Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[Mrs Miggins]

I can't keep up on this thread at the moment! I keep dipping in and out so sorry if I miss posts. Croy, I love looking back at those threads. I'm also so glad I have my journals that will come in so useful for my book when I eventually get round to writing it.
I'm eternally grateful to you all as well.
Amanda, I love the photos. I think she looks just like you in that second one.

 

[KatM]

Heart,
Grey does not seem to care for or want food. I tried feeding him avocados. They were not a hit. He did seem to like egg yolk, but because we were afraid of food allergies we stopped letting him try anything. Now that we know the rash was detergent build up, I will start reintroducing soon. He just doesn't seem to care, and now he is STTN on just BM.

You know I LOVE dairy. I don't know how good I think it is for us considering the source, but I LOVE it! I would be sad if G was intolerant.

We are NTNP, I guess. I am EBF, so have no idea of my cycles. We dtd only once a week, but I promised DH I would bump up to twice weekly after G turned 6 monhts, so tomorrow.

Try bringing some very green avocados for the first part of the trip. Then hit up the health food stores. The cape is so much harder to find healthy grub. I eat clam chowder and fish and chips the entire time I am there, with an occasional crab salad thrown in. I eat only ice cream at Martha's Vineyard. It is so damn good.

How long will you be there for?

Croy,
Loved the video. I hear grass fed beef is the most humane. I am not veggie, DH and I will eat seafood on rare occasion, but I won't cook any kind of meat. I have always found it revolting and nasty... though thought it tasted good.

To answer your question about the butt pimple... Dr was afraid it really was a tiny abscess. A pimple is a type of abscess, but not the type that they truly worry about. Because it filled 3 times, both drs were concerned. They have determined it is just a stubborn, ass pimple.

Bumpy,
It's nice you will only be gone 2 days out of the week and thank goodness those teeth cut through.

AFM,
EC is going great!!! We caught 5 pees by 9:30 this morning. I think G is beginning to associate being on the potty chair with letting his sphincter muscles relax. He still basically poops in his diaper on the jumparoo, LOL. I have caught a few poops on accident that coincided with pee. I caught 2 of the pees this morning trying to catch poops. He is in his big boy undies for a lot of the day now. I can even tell DH when I think he will go, and DH catches them... Mommy's intuition and timing.

G is still STTN and it is glorious!!! Oh, and so am I. Even more glorious!

 

[tuckie27]

Croy- I read your blog. Loved the pics of Levi! I think taking trips with a LO would be easier without having to fly. Obviously it's doable since you guys just did it, but when I read the part about packing I decided I don't want to take any plane trips with Bay until she's older lol Of course road trips have their challenges too. FX for being prego next month and not this one! That video was really sweet. I used to be vegetarian for many years and was vegan for a few years too. I craved meat the first time I got pregnant and wanted to honor what my body was asking for. I started with fish. After we lost that one, I just kept eating meat. I still eat meatless meals often but I don't deny myself meat anymore.

Melfy- Zoe is sooo cute!!! Love the pic where she's peaking over the blankets B eats more oatmeal if I mix it with fruit too I do apples and cinnamon or pears and cinnamon in her oatmeal and she gobbles it up!

Fili- I agree with the other ladies on the CBs; too unreliable so don't fret! If Lexi is demanding more milk, it could be a growth spurt.

Kat- Glad G's rash is on the mend. I lol'd at the comment that you could have bought a designer dress for what that butt pimple has cost you Yay for sttn!!! NTNP should be interesting! Maybe you're the next marl to get preg here?!? Glad the EC is going so well for you!

Cazi- :wave:

Jenny- welcome back

NSN- OMG! Everyone here is getting preg!!! Congrats! Keep us updated!

Heart- so glad you stopped in and posted all those lovely pics of D! I like the funny face pic with Tim and her eating and sitting at the library. She's a doll thanks for the reassurance that teething gets easier. B has 2 that have erupted on bottom. It's just the tops of her teeth still. The entire tooth hasn't come all the way out, but she seems better since they cut through. I think she had some relief when they finally erupted. Congrats on getting yourself in great shape! I know how much hard work it is to whip your body into shape like that so huge kudos to you B will eat carrots, butternut squash, and sweet potatoes. She doesn't like peas or green beans but I haven't tried broccoli yet. The sweet potato pancakes sound awesome! I still find it surreal that I'm a mother as well. Pinching myself every day!

