Mother of all conception months Graduates

[PeanutBean]

Oh and it's a good thing she did as my dad got made redundant when i was 11. She was only actually actually earning for 2 years. My dad was an architect and went fully self employed after the building sector picked up again after the crash in 1991. (Bloody Tories) But he never earnt much after that so mum's been the breadwinner for almost forever.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

thats exactly what i mean you never know what is going to happen around the corner even if it just means that your wage enables a coule of months grace should ajob loss occur very sensible in these days . . unfortunately although have to say although i love being a mummy those times at work were like a bit of a break, i onlythink i dont feel guilty about it because he was with his daddy whilst i worked instead of nursery or childminder, my friends mum was a child minder and i will never forget this woman bursting into tears when shehad to tell her she had missed her sons first steps, she worked 6 daytimes a week dropped him off at 7am and picked up at 6pm so was bound to happen and she obviously needed to work to pay thebills but my goodness i feel incredibly fortunate that although i have to workto contribute i do not have to work THAT much at this point in their lives poor woman

 

[Sofiekirsten]

Evening All,

Well after my post earlier I had to ring NHS direct because Jacob just wouldn't stop eating he took 12oz of milk and 4oz of water within 4 hours and was looking for some more food! So we were adviced to take him to hospital as he was abit sweaty aswell.

The doctor has said it's definatley his reflux and he is using the food to sooth it. and 10 mins ago he projectile vomited again. The doctor also said if he persits with the projectile vomiting to take him back to A & E.

I am not having suicidal thoughts but I did break down to DH the other night as he had to pop out for work and I begged him not to go because I don't think I can handle looking after him on my own and I was saying that I regret having him and I just want a normal happy baby (wishful thinking).

As much as I hate admitting it I did scream at Jacob yesterday, he just wouldn't stop crying and I was pulling my hair out and decided to promptly scream at him and told him to shut the F up and then I broke down in tears.

I'm not really that sleep deprived to be honest because he does so well at nights he usually falls asleep after his last feed at around 11:30 and sleeps until around 5 or 6am has a feed and falls back to sleep until around 10am.

I was rather shocked at what the HV said about the pills but to be honest I want to speak to the doctor about them first and see what he thinks. It maybe that I won't need them but with the added pain of my coil and Jacobs reflux atm I think they might be a good option.

Jacob has his jabs tomorrow so ontop of having his reflux and screaming all day no doubt we will have a horrible night tomorrow.

Thank you for you advice ladies, I really appreciate it.

 

[madcatwoman]

Morning all

Oh sofie, sounds like youre having a really awful time of it at the moment, and not too dissimilar to what gilz is going through as well. Not good having the jas as well, you could both do without those at he moment

Well, i think bailey s going thru a phase, he woke at 12, 2.30, 5 and 6, only one of those times was he actually hungry, the rest of the time he was just awake!. I was never up that many times when he was new born!!lol. Im hoping he settles soon.

 

[tas1]

Morning ladies

Sofie I'm sure that there are many ladies guilty of shouting at their baby I am one of them,I did shout at Caden once and felt guilty ever since but tiredness not knowing what wrong and how to help it's really hard for first time mums and to have a baby who has reflux is extremely hard. I hope you don't have to go on pills for the reason the oter ladies have given but if they help and make you feel better then we will support you on it! You have done an amazing job to say you need help and your not coping how you thought you would so well done. Your doing an amazing job xx

Cat does he sleep alot in the day?

Xx

 

[gilz82]

SK sorry you are having such a hard time of it. Did they give you any advice on how to manage the reflux?

I'll tell you the things I've been told and learned and hopefully they help.

After feeding hold Jake uptight for at least 20 minutes to help the food stay down, if you have a bouncer with quite a high back then you can use that but he needs to be almost upright.

Stack his Moses basket/crib so the head end is elevated.

Try to get Jake to take a dummy after his feeds. The sucking action works two fold. It creates saliva which dilutes the acid and the sucking action encourages the muscle at the top of the stomach to stay closed.

I know how hard this one will be but you really need to try to stop letting him comfort feed. Noah was a comfort feeder to start with his reflux. Some days he was eating every 90 mins. It makes things so much worse. They don't need that much food or water and it it only aggravates their stomach and oesophagus. If Jake is like Noah he'll be screaming for the food so you need to try dummies, rocking him, walking with him even if it's only round the room. Also gentle bouncing and swaying are meant to help although they dint work for us.

I know not feeding him is probably the last thin you want to do but it's always been strongly stressed to me that the problem will never get better and the vomitting won't reduce when they are getting as much food.

The comfort eating won't last forever, and hopefully Jake will grow out of his reflux quickly. But even in Noahs case where his reflux is getting worse with age we've now switched to the state where he refuses to feed and it takes and hour and a lot of persuasion to get him to eat.

Take all of the support where you can get it, I don't necessarily mean meds but if they are what you feel you need by all means take them. Lean on your DH, any friends or family nearby and make sure you get some time where you can just step back from Jake. It's the one thing I lack with my OH working away and after 14 weeks of a screaming reflux baby mostly on my own it is really starting to take it's toll.

Keep talking to us, even if it's to vent and hopefully things will improve for you both soon

 

[madcatwoman]

Tas, Bailey has a few naps durring the day, but no longer than 20-30mins at a time, just power naps.
Last evening however he slept in my arms from 7-8 had a feed then from 8-10 which is bed time, his injections had an effect an he was screaming from 6.00, gave him calpol, i was rockinh him, then he finally settled.

