Ladies, I agree that we all spend a lot of time on ttc. We spend all day, every day thinking about it probably. We spend all af planning. We spend all fertile days trying to bd just right. We spend all lp days judging every symptom, checking our charts over and over, and judging temps, etc. Unfortunately, we sometimes have to repeat that process over and over as well.
One thing that keeps me going is knowing that the things I am doing usually is pushing me further along and closer to my goal. The time will pass anyway and I want to know that I'm doing my best during that time.
We all know how long it has taken us so far. We obsess over that time and fear as it grows longer. We set dates in our mind of when we will be due or when we would like to be due or sadly when we should have been due if it had worked out. I think sometimes planning those dates is one thing that gets to me. I've tried to be a bit better about it the last couple of months, but it's always there in my mind. All of that time passes.
When I was thinking about my own amount of time tonight with my husband I thought "yes, it has been this long, but a few of those months were before we temped or knew as much, one seemed to work but was lost, and this last one was crazy and I knew it could be an off month." I'm sure we all have months like that. Months that we count and feel bad about, months when we just could not get timing right, months when we did but something else just wasn't right. I wish I was one of those people who just tried and had two dark lines right away. I wish all of you were too.
I do think there's a line we should watch when ttc. We should make sure that we step back and relax if we find that it's becoming too hard or upsetting. We should make sure to take care of ourselves and the relationships we already have. It's okay to let ourselves have a break and know that it's for the best. That can be a break from obsessing over temps by doing an activity that you really like. That can be by planning an activity that you know you will love in a month or more and getting excited for that opportunity as well as hoping for a BFP at that time.
We should also celebrate ourselves for what we are doing and know that we are being productive. Each month we are learning more about ourselves and getting one month closer to a BFP because we will make it happen. We will get there because of the planning, the obsessing, the researching, the dedication, the friendships and advice we find here, and the resilience we show when we pick ourselves back up and repeat that process another month.
We are all beautiful, hard-working women who are living demanding public lives, and who are also going through the difficult process of ttc. I see a success each time one of you gets a BFP. I also see a success each time one of you gives advice or starts the next month with the resilience and perseverance that you've showed all this time.
Time will pass. I would rather regret the time that's passing but know I was giving it my all, than time passing and knowing I should have done more because you can't change what's happened, only what's to come.
just want to know!) but now would rather not drive myself mad seeing a faint blur of something.
I hate to see a temp drop. I'm so sorry. I hope she stays away and it's just a fluke. I'm here for you, whether that's celebrating your BFP or sharing a sad moment and adjusting strategies for next month. 
Good luck!!
I hope your lines get darker. Good luck! 
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I last tested at 11 dpo and didn't see anything so I'm nervous to test. I'll update when I test either way! Hope everyone is doing well and has a lovely weekend!
