Military Wives/Fiances/Girlfriends Support Group

[cleckner04]

Nimyra- I'm glad it's getting easier!! You guys will be back to normal in no time. How's maya doing on her mattress? I started moving Emma to her bed but than I always seem to find an excuse to stop and bring her back to my bed.

Justagirl- Ahh I get it now. I'm sorry you won't get those few weeks in between. I really hope this all flies by for you. It's great that you are going back to school! I'm not allowed to say exact dates that DH gets home because it's OPSEC(operational security) But it's in June.


It is definitely harder with an older baby that actually knows who daddy is. I can't even say the word 'daddy' out loud because Emma goes to the front door to find him. (He's always in the garage when home so she'd always go out and visit him) We skyped with DH about a month ago and Emma was SOOO excited to see him. Than the other night I started calling up my parents on skype. Emma was giggling and literally standing there bouncing up and down with excitement. Than my parents answered and as soon as she saw it was them, her entire face dropped and she walked away. But I can say even when Emma was younger and he'd leave, she still let him hug her immediately and gave him grins. So I think she somewhat knew him each time. He didn't have to leave the first time until she was I think 3 months old. So we had those first months together and I'm very grateful for that.


Kylarsmom- Hey hun!! :wave: I'm pretty much exactly the same as you. Love the benefits, hate how they jerk us around and the way they treat us. Everyone says military is very family friendly but it really isn't. Sure they have a few groups out there that does things all together. But those are the wives doing it, not the military IYKWIM. We've done 3 deployments so far too. Well 4 now I guess. Good luck with your pregnancy!!

 

[Nimyra]

She's doing great on her mattress! This is actually a great solution for us (until she starts moving anyway!). I can lift her up and bring her into bed to feed her, then lay her back down in her bed without waking her so I have room to stretch out and sleep. She's only a foot or so below me. I also have a sound machine stuffed animal within reach and now I can turn it on without leaving the bed. hurray!

Today we are busy busy busy getting DH unpacked and getting rid of our extra stuff.

I'm thinking about starting Maya on some solids (like some banana mush) - she's almost 6 months, but was born at 36w2d gestation. Do you think its too soon to start or its probably fine?

 

[cleckner04]

I started Emma at 5 months 3 weeks! I just put a banana on the tray and let her go at it. She mostly just played and didn't actually start ingesting any of it until more like 6.5-7 months. But I don't think starting a week early would affect anything! It's so exciting starting out with solids! Good luck, I hope she loves it.

 

[Justagirlxx]

Hi girls!

Name: Heather
Military Branch: Marine Corp
How long he's been in: 6 years
Currently Deployed?: No, but we have done 3 Iraq Deployments, I think that's enough!
How long you've been together: Married 4 years
How do you like the Military Life?: Love/Hate it- Love the benifits, love the pride, love the thought of being married to a marine, but hate that they use you, lie to you, over work the guys, hate the moving around, hate when they screw you, and hate being owned by them :/

Heyyyy glad you found this Welcome!! Well from being on here and on the other army forum I'm on I have seen that the military really isn't very family friendly. They definitely talk it up that they are but it seems like when it comes down to it they dont deliver unfortunately. I also dont like how our lives belong to them for 4 years. It's a huge commitment and affects everyone...

 

[Justagirlxx]

She's doing great on her mattress! This is actually a great solution for us (until she starts moving anyway!). I can lift her up and bring her into bed to feed her, then lay her back down in her bed without waking her so I have room to stretch out and sleep. She's only a foot or so below me. I also have a sound machine stuffed animal within reach and now I can turn it on without leaving the bed. hurray!

Today we are busy busy busy getting DH unpacked and getting rid of our extra stuff.

I'm thinking about starting Maya on some solids (like some banana mush) - she's almost 6 months, but was born at 36w2d gestation. Do you think its too soon to start or its probably fine?

Hey Nim. I tried JJ on solids (rice cereal) but he spit it out and cried lol! So I'm gonna wait till 6 months. I'm sure Maya will love it and good luck!! Im excited for when I can start feeding JJ solids

 

[Nimyra]

I think I'll just let her play with some banana mush or applesauce. Maybe right before bath time. lol. We got some free babyfood that is about to expire, so that's why I was thinking of letting her try it.

Things are feeling more normal now, thank God. We did our family budget last night and I realized just how much tighter things are going to be financially now that we're not getting the deployment tax break. eek. no more eating out for a while.

 

[Kylarsmom]

So true! My husband re-enlisted and they promised him certain things and he didnt get them, when they were the only reason he re-enlisted in the first place. It was really messed up and we got the gov't involved and got them in big trouble! lol!

 

[Justagirlxx]

So this shit officially sucks ladies.


I am under so much pressure. Its so hard faking a smile and pretending everythings fine when I'm so lonely, but if I say anything people will just worry about me.

With 2 positive pregnancy tests and 2 negative ones, I am so confused, people are telling me the blue dye ones always give false positives, I wish I never took one. God only knows when my period is supposed to show up! This just adds more stress!! ugghhhh I miss my husband sooooo freaking much!!!

