Need a buddy - 37 & TTC #1

[Ahnshi]

Hello lovely ladies - I'm brand new to this forum. Still learning all the acronyms and what not. I'm 37 yo and ttc baby #1. In cd8. Me and DH been married for only 6 months. This is our 2nd month trying. Any other ladies in the same boat or near? I could use some encouragement. Baby dust to all

 

[xs5]

I am going to be 37 soon we are trying for our 1st together. This is only our second month trying, hoping it won't take too long! I am sooo not good with the stress!

 

[Oakbay]

Hi ladies, I am 37 and ttc#2. This is our second month of TTC and tomorrow is test day! :AF: is due Saturday and I have already got negatives the last couple days. Hoping that the little one just didn't have enough to make themselves known!

Can I join you? I can't seem to find a lot of ladies in the first few months of trying. Hopefully we all won't have to wait long

What methods are you using? Opk, charting, just dd lots?

 

[tryfor2]

What Oakbay said! I am 37, TTC #2, but in our third cycle of trying. I got pregnant our first try of my first cycle last time, so I am feeling frustrated already. I know I have no right to be, considering the YEARS of TTC and invasive procedures many of the women on here have endured, but that's honestly how I feel. I just started tracking when we started TTC and my cycles seem a bit wonky (v. late ovulation, low BBT, spotting, some brown blood etc) so I'm a little worried there might be a problem. Gotta put in the time trying before seeing a dr. though, so that's what I'm doing... Yes, as nice as I'm sure all of you ladies are, I hope to not be on here much longer! Good luck testing tomorrow Oakbay.

 

[Oakbay]

I got pregnant our first try of my first cycle last time, so I am feeling frustrated already. I know I have no right to be, considering the YEARS of TTC and invasive procedures many of the women on here have endured, but that's honestly how I feel.

I know what you mean....I almost feel guilty complaining about not getting a positive the first month with all of the other issues that other couples are experiencing. It's difficult because I want to be sensitive to everyone but also want to get support as well. I have never had a bad experience or anything but I see that a lot of newbies don't seem to get the questions answered and others seem to be annoyed for asking certain things.

Tracking things should help tryfor2. I don't think anyone is the same very cycle. I know I'm not. Only going to give things a go for 6 months and if nothing happens, we will seek help

 

[Ahnshi]

I too hope we won't be here long. It is stressful as it is being in the "older" batch of women ttc. I know it's still early for me but seeing AF was last month was a big bummer. My cycles are a bit irregular so predicting ovulation last month took a little bit of guess work.
This month I'm trying the Clearblue Easy ovulation test to see if I have any luck with that.
Lots of luck to you all.

 

[tryfor2]

Exactly Oakbay. The women I've encountered on this 35+ forum have been nothing but lovely, but I've seen other threads where poor souls have gotten torn up and spat out! And I agree, I almost don't want to reply when asked on here how long I've been trying. I'm sure it must be super annoying to those who have been trying for years and I don't want to irritate but this is me and where I am right now so....

Agreed Ahnshi, it's stressful as it is being older and TTC. I'm almost sheepish about it bc so many people (stupidly) think women 35+ have no business having babies. Those are the people to whom I crow the loudest about getting pregnant pretty much instantly at 35.5 and having virtually no issues during my pregnancy. People can be so rude and narrow minded though. I was recently at a dinner and was sharing some details of my difficult delivery to someone, and another guest (who, of course, had her kids in her early 20s) said "Oh, these older mothers... My advice? Have your kids young. I had both my kids in two hours." I politely informed her that yes, statistically there are more complications in pregnancies involving older mothers but that age has nothing to do with how quickly you have your baby and cited two people I know who had worse experiences in their late twenties. She didn't respond but I could tell she thought I was just being defensive and didn't agree. I wanted to smack her.

It was very hard to see AF my first month trying as well. Actually, I'd been so convinced I was pg, having AF come shocked me. It was really hard to digest. I can't imagine what it must be like to see that month after month after month.... Let's hope none of us ever has to know.

Didn't mean to write a novel--sorry! Good luck to us all.

 

[ERosePW]

Hi girls, I wondered if I could join you for a bit. I've been trying a long time, but I am 37 and trying for my first, so we have that in common. I've seen a lot of girls in their early 20s TTC#1, and they're very sweet, but we're probably worlds apart in our mindset (I can't help but feel like they feel sorry for me when they see my age, lol). Don't worry at all about feeling guilty that you just started ttc! It doesn't get to me when I see women upset at AF after only one cycle, because the way I see it is that we're all trying for the same thing, we all want the same thing, and I think when most women make that choice to start their family, they want it BAD....just as bad as someone who's been trying for a year like me. And I also remember how I felt in my first couple months as well. I may not have been quite as stressed/worried back then, but it was still just as disappointing getting AF. I'm always happy to see ladies get their BFPs, no matter how long/short they've been ttc.

