Mission Impossible! 2 New Arrivals and 8 Little Ones x

[wannabemomy37]

OH really wants me to get some answers, as this is now my 4th chemical I'm taking it extremely harder this time, too. It sucks!! We are going to basically be WTT/NTNP again and just (TRY) not to even worry about this anymore. I can't go through this again, and every month is just so damn stressful that I've had enough. I'm leaving it up to the Angels above to let me know when my time will be. For some reason I am feeling very spiritual the last few days...Like, it's very sudden and strange to me, because although I've always believed in something, I never really acknowledged it or anything. Not sure why but I am really feeling the loss this time...Other times it was eh onto next cycle, but I'm absolutely crushed now

Looks like AF is such a WITCH this month Sorry girls...Hopefully April will be better!

 

[Dreambaby69]

Sorry ladies. That bitch needs to be stopped FULL STOP!!!! Ladies take as much time as u need cos ttc can be cruel. I really hope that the witch doesn't show for any of u again for the next 9 months xx

pal i will change the title now xx

 

[Krissykat1006]

OH really wants me to get some answers, as this is now my 4th chemical I'm taking it extremely harder this time, too. It sucks!! We are going to basically be WTT/NTNP again and just (TRY) not to even worry about this anymore. I can't go through this again, and every month is just so damn stressful that I've had enough. I'm leaving it up to the Angels above to let me know when my time will be. For some reason I am feeling very spiritual the last few days...Like, it's very sudden and strange to me, because although I've always believed in something, I never really acknowledged it or anything. Not sure why but I am really feeling the loss this time...Other times it was eh onto next cycle, but I'm absolutely crushed now

Looks like AF is such a WITCH this month Sorry girls...Hopefully April will be better!

One of the ladies in our FB group has had 2 chemical miscarriages, she went to see a specialist and they said it looks like she is not implanting, so now they are working on fixing that. That could possibly be whats going on with you as well, and a Dr maybe able to point you in the right direction on where to proceed. I'll relay this information to her and see if she will swing by here to share more information on what she's having to do. Big hugs to you

 

[wannabemomy37]

Thanks KK Yeah, I'm thinking I have late implantation which must not be a good thing? I always think I have IB after 11dpo in all 4 cases.
I am going to try to find a doc that will listen to me about it and get some answers. Planned Parenthood was no help whatsoever

 

[Krissykat1006]

I messaged her to swing by over here if she has the time. And I hope you find someone who will listen and will really help. Its already stressful enough TTC that when you try to get answers and no one wants to listen it just adds to the massive amounts of stress you already have.

 

[DD80]

OH really wants me to get some answers, as this is now my 4th chemical I'm taking it extremely harder this time, too. It sucks!! We are going to basically be WTT/NTNP again and just (TRY) not to even worry about this anymore. I can't go through this again, and every month is just so damn stressful that I've had enough. I'm leaving it up to the Angels above to let me know when my time will be. For some reason I am feeling very spiritual the last few days...Like, it's very sudden and strange to me, because although I've always believed in something, I never really acknowledged it or anything. Not sure why but I am really feeling the loss this time...Other times it was eh onto next cycle, but I'm absolutely crushed now

Looks like AF is such a WITCH this month Sorry girls...Hopefully April will be better!

Hi all! I have missed so much! I knew dream was pregnant, but Lou too? Congratulations!

Wannabe- Krissykat emailed me and wanted me to share my story. First, I know this is difficult and I'm sorry for what you are going through!

I have had 2 chemicals and a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I have no children. It started out last year in July, hubby and decided, why not try? So we did and 3 weeks later, we were pregnant. My hcg was normal and rising well and I had terrible Sickness, but at my 8 week ultrasound, there was a slow heartbeat. At 9 weeks, we had no heartbeat or growth. After that miscarriage, I had a positive pregnancy test before my first period...but it ended up just "going away" after a night of bad cramps. My period came about a week later. After that, I had 5 cycles until another positive in February. That one just never progressed correctly, and I lost it at 5 weeks, 1 day.

