Need a buddy - 37 & TTC #1

[Blueshoney]

Hellos lovely ladies! Can I join you guys?

I'm 35, DH is 32 and we are currently TTC #1. We have been together for 9 years but didn't get married until this past July. We started TTC in September but we missed October due to travel and being at my Mom's house during the "primetime".

I started tracking my cycles this summer and they are pretty regular so far. No temping, using OPKs and the ClearBlue Fertility Monitor. Cycles are usually 26-27 days long, with a 12-day luteal phase. We shall see what this cycle holds.......I am currently 2 DPO.

I'm thinking I'll try testing on Thanksgiving Day. If it doesn't happen this month, then we are taking a break until February. We are taking our late honeymoon then and I guess I just figure that being in the first trimester isn't ideal. Going off the hope that if I do get pregnant this month, that if I do have any nausea/morning sickness it will be gone by then.......

Yea another who's is older than their spouse!!! In my day to day life, I've rarely encountered ny other couples like me!

 

[ERosePW]

Hellos lovely ladies! Can I join you guys?

I'm 35, DH is 32 and we are currently TTC #1. We have been together for 9 years but didn't get married until this past July. We started TTC in September but we missed October due to travel and being at my Mom's house during the "primetime".

I started tracking my cycles this summer and they are pretty regular so far. No temping, using OPKs and the ClearBlue Fertility Monitor. Cycles are usually 26-27 days long, with a 12-day luteal phase. We shall see what this cycle holds.......I am currently 2 DPO.

I'm thinking I'll try testing on Thanksgiving Day. If it doesn't happen this month, then we are taking a break until February. We are taking our late honeymoon then and I guess I just figure that being in the first trimester isn't ideal. Going off the hope that if I do get pregnant this month, that if I do have any nausea/morning sickness it will be gone by then.......

Welcome booger76! I'll be testing two days before Thanksgiving, so we're pretty close.

 

[ERosePW]

Oh, and blueshoney, I agree, I dont know anyone else in my day-to-day life that is four years older than their DHs! So, it's nice to meet some on here!

 

[Bunnyslug]

Hi everyone! I just signed up today and have been lurking for about five days now. I'm 37 and my partner is turning 40 in a few weeks. We have been ttc for 7 months after a 4 month break after maybe 6 months of trying. So about a year now total I would say.
Some background on me- I am very close friends with some girls from high school. We all settled dozen late and my three close friends had their first children last year or year before. My best friend has been trying for six months now and got her BFP on Monday for her 2 nd child. I guess now I feel a little lonely and came here for support.

I just had my blood work done and my partner will reluctantly do his sperm test this week. He has a 6 yo and 4 yo so doesn't think it's him, but the fertility specialist won't see me wo his results.

Every month I am so optimistic and think I am pregnant! Every month I am not. You would think after a year... I would be more discouraged.

I'm going to start charting next cycle. I hope it helps.

 

[terripeachy]

Hi Bunnyslug and welcome!

 

[ERosePW]

Hi Bunnyslug! I can relate to a lot of what you just said. Although most of my friends started way earlier than me, two of my best friends started later in life like me. My best friend (same age as me) was starting just before me, and I planned on waiting a few more months (after a trip I had planned). Well, I didnt even have time to start trying before she got her BFP! Only took her three months, lucky girl. I have been trying for a year now, and my other friend who's two years younger than me, is going to start trying in a couple months. As sad as I am to say it, I'm terrified that when she gets her BFP, i will STILL be trying. However, I push those thoughts right outta my head (its best to stay outta my head anyway), and I remain optimistic. I hope to not be in the TTC forums for too much longer, hehe! (as much as I LOVE all the ladies!) Good luck and baby dust to you!

 

[booger76]

Thanks for the welcome! I don't know too many women either that are a few years older than their partner. When my husband and I first met, he lied and told me he was older than he really was - haha.

Future Mom - my good friend at work, who is 35 like me, has a husband who is 56. They have a healthy 5-year old boy and 2-year old girl. So while I know paternal age does matter, it may not be as much of as an issue as would be with a woman. But everyone is different, so it is really hard to say, I suppose.

 

[oldermom1975]

Welcome to everyone!

Thanks for the welcome! I don't know too many women either that are a few years older than their partner. When my husband and I first met, he lied and told me he was older than he really was - haha.


I am a little over a year older than my DH, I was 28 and he was 27 when we met. He told me that he thought I was too young for him- what a sweetie! Two of my three brothers also married older women. My younger brother and his wife met online, and they were in two different age brackets!