I get what you're saying about not always getting questions answered...when I first started, my posts hung out there all by their lonesome, lol! I don't think it had anything to do with me being new though. I think it was just a coincidence, as it still happens now occasionally, so it's probably just that not every question is seen since there are a lot on here. It's why I often make a point of looking at the posts that have 0 responses, and I try to answer those specifically. I might even be a good resource for you. Always happy to help if I can!

Anyway, 37 and ttc#1, and it's always nice to chat with women my age.

---EDIT---
Oh, I should add that I started clomid last month, so I'm on my 2nd round. My DH was out of town last month the 4 days leading up to ovulation, so I feel like we lost a lot of chances last month. He arrived home the day I O'd, but it was 4pm, so not sure if we just missed it or what. We'll both be in town this time, and it's my 2nd round, so I'm very hopeful this time!!!

 

[Ahnshi]

Thank you for your words of encouragement and support ERosePW. These forums are meant to get answers and get support and not to shame or bash anyone. All of you ladies have been kind.

Oakbay - I too am giving it 6 months before I seek help. That's what the docs would probably suggest anyways.

 

[xs5]

I can relate to everything! I feel inbetween, the pressure of being older, but still being a newbie at ttc. I feel so ignorant sometimes.

 

[Oakbay]

It's so comforting to be able to discuss things with you that are all for g through the same thing. .

Erosepw - I try and respond to those who don't have any responses either. Lol.

I got another bfn pregnancy test this am. I was so hopeful. I keep telling myself I am not out until :AF: shows, which should be tomorrow. I keep looking at other charts who get a negative on 10 dpo and then a positive in 11 dpo - it does happen!

Do any if you ladies know that if you have a shorter cycle. (26 days, ovulated on day 15). Makes the early pregnancy tests not work? Not work as in, obviously it can't work for me 6 days sooner as implantation wouldn't have happened yet. I read that implantation can occur anywhere between 9-12 dpo, if my lunar cycle is only 11 days, will I have to wait until after AF is due to get a positive or does implantation always happen earlier?

 

[ERosePW]

It's so comforting to be able to discuss things with you that are all for g through the same thing. .

Erosepw - I try and respond to those who don't have any responses either. Lol.

I got another bfn pregnancy test this am. I was so hopeful. I keep telling myself I am not out until :AF: shows, which should be tomorrow. I keep looking at other charts who get a negative on 10 dpo and then a positive in 11 dpo - it does happen!

Do any if you ladies know that if you have a shorter cycle. (26 days, ovulated on day 15). Makes the early pregnancy tests not work? Not work as in, obviously it can't work for me 6 days sooner as implantation wouldn't have happened yet. I read that implantation can occur anywhere between 9-12 dpo, if my lunar cycle is only 11 days, will I have to wait until after AF is due to get a positive or does implantation always happen earlier?

Oakbay, yes, it does happen for sure! In fact, two of my girlfriends didnt get their BFPs until after they had already missed AF. And a coworker's wife never even got a BFP on a HPT. She had to go in for bloodwork to find out. So remember, it's not over until AF arrives!

So you have a pretty short luteal phase then. Is it the same every cycle? Implantation needs to happen as early as possible for you then, because you are correct, it can take up to 12 days for implantation (but from what I've heard, it CAN happen as early as 6 days), and with a short luteal phase, your body doesn't give that embryo much time to get from the tube and into the uterine wall. But don't fret over that at all...you could implant at 6 days, which would give that embryo five more days to get comfy and let your body know that you're prego so that AF stays away! I'm very hopeful for you this cycle.

 

[oldermom1975]

Hi ladies!
I wondered if I could join you, as I am 38 and trying for my second child. We tried for seven years to have our first, and that only occurred after a D&C (after a blighted ovum and excessive bleeding). We have a beautiful girl that we thank God for every day! I was nearly 37 when we conceived, so yes ladies- it can happen!
Since the birth, we have had three chemical pregnancies- I am just coming off of my latest- so getting pregnant isn't our problem, staying pregnant is.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say hello, and wish all of you ladies a short stay on the TTC boards!

 

[ERosePW]

Hi ladies!
I wondered if I could join you, as I am 38 and trying for my second child. We tried for seven years to have our first, and that only occurred after a D&C (after a blighted ovum and excessive bleeding). We have a beautiful girl that we thank God for every day! I was nearly 37 when we conceived, so yes ladies- it can happen!
Since the birth, we have had three chemical pregnancies- I am just coming off of my latest- so getting pregnant isn't our problem, staying pregnant is.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say hello, and wish all of you ladies a short stay on the TTC boards!

Welcome! Wow, seven years! What a blessing to have your beautiful daughter now. I'm so very sorry for all the CPs. That must be one big emotional roller coaster. If you don't mind my asking, has your doc been able to determine the cause, and what are they doing to assist in maintaining? Is it the usual prog supplements, or does it go deeper than just prog levels? Welcome to the thread. I love chatting with women my own age and hearing their stories, especially a success story after 7 yrs. Its very inspiring.