After that, I went to a reproductive endocrinologist and a naturopath. My gyno was like, "it's normal," but failed to take into account I have an autoimmune issue. This RE and my naturopath ran all sorts of tests...both really testing all sorts of different things. I found out that I have a genetic defect (which is very common) on my mthfr gene. This makes it difficult for me to make folic acid into folate and makes me prone to clotting. I must take vitamins with folate (not folic acid) in them. I also have high lipoprotein a, which makes sense when it comes to the clotting issue as raised lpa is usually linked to increased risk of cardiac disease. My dr says that my body builds up fibrin in my vessels (and probably my uterus) that I don't rid myself of...he likened it to Saran Wrap. He said that I am probably not implanting because of this. I also had low tumor necrosis factor (TNF) which shows my immune function was down. Oh, and I was positive for ebstein barr and hhv6. Many people have this latent immunity to these infections, but he believes it impairs TTC.

For me, all of this made sense because after my first miscarriage, my thyroid went crazy (gained weight quick) and my psoriasis went crazy, so my immune system was going crazy.

So, he put me on a regimen of vitamins, and high doses of acyclovir (anti viral) for 45 days. During this time, we did not try at all. Funny thing was, I realized that he was right - I was fertilizing, but not implanting - probably every month because my boobs had been so large for a long time and I had cramping/tiredness in the two week wait every month, but when we weren't trying...nothing. No symptoms, boobs reduced in size, low grade nausea went away.

Now we are trying and I have to be on heparin from cd 3 until 5 days after O. Heparin is a blood thinner. If I get pregnant, I must resume the heparin until at least 20 weeks. I will probably go to a high risk ob because of these issues. I'm also still on the high doses of fish oil, vitamin D, and folate/b12 as well.


Knowledge is power. While sometimes discouraging, it felt empowering to learn these things and find potential solutions to these problems. I hope everything works out for you! if you have questions, pleas feel free to ask. I may have forgotten something in this quick summary (sad that this is quick, eh? Lol)

 

[mirandaprice]

Its nice to hear from you DD, so glad you got some answers and have a plan of action for ttc.

 

[wannabemomy37]

Thanks DD for sharing your story. I have a lot of things happening that sound similar to yours, and that could explain my "unexplained weight gain" starting about when I had my first chemical back in December '12. OH says you have explained me to a Tee but I haven't noticed that much of a difference. Perhaps he is right though, as I do tend to have the symptoms a lot of the months since starting TTC and then I still end up with AF.
How did you get in touch with a reproductive endocrinologist and a naturopath? Does a doctor/OBGYN refer you? Do you have to be TTC for a year?
After my 2nd chemical I went to my OBGYN for a regular checkup and she asked me if I was ever pregnant before and I had to think about how to answer that, as I never got a BFP that time, yet I missed the whole month of May without AF and I was thought to be about 7 weeks. A few days into my period I lost some tissue that resembled a 5-week fetus and I told my OBGYN that and she really doubted me. She said it was very unlikely that I would even notice something like that and then went on to claim that I had a polyp which is very similar. It was heartbreaking because I know my body and I KNOW what I saw. It has a spinal formation and eyes. No way a polyp has that.
I just really need to find someone (doctor) who will listen to me and help me figure out why I cannot hold a pregnancy. I seem to get pregnant fairly quickly but they just don't stick, and have coincidentally noticed that I think I experience implantation much later than what is considered "normal" and perhaps the baby just doesn't have enough time to stick in there between then and expected AF?
Thank you again for your experience with this, it has already helped a ton


Ciara - I hope all is well and you are just busy??
Bomma - Did you forget about us?!?! Thinking bout you!!
Natasha - Is it time for your scan yet??? I wanna know if I'm right with guessing GIRL
Miranda - Hopefully baby James will wait until your family is all there with you! Have a little chat with him haha.
KK - Give hugs to baby Willow for me!!!! Is her reflux all under control now?? Are you getting any more sleep??

