"My child will never behave like that"

[oOKayOo]

course you can lozzy. no one is saying dont offer advice , more to the fact when you become a parent its alittle different having you own rather then learning about them in general and looking after other kids. For instance a friend of mine has done everything child care and been in it for years , yet when she had a child she said its alot different when you have your own.

 

[Blah11]

course you can lozzy. no one is saying dont offer advice , more to the fact when you become a parent its alittle different having you own rather then learning about them in general and looking after other kids. For instance a friend of mine has done everything child care and been in it for years , yet when she had a child she said its alot different when you have your own.

Yeah, I agree. It's just not the same. I'm sure you're great at your job though.

 

[lozzy21]

I dont do it anymore the pay was rubish. The point im getting at is iv had to work with lots of children of lots of ages and some with disabilitys so iv had to use lots of different technique's to deal with behaviour depending on what the parents want doing or what has been advised by the behaviour team but for most parents they use the technique's that were used on them. Now im not saying that they are wrong but what may work for there first born may not work for there second. When they are moaning at me about there childrens behaviour and i offer advice it gets thrown back in my face that i dont have children.

In this thread its been thrown back that us with out children cant comment on anything about bringing up children because we dont have any.

What im trying to get accros is that just because we dont have children yet dosent mean we cant have a valid oppinion. I know some people can go ott with it but dont place us all in the same boat.

 

[smartiepants]

.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Ill put my hands up and say iv said those words. Iv said them alot to my sister and about a few kids in the street for the pure fact some of the stuff iv seen and the fact the parents are totally oblivious to what there kids are doing. I no i wouldnt be like that. I walked past a shop with my mum, on way in one little boy was having such a temper tantrum he screamed so bloody loud and high my ear popped and his gran just laughed! iv seen kids have a tantrum and the parents deal with the tantrum like a parent should some just laugh and encourage there child to do it more... I dont say it to be a bitch i say it because sometimes people acctually shock me

 

[Nic1107]

So i need to have a child of my own to know i could be a better job than some one who is dragging a child down the street shouting things like "If you dont shut the fuck up im going to kick your fucking head in you stupid little c**t?" at a 3 year old?

I think not.

My god... please tell me you haven't really heard someone say that to their child?!??

 

[Nic1107]

My no 1 pet hate is parents trying to tell me how to look after there child, im talking about basic things like changing a nappy or making a bottle. Or if i offer advice they say some thing like "oh what do you know, you dont have kids"

Yet they know iv got an nvq in early years care and education. I dident spend nearly 2 YEARS learning about everything to do with babys and children from birth to 8 and not learn how to change a nappy or make a bottle.

Iv helped my mother rase my brothers and sister, i worked at a playgroup for over 3 years and look after my cusins one of which had adhd and aspergers. Some times im looking after 4/5 children and babys at a time.

Yet i cant give any help or advice because i havent popped one out?

Seconded. Hell, thirded and fourthed too. My friend actually told me that she didn't want anyone watching her 3-month-old if they'd never been a mommy themselves, even though her three months as a mom was the first and only experience she'd after had caring for a baby. She hadn't directed the comment at me, but I was thinking jeezus... what the hell am I going to do, put the diaper on the kid's head and bathe her in the laundry machine?

I realize being a parent is a unique and unmatchable experience and having your own kid is a whole new world, but it really feels like a slap in the face sometimes for those of us haven't been given our membership passes yet when someone treats us like we're clueless children for not having reproduced. Especially when there are some real crap parents out there, and yet they have their membership. Gah.

 

[DonnaBallona]

. For instance a friend of mine has done everything child care and been in it for years , yet when she had a child she said its alot different when you have your own.

I completley relate to this. . .I also have a diploma in childcare Lozzy, first I worked in a nursery, then I nannied for 4 years before having Brooke.

My last family, her children were appaulling. And I mean REALLY bad. I was doing this most of the time when I was around them and every single day I swore I would never, ever let my child behave like they did because I knew I could do a better job.

However, now Im a mummy, I think I definatly have more compassion for my old boss-I can see why she did some things one way and not the other. I can see why she ignored certain behaviour whereas I let them know their behaviour was wrong. And now I understand why it was so, so hard for the parents to walk away at the start of the day at nursery when their child was crying for them to come back.

I dont think I could do that job again ever. Its difficult not to judge, i agree- we all have different parenting styles and I guess we'll never know if one way is better than the other

 

[brownhairedmom]

I have a baby and I still say that. Well, I mean, if you can tell that the kid is just throwing a tantrum then I don't think that, but there are kids I know (and in my family) that I say every single time I see them "I'll never raise Renah like that". And I won't. Doesn't matter how many temper tantrums she throws, she still won't be raised like that.

 

[leeanne]

I remember thinking that my child or children will not behave like some that I've seen. For the most part, they have been good but some behaviors have been somewhat what I've seen.

I've learned not to say "never", especially since becoming a mom.

Each child is different and has their own behaviors no matter how good a parent one is.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I have a baby and I still say that. Well, I mean, if you can tell that the kid is just throwing a tantrum then I don't think that, but there are kids I know (and in my family) that I say every single time I see them "I'll never raise Renah like that". And I won't. Doesn't matter how many temper tantrums she throws, she still won't be raised like that.

agree 100% Okay, so like Leeanne said, as a parent, I've learned never to say never, however, there are some things I can say I will never do, in regards to raising Alexa. I'm not Miss Perfect Mommy, no one is, but there are a lot of parents out there not doing their parenting-I know there are several ways to parent, and that is not an issue with me, but lack of parenting is what I'll say 'never ever will alexa be raised or treated that way" and I can honestly say that no, she won't be raised or treated that way. And yeah, okay, parenting can be a hard job, BUT that doesn't mean some people should just quit as a parent, as I know some people do-the expect their child to respect them, when they get older. Just my opinion, and certainly do not mean to offend anyone, I do know that some kids turn out awful, when the parent has done the best they can.