 

[oldermom1975]

ERose,

Yes, we are sooo happy with our daughter, thank-you! The CP's are heartbreaking, but we keep telling ourselves that we will have another when/if we are meant to. But of course we are trying everything we can to actually succeed.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis about four years into TTC. That is when my first doc sent me to a specialist. We had had several medicated IUI's at that point with no success, not even a CP. We then tried IVF with my new RE, who diagnosed us with DOR. The result of our two cycles was an oversuppression of my ovaries (no follicles produced at all), and another cancelled cycle due to an 'irregular response' to my meds (I ovulated my eggs before egg retrieval). They wouldn't do any more IVF's, and I got the dreaded donor egg speech. We couldn't afford DE IVF, so we took the other option, which was embryo donation. We had four frozen embryo transfers, with the end result of two chemicals and the blighted ovum I mentioned above. Then our daughter arrived
I don't want this to be too long of a post, but the cycle our daughter was conceived was a clomid cycle. Just clomid! After all of that! We were just...amazed! I didn't expect a lot of help from the clomid when I decided to take it, I just wanted to make sure I ovulated (as my mother hit menopause at 37), and didn't go into premature ovarian failure. I think we dtd maybe twice in that whole fertile window. Then one day I just knew- not sure how- something just told me to test. And my test was faintly positive. We were floored, to say the least.
Anyway (sorry about the length of this post), my latest doc tested my progesterone mid-luteal phase and it was low. So we are supplementing with progesterone, and next summer will do a few more IUI's if we are not pregnant by then. No RE will take me now because of my age and undetectable AMH levels, plus it is just too expensive. So for the next few months it will be clomid and possibly femara.

 

[oldermom1975]

Oh, and I am totally with all of you ladies who expressed the different mindset of the young and older mom. Of course not everyone asks about my age- but you can sort of tell sometimes when they look at the baby and than look at you.... Nertz to them! When I told my doc about this, she laughed at the stupidity of some and told me to buy some hair dye- nobody would be the wiser! She is so awesome!
I must say though, I wasn't ready to be a mother in my 20's. It wasn't just the lack of a good companion, I was just way too immature. With all of the fertility hardship we had, it turned out the way it was supposed to. We were definitely ready for our DD! This is also why nobody in this thread should feel ashamed of succeeding easily- I really hope you all do!

 

[terripeachy]

Hi oldermom. It's funny that's the handle you chose. It makes me laugh, even though I'm older than you are, but I'm not a mom. I have a shaved head now, so you may want to try that and no one will see the gray. HA!!HA!! It's not for everyone.

Anyway, your story is inspiring, and I hope that TTC#2 is a lot easier. I am going to the doctor tomorrow after trying for 4 months. I think she will give me clomid, but we'll see..my window of opportunity is getting smaller and smaller.

Wishing you the best.

 

[oldermom1975]

Hi oldermom. It's funny that's the handle you chose. It makes me laugh, even though I'm older than you are, but I'm not a mom. I have a shaved head now, so you may want to try that and no one will see the gray. HA!!HA!! It's not for everyone.

Anyway, your story is inspiring, and I hope that TTC#2 is a lot easier. I am going to the doctor tomorrow after trying for 4 months. I think she will give me clomid, but we'll see..my window of opportunity is getting smaller and smaller.

Wishing you the best.

Welcome Peachy!

I originally wanted the same designation I had in the hospital when I was giving birth: geriatric mom. Seriously. That was one of my 'risk factors' !
When I pointed it out to my doc she told me it wasn't a personal comment, it was an actual term. LOL! That makes me feel better!
I understand about that window closing. It is good you are being aggressive about it, I twiddled my thumbs for two years before I went into the doc. If anything, you will benefit from asking questions and you will leave understanding more (if not, leave the twerp).
Good luck at the doc's! Let us know how it goes!

 

[oldermom1975]

Hi oldermom. It's funny that's the handle you chose. It makes me laugh, even though I'm older than you are, but I'm not a mom. I have a shaved head now, so you may want to try that and no one will see the gray. HA!!HA!! It's not for everyone.

Ha! I have thought about it, it was a couple of inches long on my whole head for about four years. Probably not though, my head is really really bumpy.

 

[Ahnshi]

Welcome to the group to all that joined this past week. I created this thread because I strongly felt that there isn't anything wrong with ttc when you're 35+ , and also that there weren't too many threads about women in their late 30s that were ttc their first (or second). I wanted this to be place of support. I want to hear success stories from women around my age. I would genuinely feel happy for any of you that get a BFP. It really would give me hope.

I don't think I was ready to have a baby in my 20's. I personally needed to be married and at a stable place in my life, which I was not at that time. I didn't meet my DH until a little later in life. We are both so looking forward to starting a family.

Thank you to all that have joined and responded so far. Don't feel bad about posting "novels". You are bringing a world of knowledge to those of us that are new to the process.