MAY we all be blessed with baby! May 2013 and beyond (BFFs Seeking BFPs)

[momwithbabies]

momwithbabies - going to wait until the weekend to test?

We just got back from vacation in the mountains. I was getting worried as I wasn't seeing the progression of opks. However, on our way there and the day after we arrived, BOOM, DARK opks. So, it likely happened over the weekend away. Now, we wait. I go back to work next week for pre-planning, AND hubby is out of town for a work trip. So, he'll be out of town when I'm testing. I ordered my online cheapies to test. I'm saving my ClearBlue digital for confirmation.

Crossing fingers for a vacation baby!

I'm happy that you ovulated! That always makes you feel better to know there is a chance. I hope you get that vacation baby!

AFM: I will not be testing unless I'm a week late. Since I have no confirmed ovulation, I'm not holding on to much hope. Plus, there's a lot of issues going on right now that may mean we are done with our baby dreams. I'm sad, which is probably my PMS, but I'll write about it later. My phone is driving me nuts.

 

[momwithbabies]

I'm writing this because I need to vent. I am not asking for pity, I just need to write something. Maybe a journal is a good idea.

My husband is going back on his anxiety medication He feels defeated about it. He hates the idea of being on meds the rest of his life. He was doing so well without it, then his work triggered it again. It makes me sad to see my husband freaking out over irrational fears, as it is paralyzing. He doesn't want to go back to work because he can't handle the stress right now. He was crying in my arms the other day. It breaks my heart, and I pray the medicine will help again.

The medicine is $600 every 3 months!!! Our finances are hanging on a thread. He is going to call the doctor and see if there are any other options. We can't afford that right now. But he has to get treatment.

The medicine affects TTC tremendously. He has a very low libido when he is on it. It's been so nice this last 6 months or so because he wanted me again. I know that is selfish, but I love being intimate with him. And the medicine makes it hard for him to ejaculate, which of course affects TTC.

He is calling the doctor tomorrow to schedule an appointment. He's already taking his left over Cymbalta. TTC may have to be let go for a while...possibly forever. Fate might have just taken us a different way. With our finances in the toilet and my husband's sanity hanging on a thread, I am sad to say I have no idea what we are going to do. It will all work out, I'm sure. It's just hard to see the light right now.

 

[RaeChay]

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[momwithbabies]

MWB- so sorry that you're going through this stuff when your husband talks to his doctor, make sure he mentions about his libido taking a hit when he's on the anxiety medication. There are certain meds that can be taken with anxiety meds that can reverse this very common side effect.

Also - there are SO MANY anxiety medications out there. Is there a reason he can't be on a generic med? I was on prozac for about a year and I think it was like, $4 at walmart.

I hope your husband gets to feeling better about work soon. And that you get the meds figured out in a way that doesn't affect your ttc.

Also - any chance he'd consider counseling? Instead of the meds? Or a change in diet and exercise?

FX for you guys.

I'll be sure to tell my husband that. Thank you, RaeChay! I don't think there is a reason why he can't be on a generic. And I have no idea why Cymbalta was tried first (I guess it works well for this). $4 at Walmart sounds like more our speed. I can't believe they charge people that kind of money for something they need. But Cymbalta worked really well for him. Hopefully he can find a generic or something that works really well. And with no effect on his sex drive.

He hasn't been told about any other treatment options. I'll tell him to ask. My husband's anxiety is so bad, he probably wants something that will work quick. But it's maybe something to look at. I'm making sure he calls tomorrow.

 

[ProfWife]

A lot of people are on anti-anxiety meds until counseling can help. A two-pronged approach for a quick relief followed by actual coping then careful weaning off the medication is often a great approach. My father is to the point where he can take his anti-anxiety only as needed, but takes meds for depression daily.

Are both of you insured through your employers? I can't believe that with insurance it should cost so much. I'm sure a lower-cost alternative can be arranged or prescribed.

As far as the side effects go, there are certainly other things that can be done to combat low-libido and the ejaculation issues. They just need to be discussed - either with your doctor or his.

Overall, it is not a lost cause. Please don't get down. Tackle one issue at a time.
Is there any chance that he could change jobs? If this one is so incredibly hard on him stress-wise, perhaps a change of job would be better than even meds or counseling.