 

[DD80]

Thanks DD for sharing your story. I have a lot of things happening that sound similar to yours, and that could explain my "unexplained weight gain" starting about when I had my first chemical back in December '12. OH says you have explained me to a Tee but I haven't noticed that much of a difference. Perhaps he is right though, as I do tend to have the symptoms a lot of the months since starting TTC and then I still end up with AF.
How did you get in touch with a reproductive endocrinologist and a naturopath? Does a doctor/OBGYN refer you? Do you have to be TTC for a year?
After my 2nd chemical I went to my OBGYN for a regular checkup and she asked me if I was ever pregnant before and I had to think about how to answer that, as I never got a BFP that time, yet I missed the whole month of May without AF and I was thought to be about 7 weeks. A few days into my period I lost some tissue that resembled a 5-week fetus and I told my OBGYN that and she really doubted me. She said it was very unlikely that I would even notice something like that and then went on to claim that I had a polyp which is very similar. It was heartbreaking because I know my body and I KNOW what I saw. It has a spinal formation and eyes. No way a polyp has that.
I just really need to find someone (doctor) who will listen to me and help me figure out why I cannot hold a pregnancy. I seem to get pregnant fairly quickly but they just don't stick, and have coincidentally noticed that I think I experience implantation much later than what is considered "normal" and perhaps the baby just doesn't have enough time to stick in there between then and expected AF?
Thank you again for your experience with this, it has already helped a ton

That's pretty much me too...They just don't stick! I have a 12 day luteal phase and I think that was true before the first miscarriage too. After that cm, I had a shorter luteal phase...I'd start spotting on day 10. I used vitex, wheat grass, and progesterone to help me get that back to 12 with no spotting. Now, I don't use those thing anymore. We tested my progesterone recently and it was good.

My insurance does not require me to get a referral to go to a specialist, so I just went. I googled a good dr and was lucky he was covered by my insurance. If you have at least 3 mc's, you should be able to get a referral if you need one. The naturopath was not covered by insurance, but I was ready and willing to pay. I needed my thyroid straightened out and I wanted to get on a different med, so I picked one and went. She put me on the folate and an immune supplement as well (igg by xymogen). Oh, but my insurance does cover any bloodwork/diagnostic testing I have done, either by the re or the naturopath.

I'm sorry about your experience. I would guess you were probably further along than you think - perhaps the period you had was implantation. Some women still have slight bleeding even though they are pregnant. Either way, I'm sorry for your loss. I know my body too - you have to trust your gut on these things.

 

[loulou82baby]

I didn't mean to stay away ladies! Monday was a busy day and I've been so sick these last 2 days that I just wanted to crawl in a hole! I still have a wicked headache, but the rest of me feels better.

Miranda- happy 36 weeks! I hope James holds out for your family! I can't wait to meet him tho! How did your appt go? I hope your work has something planned for your leave!

Natasha- happy 18 weeks! Time is flying and the 30th is right around the corner, yay!

Kristi- happy 1 month to Willow, she is so beautiful! I'm glad she is more comfortable now, my ds had terrible reflux, but they never offered zantac, I wonder why? Anyways, so glad everything is sorting out for your family

Pickle and Jessie- big to you girls! That needs to get lost! Take a couple of days and indulge yourselves and know we're all here for you! Ttc can be such a miserable time!

