helping my cervix get ready but it was a really odd feeling!

 

[cnote]

Ahh it must have felt good to clean! I've had a fairly decent sleep but still woke up with crampy pains. I don't know why they only seem to happen at night. I felt pretty calm yesterday which was a massive swing from the day before with me being so emotional.

Baby is due tomorrow lol and I see my midwife then too. I was hoping I wouldn't need to go to this appointment but I guess i get to see her again!

I feel like at this rate, I'm going to be the last one in this group to give birth!! Hahaha

I feel the same way Jary! I saw my doc for the 40 week appt (my hospital has my due date as yesterday!) last week and said to her there’s no way I’ll make it to May 11, my induction date. Now I don’t know!

However I am having regular contractions right now for the last two hours. They’re pretty mild but more intense than the Braxton Hicks I’ve had till this point. I’ve alerted the husband to be prepared, but I don’t know which way it’ll go. Might be a long night.

 

[kittykat7210]

Jary I can nearly guarantee you won’t be the last to give birth in this group, my due date is 3 weeks after yours and even my braxton hicks have stopped now! I feel like I’m destined to go over with this one at the moment, despite nearly having her early!

 

[Jary]

Well now its my turn to clean! It's funny that Monday I was a total sobbing mess, yesterday calm and chilled and just relaxed. Today I'm like nope, must clean and tidy and go for a walk! My feet are not loving my active state tho!!

And lol I think if I left it up to baby she would be a June baby. Just far too happy in my tummy!!

 

[Bloblo]

Also this morning I was laying in bed and baby felt like she was swinging her head back and forth or side to side in my pelvis. I really want to think she's helping my cervix get ready but it was a really odd feeling!

That sounds odd indeed, my skin is crawling just imagining it
I also feel like I will be pregnant forever... wish my ob didn't tell me that I was 3cm dilated (a week ago), I was fine with going overdue and just pretty happy living life... now i am 39w and I am desperately looking for any labour signs and I feel like half of them are imagined and I am just losing my mind...

 

[missielibra]

Altho little bub is out, I've been told to expect him since 32 weeks hahaha. So it was a long 5weeks with a lot of fizzle in and out!
But it did happen in the end! So I've got my FX for all of you. I cannot wait to see all the cute faces!

Ive got all of you on baby watch.

I agree Blo, when she said 4cm I was like OH so TODAY and then it wasnt and it messed me up, even though I had been thrilleeeeed to make it so far

 

[Jary]

Haha I've never felt it before but I was laying there like wtf is she doing?! Wasn't painful or anything. I just hope it's her getting ready for departure.

 

[Bloblo]

Im having really intense vaginal pressure. It's ok (but uncomfortable) when I am lying down. If I am standing it is super painful. Like her head is right there, forcing my hips open... I dunno, haven't had any contractions recently, but maybe she moved down? I can't really walk. I was bouncing on my ball during breakfast this morning, so maybe that caused it... I never got to this point of vaginal pressure during my previous pregnancy, maybe it means that my muscles never really healed... I'm over this now, don't want to just lie around and wait and I can't even walk to the bathroom without crying... bleh

 

[Jary]

Im having really intense vaginal pressure. It's ok (but uncomfortable) when I am lying down. If I am standing it is super painful. Like her head is right there, forcing my hips open... I dunno, haven't had any contractions recently, but maybe she moved down? I can't really walk. I was bouncing on my ball during breakfast this morning, so maybe that caused it... I never got to this point of vaginal pressure during my previous pregnancy, maybe it means that my muscles never really healed... I'm over this now, don't want to just lie around and wait and I can't even walk to the bathroom without crying... bleh

Ugh I feel you. I've been doing housework this morning and my back is seizing up. It's so hard to move now!

Im having a sit down with my feet up to help swelling to rest a bit after my housework, then I'll have something to eat and then go for a walk. I don't think DD is very pleased at that plan tho lol

 

[elliecain]

I should be feeling excited and happy right now. It’s my turn in around 12 hours.

But I feel cold dread. I can’t stop crying and I feel like I’m about to be subjected to some awful torture. This is not right. Not at all.

 

[Bloblo]

I should be feeling excited and happy right now. It’s my turn in around 12 hours.

But I feel cold dread. I can’t stop crying and I feel like I’m about to be subjected to some awful torture. This is not right. Not at all.

Hugs momma
If you feel this strongly against it, is there any way to still back out or reschedule your section?

 

[Jary]

I should be feeling excited and happy right now. It’s my turn in around 12 hours.

But I feel cold dread. I can’t stop crying and I feel like I’m about to be subjected to some awful torture. This is not right. Not at all.

Ellie maybe delay the section until next week as your plan b? If thus doesn't feel right then don't go ahead. I know there's reasons for it happening tomorrow with the section but you still have options and it sounds like everyone around you will support you no matter what!

 

[elliecain]

At the moment, my plan is to go there in the morning, but I can back out at any point until they make the first incision. I honestly don’t see me going through with it.
I am just praying for a miracle... they do a scan before they take me to theatre and I’m hoping the baby is magically cephalic by then.

 

[kittykat7210]

Ellie I think you’ll be sad if you do this. Reading your comments and posts over the last 24 hours, here and FB, I really think mentally you’re not prepared for the c section, and as much as if it were me I’d get the section I personally think it’s the wrong decision for you. If you move it to next week, not only do you give yourself more time to mentally accept it, but you also know for a fact you tried as hard as you could and did everything reasonably possible to have the birth that you want. I don’t think you’re at that place yet and I think PPD would be a real risk if you went down the c section tomorrow route.

 

[elliecain]

I had a long chat with my sister in law and something became apparent to me that has really helped me to feel slightly better about tomorrow.
My anxiety right now is not actually about the breech or the c section. It’s about covid. Just like all of you, I’m living in a state of high alert. Everything is wrong in the world and we are totally unsettled. My subconscious has latched onto the breech/c section situation as a reason for the way I feel. I’ve become totally obsessed with it. But by accepting that I am actually feeling this way because of covid and that is not something I have any control over AND NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE, I can start to let go of the feelings I have about the birth.
This virus is all kinds of fucked up. Being pregnant during this is really really horrible. We are all dealing with anxieties and stressors that are not compatible with pregnancy and childbirth.
I feel much better after the talk with Tanzi. Now I just need to get excited. This time tomorrow, I’ll be holding my tiny baby in my arms and that is a joyful thing.

 

[kittykat7210]

I’m glad you’re feeling better Ellie, I hope you don’t think I overstepped with my comment

 

[Bloblo]

I am so glad that you have someone to talk to. And that you were able to really get to the root of the anxiety. You've got this!

 

[elliecain]

I’m glad you’re feeling better Ellie, I hope you don’t think I overstepped with my comment

Of course not. I was at breaking point earlier and it would not have been the right thing to do if I had stayed there. I may still crack again tomorrow. Thank you xx