Bumpy- B's 2nd tooth came in about 3 days after the first one erupted. I think it might be easier on them that they come in pairs though so they can get it over with. Sorry you have to go back to work :/ but 3 days isn't bad especially if you can work from home one of those days. Who will care for A while you're working?

MrsM- :wave:

Pad- hate when that happens

I've gotta post an 'afm' but I didn't want to lose all this ^^^ so I'm splitting it because a lot has happened in the last few days here and for us too...

 

[tuckie27]

Oh geez, a lot has gone down ladies!

For starters, B rolled off the bed a few nights ago I always have my snoogle on the edge of the bed as a barrier and B never really rolls around when we sleep. She almost always stays in the same place all night so I'm not sure what happened but the pillow somehow got pushed off the bed and we woke suddenly at 3:30am to a 'thump' followed by crying and Aaron and I both shot out of bed. He was FREAKING out! B was fine. I immediately scooped her up and soothed her and gave her the boob while I checked her all over. I was looking for marks, bruises, etc and DH was lecturing me and panicking and I was still half asleep, worrying, & not pleased. I stayed up with her for about a half hour or so and she was acting totally normal afterwards so we went back to sleep. DH and I talked the next day and he apologized for lecturing me & said he was just scared and we discussed it and decided she needs to sleep on her own now. My mom told me this would happen. She said at some point every baby falls off a bed, couch, or chair and gives you a big scare. She was right. We've now started making her sleep in her rock & play sleeper or swing (both are in our room). It's been going pretty well. She only fusses for about 5 mins and then goes to sleep. It was brutal though because she was reaching her hand for me and looking at me and I was pretending to sleep but I was watching her and it was hard seeing her tiny hand reaching out for me and crying but I know this is for her own good. The past few nights she has slept solo except 2 hours in our bed in the morning for BFing.

She also now signs for milk!!! We've been doing sign language since she was 4.5 months and she has signed for milk several times now. It's great because now I know when she wants it and it has helped tremendously in the 'guessing game' of what's wrong when she's crying. Sometimes I'm shocked because she'll have just eaten recently and wants milk and cries and I give it to her and its exactly what she wanted. Makes life easier on all of us!

The last big news is DH basically quit his job last night. You all know how his company has been so disorganized and screwing him over since day 1. So, last week he drove 3 hours only to work one day and was told he had to wait a day for the subcontractors who were behind. Then after wasting a whole day, he was told the next day that they had no work for him the whole week! Then on Friday they told him he was going to be working in Indio (9 hours away in the desert). The senior project manager gave DH the # for the guy in charge of the Indio job. He called and left him a message on Saturday and never heard back from him so yesterday we washed and packed all his clothes, gassed up the jeep, and he set out for the 9 hour drive and figured he'd just have to talk to the guy in charge once he got down there. Well, he got down there and there was a security gate for the resort they are working on and security wouldn't let DH in because he didn't have a room number (no one told DH about any of this) He called the senior PM and the PM on that job and neither of them answered their phones. He called over and over and then called me irate and cussing and saying how he just wasted hundreds of dollars in gas and how he's so sick of his company. He said he was giving them a couple hours to call him back and if no one did, he was coming home. Lo and behold, no one called him back so he left and should be home any minute now. I told him I totally understand why he is done with this company and fully support whatever decisions he makes. This was the straw that broke the camels back for him. He works too damn hard to be treated like that. He is a very hard worker, very reliable, and this company has done nothing but shit all over him. The bad news is if DH doesn't get another job soon, we will be dipping into our 2nd car savings it is what it is....

Phew, sorry this post was so long but soo much happened in these few days since I last posted!

