Mid June and July Firecrackers Group Due June/July 2017!

[Catalyst]

Congrats on your scans and finding out genders

A friend of mine has 4 boys. The last time when she announced the gender a person said they were sorry for her!!
I am litlw bit worried about reactions and geting offended or hurt if it turns out the twins are two boys since I already have two sons. I dont mind myself neither does DH.

I have been morw worried and afraid something will happen this pregnancy than previus ones. So I got t go see the mw on tuesday to heat the heartbeat. It calmed me.

Just 10 days till our 20w scan. And tomorrow I will be 19 weeks... means I am halfway there! (Will be induced id they havent arrived at 38 weeks.) Amazing that I am already at that point!!

 

[Maries_s]

I'm sorry some of you did not receive the reaction you were expecting. Sometimes people are mean and have a perspective about how you should managed your life and says bad things to you. My sister wasn't so happy for me when I announced her my pregnancy and I felt bad but I get it. She thinks I quit study since I give birth to my DD and she was expecting I continue studying now that she can go to daycare. (What nobody know is that I have been secretly studying for a year now but I changed my career path and I don't want to receive any bad comments from any of my family)
My point is, you should not let that others people reactions affect your happiness. You are having a baby and you're happy either is a girl or boy. If people were expecting something different it doesn't matter you are going to be a parent and at the end the only thing about you have been praying is for a healthy baby.

 

[Mummafrog]

Lovely to hear what you're all up to we probably won't do much either tbh, I've got work to do on Valentine's :/ but we'll make sure to spend some extra time appreciating each other.

Feeling quite sore after work today.. think it might be a pizza night

I have to wait four more weeks for a scan.. I might die xD

 

[lesondemavie]

Yea I'm in the middle of that wait mumma. It's been 3 weeks since my last ultrasound and I have 2.5 weeks more to go. This is after getting to see the baby weekly. So tough! The doppler is definitely helping me stay connected to baby, and I think I'm starting to feel baby now and again. Yesterday even felt like a couple kicks, but it's still hard to say since this is my first.

 

[blessedmomma]

Gagrl- honestly we have only put the last couple babies on Facebook. Dh and I are pretty private people and it's really odd to me to announce such a personal thing to certain people who are really distant acquaintances. We do keep our list of friends on there small, but still.

As for the rude comments, I guess I'm just used to it. We started getting rude comments starting on our 4th child. At that point we had 2 girls and then 2 boys. The first one was someone saying my family was finished now. Nice of you to decide for us haha. When we had another boy next we got some comments that we must have wanted a girl. And then another boy next and forget it, everyone acted a fool like we must have really messed up by having 4 boys in a row. Then we had another girl next and someone said finally we got another girl so we must be done. Um, we love kids we were never trying for one or the other gender. But I guess the world doesn't inderstand that. Then we had another boy next. And another girl now. Someone seriously said they guessed my husband finally got it right because we are having another girl. This makes 4 girls for us, I'm not even sure what that meant. Yes I have 5 boys, but we adore them they are amazing boys. I'd take 10 more. It's so weird how people are. I think the majority of rude things we hear are more about the size of our family. The thing is that we take care of them, we afford them, no one is burdened by them. My kids listen well, they do chores every day, and I homeschool so they do their school work every day. I guess if we were asking anyone to babysit or borrowing money someone has a right to say, but we don't ask anyone for anything. Everyone has their opinion and when it comes to kids they are profoundly looked at like a burden. But we see them as a blessing. My husband jokes that if people don't fit in the idea that everyone should have 2 kids (1 boy and 1 girl) you're asking for it haha.

 

[lesondemavie]

Blessed - I don't know that it's because kids are seen as a burden (perhaps to some which is fine if that's how they feel), but the reality is that it does cost money to raise a kid. Those of us who choose to have kids (and I get not everyone gets to choose and plan such things) just decide that it's where we want to put our money, and I will happily do so. Just as you may have a hard time understanding why some couples would choose to never have kids, they may have trouble understanding why you want a large family. We're just all so different, but I see that as something to celebrate. The comments one way or the other are just ignorance and people projecting what they would want for themselves. With size of family politics/social responsibility can get a bit involved, but when pressed I know very few people who would argue for population control policies. We hold our freedom, and the right to procreate as we choose far to dear as a society to go there. I don't even judge those who struggle to support the kids they have, as I don't know their situation or how they ended up there, it more compels me to understand and help if I can. To be honest, there are other reasons too but that social responsibility bit is a part of only wanting two kids for myself (and I've sometimes even considered 0-1 kids), but to me that's a personal decision and not a judgement to pass on other people. I'm glad not everyone is like me. How boring would that be? I would never venture to tell anyone they're done or they should stop. It's not my place. I fully believe that you get those comments though, and I'm glad you and DH can laugh about it. It really is none of their business.

