MAY we all be blessed with baby! May 2013 and beyond (BFFs Seeking BFPs)

[pathos]

clandestine, I really like the term you coined. STC - that's I how I felt. I hope this phase will soon be a relic of the past for all of the ladies here.

 

[mummy2o]

Your pregnancy seems to be flying by pathos!

Hopeful I'm sorry. It must be terrible this time of year. Thankfully you have an amazing husband supporting you. Hopefully you'll get some great results which will cheer you up some what.

Prowife, Clandepedia and Lazydaisie I really would love to see you all get your BFP the same month and all be bump buddies, that would be great.

Momwithbabies, I actually find the TWW the most boring part. I second guess something and sometimes convince myself I'm pregnant, which is worse when AF shows. I have only really started that this cycle again, which really isn't good for my health!

AFM this seems to be one of my longest LP. Currently going into 11 dpo and no AF. I'm debating if my period will be here before Tuesday when its due, but that really would be a long LP for me. Who knows. Maybe having a baby has sorted out my cycle.

 

[kksy9b]

Hopeful- thinking and praying for you and your husband today as you remember your sweet Emma. There are no words and I cannot imagine how difficult it will be for you. Sending every good and positive thought your way along with a hundred virtual hugs.

 

[ProfWife]

I am taking the month off unless my doc wants me to try something new. We are going to be out of town during the fertile window; so this month might be a wash anyway.

I'm going to ask for either letrozole or Clomid for July since I'll be monitored anyway unless he wants to see what is going on naturally before medicating me.

 

[River54]

Update - I had 8 eggs retrieved. Of those 8, 7 fertilized and made it to day 3. 4 have now compacted at day 4, one of the others may compact soon, but the other 2 haven't done much since yesterday (still at 6 and 7 cells).
Transfer scheduled for tomorrow, where we'll pick the best one.

Seems the DHEA and CoQ10 have done their jobs. Last IVF, I had 8 collected, but only 4 fertilized and 3 made it to day 3, it was a bfn cycle.

 

[RaeChay]

Yay, River!! Excited for you

 

[ProfWife]

River - Great news!

AFM - CD 2. Had my followup with my doc. Thyroid is fine overall in his opinion.

So, he wants to put me on Clomid (I may still push for Femara) for my August cycle - after my ultrasound series. I could start the month of the ultrasound series, but I'm still holding out hope that God will give us a miracle and we won't need the drugs.

 

[athena87]

Profwife I know my situation was different when ttc or stc as clandestine put it, since I didn't ovulate on my own, but I was dead set on getting pregnant on my own naturally. After I hit the year mark I realized it wasn't going to happen, I think I ovulated 3 times in a whole year. So I decided to give the Clomid a shot. My 4th round which was 100 mg was my bfp cycle. We had just hit a year and a half ttc. I know you ovulate, but if your eggs aren't growing to full potential Clomid can give them the boost to fully mature and the cycle we conceived I ovulated from both ovaries. I just think you shouldn't write it off. Femara doesn't work for everyone, my friend didn't ovulate at all when on it, but another friend got a bfp after 6 cycles of Clomid and then switching to femara.

 

[mummy2o]

Yay river.

I hope you'll get your natural BFP prowife.

 

[Hopeful2014]

@ProfWife I hope you all see those two lines soon.

@ClandestineTX Sometimes I have to work hard to motivate myself to get up and walk. But I always feel better once I do. I've slacked the past two days, but they have really been hard days. I hope to get back on track. I'll let you know what the tests are once I meet with the doctor and specialist. I'm really starting to wonder how rare it is!?!? I'm still very hopeful for you and can't wait to celebrate your BFP.

@mummy2o Thanks.

@kksy9b Thank you so much. You are so kind to remember. I really appreciate this.

@River54 Good luck! I hope this is the one!

AFM This week has been hard. These months have been hard. Emma was due yesterday. I would have to imagine everyone in the world would know that this time would be hard. I can't imagine why anyone would want to make it worse. I started suspecting that my sister-in-law was pregnant (with her fourth) two weeks after the funeral and the Facebook posts kept hinting about it for months now. My stomach dropped the first time I read it. I hid my suspicions from my husband for a while until I was certain. It made me sick to think that she could have been at the hospital during the days and seen everything that she did and was able to go home and do that either during the week of the loss and hospital stay or during the week of the planning and funeral. (Let me say I wasn't entirely surprised because she has a past of questionable decisions. This is only one example of how it's been over time.) Anyway we have known for a while, but we didn't say anything to anyone because we don't want to talk about it. She decided that this would be the best week to tell us. She hounded us with texts about needing to talk on Tuesday and then when we didn't respond she had her mother tell us. Yes, this was one day before I should have been holding my sweet Emma. Why? Why would her mother even go along with this idea? How could they not understand or care? How can I ever forgive them? How can I ever look at that child and not think about how painful it is? I feel like my lifelines have been cut. I don't even want to be around them. I feel so bad for my husband because this hurts him too and he is in the middle of it as well.

