Molar and Partial Molar Pregnancy Support Group

[B&LsMom]

They expect Blake to be in the cast 3-4 weeks, and then either into a short cast or a walking boot--he has another x-ray appointment scheduled for next Friday, which is also the day they are doing the internal ultrasound to re-check my right ovary for cysts--and I'm sure I will have to do another blood draw in there as well--not looking forward to that day!!

 

[Alwilan]

Amanda, just wondering how you, Noah and Luc were getting on ?

 

[avgabcon5]

Hello ladies - hope everyone is ok. I can't believe I'm back on here to ask for your support but I am absolutely heartbroken and devastated at the moment. I haven't slept a wink all night and I feel sick. We are about 5 weeks off from being able to TTc again and my OH and I have both been taking pregnancare pills etc and eating healthily to prepare. I've been getting really excited thinking that being pregnant again will finally help me move on from my molar in June. Last night he told me he didn't want any more children - just straight out like that. He won't even discuss it - I was hysterical, sobbing and ended up having a panic attack. Talk about timing. He said we have 3 children that he loves but he doesn't want another one. We were trying for the molar one for 6 months - I don't understand. I've asked whether he's worried about my health etc and he says no so it's not that. I don't know what to do - we'd always agreed on 4. I honestlt feel sick. I've askedf to think carefully to make sure and he just says 'I've said no'. I don't whether I can forgive him - I think it's going to destroy us. I don't want my children to be from a broken home but i don't think I can forgive someone who has snatched my dream away at the last minute. Thanks for reading - you have all been wonderful in the past and helped me so much but I really don't know what to do with this one as there is no hope now. x

 

[Alwilan]

I am so sorry. I know how after a molar our focus becomes having a successful pregnancy in the future, and to have that snapped away at the end must be devastating. I would not give up all hope, men are notorious at hiding their fears and maybe it is money worries or job security that is causing him to react like this. I would arrange a babysitter and go out to discuss things, he has to understand he can't just say no without full reasons just like you can't demand a baby, but hopefully the underlying reason will come out to why he feels like this and hopefully you will be able to have your baby. Don't give up hope, for the last however long he has wanted a baby it has only been the last few days he has had a change of heart, don't get too down until you have had a proper discussion. Wish i could come over and give you a hug now x

 

[avgabcon5]

Thanks Debs. I really don't think he's going to change his mind - he said he agreed to a 4th only for me - he didn't really want one. And he said he's wanted to tell me for ages but wanted to see me through the post molar follw up first!! So just as I'm getting all excited and relieved to finally be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel he thinks it's a good time to tell me?! It's almost like he was relieved this one didn't go full term - if all had gone fine in about 7 weeks we'd have new baby here - I've said he would love another baby just as much as the others. Life feels really unfair sometimes - we've had a lot to deal with over the last 3 years and now he's hurting me so much.
It's not money issue or job security - we're fine there. We have always said 4 children - I feel like the grief floodgates have all been opened again.
I just don't know what to do.

 

[Alwilan]

I wish I knew what to do x Have you explained to him you still want 4 children, it is so hard because there is no middle ground or compromise, you either have a baby or you don't.
Obviously I don't know him from Adam, but I'm sure he is/was not relieved about the outcome of your molar x
I know he has said this is not the reason, but maybe he just doesn't want to see you go through any more pain. I know it destroyed Nick, my hubby, watching me fall apart each time, and I know of several men who have put their foot down to no more babies after seeing their wives have traumatic labours - they might not show it, but they hate seeing us in pain, physically and emotionally, and the best answer to this is avoidance.
The only thing I can suggest is try and leave things for a couple of weeks, and then try and discuss things again x

 

[Mummy2Corban]

They expect Blake to be in the cast 3-4 weeks, and then either into a short cast or a walking boot--he has another x-ray appointment scheduled for next Friday, which is also the day they are doing the internal ultrasound to re-check my right ovary for cysts--and I'm sure I will have to do another blood draw in there as well--not looking forward to that day!!

Hopefully a short cast or boot will help blake. Will be thinking of you when you have your scan there not the most comfortable are they! Fingers crossed your levels are still dropping too! Let us know how it goes hun xxx

 

[Mummy2Corban]

Hello ladies - hope everyone is ok. I can't believe I'm back on here to ask for your support but I am absolutely heartbroken and devastated at the moment. I haven't slept a wink all night and I feel sick. We are about 5 weeks off from being able to TTc again and my OH and I have both been taking pregnancare pills etc and eating healthily to prepare. I've been getting really excited thinking that being pregnant again will finally help me move on from my molar in June. Last night he told me he didn't want any more children - just straight out like that. He won't even discuss it - I was hysterical, sobbing and ended up having a panic attack. Talk about timing. He said we have 3 children that he loves but he doesn't want another one. We were trying for the molar one for 6 months - I don't understand. I've asked whether he's worried about my health etc and he says no so it's not that. I don't know what to do - we'd always agreed on 4. I honestlt feel sick. I've askedf to think carefully to make sure and he just says 'I've said no'. I don't whether I can forgive him - I think it's going to destroy us. I don't want my children to be from a broken home but i don't think I can forgive someone who has snatched my dream away at the last minute. Thanks for reading - you have all been wonderful in the past and helped me so much but I really don't know what to do with this one as there is no hope now. x