I get ignorant comments about not changing my last name, and not knowing the sex of my baby, and wanting to go back to work after the baby is born. Sure it bothers me a bit, and I wish they would take some time to listen and understand if they care about my decisions so much, but I don't blame them. They're just coming from a different place than me.

 

[second.time]

I actually come from a large homeschooled family, blessed, and we got a lot of surprised or occasionally rude comments. My mom used to joke she should get a T-shirt that said YES, THEY'RE ALL MINE. People just didn't expect to see so many kids out in public on school days. As I got older and understood some of the harsher comments they'd hurt my feelings. But luckily my mom was supportive and always seemed happy with our family, so that made me feel better too.

It's tough to deal with awkward and unwanted judgments about your life. Gender comments are especially odd because -- who can control that?! It's not like you decided not to have a boy or planned to have a girl. It just happens, and either way it's lovely.

Sometimes I have to look back on the comments I make to other people and wonder if they accidentally came across as judgmental or rude. I try to just stay enthusiastic and open and follow other people's leads, but I'm sure I mess up. It's easy to say the wrong thing in the moment and immediately regret it.

Malia, you look great! Glad you had a good response to your announcement!

 

[blessedmomma]

Leson- I have a bil and sil that have decided not to have kids and fully respect their decision. It's not that I don't understand someone's decision or their choices, it was just more a post of what has been said to me. I certainly wasn't trying to say there is anything wrong with having a small family or no kids at all. I would never tell my bil and sil they should have children or anything like that. In all honesty I don't think of it at all. We fully know the cost of children. I think in having a big family, people have expressed to us particularly the burdens of having children. We get told we must have no time to ourselves and asked how much our food bill is and so many other things. I get that sometimes that is out of curiosity, but I was also told by someone if they had this many kids they would kill theirself. That's absurd to even say to someone. And I completely understand someone only wanting 1, 2, 3 children or whatever, there was a time when I almost got my tubes tied after my 2nd, and then my 4th. I guess since I wouldn't think someone was wrong for choosing to not have children or for choosing to only have a couple I would expect people to not have a problem with what we choose as well. But that is not how it is. That's all I was saying. On the flip side I've also noticed that my friends and family who do get pregnant tend to tell us first. They know we will give them big congratulations and many of them have said specifically that they told us first because they knew we wouldn't say something negative. I see that as an honor that others would feel comfortable enough to share such private information so early on. It's amazing. When it comes down to it people will always have a problem with something you do.

Second time- that's amazing! You probably experienced what my children will experience then. Part of me wants to shield them from such comments. I've had my kids tell me how upset they were at something someone said and it breaks my heart. Your mom sounds wonderful though. It takes a gentle and loving heart to hear someone hurt your child and still teach them to forgive the person that hurt them. It's truly a gift they will carry into adulthood. I always try to remind them that we don't live for the world, we live for God.

 

[blessedmomma]

Honestly ladies I think you'll find that opinions on having a boy or girl (or not even finding out) are only the beginning. Wait until you hear everyone's opinions on everything you're doing wrong as a parent

 

[PrettyInInk42]

I had a little bit of a big day today.

I finally told one of my managers I'm pregnant. He's someone I've known for about 13 years and he was pretty shocked and happy for me. I also set up my first appt with an OB/GYN for next month. And I've been noticing my uterus getting more solid. Then I've got my 2nd round of blood work for my IPS in a week and anatomy scan in 4 weeks.

As a first timer, it all just seems so surreal and hard to believe. This is something I've literally dreamed about for half of my life and it's now actually happening. : )

Oh! I've also educated myself on nub theory and, based on the pics from my 12 week scan, I THINK I'm having a girl. But we'll see.

 

[lesondemavie]

blessed - Thanks for sharing, and I didn't mean that you would make those comments. I think we all have a hard time understanding different lifestyle choices, and sometimes we say things that we mean just for ourselves, but people interpret as a judgment on them. I just thought it might be difficult for you to fully understand the feelings and reasons behind why someone would choose to not have any kids at all (I have a couple friends who have made that choice, and even though I get that it works for them and fully support their decision, I can't say that I really understand those feelings fully). I think those sorts of questions are mostly out of curiosity, not necessarily feeling like kids are a burden, but they are still bothersome and unnecessary questions all the same. I have a hard time imagining what our finances will be like with 1 or 2 kids let alone more. I honestly don't know how I would make more work and on one salary to boot, so I get those thoughts, but I certainly don't see them as burdens! Also, I would never ask because it's none of my business, and clearly it's working just fine for you . People are just being curious and nosy, and butting their noses in where they don't belong! Also yes, the opinions about how to parent will be worse I'm sure! I actually consult with parents of kids with autism to help them with aggression or problem behavior, and also just how to teach their kids different skills. Yes, my focus is on autism, but what we do works with anyone really (and parents/teachers share that it helped the other kids too all the time), so it's kinda my job to tell them how to parent in a way, but I'm very careful to let there be some flexibility. What works for one parent, and one kid, may not work for another. I think it's so silly when one parent thinks they have it all figured out for everyone else! Some people tell me I must be all set doing what I do, but I watch my director with her son, and while she uses some of what she knows from work, mostly she's just a parent doing her best like anyone else. The emotions are just so different with your own kids.

