MAY we all be blessed with baby! May 2013 and beyond (BFFs Seeking BFPs)

[ProfWife]

I'm sure you'll be fine - I hope they can get a clear image of little one's fetal pole and heartbeat if they do an ultrasound. Praying you'll have a good day and that it will pass quickly for you so you can get reassurance you're both doing well.

 

[newbie2013]

Thanks Profwife. He'll do an ultrasound, for sure. The beauty of this doctor is that he has his own ultrasound and I don't have to go anywhere else. I'll probably need blood tests and I'll do that at a big lab close by because they'll get the results quicker than the clinic.

 

[newbie2013]

Oh my goodness! Everything is perfect! Single little one nestled in well, strong heartbeat. Doc was super happy with everything (except that I'm still spotting a little). It is measuring 6w1d, which is perfect.

Can't wait to talk to dh. It is after midnight where he is, so it will probably be tomorrow morning when I next get to speak to him.

Thanks for the positive thoughts!

 

[RaeChay]

Oh I am so beyond pleased for you! And a little heart beat too did they say SCH or just unknown bleeding?

 

[ProfWife]

Woo hoo! So glad you got to have that magical moment.

Now you can rest a little more peacefully.

 

[ClandestineTX]

So glad to hear all is well!!! I had spotting three separate times during the end of week 5/ beginning of week 6, and everything was perfectly ok! FX for continued awesomeness, newbie!

 

[newbie2013]

Thanks ladies! I slept pretty well last night, but woke up at 5am Not exactly what I had planned. But I got up and was able to call dh, who is out shopping with his sister. I told him about the bleeding and the doctor's appointment. I sent him the photo of the scan and he seemed pretty happy. He understood why I didn't tell him about the bleeding when it happened, but he's relieved everything is ok. I think he's going to tell his sister, who'll be under strict instructions not to tell anyone.

The doctor didn't seem worried about the bleeding. He just said it is very common and don't worry about it. Now that he's seen the heart beat, everything is as it should be. No evidence of a SCH or anything. I'm just glad it has stopped!

He told me to take it easy this weekend and come back to him in three weeks.

 

[ProfWife]

For those of you who already had your little ones - how long did your "early labor" (before contractions got to the standard for hospital admission or your water broke) last? My in-laws unilaterally made the decision to come to our house ON my due date rather than waiting for us to call them that we're heading to the hospital, which was the original plan we'd decided on. They're driving from their home state to here, which means they'll be staying AT our house.

I'm trying hard to be polite, I love them dearly. However, MY labor plan involves using our guest bathroom for the tub during early labor, my exercise ball, etc. I do NOT want to be moaning through contractions with my mother and father-in-law around. I've talked that over with hubs, and he assures me he'll tell them it's time for them to go do something else when we hit that point, but I doubt his resolve for that. I hate to say it, it sounds so selfish, but while this is their first grandchild, this is my first child and I need my husband to help get me through this, not sitting out talking with his parents or trying to entertain them or anything like that. This is about bringing our daughter into the world...and I think I should get that amount of consideration from them without even needing to ask.

I've already created my birthing plan, listed those who can be in the L/D room periodically (sisters and my mom). Call me crazy, but I don't want my mother-in-law and father-in-law sitting in my room (which means none of my family could be in at the same time as I'm limited to 3 people) when I'm getting a cervix check or trying to labor.

Am I being completely unreasonable?

 

[melann13]

Not unreasonable at all.
I can't give you answers as I was induced... my parents were present, though my dad would disappear when they came in to do checks etc. and my parents were in the waiting room for the actual birth.
I am already a little paranoid about what to do this time since we'll need to arrange care for my daughter and we don't have any family here. If MY parents were at my house, I'd be okay with it (They're a 5hr drive away). If it was my in-laws- ABSOLUTELY NOT. Our relationship has improved over the last 12 years, but I was anxious when they mentioned coming in the first 2 weeks post partum because I didn't want to be learning to breastfeed with my super awkward father in law around. They ended up not coming until 2mos (it's a cross country flight for them).
Maybe you'll go into labor early and not have to worry about it?
Be bold. Tell them they need to stay in a nearby hotel or something until you're actually ready to go to the hospital. You need to be comfortable, not paranoid about what other people are doing.

 

[ProfWife]

I'm not that worried about nursing. My preferred sitting location is my rocker, and that's not in an open area. I can shut the door, have my tablet and food and relax.

They're coming in their RV; so, they may just get banished to the RV at some point. Hubs is supposed to put them on notice that if I get overwhelmed by the visiting, noise, etc. they are just to go do something for the day.