Usually he gets really tired by about 8-8.30pm.

Dh thinks i should keep him awake in the evenings but i dont see how, you would end up with just a really upset baby who just wants to sleep!

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

my parents used to keep us up until midnight so we would sleep 12-6am but when i had leo i just could not keep him up until then, i think his naps used to be

awake at 7am
9-10 nap
12-2 nap
4-5nap
7-8 nap
10-7am sleep

maybe the only reason we stayed up until that late as little babies was because we were so over tired?

having a bad day again, what is more frustrating not having dh here for 14 days or on the first day of him being here he gets on with his things whilst i yet again look after ds solo? im defo going for the latter. i have told him i am packing ds a bag they can both go out for a couple of hours

 

[molly85]

cat abby sleeps of an evenibg 6-7 ish she then wakes feeds and bath etc and is usually sound asleep by 9 tik 3 am. I might wake her for a bath but to keep her awake just to clean her. eugh ther must be 10 flys ib here i hate using fly spray

 

[madcatwoman]

Looking at those nap times, maybe bailey isnt having long enough sleeps in the day, which are mounting up in the evening instead. Then again, he has always had an evening sleep and slept thru till 5-6am ok
The only thing that has changed is that hes in a travel cot in our room. hes been in it for about 5 nights or something now,hes probably slept thru ok for 2-3 of those nights!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Alex doesn't sleep much during the day anymore, but he's only waking about once or twice at night now. I try and get out with the pram and that usually gives him a good hour or two in the afternoon, but it's lonely walking by yourself, lol!

 

[gilz82]

Napping is something I really have an issue with Noah. He barely sleeps during the day and then is horrendous at night as you girls know so barely sleeps then either. Rinse lather and repeat for a few days and then he crashes and barely stays awake during that day.

Night time is so bad with his reflux I'll never fix that just now but if he would at least nap properly during the day he'd be getting enough sleep not to have the day when he crashes

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

I read somewhere that newborns like to sleep on average every two hours so i based leos routine on that

and as he dropped naps and reduced times he sort of fell into his own routine. also when i was trying to get him to sleep more at night ie 7pm to 7am with a dream feed the way a lot of people doing it were to ensure they were getting at least 4 hours worth of naps in but nothing after 4pm that last stretch used to be really hard to get to 7pm but worked out in the end

leo was an incredibly good baby though and used to wear himself out a lot in those early days rolling like a mad thing or kicking on his mat or jumping in his jumperoo lol bless him

will be trying the every two hour technique, as a first time mum it was so good because it was sleep every two hours and feeds every 4 hours so establishing routine based on this was easy (well easy said than done but you know .. .)

 

[madcatwoman]

Ah yes!The jumperoo, Bailey just fell asleep in his, hes now kipping in his bouncer!

Gilz, you must wonder what we're complaining about when poor noah(&you) have it so bad every night!

 

[gilz82]

I'll have to try something like that but jiggled slightly as Noah eats every 3hrs. It generally takes about an hour to get him to eat so maybe aiming for at least an hour nap in between would be a start.

I do put him down in his crib in an attempt to get him to nap. The room is still bright, blinds open etc but I read somewhere it can be helpful in getting them to nap in the place where they know they go to sleep at night.

 

[gilz82]

Gilz, you must wonder what we're complaining about when poor noah(&you) have it so bad every night!

No Cat I don't wonder at all. Everyone is allow to complain or moan. I don't have the exclusive rights to moaning

 

[madcatwoman]

Gilz, you must wonder what we're complaining about when poor noah(&you) have it so bad every night!

No Cat I don't wonder at all. Everyone is allow to complain or moan. I don't have the exclusive rights to moaning

Oh, and id given you the right too!, damn! lol

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

i would have too but you all know how much i like to moan lol!

thats the mistake i made gilz! the same book told me you need to block out all light to get them to sleep well inthe day and boy he slept incredibly well . . . in his room . . . take him round anywhere else and in the summer months and during the daytime he STILL will not fall asleep unless it is more dark than light!

his roomis a bit weird here as he has glass windows at the top of his room on the wall that doubles as the hallway room ie not an outside wall so all the light from the rest of the flat gets into his, now he will sleep a lot better in the light but gosh he is 2.5! he is about the only one that would not fall asleep in a pram, bouncer, moses basket in any room other than dark room, in the car even, he has to still be absolutely knakard to fall asleepo in the car, even street lights keep him awake!

will not be making this light thing mistake again, yeah dark room but not pitch black room, gah in our first flat with him there were so places where light came through, we ended up having a bed spread covering half his cot so it was pitch black under half the cot! did this for about a year! until he started pulling the velcro off that i had attached lol . . .

 

[gilz82]

I've not even being attempting to make it slightly dark. Maybe I need to start dipping the blinds slightly so it's still day time but duller if that makes sense.

We have black out blinds for at night so when he goes down then the room is pitch black. Its so bad im always walking into things, I'm covered in bloody bruises

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

ha ha i was the same, i would walk in the room and be feeling about for the cot lol lol the whole opening your eyes really really wide doesnt help lol lol

we dont have the option to have upstairs so dark this time because we are all on one level plus those random windows, they are like 10ft high so cant be bothered to black those out lol