 

[oldermom1975]

As sad as I am to say it, I'm terrified that when she gets her BFP, i will STILL be trying. However, I push those thoughts right outta my head (its best to stay outta my head anyway), and I remain optimistic. I hope to not be in the TTC forums for too much longer, hehe! (as much as I LOVE all the ladies!) Good luck and baby dust to you!

I recently came to that conclusion myself- I am trying to stay out of my "ttc mind-bubble", and focus on other things. My DH and I are so blessed- it should be easier than it seems!

One of my worst low points was when my younger brother and his wife had their third child- we started trying at the same time. I felt like such a heel for the first month or so, but it was soooo hard. I couldn't even hold him for long periods of time.
I guess by telling you guys this I wanted to convey that you shouldn't be too hard on yourselves for hurting that way. My brother and SIL were good about it, and anyone who loves you will be, too (even if they don't fully understand). Be good to yourselves, and keep your (collective) chins up!

 

[ERosePW]

As sad as I am to say it, I'm terrified that when she gets her BFP, i will STILL be trying. However, I push those thoughts right outta my head (its best to stay outta my head anyway), and I remain optimistic. I hope to not be in the TTC forums for too much longer, hehe! (as much as I LOVE all the ladies!) Good luck and baby dust to you!

I recently came to that conclusion myself- I am trying to stay out of my "ttc mind-bubble", and focus on other things. My DH and I are so blessed- it should be easier than it seems!

One of my worst low points was when my younger brother and his wife had their third child- we started trying at the same time. I felt like such a heel for the first month or so, but it was soooo hard. I couldn't even hold him for long periods of time.
I guess by telling you guys this I wanted to convey that you shouldn't be too hard on yourselves for hurting that way. My brother and SIL were good about it, and anyone who loves you will be, too (even if they don't fully understand). Be good to yourselves, and keep your (collective) chins up!

Thanks, I love that everyone here understands so well! My husband's cousin just got her BFP and she's only been married 5months. She's 4 yrs younger than me. When DH told me, he broke the news gently, although I'm not sure why, as I've generally been ok w/ others around me getting prego. Interestingly though, later that night, I got to thinking about how excited his whole family was going to be for her, and just the idea of the family gossip and how they're probably all wondering when we're going to start our family since I'm 37 years old. Not sure if they know we've been trying. He told his mother, and I'm not sure she has the ability to be quiet about it.

 

[oldermom1975]

[/QUOTE]

Thanks, I love that everyone here understands so well! My husband's cousin just got her BFP and she's only been married 5months. She's 4 yrs younger than me. When DH told me, he broke the news gently, although I'm not sure why, as I've generally been ok w/ others around me getting prego. Interestingly though, later that night, I got to thinking about how excited his whole family was going to be for her, and just the idea of the family gossip and how they're probably all wondering when we're going to start our family since I'm 37 years old. Not sure if they know we've been trying. He told his mother, and I'm not sure she has the ability to be quiet about it. [/QUOTE]

Yeah, family pressure can stink sometimes. They mean well, but...
That was very sensitive of your DH! Do you suppose it bothers him? I think the only thing that bothers mine is how unhappy it makes me when we lose ours and others so easily get theirs. He's disappointed, but not broken up about our losses.

 

[Blueshoney]

Thanks, I love that everyone here understands so well! My husband's cousin just got her BFP and she's only been married 5months. She's 4 yrs younger than me. When DH told me, he broke the news gently, although I'm not sure why, as I've generally been ok w/ others around me getting prego. Interestingly though, later that night, I got to thinking about how excited his whole family was going to be for her, and just the idea of the family gossip and how they're probably all wondering when we're going to start our family since I'm 37 years old. Not sure if they know we've been trying. He told his mother, and I'm not sure she has the ability to be quiet about it. [/QUOTE]

Yeah, family pressure can stink sometimes. They mean well, but...
That was very sensitive of your DH! Do you suppose it bothers him? I think the only thing that bothers mine is how unhappy it makes me when we lose ours and others so easily get theirs. He's disappointed, but not broken up about our losses.[/QUOTE]

Its weird my family is opposite. They all assume I don't want kids because I focused on me first. They make "jokes" about how I will be alone. So I have not shared with them that I'm TTC now because I really don't want tohear from them that I waited to long.

 

[booger76]

Its weird my family is opposite. They all assume I don't want kids because I focused on me first. They make "jokes" about how I will be alone. So I have not shared with them that I'm TTC now because I really don't want tohear from them that I waited to long.

I am the same way. I haven't told anyone we are TTC. Partly because it's easier to play the game of "We aren't sure we want to be parents" than it seems like it would be to deal with all the annoying questions. Nosy and pushy people already drive me nuts.......we had flu shots administered the other day at work and people were peering over at my consent form to see if I had checked the box saying I might be pregnant. Sigh.