First of all Im so sorry to hear your going through this. How are things now? Are they any better? It must be so hard to hear those words so close to you being able to try again. I think us ladies get so focused on a rainbow baby that it hurts so much. Without bad mouthing your other half its unfair that he took the vitamins with you and then turned round and said no but maybe his just worried and hasnt chosen the best way to show it? I wish i could be of more help but i can offer an ear and hugs xxx

 

[Mummy2Corban]

So ladies how are you all?

Called for my levels yesterday and they went up to 6! She said not to worry as sometimes they jump around alittle just before they drop below 5! So ill call tomorrow for mondays results and hopefully they have dropped. Just waiting for the 6 week count down! Just wanna be able to think properly about my rainbow!!!! xxx

 

[B&LsMom]

They expect Blake to be in the cast 3-4 weeks, and then either into a short cast or a walking boot--he has another x-ray appointment scheduled for next Friday, which is also the day they are doing the internal ultrasound to re-check my right ovary for cysts--and I'm sure I will have to do another blood draw in there as well--not looking forward to that day!!

Hopefully a short cast or boot will help blake. Will be thinking of you when you have your scan there not the most comfortable are they! Fingers crossed your levels are still dropping too! Let us know how it goes hun xxx

Got last Fridays results---down to 27. I'm going to do my blood draw Thursday after work to have 1 less thing that needs to be done on Friday. My weekly order just goes through this week and the nurse was hopefully we don't need to work out about blood work around the time I will be out of town for work mid-month as if it will be under 3 (which is what they will consider "normal")--then they will switch me to monthly. But last week was a little under a 50% drop so I have a feeling I've still got a little ways to go. I've never had an internal ultrasound so don't know much of what to expect. Will I get to watch I wonder??--I hate being left in the dark on not knowing what they are seeing. I'm still have cyst like pains on both sides and was hoping I was ovulating again as it's being going on for the last 2 weeks starting to worry they will need to do something about the cysts which would probably mean another surgery : /

 

[B&LsMom]

So ladies how are you all?

Called for my levels yesterday and they went up to 6! She said not to worry as sometimes they jump around alittle just before they drop below 5! So ill call tomorrow for mondays results and hopefully they have dropped. Just waiting for the 6 week count down! Just wanna be able to think properly about my rainbow!!!! xxx

I think I read somewhere there can be some variation between the lab tech reading the results that can be blamed for those small variations--It would have been nice to vary in the downward direction tho

 

[avgabcon5]

Thanks for yourreplies ladies. Well I thought we'd had a bit of a breakthrough on Monday night as I said I realised I'd been too focussed on the countdown to TTC and that I'd ease off a bit with 'obsessing' about being pregnant again and focus on us as a couple more and could we agree to think about it again in a few months and he agreed. Now he says it's still a no and that he said about waiting in oder to 'give me time to accept the situation' (??!) He still hasn't given a real reason as to why he's changed his mind and refuses to talk to me about it all. He thinks he can just drop a bombshell like that, that he knew would devastate me and that he can give me quick hug and we just forget it and move on, no questions asked. Surely a decision like that (going back on everything that had been agreed and talked about) should be talked about? As a family we have been through a lot of stress, worry and upheavel over the last 2 1/2 years and he knew how much having this last baby means to me so I don't know how he can hurt me this much. He won't even admit that the way he told me and the timing was wrong. He has let me spend hours researching molar pregnancies, let me buy ovulation monitors, taken wellmen tablets, agreed when I said we'd try just before the end of my follow up and loads more things. We tried for 6 months for the (molar) pregnancy and he says he didn't really want that one but was doing it for me - why hasthat changed? I'd be bringing my baby home in 6-7 weeks if this one hadn't gone wrong. I'm sorry I'm waffling on and gabbling. Actually although I am incredibly upset I am more angry with him at the moment - I feel he has just lied to me and led me on to make it easier for him. He should have told me straight away or even better before I even got pregnant last time if he felt that strongly about a 4th. How do we (as a couple) get through this? At the moment when I just look at him, I despise him. He is so matter of fact about it. I don't know if I can forgive him.
Thanks for reading
Eleanor x

 

[Alwilan]

