aussiettc
Mum of 4 and ttc#5
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- Feb 28, 2010
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I want to tell you my story cause i need to talk to someone who migth understand to help, not read and run
When i was 15 i was raped by the love of my life. Not only did he take my innocence but he also took my virginity and broke my heart. When he was done he told me to clean up and leave cause his mum would be home in 30 mins and i shouldn't be there. I had to go to schoool every day after this and spend every day during class time sitting 2 meters away from this guy pretending it didn't happen. During the next 2 months i met someone else and started to rebuild my life, i eventually told him about my rape and he was very supportive, however i didn't tell him the truth. i said i got drunk and slept with the other guy. If the rape didn't damage me enough 2 months later i found out i was pregnant. I had to hide this from everyone i knew except my new BF. He was fine with it and said he didn't mind. So just when i had come to terms with everything on boxing day i MC at 14+ weeks. i was flown to the nearest hospital for surgery. When doctors asked if i wanted the baby of they could save it my mum told them that there was no way and the decision was made. During then next 1 and a half years my BF was physically and emotionally abusive to me. I eventually had the courage to leave to, but the damage was done the only 2 men in my life had broken my spirit and damaged my soul for life.
Then i met my DH almost 11 years ago now. 2 months later he proposed, i said yes and we celebrated. A month later i got my BFP and was suprised as i was going through investigations due to a very high prolactin level. During the next few months i was happily preggers. I went into prem labour at 24 weeks, they manager to stop it but i was told to have bed rest and not do anything like washing, or walking for more 30mins. i was also hospitalised at 30 weeks with cramps. They found out later that it was due to blood clots in my uterus. Anyway in the end i had a very healthy baby boy weighing 10 pounds.
I was exstatic and after 5 months and a move interstate away form all family and friend, we decided that we shoud give our son a brother or sister to keep him company. So we began trying. After 2 years we began to wonder what was going wrong, after all we weren't even trying for number 1. We had all the tests possible done and got given the lovely diagnosis of unexplained secondary infertility.
Basically it ment that cause we have had a baby before it's secondary and that we were both healthy and no one could work out why we couldn't get our BFP. So off we went to the gyno to start our treatment for a problem we didn't have to try and get our BFP. I ended up having to take clomid to ovulate, not that i wasn't already but just to make sure. So i would take the tablets from cd5 to cd9 and then get a blood test on cd21. i'ld ring the doctor on cd 26 to get the results, which always said i O'ed. Then on cd 29 i was to take provera to bring on a blead if i hadn't started already. This was my life, living from week to week, test to test for about 8 months.
i then decided that i needed a break and wanted to enjoy life for a bit so DH and i NTNP for about 4 months just to have a rest and focus on us for a bit (we also had family problems back home to deal with). After this i went back to the gyno to ffind that all the meds i had been given made me develop extra follies that didn't release so i had ovaries full of developed follies that had began to lengthen my cycle. The dr said i had to have surgery to remove them but to continue with more clomid cycles in the mean time cause i couldn't do injectables with my ovaries the way they were.
i ended up having the surgery and began to get my cycle back but still didn't get my BFP. So we were sent for IVF as that was probally the only way i was going to get my baby. so dh and i went through all the tests again and were due to start IVF in February 2008. However it was not to be the way cause 6 days before my first round of IVF i got a pleasent suprise i got my BFP. my DD was born in september that year. My son was 6 years and 4 months when she was born.
Only a few hourrs after her birth i decided that i wanted more kids, and after all the trouble having her we decided to NTNP for the next 2 years just so i could have a normal cycle and if we neeeded when we where ready we could tell the doctors we'd been trying for years and be able to mover on to whatever we needed straight away. Needless to say thats not what happened. MY DS2 was born in november in 2008.
I also put on 35 kg with my first son and developed PND which was never diagnosed cause i was to scared to get help and worried that the Dr would say i souldn't havve more kids.
the sad end to this story is that i'm back TTC for over 8 months now and had a mc in feb 2010 at 5+4 and i'm about to have meds to help get my BFP.
So I managed to get through the tough times and come out the otherside with a baby in my arms not once but twice and am willing to do it all again (even IVF if needed) cause i know its tough but worth every minute cause ever time i look at my kids they rock my world and i wouldn't hve it any other way.
The reason for my rantt here is i don't want to have clomid again cause i knoow it doesn't work for me, but how do i get injectables to help with O and not have to go through the heartache of having to have at least 6 cycles of clomid?? i'm not sure i could go through another 6 cycles of trying something i know wont work just to get to trying something that may. Also has anyone had anything other that clomid that can tell me their story?