Pickle- I'm sorry about your best friend moving. I know how that feels, several years ago my best friend moved 16 hrs away for a few years and it was so hard. She's thankfully back now because she decided to change jobs. Idk if I missed it, but why did she move if you don't mind me asking? Again, I'm sorry

Wannabe- big to you also. It's so hard not having answers and feeling helpless! I wish I could help more, but I can only share my experience like Miranda did. I had a few cycles that I always had a line on an hpt, idk if the other ladies remember because it was last fall, but the lines were on several different hpt's, very faint, but there. They would start around 9 dpo and be gone by 12 dpo, and spotting started somewhere in that time. I never had a late af, it actually kept coming early, leaving me more confused. I also had very clotty af's. One of these times I did go get a blood test, but after the bleeding had started, and it was obviously negative. My dr pretty much thought I was crazy and I was starting to think so to. Idk for sure what happened, but I thought I had a progesterone problem so I started on the cream and a b complex. Neither of those helped me to conceive or with my early spotting. Finally, on my 9th cycle, I stopped taking everything, except for a prenatal and fish oil. I had also taken the fish oil in cycle 8. Idk what did it, but I did conceive in my 9th cycle (without trying). My point is don't give up, my dr nor planned parenthood really wanted to listen, but there is always going to be someone who will if you keep looking. I almost looked into finding a naturopath because I thought they would be most likely to listen. You need to do what's best for you hun, and if you can afford it see if you can find one near you. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get answers soon. We are all here for you

Pal- I think that's a great deal for an hsg! Just for blood work I got a bill for $400! I'm excited for you and I wish you luck tomorrow! All you can do is try for the next 6 months and go from there. I would think that they would be willing to offer you more tests after your long ttc road, have you asked if there are anymore they are willing to do if your hsg comes out clear? I really hope this is just the boost you need and dh is on board for bd! Fx'ed for you!

Danielle- so good to hear from you! I'm sorry for everything you've been through but it's good to know that you have answers! I hope you get your sticky bean asap with no more heart break. I've missed you and I hope you keep stopping in to say hi on occasion and let us know how you're doing

 

[mirandaprice]

Happy 18 weeks dream!

 

[mirandaprice]

Wannabe - how are you today?

Pickle and Jessie - keep your chins up ladies...it's a rough journey, but I'm so hopeful you'll get your BFPs soon!

Pal - is your HSG today or tomorrow? I'm so crap at remembering these things!

Loulou - so sorry the sickness has been so bad, hope it eases up and goes away quickly!

My appointment is at 2:15pm, it's currently 10:42am ....seems so far away! And I'm so tired today! My anxiety is through the roof about next week, I just need it to go by fast and for this little guy to stay put until at least next Sunday!

 

[DD80]

Lou- congratulations! I didn't know you got a sticky bean! I'm so happy for you! I'm sorry you have been not feelin well though.

I'm sorry I haven't been back. I can't really explain why I haven't been...just trying to deal with my health and put baby on the back burner for a few months, I guess

Right now I'm 8dpo on my first cycle back. I'm very hopeful that this is it. I have to be on heparin during most of my cycle and then will have to restart it if I'm pregnant. It's annoying to take for me, so I hope this is my lucky cycle!

 

[Dreambaby69]

Thanks Miranda and Loulou x

DD welcome back, so sorry u are going through that. Hopefully this is it for u x

Loulou sorry u are feeling sick, it sucks right but it is all for a good cause x

Pal goodluck tomorrow x

 

[wannabemomy37]

Ciara - Yay you're back!! But so sorry you haven't been feeling well That could mean it's a boy though... Thank you for sharing your experience as well. It's sad how common Chemicals are and yet when I called planned parenthood I explained my situation and her response was "well are you keeping it?" wtf I was super super angry.

DD - I have been wondering if I have a progesterone problem because just recently (since TTC probably) I've had (beige/brown) spotting for a few days (even a week) before AF arrives. I also seem to have a 17-day LP which I know is very much longer than the typical 14-day so I'm not sure what that means?!?

Miranda - I am doing okay today, thanks. Just VERY sleepy. Like...I can hardly stay awake any longer. And I am dog-sitting so keep going back/forth about 30 min drive each way. It's exhausting, but I could use the $$$.