 

[KatM]

Tuckie,
Wow that is big new all around.
So sorry Bay fell. It is very common. It's great that B transitioned so easily. I'm sure it was hard on you, but she is clearly fine. I understand why DH lecturing you was too much since I'm sure you felt awful already.
Wow, for signing. We haven't started since we were told to start at 8 months. Now that I know differently we will start today. I want him to sign eat and potty first. Good job mamma.
I'm glad you didn't get the second car. Your DH needs a better fit. He is a hard worker. He will get it.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi ladies, lots to catch up on

NSN, congratulations, all of these BFP's are hard to keep up with. I hope your happy with your surprise.

Heart, its good to hear that you's are doing well and you sound really happy with your weight loss. Delilah is absolutely gorgeous, such pretty eyes and I agree that she looks like you.

Kat, Im still amazed that your managing to catch these pees and poos, I would be hopeless.

Its interesting to read you guys mention that you don't want Grey and Delilah to eat meat until they make that decision for themselves.
Im actually the opposite. I'm strict vegetarian and have been since I was 10 so 21 years now which I cant believe. Its not for moral reasons but the fact that it disgusts me the thought of eating an animal and the taste and texture etc.
But I have decided that its not for me to decide that Emelia shouldn't eat meat and that she should make the decision for herself when she is older. Im happy to prepare it for her and feed her it. My husband gave me a lecture that she wasn't being vegetarian just because I am and I agreed. He likes to remind me that our bodies are evolved to eat meat and its good for her. He especially wants her to have fish as it is healthy. I especially hate fish and that's the one thing I will struggle to prepare so might leave that to him.
I've always been healthy and had no problem. I take multi vitamins with iron each day. But my sister is also vegetarian and has suffered on numerous occasions with anaemia and actually needed a blood transfusion on one occasion.
I read that babies have enough iron stores when they are born that last until 6 months old and that's when they start to run out so they recommend that you start solids, Im worried not to give Emelia meat incase she dosent get enough iron.

Tuckie, that must have gave you guys such a fright to hear that thud and realise that Bay had rolled off the bed. I fear that this is now the time that things are going to start happening to our babies with them getting more mobile etc. Last week was a total wake up call for me when Emelia hit her head. It puts such fear into you when they hurt themselves, your heart actually skips a beat.
So glad to read that she is ok. I've read about babies breaking arms and bones when they roll off couches and beds.

That is awful for your husband to drive all of those hours and faced with that situation. How p*****d off must he have been not to be let in and no one return his calls! Its a pity that he's had to quit but that does not sound a great company he has been working for! They sound like slave drivers and not even interested in peoples health and safety.

Hi Bumpy, MrsM, and anyone else I've missed.

 

[tuckie27]

Kat- thanks for reassuring me about falls being common. I googled it after it happened looking for horror stories of things that can happen when babies fall but all I found were hundreds of moms saying their babies fell off furniture too. It's good to know I'm not the only 'bad mom' I was amazed that she signed so early! I started at 4.5 months thinking she would eventually get it if we drilled it in early but I didn't expect her to sign back yet lol This is the only sign she does so far, but we also do 'up', 'diaper', 'hurt', & 'eat'. I do the hurt sign when she hits herself with a toy and cries or when she chews on her hands and whines cause her teeth hurt, but also use it when she hurts me. The other day she gave me a titty twister! It hurt worse than the bites! I want her to understand she can hurt mommy too! I highly recommend signing with G. I do the signs every time we do the thing we're signing and I will sign it several times in a row and say the word that goes with the sign over & over again too. I am praying for DH. He could really use a break right now. I should look up the sign for potty and start that one too. I just sign diaper and I think it'll be awhile before she can do that one because it involves more fine motor skills than the 'milk' one does. 'Eat' should be easy though. We only started that one when we started solid food about 4 weeks ago. Are you struggling to juggle packing for the move and taking care of G? I would think that would be a lot to handle! Glad you're getting into a bigger place soon though!