 

[cleckner04]

When is your period due hun? I think you said in your other thread that your periods are irregular? What day did you guys DTD? I can't remember when your DH left.

It will get easier, I can promise you that. It's hard to explain to people who haven't been through it. I often rant to my mom about missing my husband and she goes on about how my dad used to work a lot. Not the same AT ALL! He was at least home with her at night IYKWIM. Just do what you can to keep your mind off of it. And trust me, I know that is easier said than done...Do you have any hobbies? Maybe you could make a nice scrapbook of you and LO's adventures and pictures in the next few months for your DH for when he gets back. So than he can see everything you were up to while he missed out on it. Random things like that is how I get by. Just keeping my hands busy and trying not to think too much. I avoid romantic/sad movies as much as possible too. Those are the worst. Although sometimes I need a good cry so I'll bring out movies like the notebook or p.s. I love you and drown in my own tears.

As for the blue dye tests. I'm always looking at the test section and lot's of girls have had false positives with the blue dye tests. I'm not saying yours is a false positive because I really don't know. But I would trust the FRER much more than I would a blue dye test.

 

[Justagirlxx]

When is your period due hun? I think you said in your other thread that your periods are irregular? What day did you guys DTD? I can't remember when your DH left.

It will get easier, I can promise you that. It's hard to explain to people who haven't been through it. I often rant to my mom about missing my husband and she goes on about how my dad used to work a lot. Not the same AT ALL! He was at least home with her at night IYKWIM. Just do what you can to keep your mind off of it. And trust me, I know that is easier said than done...Do you have any hobbies? Maybe you could make a nice scrapbook of you and LO's adventures and pictures in the next few months for your DH for when he gets back. So than he can see everything you were up to while he missed out on it. Random things like that is how I get by. Just keeping my hands busy and trying not to think too much. I avoid romantic/sad movies as much as possible too. Those are the worst. Although sometimes I need a good cry so I'll bring out movies like the notebook or p.s. I love you and drown in my own tears.

As for the blue dye tests. I'm always looking at the test section and lot's of girls have had false positives with the blue dye tests. I'm not saying yours is a false positive because I really don't know. But I would trust the FRER much more than I would a blue dye test.

Oh my God!! Making a scrap book sounds like such a good idea!! I am not very creative but I think if I worked really hard on it, it could come out great and I think he would LOVE seeing that, so he could feel like even though he missed out on a lot, at least he can see everything... Thanks so much for that idea!!

My period should come either this week or next week, depending on how long my cycle wants to be this month. My cycles have been very long since I had the baby. The last time DH and I DTD was the 19th, the day before he left. We DTD a lot prior to that but wore a condom always, the last day is when the condom slipped off Lol. I honestly have NO pregnancy signs whatsoever. I'm gonna trust the FRER for now. I'll take one next week if my period isn't here by then, but I don't want to keep testing because it's so expensive and I don't want to waste all that money on nothing lol, it wont make me any more or less pregnant yano!? haha

Anyways thanks for the encouraging words and good ideas! I am super busy with school and work but at night it really gets to me, so I think night time is when I'll work on the scrap book!!

 

[prdlyexpectng]

Name: Ashley
Military Branch: army
How long he's been in: just commissioned 8 months ago
Currently Deployed?: not yet, deploying to Kandahar, Afg in September
How long you've been together: 2 years
How do you like the Military Life?: not liking it! grew up in a military family never got to reap the benefits of moving around like my brother did, now that my OH is in the army.. don't really like it at all

 

[Nimyra]

I'm sorry I haven't been on BnB in a while -- I've been so busy with schoolwork and getting used to having DH around again.

So,... I need some advice. My confession is this-----
I really don't like not having Maya in the bed with me. I'm not sleeping as well because I'm waking up more fully during the 3+ times she wakes to nurse at night and I'm grouchier now in the morning because I'm tired. Also DH snores which isn't helping anything. I sort of want to suggest us sleeping in different beds but I think it might hurt his feelings. I love my husband and I'm just not sure what to do.

Alternatively I could try sleep training Maya.

What should I do??? Just suck it up and deal with the lack of sleep? Or change something?

***** edit **********
Had a talk with DH this morning. He was open to either plan, but I think I've come up with a middle way that might work.

We will move LO's crib into the other room (well, really we'll move our bed to the other room).

- DH usually falls asleep before I do so I will be on "get baby to sleep" duty until midnight - and get her to sleep in her own room / do a late night nursing before I go to bed.
- Then between 12 and 5 or 6am, we'll cut out the night feeds and have DH go in and soothe her, rock her, etc if she cries. My feeling is that she doesn't need the food, just wants the comfort (because she only nurses a bit at night before falling back asleep). If DH does this job she won't think she's going to be fed since he isn't the milk lady. This also gives me some time when i'm off baby duty (wow!).
- Then when DH gets up for his day (he gets up around 5 or 6am for work), he'll bring Maya into bed with me and I can cosleep in the early morning (which I love) without DH there taking up our room.

