well, i know that it has been a while. but it has been a very torturing couple of months. Josh did not make it. he died on July 17th at 11:15 p.m. i thought he was strong. and i was so sure that he was going to make it through. but i was wrong. I'm so angry. i don't understand why this happened. He was 31 years old! our son is only 4. 4 yrs old! that's not fair. it's not how things were supposed to happen. it's just not how things were supposed to be. i'm going to put up a link to josh's myspace memorial. feel free to have a look. i am not on the page, or participating in it at this time. i am not sure why, and i am sure it's not at all christian. but i am angry at all the people on there talking about their close friendship, that i knew full well hadn't so much as spoken to josh since high school. but don't hesitate to look, or to offer his family kind words or support. thankyou all so much for all of your support. and i may return to b&b soon. i need my focus elsewhere. and where else but a new baby!