second - I agree. I'm constantly trying my best, but I'm sure I mess up now again. We're human. Not perfect ....I also drive my husband nuts correcting his statements during arguments ..."you mean that you feel like..." (us darn psychologists)...but how we phrase things definitely does change how those words are received by others.

pretty - How special and exciting. Good luck on your appointments! I concur with those feelings as a first timer. This is my third pregnancy now, but I've never made it this far before. I look down at my belly sometimes and am just in awe, and I'm so excited to be feeling some things and wondering if it is baby. After my previous losses, I'm just so amazed that any pregnancy continues on like this let alone my own! I know it is fine more often then not, but so far I'm 0 for 2 and going for 1 in 3. I'm just so, so in love with that little heartbeat

 

[blessedmomma]

Pretty- I've studied nub theory and my old ob used to send me to a perinatologist for all my scans. He was the best in the state and very well versed on it as well and was always able to correctly tell me what I was having from my 12 week u/s. If you know what you're looking for it's highly accurate so sweet that you're having this moment, it's such a beautiful feeling

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Thanks leson and blessed. : )

Things got even more real today when I picked up a few shirts and belly bands from Thyme Maternity cuz they were having a nursing event where if you bought anything, you'd get a free little nursing grab bag. (pic 1)
And then, at hot yoga today, I was doing a modified bridge pose (pic 2) and it felt like my uterus and all the amniotic fluid shifted up. And I could feel the bump really well. lol

And pic 3 is the scan pic that makes me think girl. : )

 

[blessedmomma]

Pretty looks very girly to me too. I love to shop for maternity/nursing clothes. What a great find getting the extra grab bag too!

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Pretty looks very girly to me too. I love to shop for maternity/nursing clothes. What a great find getting the extra grab bag too!

Oh ya, the grab bag was the only reason I bought anything. Maternity clothes can be stupid expensive. Just one shirt is like $35. I could get like 2 or 3 shirts at WalMart for that price. Or like 7-9 tanks tops. haha.

I used the in-store baby bump padding when I was trying on those shirts. Omg, it was so funny. I thought I knew how I was gonna look during pregnant cuz I've always carried most of my weight around my tummy, but the bump was so huge. I wish I'd taken a pic. lol

 

[Maries_s]

Pretty how are you doing with the yoga? I just texted a place that offers prenatal yoga classes but I don't have much experience.

 

[lesondemavie]

I'm doing gentle/restorative yoga after doing nothing at all in first tri. It's super relaxing. I go right after work, get home, eat, and pass out. The instructors are great at helping me modify when needed.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Pretty how are you doing with the yoga? I just texted a place that offers prenatal yoga classes but I don't have much experience.

I'm doing alright. I don't do prenatal classes though; it's hot yoga. I did several classes before I got pregnant, so I was already used to the heat. The studio I go to doesn't have actual prenatal classes, but they have a "cheat sheet" of poses you should and shouldn't do. I was moderately flexible before doing yoga, but this yoga (Bikram) focuses more on breathing, fluidly moving through the poses, and letting your body "cleanse" itself through sweat.

I'd definitely recommend doing any kind of yoga in general though, if you're curious about it. Just listen to your body and don't push yourself too hard. Most places will offer a short trial memberships too.

 

[Maries_s]

The studio that I'm looking for is very flexible with prices you pay what you can. I always have been curious about yoga and never got the chance to actually go to a studio a practice so I'm really looking forward for their answers.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

The studio that I'm looking for is very flexible with prices you pay what you can. I always have been curious about yoga and never got the chance to actually go to a studio a practice so I'm really looking forward for their answers.

Good. If you weren't particularly active before you go pregnant, you'll want to ease into any kind of fitness routine and yoga would be great. I've been having pretty moderate pain back for a couple weeks and then I went to a yoga class yesterday (after 3 weeks of not going) and I'm feeling noticeably better. The stretching and being mindful of your breathing will probably also help you when it comes time to give birth.

In other news, I'm a dumbass who ate a whole large pizza 2 hours before bed. Oh, the heartburn. >_< lol