Eleanor, gutted to read your post had hoped there may have been a change of heart. I can understand feeling betrayed, I would. I don't know why he bothered trying before the molar if he didn't want one? That would annoy me, in 'slight' fairness to him, I can imagine it has been a hard subject to bring up post molar, but misleading you with taking vitamins and agreeing to the countdown to TTC. I hope he may still change his mind, I don't know how you as a couple would deal with this if not, I don't know if their is an orgnasisation that could offer counselling? The other thing I suppose is just to try and focus on what you do have, a husband and 3 lovely children, but I know this is easier said than done, as I don't honestly know how I would have coped if I had been told the same thing post molar/mmc.
Sending you more hugs x x
Take Care of Yourself, Debs

 

[Jamaris Mummy]

hi to everyone

at my antenatal class last night the midwife read out a passage that i would like to share with everyone. It was intended for the purpose to communicate to the expectant mothers that although they may have a birth plan in mind, things may not go as planned, and to try and embrace whatever happens. For me tho, as it was being read, it took on a different meaning, it made me think about my partial molar pregnancy, my baby Jamari and all you ladies at different stages of the journey. It bought tears to my eyes. I hope you can all find a little peace in it, message, or line that helps you through whatever you are going through at the moment and in the future. It sure made me think, and look at things in a different light. I truly hope it helps you all. The passage is called "Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley.

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability, to try to help people whos have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel, its like this..

When your going to have a baby, its like planning a fabulous vacation trip, to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. Its all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says "Welcome to Holland".

"Holland?!" you say, "What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! Im supposed to be in Italy! All my life Ive dreamed of going to Italy"

But theres been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they havent taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

Its just a different place. Its slower-paced then Italy, less flashy then Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around....and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say "Yes thats where I was supposed to go. Thats what I had planned".

And the pain of that will never ever ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didnt get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.


x

 

[Sarahwoo]

Thats lovely Kate

 

[Sarahwoo]

Avgabcon5 I'm so sorry to read what you're going through, I have no real advice but want to send you some

 

[tung]

Avgabcon5 - *hugs**

Jamaris Mummy - thanks for the passage - it was very nice.

How is everybody doing?

I'm waiting for a call from the doctor regarding my hcg levels and blood test I did last night. Hopefully it continues to drop.

 

[Mummy2Corban]

Avgabcon5 - Sending you hugs. I really feel for you right now as i think i would feel hurt right now. Prehaps let things calm down for a bit and then acess the situation. Dont rush into things right now as emotions are running high. I can understand how hurtful it must feel to be in the mind set of getting ready for another baby. Sending you massive hugs and keep us updated.

Jamaris mummy - Thank you! That bought a little tear to my eye when i read it this morning tis very true. How are you? Not long!!!!

Tung - Fingers crossed for your levels!

As for me my levels on monday are back to 5! Im hoping tomorrow will give me the result of 4!!! Got everything crossed.

xxxxx

 

[Mummy2Corban]

They expect Blake to be in the cast 3-4 weeks, and then either into a short cast or a walking boot--he has another x-ray appointment scheduled for next Friday, which is also the day they are doing the internal ultrasound to re-check my right ovary for cysts--and I'm sure I will have to do another blood draw in there as well--not looking forward to that day!!

Hopefully a short cast or boot will help blake. Will be thinking of you when you have your scan there not the most comfortable are they! Fingers crossed your levels are still dropping too! Let us know how it goes hun xxx

Got last Fridays results---down to 27. I'm going to do my blood draw Thursday after work to have 1 less thing that needs to be done on Friday. My weekly order just goes through this week and the nurse was hopefully we don't need to work out about blood work around the time I will be out of town for work mid-month as if it will be under 3 (which is what they will consider "normal")--then they will switch me to monthly. But last week was a little under a 50% drop so I have a feeling I've still got a little ways to go. I've never had an internal ultrasound so don't know much of what to expect. Will I get to watch I wonder??--I hate being left in the dark on not knowing what they are seeing. I'm still have cyst like pains on both sides and was hoping I was ovulating again as it's being going on for the last 2 weeks starting to worry they will need to do something about the cysts which would probably mean another surgery : /

27 Is great The smaller my numbers got the smaller the drop which is annoying. To start off with they were more than halfing each time. It wont be long though hun. I look forward to just sending urine in! Hate blood tests....my veins are bruised!!!! When i went in for my dating scan (when they found the mole) I had 2 internals and i watched on a screen then when they checked to see why i was bleeding i could see the screen then. Ive been having twinges on both sides but im just putting that down to things trying to work! I think i just had a period so it might explain all the feelings i get. I really hope its not the cysts as with all this going on you dont need another surgery. Let us now how it goes. Ill have my fingers crossed for you xxx

 

[tung]

called the doctor today.. levels went from 1453 last week to 290 as of last night.

Is that fast? I don't really know what to expect.

My doctor's out for the afternoon and won't be returning until tomorrow. So I won't get a call until tomorrow.