Thanks for listening
Mary
When i was 15 i was raped by the love of my life. Not only did he take my innocence but he also took my virginity and broke my heart. When he was done he told me to clean up and leave cause his mum would be home in 30 mins and i shouldn't be there. I had to go to schoool every day after this and spend every day during class time sitting 2 meters away from this guy pretending it didn't happen. During the next 2 months i met someone else and started to rebuild my life, i eventually told him about my rape and he was very supportive, however i didn't tell him the truth. i said i got drunk and slept with the other guy. If the rape didn't damage me enough 2 months later i found out i was pregnant. I had to hide this from everyone i knew except my new BF. He was fine with it and said he didn't mind. So just when i had come to terms with everything on boxing day i MC at 14+ weeks. i was flown to the nearest hospital for surgery. When doctors asked if i wanted the baby of they could save it my mum told them that there was no way and the decision was made. During then next 1 and a half years my BF was physically and emotionally abusive to me. I eventually had the courage to leave to, but the damage was done the only 2 men in my life had broken my spirit and damaged my soul for life.
Then i met my DH almost 11 years ago now. 2 months later he proposed, i said yes and we celebrated. A month later i got my BFP and was suprised as i was going through investigations due to a very high prolactin level. During the next few months i was happily preggers. I went into prem labour at 24 weeks, they manager to stop it but i was told to have bed rest and not do anything like washing, or walking for more 30mins. i was also hospitalised at 30 weeks with cramps. They found out later that it was due to blood clots in my uterus. Anyway in the end i had a very healthy baby boy weighing 10 pounds.
I was exstatic and after 5 months and a move interstate away form all family and friend, we decided that we shoud give our son a brother or sister to keep him company. So we began trying. After 2 years we began to wonder what was going wrong, after all we weren't even trying for number 1. We had all the tests possible done and got given the lovely diagnosis of unexplained secondary infertility.
Basically it ment that cause we have had a baby before it's secondary and that we were both healthy and no one could work out why we couldn't get our BFP. So off we went to the gyno to start our treatment for a problem we didn't have to try and get our BFP. I ended up having to take clomid to ovulate, not that i wasn't already but just to make sure. So i would take the tablets from cd5 to cd9 and then get a blood test on cd21. i'ld ring the doctor on cd 26 to get the results, which always said i O'ed. Then on cd 29 i was to take provera to bring on a blead if i hadn't started already. This was my life, living from week to week, test to test for about 8 months.
i then decided that i needed a break and wanted to enjoy life for a bit so DH and i NTNP for about 4 months just to have a rest and focus on us for a bit (we also had family problems back home to deal with). After this i went back to the gyno to ffind that all the meds i had been given made me develop extra follies that didn't release so i had ovaries full of developed follies that had began to lengthen my cycle. The dr said i had to have surgery to remove them but to continue with more clomid cycles in the mean time cause i couldn't do injectables with my ovaries the way they were.
i ended up having the surgery and began to get my cycle back but still didn't get my BFP. So we were sent for IVF as that was probally the only way i was going to get my baby. so dh and i went through all the tests again and were due to start IVF in February 2008. However it was not to be the way cause 6 days before my first round of IVF i got a pleasent suprise i got my BFP. my DD was born in september that year. My son was 6 years and 4 months when she was born.
Only a few hourrs after her birth i decided that i wanted more kids, and after all the trouble having her we decided to NTNP for the next 2 years just so i could have a normal cycle and if we neeeded when we where ready we could tell the doctors we'd been trying for years and be able to mover on to whatever we needed straight away. Needless to say thats not what happened. MY DS2 was born in november in 2008.
I also put on 35 kg with my first son and developed PND which was never diagnosed cause i was to scared to get help and worried that the Dr would say i souldn't havve more kids.
the sad end to this story is that i'm back TTC for over 8 months now and had a mc in feb 2010 at 5+4 and i'm about to have meds to help get my BFP.
So I managed to get through the tough times and come out the otherside with a baby in my arms not once but twice and am willing to do it all again (even IVF if needed) cause i know its tough but worth every minute cause ever time i look at my kids they rock my world and i wouldn't hve it any other way.
The reason for my rantt here is i don't want to have clomid again cause i knoow it doesn't work for me, but how do i get injectables to help with O and not have to go through the heartache of having to have at least 6 cycles of clomid?? i'm not sure i could go through another 6 cycles of trying something i know wont work just to get to trying something that may. Also has anyone had anything other that clomid that can tell me their story?
Thanks for listening
Mary
Not sure how your health care system works. Can you request injectables? I'm not sure how it works with your drs., but you may not have to use Clomid again since you've already had so many cycles with it. It's worth asking.
soon xx
for my cycle buddy 
I just want to say thanks to everyone for your comments. i don't feel quite so bad about asking the doctor for injectables now. Sometimes i think you just need the reassurance of others telling you its ok to trust your gut.