The big benefit to having them here is I will have help with food (Hubs has gotten out of practice and you can only have pizza so many times ;-) )

 

[ClandestineTX]

I'm a super private person, I'd be alot more than bold telling them to shove off. And I wouldn't feel bad either. Birth is no walk in the park, you should do everything you can to be on your game.

 

[melann13]

I was pretty confident in BFing, I was very determined... I just knew that I'd probably be doing it A LOT in those first few weeks and didn't want to be banished to the nursery all day every day.

 

[newbie2013]

Banish them to their RV as much as you need. You do whatever you need to make this your experience rather than their's.

I must admit, one of the reason I will happily sacrifice one month of maternity leave before the baby comes is to travel to another country where my in laws are not present. I don't want this to be about them and they're the kind of people who would do that. I'm also pleased that my mum plans to come back with me so that my mother in law won't be able to come and stay during the first couple of months.

As for breastfeeding, I hope to do it, but I'll get one of those drapes that you put around your neck that covers the baby but you can still see it. That way, we'll both get used to doing it anywhere because I'll need to when I go back to work.

 

[RaeChay]

It's your birth & your rules. Nothing related is unreasonable. Also, you won't really be "moaning" through contractions until you're in transition, and you should def be in the hospital by that point. Pre-labor isn't that bad. I can't say how long mine lasted because I went into labor due to food borne illness. Back labor does suck (but most don't have it). Try not to be afraid to speak up. Others mean well but you need to do what's right for you & baby. Honestly it's kind of silly for your IL's to show up on your due date, FTMs go an average of 5 days past (and you could go up to two weeks or induction!).

 

[ProfWife]

Well, my doc won't let me go past 41 weeks...so, she'll be here before they're scheduled to leave for another event my FIL has.

Logistically, I understand their reasoning. He has an event (he's literally a world-class runner) that is 12 hours towards us, the half-way point the week before she's due. It's quite silly for them to drive there, drive back, then drive all the way again days later. I totally get that. I just think in their enthusiasm they forgot that this isn't a pretty process nor is it a "family affair."

From what I understand of the process, transition can happen pretty quickly. My hospital makes you stay out until you're either 4 cm dilated, contractions are 2-5 minutes apart for at least an hour or your water breaks...or any combination of the three. So, it's anyone's bet which of the three I'll meet for admissions. I can feasibly see how I'd be close to transitioning.

Everyone is different with the levels of pain depending on positioning of baby and a whole other host of issues. I don't know what I'll be dealing with...but I want the freedom to react the way I want/need rather than having to make them feel like they're welcome. Ya know?

 

[newbie2013]

Oh, I forgot to update you guys - my doctor updated my due date to be 13th January 2017... Friday the 13th! I think I'll start referring to this as my little monster - haha!

 

[newbie2013]

ProfWife - stay strong and be very clear with what you need and want. Perhaps have a signal set up with your DH to indicate that you need them out asap. I understand they are excited about the first grandchild, but this is YOUR first CHILD. You do whatever you need to be comfortable. Praying for you!

 

[ProfWife]

Thanks!

Interesting that they changed your date. Any rationale given? How big of a jump was it?

 

[momwithbabies]

Newbie: So glad you were able to see that everything is okay! With my daughter, I bled a little bit during the first and second trimesters. It's so scary, I know. I believe I had partial placenta previa, but I'm not exactly sure. I hope there's no more bleeding because I know it's scary every time.

ProfWife: With my first baby, everybody was so excited and wanted to help. They ended up stressing me out even more, especially the in-laws. I told my husband that I can't do this anymore and he made them leave. I'll do almost anything to not offend someone, and I knew that they had good intentions, but those first weeks are so hard and precious at the same time. It's hard to share that intimate experience with someone. My husband was the one telling people to leave because I told them I didn't have the heart. He was amazing and took the heat for me. By the way, there really wasn't any sour feelings - I think people forget how hard this is and just want to help. But their helping can actually cause resentment, which I know you don't want for down the road. If I were you, I'd have an open and honest conversation with your husband and draw the lines now. You can always adjust later, if needed. I like the idea of a signal, for sure. And if your in-laws remember anything about giving birth or having a first child, they'll understand. If they don't, they are going to have to learn. Your baby = your rules. Whenever men can start having babies, that's when they can set the rules

So much baby news around here...I'm so excited for you all!!! Hoping I get the chance to have a baby again. It's so hard, but nothing is more worth it. Sending you ladies my thoughts of peaceful pregnancies!

 

[newbie2013]

Great to hear from you momwithbabies!!! How are you doing?