Mother of all conception months Graduates

[madcatwoman]

Does anyone have concerns that new grandparents- to- be will be turning up a little too often once the baby is born?.

I have this concern about my MIL. Certain things that have happened so far are giving me that impression. I like my own space, and when we have our baby im going to need the bonding time and learn by trial and error, as appossed to someone looking over my shoulder all the time. If MIL visits once a week that would be more than just about right for me, but i dont think its going to be that way.

thing is, upset mum in law by me perhaps saying "id just like to spend some time alone with the baby, maybe you could pop by once a week" and i think i'll be upsetting DH (him&his mum are close). I foresee some tricky situations!.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

No worries there. My parents are over 5000 miles away in California, but I hope they will come over for a while when the baby is born. My MIL sadly passed away in March so she won't be able to see LO

 

[gilz82]

I really think about these things you need to be honest Madcat.

I don't see my MIL being around too much but if that was to happen i would need to tell her nicely.

I think the time after just giving birth especially with first babies will be a huge learning curve. I certainly get the feeling that no matter how much reading you do we'll never be prepared for the rush of emotions and responsibility we get when our babies come home with us. If you want space to be able to get settled etc then you should be allowed to ask for it.

 

[madcatwoman]

i think im seriously going to have to talk to DH nearer the time, but BEFORE baby is born (so that he doesnt put what im going to say down to hormones or PND or something!), some people love it, but im one of those who are quite independant, if i want help then i ask for it, i like to learn by myself, i like time to myself. There are things MIL has said/done that suggests she would like to be involved a bit more than once a week, i would get easily overwhelmed with very regular visits. My dad came over today who said that he wont be crowding us and no need to worry, i spoke to him about it who said if i think its going to be a problem to nip it in the bud before it gets worse.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Hee hee, just spoke with my dad. He has the best ways of cheering me up! I asked him if he was happy about being a grandpa and he said he won't know until he, quote, "meets the little booger." He also said my mom is still in shock and thinks she's too young to be a grandma.

 

[vbaby3]

Madcat,gladly I don't have that problem.My parents are an hr and a half south,and dh's family are an hr and a half north.Sometimes I wish they were closer as I never never have me time!would love to have a close by babysitter so I could get out on my own now and again,or me and dh could get out without having to plan a month in advance for 1 of the grannies to come babysit!
I certaintly wouldn't want anyone in my face,and also love my space,so know exactly where you're coming from.
You'll definately need to get dh to speak to her,and say you want your own space for the 1st while anyway.After that you can use mil to your advantage and let her come take baby once a wk to give you a break,or go get your hair done or go shopping alone!
I would've really appreciated someone to take mine,even for an hr just for a wee break.
You might not think so now but you'll prob be really glad of a break too,that way everyones happy!!
I wouldn't get too wound up about it just now,but dh will have to have a wee subtle word with her,and hopefully she'll leave yous to settle into your own routine and to bond.x

 

[molly85]

lol i'm in big trouble my dads my stand by birthpartner as matt works over 3/4 hour foot to the floor from the hospital i'l use. my parents will ring maybe but only be there when needed they know i'm super independant and the inlawsmay actually for get theres a baby lol.

 

[molly85]

yay for scan booo for faint tests hope it was just weak pee

 

[madcatwoman]

lol i'm in big trouble my dads my stand by birthpartner as matt works over 3/4 hour foot to the floor from the hospital i'l use. my parents will ring maybe but only be there when needed they know i'm super independant and the inlawsmay actually for get theres a baby lol.

thats what i like!

has anyone been on the 2nd tri forum today?, a girl had a 20 week scan and was told she had been leaking amniotic fluid, she said she thought it was just discharge she had been noticing.

i get a load of discharge, it varys from thick to watery, how are we to know if its bad????

 

[molly85]

wait til 20 week scan? not a clue other wise i'm not to keen on the stuff thatlooks like you have a bad cold down there as I'm sooooo clean and it's not wiffy

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

madcat hon have that talk with DH and def before baby is born

I am alot more assertive where MIL is concerned than I was when Oliver was born and honestly the women turned up nearly every day around 10am to `bath and dress Oliver` She drove me DH would go off to work and I would wait for MIL to arrive. My Mum said to me `why do you let her, say summat or do summat!` So I started to get myself dressed, ready and Oliver bathed, dressed and ready to go out for her arrival I would just say on her arrival `am sorry I should have rang you/or sorry I didnt know you would def be coming today but I have an appointment/coffee date with a friend/a loooooooooooooong bus journey (away from you ) planned. I found it hard to tell her not to come and I wanted bonding time and also like my alone time with Oliver but found it hard been only 22yrs old to stand up to MIL whos the head of DH`s family With this LO I will simply be just telling her and I will prob have school run to do anyway so perfect excuse! She can see LO plenty in the 1st days and then Me DH Oliver and LO need our family space I will shout on her when I am on Mat leave to sit so I can have some me time but I wont stand her being overbearing again!