So looks like I should be adding fish oil, folate, b-12, vit D...And possibly progesterone cream. What doses are you girls taking? Is it possible to get the cream OTC or is it an RX?
OH and I have definitely decided to put TTC on the back burner atm and just focus on losing weight and spending more quality time with each other. This TTC has already changed our sex life and made us more stressed with each other each month, that we just need a break and whatever happens happens. Clearly we won't be preventing, so I guess it's NTNP again, which is fine.
I do want to look into my issues though because my first 2 losses were with my ex and now 2 more with my OH so it must be something with ME not them, although OH did get that sperm analysis at home kit and plans on doing that soon with me.

Random side-note/symptom - my RIGHT nipple was leaking colostrum (usually not much in this side) and it actually went on my shirt and I didn't even touch it. I don't know why sometimes I have hardly enough for a drop and sometimes it just leaks out...It's such a weird feeling because I feel that I just need a baby to nurse?! But apparently it's "normal" for me also.

 

[fairyy]

DD80: Sorry for the past but I pray future to be beautiful with those two pink lines.

Wannabe: Hope these strange things stop to happen to you soon. Enjoy your NTNP life, bring that romantic spark back to your life which TTC has taken away. TTC is cruel.

Natasha: Few more days till gender scan How are you planning to reveal the gender to friends and family ?

Ciara: Aww hun Hope you feel better. We definitely miss you when you take a break even for a day or two.

Miranda: How did the appointment go ? Hope little man stays in there till Sunday as you want.

Jessie and Kerry: I hope AF isn't torturing you ! Have a talk with her to not to come again for next 9months. We don't have place for her anymore.

Kristi: How is our little princess doing ?

AFM: DH wanted me to wait till next month for HSG and watch this month for ovulation spotting. But ovulation spotting is not the only reason I am going for HSG. It is for fertility testing too and I said that to him. He is not up for fertility testing now though I am 30 and he is 35. But anyways I am going for HSG tomorrow. I have a feeling that again I have to struggle for some BD in fertile window this time. This man is giving me hard time when it comes to TTC. I am not liking it. I cried to sleep last night. Same thing keeps on repeating each month around fertile time. We have been trying for 20months but from that may be 7/8months are actual TTC. I am not liking this.

 

[wannabemomy37]

Fairy - TTC is definitely a very cruel game if you ask me! I think it can really put unneeded stress on an otherwise perfect relationship. OH and I used to have an amazing sex life and then just recently it's almost like it's become a chore and it's just not as passionate and meaningful as it was before. So we are going to go back to the way things used to be and then maybe we will get a much-wanted surprise!

 

[fairyy]

Fairy - TTC is definitely a very cruel game if you ask me! I think it can really put unneeded stress on an otherwise perfect relationship. OH and I used to have an amazing sex life and then just recently it's almost like it's become a chore and it's just not as passionate and meaningful as it was before. So we are going to go back to the way things used to be and then maybe we will get a much-wanted surprise!

Thanks for the hun. I needed it

 

[DD80]

Thank you dream and fairy for the support!

Wannabe - it sounds like your LP is pretty good...even 14 days is great! You might still want to get your progesterone tested just to see.

I take fish oil (3/day), folate (800 mg 3/day), vitamin d 5000iu, prenatal w/iodine, magnesium, a probiotic, and lysine. He also has me doing 30 mins of full body sun /week and I'm supposed to do 30 mins of exercise in the evenings...which was fine until I hurt my calf/ankle. I try for at least 3/week until I'm healed. I'm trying to think what else he put me on...since I take other vitamins anyway... If I think of more, I'll let you know.
Eta: and my diet is 100g protein and 100g carb per day. I worry about getting all the protein in and let carbs fall into place. I'm not always perfect, but it is easier since I'm gluten, dairy, and mostly egg free anyway.

 

[Pickletilly]

Welcome back dd nice to see you have some answers. Good luck

Afm it's my turn to have that depressive day. AF has kicked in and tearing my emotions apart. Tried calling doctors - no appointments left (you have to book it on the day). Ridiculous. So frustrated with TTC.