 

[Kylarsmom]

Hi ladies! My personal opinion is to sleep train the baby. I think in my opinion your relationship with your DH should come first, then yours with your baby. After all , you 2 are what started it all!! =) Your baby may need you more than he does, but at some point they need to learn a little independence anyway. Ok just read your edited part, sounds pretty good! Hope it works out great for you all!

 

[Kylarsmom]

When is your period due hun? I think you said in your other thread that your periods are irregular? What day did you guys DTD? I can't remember when your DH left.

It will get easier, I can promise you that. It's hard to explain to people who haven't been through it. I often rant to my mom about missing my husband and she goes on about how my dad used to work a lot. Not the same AT ALL! He was at least home with her at night IYKWIM. Just do what you can to keep your mind off of it. And trust me, I know that is easier said than done...Do you have any hobbies? Maybe you could make a nice scrapbook of you and LO's adventures and pictures in the next few months for your DH for when he gets back. So than he can see everything you were up to while he missed out on it. Random things like that is how I get by. Just keeping my hands busy and trying not to think too much. I avoid romantic/sad movies as much as possible too. Those are the worst. Although sometimes I need a good cry so I'll bring out movies like the notebook or p.s. I love you and drown in my own tears.

As for the blue dye tests. I'm always looking at the test section and lot's of girls have had false positives with the blue dye tests. I'm not saying yours is a false positive because I really don't know. But I would trust the FRER much more than I would a blue dye test.

Oh my God!! Making a scrap book sounds like such a good idea!! I am not very creative but I think if I worked really hard on it, it could come out great and I think he would LOVE seeing that, so he could feel like even though he missed out on a lot, at least he can see everything... Thanks so much for that idea!!

My period should come either this week or next week, depending on how long my cycle wants to be this month. My cycles have been very long since I had the baby. The last time DH and I DTD was the 19th, the day before he left. We DTD a lot prior to that but wore a condom always, the last day is when the condom slipped off Lol. I honestly have NO pregnancy signs whatsoever. I'm gonna trust the FRER for now. I'll take one next week if my period isn't here by then, but I don't want to keep testing because it's so expensive and I don't want to waste all that money on nothing lol, it wont make me any more or less pregnant yano!? haha

Anyways thanks for the encouraging words and good ideas! I am super busy with school and work but at night it really gets to me, so I think night time is when I'll work on the scrap book!!

did you start your period??

 

[Kylarsmom]

Name: Ashley
Military Branch: army
How long he's been in: just commissioned 8 months ago
Currently Deployed?: not yet, deploying to Kandahar, Afg in September
How long you've been together: 2 years
How do you like the Military Life?: not liking it! grew up in a military family never got to reap the benefits of moving around like my brother did, now that my OH is in the army.. don't really like it at all

Hello!

 

[Louise3512uk]

Hi everyone I posted in here months and months ago just a couple of times...

My husband is currently in Afghanistan, he's a RESA as part of the C-IED taskforce.
He's due to come home on R&R in 3 weeks and should finish his tour anywhere between end of April and end of May, there is speculation that he may have to stay a bit of extra time...otherwise it's end of April. Our daugter was born 6th September and he left when she was just 11 weeks old, he was originally due to leave when she was just 2 weeks but was delayed due to issues with his children from previous marriage...

I'm finding it really hard at the moment, it comes in fits and starts, it's always difficult but just being so close yet so far to seeing him! I want to freeze time, I don't want our baby to grow up anymore before he see's her! She will be just over 6 months when he's home on R&R, a massive difference to the 11 week old he left behind It makes me so sad that he will never get this time back... I am forever sending photos and videos, but it's just really difficult.

I hope everyone is ok, and anyone with deployed soldiers is coping fine x

 

[Nimyra]

Big hugs, Louise, it is really hard and you are doing a great job. I bet he loves seeing those videos and pictures. I don't really know what else to say... when my DH got home LO was just under 6 months old and they had to get re-acquainted which was hard, but now they are doing great together. I know DH is sad about the time he missed.

Just wanted to say you aren't alone.

 

[22carly22]

Hi Hi Hi everyone! Anyone @ Fort Knox?


Name: Carly
Military Branch: Army
How long he's been in: 2 1/2 Years
Currently Deployed?: Yep, and it just started, and it sucks!
How long you've been together: 5 years married for 3
How do you like the Military Life?: Nope, not a fan, I'm prior service in the Coast Guard and I didn't like it then, but I can say that we are very fortunate to have a secure job in this economy so before I jinx us I'll stop complaining!

 

[LaceHeart]

Name: Kirsty
Military Branch: Royal Marines
How long he's been in: 4 years since training began
Currently Deployed?: Not yet as of mid march he can be sent anytim to the sandpit
How long you've been together: 2 and a bit years
How do you like the Military Life?: ok, come from a forces family

 

[LaceHeart]

Name: Kirsty
Military Branch: Royal Marines
How long he's been in: 4 years since training began
Currently Deployed?: Not yet as of mid march he can be sent anytim to the sandpit
How long you've been together: 2 and a bit years
How do you like the Military Life?: ok, come from a forces family

Oh and married for nearly a year x