 

[tuckie27]

Just- we cross posted! It really does make your heart skip a beat. Mine about came out of my chest! I think I agree with you about babies being veg. If I were still a vegetarian, I would still feed my baby meat. It was hard for me to get enough protein as a vegetarian and I'm an adult. I wouldn't want to worry about protein and iron needs for a baby's body too.I'd rather just give them some turkey or chicken and know they were good on that for the day. If Bay chooses to be vegetarian later, I fully support it & I will continue to make vegetarian meals so she'll have options & know you can choose to eat meat or not and both choices are okay.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Tuckie, so far I have gave Emelia ham and beef and she has devoured it. To be honest she hasn't refused much mind you. I think I gave her cinnamon in her mashed banana once and she spat that out. It was clearly the cinnamon she didn't like.

Im really interested in sign language for babies, how did you learn the signs? Was it online or videos or something? I really fancy trying this aswell. Its quite amazing what babies seem capable of learning at such a young age if your just willing to put in the effort.

 

[filipenko32]

Reading back ....

 

[filipenko32]

Caught up !

Tuckie I am absolutely gutted about how messed about your hubs was I am not surprised he quit!! Don't worry everything will work out in the end for him job wise especially with those attributes, it must be a pressure ATM, you will just have to stick together emotionally and ride it out. Also the fall: when me and Josh were getting off the car deck on the ferry on the way to France a month back we didn't strap lexi into her car seat because we had been delayed and we had been previously crawling up the ramp. Josh got lexi out of the back seat in a swinging motion as you do and she fell out and bumped her head. Well there was pandamonium! I went into shock, Josh scooped her up and ran for paramedics. A aged doctor was fortunately behind us with his lovely wife and he calmed us all completely down! Lexi was screaming the place down (mainly because of all the fuss as we know now). This doctor was amazing, he said no to a and e, he said babies bounce, that she would be just fine he said just act
normally with her, he said 'we can't be perfect parent's in a later card he wrote to us (after I sent him
a thank you card) he said 'we can only be good enough' . I do not know what we would have done
without him there. I went into shock and froze apart from comforting lexi and even that I was
struggling with and Josh had a huge panic attack and the doctor was more concerned about him! I
have never seen Josh like that before, he wasn't actually able to breathe and this came on for him as
soon as he realised she was going to be ok. So im not surprised your dh lashed out. I learnt a lot of
lessons that day but lexi was smiling and laughing 1 hour later and back to her usual self, I havent
been able to talk about it till now as I still find it horrific to re-live! I stayed up all night staring at her!!

Heart omg D is soooo beautiful!!! We are so lucky to have all these beautiful rainbow babies! Congratulations on your weight loss too. I'm glad she is sleeping so well for you too. I loved reading about what she can do and how much joy she is obviously bringing you it's like peering through the window on really happy family and yes as

Croy says we have come so far, I would not be as sane maybe I should say I would be more insane without you girls, omg you were and still are a lifeline!! xxxx croy can you still get pregnant when bf'ing I simply don't know, good luck for bfp next month!! Fingers crossed loosely for you because ahh you know I will be quite over the moon if you get an earlier bfp - sorry!!!

 

[tuckie27]

Just- I watched videos online and also got some baby sign apps on my iPhone. It's a huge help because babies that sign don't need to cry as much or as long, because they can communicate their needs better on us parents too! Right now we do about 10 signs, just the most basic things. Eventually we will introduce more, but we didn't want to overwhelm her with too many at once.

Fili- like your DH, mine went into full on freak out mode. He did say it was because he was scared and I'm sure your DH was too! Falls are scary and being a marl we probably worry even more than other moms (& we probably often forget all our DHs are DARLs, so them too!), but it's like it'll all come crashing down and we'll lose our precious babies that we tried so hard to get here! So glad that Dr was there to assist you! Very nice of you to send a thank you card too I'm big on thank you cards

 

[filipenko32]

Cont...

