Might as well get started

[Holliems]

Hmm maybe the pregnancy section they have journal section?

I must have overlooked it!

 

[Holliems]

Started a journal! I hope it's not too early. I don't want to jinx myself.

 

[junemomma09]

Oohh going to look for it!

 

[Holliems]

18 DPO. Wow!
https://i666.photobucket.com/albums/vv30/holliemshr/A53C8D50-4556-4305-BBA9-A890F1F412FA_zpsfms2fmay.jpg

 

[Mrs. MB]

That's amazing!!!!

 

[gigglebox]

Holy crap!!!

 

[Holliems]

I'm trying so hard to not get excited about being pregnant. I want to block it out of my mind and go on as usual until scans. But it's starting. Im so scared the worst will happen. Im afraid I'll go into first scan and there won't be anything there. Im 37 and a smoker. I've cut down smoking quite a bit since I found out but still. It's not good and very hard quitting.

Just a small vent. It's been on my mind since I got this BFP. I started getting excited to have a baby.

 

[gigglebox]

Ok, pep talk from someone who was told her baby wouldn't live past 15 weeks...

I spent so much time trying to disconnect from the pregnancy so as to not get as upset when it ended. I tried to think positively about getting pregnant again. I avoiding acknowledging it. I waited to find out the gender...but the thing is, you ARE going to be sad if you lose it, trying not to get excited will not ease your pain, and it will not make the pregnancy any more or less likely to succeed. The best thing you can do is be happy about it and embrace it while you can. Better to be happy for this time, if you're fated to miscarry, than be sad and disconnected. But please realize a miscarriage is the unlikely scenario.

As for me, my baby with the 15% chance of survival is now 3years 8 months old and sleeping in the other room. Don't let stats scare you. Let yourself be happy!

 

[Holliems]

Why were you told that?

I had a similar experience with my first. Went in for a routine appointment at 4 month and was told she had a 50/50 chance of making it. I disconnected myself the rest of the way. It was hard to enjoy it. She'll be 15 soon.

You're right, I shouldn't. What will be will be. I guess I'm just anxious. Reading all the stories on this bored, you realize anything can happen and its heart breaking when you read the worst.

 

[gigglebox]

He had a huge amount of fluid from his head to his tail bone at a 11week 6day scan. He had markers for a major chromosome abnormality, and when he cleared all those tests they said he probably had a major heart issue, but everything resolved and he was fine.

What happened with your daughter?

 

[Holliems]

I can't remember what they called it, but at 4 months her heart rate was 238ish I believe was the highest. They thought she was going to go into heart failure. I was put on meds. After she was born she took the meds for 6 months but there was no need. The condition somehow disappeared after she was born. One thing I've always wondered could have been a reason her heart beat so fast...at delivery, she had two knots in cord and placenta was twice the normal size, according to dr. I just thought the whole thing was strange.

 

[mindyb85]

I'm so sorry you went through that scary time. I will say this though, with a test like that, it's hard not to be down right giddy!! As for me. AF got me. Ugh. Oh well wasn't meant to be this month. I am looking to when my next o day should be and it's on my birthday so we should have a pretty good shot this cycle lol

 

[gigglebox]

How very strange, but wonderful that it all turned out fine! I do hope you're able to find some inner peace and enjoy this pregnancy

 

[Holliems]

Aw mindy that stinks! Maybe this next cycle is your lucky cycle since its your bday

Thanks Giggles. I'm sure I will once I see a hb.