 

[Bunnyslug]

Hi guys! It's raining here and I'm just hanging out with two cats on my back and my golden retriever. I was laid off a month ago, and now I have some time on my hands. Is anyone reading anything that is a must read right now? I just read " taking control of your fertility" that I picked up at the used book store. We'll see...about that.

I get no pressure from my parents. Maybe my friends had kids late bc their parents are older too. My mom's two sisters married late and didn't have any kids. I live in the Bay Area too, near San Francisco and no one here bats an eyelash at women in their 40s who are pregnant. My friend is an ob gyn and said kaiser sf delivers a skyrocketing number of first time babies to women in their late 30s early 40s.

So I have this little fantasy. I'm going on a snow trip to Tahoe last weekend of jan. Me, my four girlfriends, spouses, partners, and all their kids. I'm the only one without kids. But it would be soooo soooo cool if I could be pregnant at that time! It's my Christmas wish.

Today is day 32 of my cycle. Last month was 32 days, but I vary from 26 to 32. Hmmm.

 

[ERosePW]

oldermom, I think its the same with my DH... it seems to only bother him that it bothers me. Although, i have to admit, he does love being the center of attention when he has a special announcement for his family... he seemed to love the attention when we got engaged. So I think he does look forward to being able to make that announcement.

Bunny, omg, so you should know something very soon, huh?! Wow, GL, and keep us posted!!! Oh, and it's somewhat similar here in Orlando as in San Fran... probably not as much, but its my friends down here that actually waited until over 35. I did, however, grow up in Kentucky. So most of my closest friends that I grew up with, are the ones that started early, hehe.

 

[oldermom1975]

Good luck bunny!

We tried to keep it a secret that we are trying again, but with our chemical in August, we were out of town and needed to book it home to go to the doctor's office (to find out what was happening- worried about an ectopic). Our sudden appearance and doctor's appointments couldn't be explained any other way.

 

[Blueshoney]

oldermom, I think its the same with my DH... it seems to only bother him that it bothers me. Although, i have to admit, he does love being the center of attention when he has a special announcement for his family... he seemed to love the attention when we got engaged. So I think he does look forward to being able to make that announcement.

Bunny, omg, so you should know something very soon, huh?! Wow, GL, and keep us posted!!! Oh, and it's somewhat similar here in Orlando as in San Fran... probably not as much, but its my friends down here that actually waited until over 35. I did, however, grow up in Kentucky. So most of my closest friends that I grew up with, are the ones that started early, hehe.

I'm in Southern California and people seem to have children in their late 20s. I am like the only one of my friends and family without any children.

 

[Bunnyslug]

Hey gang! AF yesterday. Im ok. Some months I cry and pout. Some months I don't. I'm ok this month. It's kind of torturous waiting tho, especially on my sporadic longer cycles. Would be helpful if a big red star appeared on your belly after conception.
My best friend insisted I try acupuncture so I did my first round today. I have to say, it was extremely relaxing. DH did not do his Semen analysis today as promised! He said too many meetings so maybe tomorrow. Hmffff.

 

[tryfor2]

Hey gang! AF yesterday. Im ok. Some months I cry and pout. Some months I don't. I'm ok this month. It's kind of torturous waiting tho, especially on my sporadic longer cycles. Would be helpful if a big red star appeared on your belly after conception.
My best friend insisted I try acupuncture so I did my first round today. I have to say, it was extremely relaxing. DH did not do his Semen analysis today as promised! He said too many meetings so maybe tomorrow. Hmffff.

I'm so sorry. Even when you're not gutted by it, AF is still a slap in the face. Yeah, it's so bloody (no pun intended, honest) annoying that pregnancy is virtually undetectable at first. It certainly doesn't stay that way.

If this turns out to be another BFN cycle I am trying acupuncture too. I've heard wonderful things and hope it works for you.

I'm a pouter and wallower, so I'm impressed that you are okay. I doubt I'd be able to swing that even once!

 

[Blueshoney]

Hey gang! AF yesterday. Im ok. Some months I cry and pout. Some months I don't. I'm ok this month. It's kind of torturous waiting tho, especially on my sporadic longer cycles. Would be helpful if a big red star appeared on your belly after conception.
My best friend insisted I try acupuncture so I did my first round today. I have to say, it was extremely relaxing. DH did not do his Semen analysis today as promised! He said too many meetings so maybe tomorrow. Hmffff.

Oh I am so sorry. I am interested what you think about the acupuncture.