Just pros for going back to work according to my sister: my nephew who went to nursery at 6 months as opposed to his sister developed faster and is more sociable. Also she felt like it was a break / change for her. Cons: I can imagine it's very emotionally difficult at least to begin with I really hope it all goes smoothly for you. We are here if you need to vent or tell us how great the nursery was! As croy says (and I have taught nursery children for a couple of years) they are very well looked after in most cases. When I was a nursery teacher safety and development was absolutely paramount and the 2 nursery nurses there were amazing! It's actually a very lovely but very stressful job if done properly but for many first time parents leaving their babies it was very difficult for them and they needed a lot of reassurance from the staff too as is normal and perfectly understandable. I only had the 2-3 year olds though not babies. Will be thinking of you. Xxx

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Thanks Tuckie, I'll look into the app and videos.

Fili, Oh my God, I can only imagine the scenario when Lexi fell out of the car seat. I know exactly what you mean that you just kept staring at her that night! That is the kind of thing that you keep re-living in your head but try your best not to. How lucky was that, a doctor being so close by.

My mum said that one of us rolled out of the pram basket when she lifted it off the couch and only had one handle instead of the two!

When Emelia was a couple of months old I accidentally hit her head when putting her into her swing and she was hysterical. I told my husband about it that night when he got home from work and he had a confession that he had also hit her head by accident when she fell back from his arms onto the arm of the couch, she got such a fright apparently It was like confession time! It just dosent bear thinking of something serious. They are so fragile and yet so resistant at the same time.

 

[filipenko32]

Cont...

Melfy how are you feeling!? I am excited for you. I really think this is your rainbow no 2!! drats to zoe's sleeping, she really sounds like lexi with her milk guzzling and random sleeps - sometimes sttn and sometimes up every hour lol! Lexi is constipated now lol! Is zoe better!?

As for veggie babies, I can see both sides really but for us we are out and out carnivores! Well we are technically omnivores but you know what I mean! Tonight we were eating our steak dinners and Lexi's face started to crumple from being previously happy and fed half an hour earlier. We both stopped eating and we were like what's the matter little bambina and kissing and cuddling her. It turns out she was looking at our food and feeling left out!!! We couldn't stop laughing and lexi was disgusted and couldn't stop crying!! So I tried her with some green organic mush stuff (spinach cheese and potato that you recommended...

Just) and she took it but was unsure, she had about a tablespoon like you recommended
Heart. Thanks for your weaning advice btw heart that makes perfect sense. So I think lexi wanted steak lol. It was amazing to see how obviously disgusted she was so much so she refused her milk for the first time ever!!!! So me and Josh started pretending to drink her milk then and hid our meals but she wasn't having it lololololololololol!

Croy loved that vid btw.

Heart

 

[filipenko32]

Heart I have been re-reading all your great advice in my old ttc journal and everything you said was true. I remember how much comfort you brought me when I was freaking out! And so yes with lexi doing that I think she is ready for a steak dinner ... Oh what's that you say? Start slowly! Ok!

Jodi how are you finding work with the twins? How's hubs? Any more pics? Xxx

Cazi thanks so much hun how you doing!!?

Jenny ! Hope you got someone to move that wardrobe! ;-) xxx

Mrs migg I talk to you more than I talk to my mum and / or sister and my hubs in fact
- on every thread on her and on fb lol! So I have nothing more to say

Afm cramping continues been feeling less sick today, very very mildly sore ENORMOUS boobs. Keeping calm and carrying on as

Nsn would say!

Father's Day 16th UK ladies

Kat I laughed so much when you said you could have designer 'clobber' (new word for you to google lol) in place of the pimple! Gosh yes that sounds like a money making factory but sounds like they are good humoured and more importantly thorough and understanding. Fantastic about Grey's sleep! And consequently yours!!

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Thanks Fili, for the reassurance about nurserys. I genuinely felt that the staff there are so dedicated to childrens safety and development. The woman was lovely and did say that it is difficult for people to leave such young children but has been there herself. She was also very honest and said that most often it is actually the parents that can cause problems when problems do arise! I get the impression she means maybe certain parents complaining non stop about things!