 

[ProfWife]

@Hopeful - Good Mercy. They should have realized. There's no way around it. They should have known your due date. They should have known when calls weren't being answered that you were going through a very rough time and needed space and comfort. They really, certainly, should have done more. I can understand how you and your husband both feel this loss of both sweet Emma and the lack of compassion of those who should be most in-tune with the loss - family. While it's true that everyone grieves differently, the compassion and focus should really be on the parents who wanted this child so much and had to give her back to God far too early. My heart just breaks knowing that you've gone through this - and that while the freshness will go away, there's no erasing or minimizing the pain of the loss of a child. Ever.


@Athena - I'll be starting out at a fairly low dose with Clomid. I'd prefer Femara due to the quick nature of it in being released from the body. My doc seems to think Clomid would be better in my case because it works well the cycle it's taken but appears to hold a powerful effect over the next cycle, too. My only worry is that it's only supposed to be taken for 4-6 consecutive months. We want to do IUI in late fall if we're still not pregnant (October/November). If I do too many natural cycles on Clomid, I won't be able to do that.

 

[ClandestineTX]

...AFM - CD 2. Had my followup with my doc. Thyroid is fine overall in his opinion.

So, he wants to put me on Clomid (I may still push for Femara) for my August cycle - after my ultrasound series. I could start the month of the ultrasound series, but I'm still holding out hope that God will give us a miracle and we won't need the drugs.

...I'll be starting out at a fairly low dose with Clomid. I'd prefer Femara due to the quick nature of it in being released from the body. My doc seems to think Clomid would be better in my case because it works well the cycle it's taken but appears to hold a powerful effect over the next cycle, too. My only worry is that it's only supposed to be taken for 4-6 consecutive months. We want to do IUI in late fall if we're still not pregnant (October/November). If I do too many natural cycles on Clomid, I won't be able to do that.

A good thyroid is great news, BTW!

Some docs have a Clomid-bias because it's the intended purpose of the medication and has been around longer (30-40 years, versus off-label use of letrozole/Femara for O induction is right around 10-15). Both medications will induce ovulation in most women, if the dose is appropriate. A lot of docs will start with Clomid and if the person has a really thin lining, other side effects or poor response, will switch them to Femara. Go with your doc's plan, as long as you feel like it's working. I know you well enough to know that you will ask questions or push for a different plan if you have doubts. I will keep my FX for you!

Update - I had 8 eggs retrieved. Of those 8, 7 fertilized and made it to day 3. 4 have now compacted at day 4, one of the others may compact soon, but the other 2 haven't done much since yesterday (still at 6 and 7 cells).
Transfer scheduled for tomorrow, where we'll pick the best one.

Seems the DHEA and CoQ10 have done their jobs. Last IVF, I had 8 collected, but only 4 fertilized and 3 made it to day 3, it was a bfn cycle.

YAY!!!!!! to you!!!!!

...@ClandestineTX Sometimes I have to work hard to motivate myself to get up and walk. But I always feel better once I do. I've slacked the past two days, but they have really been hard days. I hope to get back on track. I'll let you know what the tests are once I meet with the doctor and specialist. I'm really starting to wonder how rare it is!?!? I'm still very hopeful for you and can't wait to celebrate your BFP.

AFM This week has been hard. These months have been hard. Emma was due yesterday. I would have to imagine everyone in the world would know that this time would be hard. I can't imagine why anyone would want to make it worse. I started suspecting that my sister-in-law was pregnant (with her fourth) two weeks after the funeral and the Facebook posts kept hinting about it for months now. My stomach dropped the first time I read it. I hid my suspicions from my husband for a while until I was certain. It made me sick to think that she could have been at the hospital during the days and seen everything that she did and was able to go home and do that either during the week of the loss and hospital stay or during the week of the planning and funeral. (Let me say I wasn't entirely surprised because she has a past of questionable decisions. This is only one example of how it's been over time.) Anyway we have known for a while, but we didn't say anything to anyone because we don't want to talk about it. She decided that this would be the best week to tell us. She hounded us with texts about needing to talk on Tuesday and then when we didn't respond she had her mother tell us. Yes, this was one day before I should have been holding my sweet Emma. Why? Why would her mother even go along with this idea? How could they not understand or care? How can I ever forgive them? How can I ever look at that child and not think about how painful it is? I feel like my lifelines have been cut. I don't even want to be around them. I feel so bad for my husband because this hurts him too and he is in the middle of it as well.