 

[Linzi]

Seth is good as gold at nursery, but when he comes home he's a right little shit lol, he's turning into a little devil!!!

To be honest the only way I know of getting him to behave is to ignore it. Eg. he has a tantrum because he wants to walk, not go in his buggy. He arches his back, screams, etc you all know what it's like!!! You keep going, ignore it and get him in anyway. Because if he knows that all he needs to do to get his way is play up then thats what he's going to do! Ive seen it in my little brother and Im determined to not let him get like that. Same reason I think spoiling kids with material things is a bad idea.

But thats just my opinion and the way I want to raise my son

All kids are gonna have tantrums, and we each deal with it the best way we can. Wether you're mum, dad, auntie, teacher etc. I think we can all sympathise with each other on this rather than arguing

xxx

 

[Alexas Mommy]

Seth is good as gold at nursery, but when he comes home he's a right little shit lol, he's turning into a little devil!!!

To be honest the only way I know of getting him to behave is to ignore it. Eg. he has a tantrum because he wants to walk, not go in his buggy. He arches his back, screams, etc you all know what it's like!!! You keep going, ignore it and get him in anyway. Because if he knows that all he needs to do to get his way is play up then thats what he's going to do! Ive seen it in my little brother and Im determined to not let him get like that. Same reason I think spoiling kids with material things is a bad idea.

But thats just my opinion and the way I want to raise my son

All kids are gonna have tantrums, and we each deal with it the best way we can. Wether you're mum, dad, auntie, teacher etc. I think we can all sympathise with each other on this rather than arguing

xxx

I agree with this way too-this is what I do with Alexa

 

[Nic1107]

*shrug* Yeah, nobody's saying that being a parent is easy. And you can't very well anticipate how your child is going to behave at all times, especially before they're born, as you never know how their personalities might be or if they might end up with a behavioural disorder. -BUT-

It seems that every time- any time!- I mention a certain way I want to bring my kids up or a value I hope to instill, I get some smug mom (including my own on occasion) smugly telling me to keep dreaming, basically. How is it okay to tell someone that they're basically going to be a failure at parenting and they may as well give up now?

 

[brownhairedmom]

*shrug* Yeah, nobody's saying that being a parent is easy. And you can't very well anticipate how your child is going to behave at all times, especially before they're born, as you never know how their personalities might be or if they might end up with a behavioural disorder. -BUT-

It seems that every time- any time!- I mention a certain way I want to bring my kids up or a value I hope to instill, I get some smug mom (including my own on occasion) smugly telling me to keep dreaming, basically. How is it okay to tell someone that they're basically going to be a failure at parenting and they may as well give up now?

I get this too. I told my aunt I was going to homeschool Renah and she goes "pshh, yeah right". I almost hauled off and whacked her one. She also does not have children but is a teacher. I sign with her and everyone makes fun of it, its ridiculous. The way you raise your children is your decision and as long as you're not hurting them then its nobody's business. I don't agree with the way my cousin and his girlfriend raise their little girl but I have certainly never said anything TO them, you know? I don't understand when you're trying to do something good for your children why people feel the need to comment on it.

 

[Linzi]

People will have their 2 cents about anything not just the way you choose to bring up your child.

 

[lozzy21]

So i need to have a child of my own to know i could be a better job than some one who is dragging a child down the street shouting things like "If you dont shut the fuck up im going to kick your fucking head in you stupid little c**t?" at a 3 year old?

I think not.

My god... please tell me you haven't really heard someone say that to their child?!??

Fairl often unfortunatly, there is a fairly rough estate in my town and you see them dragging there kids round town talking to them like a piece of shit.

 

[lozzy21]

My no 1 pet hate is parents trying to tell me how to look after there child, im talking about basic things like changing a nappy or making a bottle. Or if i offer advice they say some thing like "oh what do you know, you dont have kids"

Yet they know iv got an nvq in early years care and education. I dident spend nearly 2 YEARS learning about everything to do with babys and children from birth to 8 and not learn how to change a nappy or make a bottle.

Iv helped my mother rase my brothers and sister, i worked at a playgroup for over 3 years and look after my cusins one of which had adhd and aspergers. Some times im looking after 4/5 children and babys at a time.

Yet i cant give any help or advice because i havent popped one out?

Seconded. Hell, thirded and fourthed too. My friend actually told me that she didn't want anyone watching her 3-month-old if they'd never been a mommy themselves, even though her three months as a mom was the first and only experience she'd after had caring for a baby. She hadn't directed the comment at me, but I was thinking jeezus... what the hell am I going to do, put the diaper on the kid's head and bathe her in the laundry machine?

I realize being a parent is a unique and unmatchable experience and having your own kid is a whole new world, but it really feels like a slap in the face sometimes for those of us haven't been given our membership passes yet when someone treats us like we're clueless children for not having reproduced. Especially when there are some real crap parents out there, and yet they have their membership. Gah.

I agree compleatly. Yes there is nothing like having your own children but as smartiepants said she has racked up thousands of childcare experiance before having children. How many first time mums have that but as soon as they give birth they are experts.

Im lucky when i babysit for family they leave me get on with it. Even if they are there and there child is naughty, if i see it i disaplin them. If they are hurt and i get to them first they let me comfort them, unless they are asking for mummy obviously.

But some people i know snach there baby off me as soon as they start whinging and then wonder why they become clingy children.