 

[newbie2013]

MWB, I agree with profwife in that your concerns (and his) about the medicine need to be discussed with each other and with a doctor - as profwife said, his or yours. I hope that you can work through to find a way forward that is good for all scenarios - your husband's mental health, the physical side effects of the medicine and your ttc efforts.

My DH is on anti-depressants, which he hates and would love to come off, but if he even forgets for a day, he starts feeling awful and takes him a few days back on to get the imbalance corrected. Last year (or was it two years ago?? Can't remember), he decided to drop his dose in half as a compromise to coming off it all together. Unfortunately, he did it on his own, without consultation with his doc (also unfortunately, drugs like that are available here without prescription, so he could do such a thing). It took him a LONG time to get settled on the new dose but I know his ultimate aim is to drop it all together.

I firmly believe that counseling would help him greatly, but there is no way he'd go for it. I recall broaching the subject quite a few years ago and it was vetoed on the spot without discussion. I've raised it a few times since with similar responses. I hope your DH doesn't have such an adverse reaction to see if that would help him.

I have my fingers crossed that his doc has an alternative that is both cheaper and alleviates those unwanted symptoms.

Thinking about you

 

[momwithbabies]

A lot of people are on anti-anxiety meds until counseling can help. A two-pronged approach for a quick relief followed by actual coping then careful weaning off the medication is often a great approach. My father is to the point where he can take his anti-anxiety only as needed, but takes meds for depression daily.

Are both of you insured through your employers? I can't believe that with insurance it should cost so much. I'm sure a lower-cost alternative can be arranged or prescribed.

As far as the side effects go, there are certainly other things that can be done to combat low-libido and the ejaculation issues. They just need to be discussed - either with your doctor or his.

Overall, it is not a lost cause. Please don't get down. Tackle one issue at a time.
Is there any chance that he could change jobs? If this one is so incredibly hard on him stress-wise, perhaps a change of job would be better than even meds or counseling.

We have insurance through his employer. It's great for preventative care, but stinks when someone gets sick or something happens. We don't pay any premiums. I've mentioned quite a few times that he might should change jobs. Maybe something less stressful is available within the company. Or even he can get a completely new job. He said we can't afford it right now, which is true. But I told him we could sell the house if we needed to. He refused to look at that option right now, but I told him nothing is worth as much as his health.

I'm not sure if he's too keen on counseling as he's a very private person. I'll bring it up and see what he says.

 

[momwithbabies]

MWB, I agree with profwife in that your concerns (and his) about the medicine need to be discussed with each other and with a doctor - as profwife said, his or yours. I hope that you can work through to find a way forward that is good for all scenarios - your husband's mental health, the physical side effects of the medicine and your ttc efforts.

My DH is on anti-depressants, which he hates and would love to come off, but if he even forgets for a day, he starts feeling awful and takes him a few days back on to get the imbalance corrected. Last year (or was it two years ago?? Can't remember), he decided to drop his dose in half as a compromise to coming off it all together. Unfortunately, he did it on his own, without consultation with his doc (also unfortunately, drugs like that are available here without prescription, so he could do such a thing). It took him a LONG time to get settled on the new dose but I know his ultimate aim is to drop it all together.

I firmly believe that counseling would help him greatly, but there is no way he'd go for it. I recall broaching the subject quite a few years ago and it was vetoed on the spot without discussion. I've raised it a few times since with similar responses. I hope your DH doesn't have such an adverse reaction to see if that would help him.

I have my fingers crossed that his doc has an alternative that is both cheaper and alleviates those unwanted symptoms.

Thinking about you

I'm thinking mine might react the same way with counseling. But I'll still mention it at least. I'm hoping we can go through some options when he goes to the doctor. If I don't get to go with him, I'm going to make a list with my husband of what needs to be asked.

I hope your husband is doing well.

 

[momwithbabies]

Thank you for the support, ladies. I knew writing would make me feel better, and you ladies have calmed me down. At least I feel more hopeful now that he can get treatment that might not cost an arm and a leg. And hopefully us trying to have a baby might still be possible. I'm putting that on the back burner until further notice.

I'm staying in the "on a break" status and will check in whenever I can to see how everyone is doing. I'll let you ladies know what my husband decides to try.

Blessings to you and yours.