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

madcat I would worry too....I am regularly `leaking` and my pants are often a little wet.....nothing offensive at all and I had very similar with Oliver so it didnt strike me as `wrong` but how would we know if it was amniotic fluid

 

[gilz82]

Oh wow girls so basically what we have learnt today is that apparently the 2nd tri forum is as scary as the 1st tri one!!

I was just googling it and apparently if you are loosing amniotic fluid that you will feel more wet like you have pee'd yourself rather than sticky cm wet if that makes sense. Also it's supposed to smell really sicky sweet.

Fx'd that girl is ok, although i just read that the advice is usually complete bed rest and extreme fluid consumption, and hopefully it won't affect any of us lot.

 

[loopylollipop]

Gilz awww how cute, love your little jellybean. Beautiful try and enjoy now, its amazing how quick time goes when you chill out. I cant believe I am nearly ten weeks - the last two have gone so quick now I have stopped stressing.

Mamadonna - hope its implantation - good luck hun such a shame you have to wait so long for a scan.

Madly poor you and having a little one and working must be so hard. Takes me all my time to drag myself out of bed to go work and I dont have half of your committments x

 

[loopylollipop]

Sounds right Gilz amniotic fluid is straw-coloured fluids that is just like wee. And it does have a distinctive smell. Having said that have noticed that my wee smells very ...well sweet. Sorry if tmi! Am glad I am having MW appointment tomorrow so the can dipstick it and make sure no infection. No other symptoms so probably ok. Miss my GP bag, had all my urine testing kit in it but had to give it back. No call for it in psychiatry.....

It is very difficult to work out what is what down yonder, even for those in the know!

Like you say Gilz think treatment is bed rest, and fingers crossed the leak seals itself x

 

[gilz82]

Thanks Loopy i am trying just to relax now and look forward to my bump appearing

You get a prune tomorrow it's quite strange how we all think of our babies in proportion with fruit and veg now

 

[loopylollipop]

Thanks Loopy i am trying just to relax now and look forward to my bump appearing

You get a prune tomorrow it's quite strange how we all think of our babies in proportion with fruit and veg now

I know its funny. Had an olive yesterday and felt like I had just eaten my baby.

Dont often eat prunes so will be ok for a week!

I too cant wait for my bump!! Exciting yay!

 

[molly85]

it's a plumb after lime, i like plumbs!
just got my birthday prezzie off my dad 2 crisp £50's I do like them lol oh what i could buy. yup loads of wool dresses and leggings lol. ohh actually i know what baby bouncer I want so that will cover it nicely.

I'm taking the bedrest straw girls A ilove my bed and B thats the way my luck goes

 

[madcatwoman]

Yes madly, i have to be assertive then i will, i have already spoken to DH about it actually and said i want the fist few weeks/months to be bonding with the baby and getting to know how to do things, learn from mistakes but if i need help then i'll ask for it, i said to him im worried his mum will be here every few days, he doesnt think so, says shes got too many dinner dates with her chums all the time, but we will see, but i will say something and/or do similar as you when you had the problem.

As for the leaks down there, its really hard to tell isnt it, ive had discharge from the day before my BFP, and moments when i have felt it and thought it might be blood and run off to check. I wish i hadnt read all that now!.

yes Gilz, the moral is, 2nd tri is no less scary than the 1st!. will 3rd tri be any better i wonder!??.

And loopy your not the only one with wee 'smells', mine does too, not sure what off, i try not to smell it!, ive not long had one of those urine tests done though (its to check for protein), the MW didnt say anythng was wrong.

 

[madcatwoman]

it's a plumb after lime, i like plumbs!
just got my birthday prezzie off my dad 2 crisp £50's I do like them lol oh what i could buy. yup loads of wool dresses and leggings lol. ohh actually i know what baby bouncer I want so that will cover it nicely.

I'm taking the bedrest straw girls A ilove my bed and B thats the way my luck goes

thats a nice tidy sum, £50 notes, cant remember the last time i saw those!. My dad bless his heart always gives me £30 for birthdays, the same amount we used to get as kids / teens at xmas time.