Hi all,
I'm so happy, I could fly! My HCG dropped to 96
I would be content with a 120 (which would be 30% off, just like last week), but 96! It's almost 50% off! Oh my, I'm so relieved. I don't know what Wednesday's test was about, but I won't think about that no more!
Rox - I think I subconsciously knew there was something wrong with my pmp; but I can't be sure, since it was my first pregnancy ever. Anyway, I just couldn't let myself believe that I was actually carrying a baby, and was expecting something wrong would happen any moment. But it's kind of my character anyway, so I really don't know. I hope I can tell the difference when I'm carrying my rainbow baby, sometime in the future.
Anyway, I visited my grandma today. She had no idea of my pregnancy or loss (we didn't tell our families) but somehow the conversation came to being a mother. And she said something that made me teary-eyed.
She said being pregnant or giving birth is no pain at all; but it all begins after that. That you worry every single day and minute about your child, even after s/he is a grown up. And when my mother was born (her first child), she would watch her while sleeping and wonder "is this most beatiful thing really mine?" I hope I can feel like that some day...