Definitely keep me posted on the tests! I agree with you about motivation is the hardest place to start with walking, but it does get better. I have been super tired this week, hoping after catching up on sleep that I get more walking in.

Your SIL... Oh, my. I will tell you some people do feel the need to have sex (really just an expression of being alive/ intimacy) when they are around death and dying. It's just one of many possible (and weirdly enough normal) responses to grief - so try to let that part go.

The part where she hunted you down to tell you about her pregnancy this week just makes her an asshole. I have a lot of other words for her, where some ladies are too polite to find one or more, but will keep them off the public page.

If you can - try to focus on finding peace in your own mind, knowing that you are almost her polar opposite. I can't help you much with faith in God, but from Karma's standpoint - you do deserve to have a happy life, with a wonderful baby in it. And I really do believe they will sort you out and get your on your way to it soon.

 

[ClandestineTX]

And I completely forgot my own update!

I will start the progesterone before bed tonight, as some ladies get dizzy or really tired after taking it (some as soon as 20 minutes after taking it). And we will just see how this cycle plays out. Definitely no excitement about my temps/ chart after today, as the progesterone will likely make them look more impressive than they are.

 

[kksy9b]

Hopeful- wow...no words. I can't believe she did that to you and your husband. I am so sorry that this impossibly difficult time has been made so much worse by someone who is supposed to love and care for you. I hope that in time you are able to tell her how badly she has hurt you ( for your sake not hers). It is not worth it to hold onto a fridge or that hurt because it will only stress and harm you. Know that we are always here for you Hopeful to vent to and offer support and encouragement.

 

[newbie2013]

Hopeful, I second Clandestine's apt description of your SIL. I said many of her other words as I read your post.

Thinking of you and your husband and sending you virtual hugs.

Will reply more thoroughly this weekend.

 

[Lazydaisys]

Hopeful, that is extremely bad timing in their part. I'm sure they could have waited((((( big hugs to you xxxxxxx

 

[momwithbabies]

Hopeful: I have no clue why she would act this way. My only explanation is that she doesn't understand the pain of losing a child, and simply put, she's ignorant towards other people and their feelings. Nevertheless, there are no excuses that make what she did okay. I'm so sorry she hurt you and your husband. I pray that God is with you during this tragedy.

 

[athena87]

Hopeful I am so sorry that she acted like that. I hope you do talk to her about how it has affected you. I think that it would be good for you to get it out. Sending hugs to you.

 

[RaeChay]

Hopeful -
Wow!! I'm trying to even imagine why someone would ever feel compelled to act the way your SIL did!? The only thing I can come up with is *maybe* (and this is in NO way meant to excuse her deplorable actions) but maybe she thought that she was going to make sure you heard it from her first, instead of through the grapevine? Which, if you ask me, isn't really something that would make it less painful anyways (especially given the terrible timing) but I think some people think that's a better way of finding things out? I don't know. That is the only thing I can come up with in the way of trying to understand someone acting that way...outside of them just being a complete and total a**hole. I'm so sorry she did that to you. And commissioning your MIL to tell you instead? WTH? I mean at least your MIL should have more sense. It's too bad you can't pick (or un-pick) family.

One thing that has been frustrating for me, post-loss, is that it seems like the people in your life (even the ones closest to you) seem to sort of forget, after what they perceive to be "the worst" is over. Like after the first 2-3 months, it still felt so fresh to me - it still does. But certain family and friends were so past it...it felt sort of disorienting, or disjointed. Even the change of the season, from cold to warm...I felt like I was still stuck in winter, and not ready.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that the loss is still happening for me, as I know it is for you, every day. Unfortunately, there are not going to be a lot of people in your life that understand the basic encompassing nature of that. And it sucks, a lot. I hope you have some people in your life that can understand that simple fact, and that you stick close to them. I hope it gets easier for you as these days after Emma's due date pass, and that the pain lifts. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself.

On a lighter note. I'm pretty sure the guy who lives in the 4500 sq foot mansion in my backyard is married to a bunch of sister wives, as I have now seen 4 different women in the backyard with 3 different children over the course of the past six months. Food for thought. lol.

 

[mummy2o]

I agree what the others said. It was really bad timing on her front. I also tend to block people on facebook if they got pregnant after my miscarriage. Although that is not the same as what your going through. I wish they had just left you alone though at least for a couple more weeks, and although the blow would still hurt it wouldn't be as bad. How is your husband taking it all? I know it can't be easy for him either.