 

[melann13]

Clandestine, I'm planning to defend in December. Well, I kind of need to as I have a visiting professorship lined up for Jan-May 2015, but right now I still need to do my last study! My study subjects are in prep now and will be on study for about 6 weeks and then the lab work begins. It's going to be very busy. My second paper was just accepted pending revision, so I have those changes to make as well. How are you on your progression?

 

[ProfWife]

We had our follow-up today.

Husband's SA came back GREAT. (2.2mls, 111 million per ml, 244 million total count, 71% motility, 65% rapid/slow forward progression, 37% normal morphology)

AFM, my AmH lab came back at 2.69 ng/mL (which my doc says puts me more like a mid-20's woman's ovaries rather than a 32-year-old). Vitamin D is at 43. DHEA-S (adrenal hormone) was over 220, which is higher than I should be. So, I'll be going on meds to bring that down. However, he wants to do a laparoscopy on me this coming cycle to look for, confirm and remove endometriosis. I've finally contacted my principal for a meeting as my first shot at that surgery will be the day after school starts for the school year. I'm not sure if I'll be permitted to be out that day and the next for recovery.

So, please pray for one of two things to happen. Either 1) we're pregnant and I won't need surgery at all or 2) for my principal to be understanding and supportive as this is something I don't WANT but apparently need.

 

[momwithbabies]

ProfWife: Praying for sure! It would be awesome to avoid it all. I'm thinking surely they would let you off, though.

 

[Lazydaisys]

Hoping one of those things happen for you prowife. Xxxx

 

[Hopeful2014]

@newbie2013 I'm so excited about your procedure. I really hope clearing both tubes out helps and is all you needed! I can't wait for your BFP!! Good luck!

@ProfWife I think it's ridiculous that insurance doesn't cover more. Yay for a positive opk. I hope you had a great time on vacation! We love the mountains too. Good luck! I hope you get your vacation baby. Yay for a great SA and for your good results as well. I really hope you get pregnant and don't have to worry about having it done.

@Lazydaisys I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I can understand feeling uncomfortable in certain situations. I really hope it works. It will all be worth it!

@momwithbabies I'm sorry. I really hate to hear that he is having a hard time again and that he might be going back on medication. I know this has to be stressful in so many ways. We're here for you. I really hope he gets some good advice from his doctor. I wish he could find something that would have low impact on his sex drive and ttc. I hope the doctor can help. Big hugs. Remember we are always here for ttc or anything else.

@ClandestineTX I really think you have a great chance. I'm so hopeful for you. I know you deserve it. Are you thinking of quitting completely in October or just the meds? I'm sending loads of luck, wishes, and hugs your way.

AFM My computer has been driving me crazy lately. I'm going to have to invest in another laptop soon. I've been looking at laptops and chromebooks. Does anyone have any opinions on chromebooks? They are cheaper and supposed to run faster, but I don't like the storage space and some of the features. I'm starting the baby aspirin and extra vitamins Friday. I'm excited to start this journey. I really hope everything I'm doing will make a difference.

 

[Lazydaisys]

Hopeful I'm sure it will make a difference. Xxx

 

[ProfWife]

Talked to scheduler today - I'm scheduled for August 14th. Principal gave me the green light and told me he and his wife went through infertility for about 5 years before they finally got pregnant. So, he is completely understanding that I'll have appointments throughout the school year to deal with treatments.

So, everything is in line...now I'm hoping I can cancel it all! I'm feeling much better today.

 

[kksy9b]

Yay profwife! I'm glad your principal is so understanding I really hope it happens for you soon!!

 

[momwithbabies]

Hopeful: We are all pulling for you and know how hard you've worked for this. Blessings to you!

ProfWife: That's good news! I think people that have gone through this know how it's a process/roller coaster/waiting game.

 

[Lazydaisys]

Hi, I start my ivf cycle today with the the first injection tonight. I go for a first scan to see what's going on next Thursday. I'm feeling a lot less nervous and ready to do this. Xxx

 

[Hopeful2014]

@Lazydaisys Thank you! It does help to hear that from others. I'm feeling very excited for you and can't wait for the good news!! Good luck!!

@ProfWife I hope you can cancel it all as well. I'm glad your principal is understanding. I often wonder how many people struggle that we don't know about. Fingers crossed!

@momwithbabies Thank you!