There is also a phone in the nursery room and you can phone for updates etc. as many times as you like, which I imagine some people maybe do to the extreme haha.
Im still hoping January before I return to work so a wee while to go yet. And Im really hoping to be pregnant again for going back to work so hopefully I'll work for a few months and then be back off on maternity leave again in an ideal world.
That would be my ideal scenario anyway to be pregnant for Emelia's first birthday in November. I actually worry about peoples reactions at work if I go back pregnant but I have to put my family life first and we waited so long for Emelia that I would have probably had a second baby by now.

 

[filipenko32]

All from memory.... oh dear maybe it's not a good symptom that I don't have baby brain!!!

 

[tuckie27]

Fili- You posted all those from memory?!? I'm impressed! DH and I also pretend to eat B's food and say 'Mmm!' & act like its so delicious

Just- I'm really nervous about leaving B someday when I have to go back to work! That nursery sounds really good though. Nice that they let you call for updates

This is my 999th B&B post...so I guess after my next post I'll be an 'addict'??? Or is is 'Chat Happy'??

 

[heart tree]

Bumpy what kind of work do you do? It’s great that you are only going back part time and can work from home. In all honesty, I kind of wish I had that schedule. I love being a SAHM, but I find it isolating sometimes. Teeth tend to come in pairs for some reason.

Pad, waiting for the updated post. I hate it when B&B does that!

Thanks Mrs M! Delilah looks like me in some ways, but not at all in others. It’s so strange to see qualities of yourself in a little person. How are you managing 2? Are you getting more sleep these days?

Kat, funny that you should mention bumping sex up to twice a week. My DH is constantly groping me and it exhausts me. He wants to fool around for every nap time on the weekends. All I want to do is relax. I’d say we’re at the once to twice a week range. I know we need to do it to maintain our relationship, but often I’m not remotely interested. I hate fish, so I never eat that at the Cape. We cook a lot of meals at home. The produce is super expensive, but we’ll make some healthy meals. I have been thinking about bringing some avocados with me! LOL! Not sure how long we’ll be there. We’re going to Tim’s parent’s in Kansas City for 5 days and then we’re flying to the Cape. Tim will stay a week and all of my siblings will come for the week as well. Delilah and I are going to stay on after that. I haven’t bought my return flight yet. We’ll probably stay for a month though. STTN is glorious. You are right! I’m so thrilled for you.

Tuckie, I can’t believe how your DH has been treated. It is completely unacceptable. He should be reimbursed for the gas. That’s insane. I do hope he finds more work soon. He did the right thing by quitting though. So awesome about signing. We sign, but she hasn’t done any back to me. Mainly I do “all done” and “up”. Keep trying the veggies. Delilah hated broccoli until I tried a little cheese on it. She still isn’t keen on spinach, but I’ll keep introducing it until she does. I fully support getting Bay into her own sleeping environment. I was so sad to move Delilah out of our room, but it ended up being the best thing for all of us. We did it at 7 months. If you wait much longer, you’ll deal with separation anxiety and it will be much harder to do. We all sleep so much better being in our own spaces. I’m actually dreading vacation when she’ll be in the same room as us. I think it will disrupt her sleep. She never rolled off the bed, but that’s because I had her in the co-sleeper before the crib. But I know lots of people it has happened to!

Just, I do worry about iron for Delilah. I’ve never had an issue, but that’s one of the reasons I eat poultry. I plan to discuss it with her ped at her 1 year visit. I’m the same as you, I hate fish and meat. I stopped eating it about 25 years ago. I have no taste for it. I was also a nursery teacher and in our classroom, those babies got so much love it was crazy! I hope you get pregnant soon though and can get signed off of work again.

Fili, great job with the memory! Glad I could offer reassurance in the past and present. Too cute about Lexi wanting steak! It definitely sounds like she’s getting ready to eat solids. OMG to her falling. I would have been a wreck. What karma to have that doctor there when you needed him!

AFM, gave Delilah her first taste of peanut butter today. I’ve read that it is the second exposure that will help you to figure out if there is an allergy. But I also read that some people’s babies had an immediate reaction. So far, nothing. I’m nervous for the second exposure, but I just want to get this out of the way. So much new research says to offer highly allergenic foods earlier now. We’ve done eggs and wheat. Now we’re onto peanuts. Scary stuff.