Need opinions please...

[Jessicahide]

So the concern is that you can't pass the baby off as your Ex's to your family? Baby is yours, thats all they should care about!

 

[SleepyBaby]

Dont worry about being judged, everyone has those moments in life where they do something that others wouldnt approve of, everyone, no one has the right to judge you! I myself have been in the whoops, whos the daddy saga, i miscarried at 9 weeks though at that point i didnt care who the daddy was, i was the mommy and it was my baby anywho...

If the truth about the one night stand comes out hold your head high, your ex should be embarrased, he should never have put that on you! It sounds like he is emotionally abusive and a total jerk!

As for the test in the clinic being very faint, those tests are full rubbish! my friend was 3-4 weeks pregnant on a clearblue digital and the clinic test said negitive lol all withing 3 hours from clearblue to clinic!

Dating scans at 12 weeks are known for being off for dates, here we dont get actual due date until 20 week scan! they are more to say yep babys there, heartbeat seen, everything looks well, then give you a general age of baby but if its off by 1mm your dates get all off! Early dating scans are known for freaking people out who chart, track and write down when they bed down!

Is it the one night stand? lets do some math!

2nd or 3rd to 7th is four or five days?

* one day for conception ( usually takes a few hours up to 5 days!)
* one day for implantation ( usually takes 6 to 8 days )
* one or two days for positive test (not expected to be positive until 3-4 days after implantation (at the very earliest))

If i where you i would be certain its the ex's =)

Hope you can feel more at ease soon x x

 

[LennaG]

Dont worry about being judged, everyone has those moments in life where they do something that others wouldnt approve of, everyone, no one has the right to judge you! I myself have been in the whoops, whos the daddy saga, i miscarried at 9 weeks though at that point i didnt care who the daddy was, i was the mommy and it was my baby anywho...

If the truth about the one night stand comes out hold your head high, your ex should be embarrased, he should never have put that on you! It sounds like he is emotionally abusive and a total jerk!

As for the test in the clinic being very faint, those tests are full rubbish! my friend was 3-4 weeks pregnant on a clearblue digital and the clinic test said negitive lol all withing 3 hours from clearblue to clinic!

Dating scans at 12 weeks are known for being off for dates, here we dont get actual due date until 20 week scan! they are more to say yep babys there, heartbeat seen, everything looks well, then give you a general age of baby but if its off by 1mm your dates get all off! Early dating scans are known for freaking people out who chart, track and write down when they bed down!

Is it the one night stand? lets do some math!

2nd or 3rd to 7th is four or five days?

* one day for conception ( usually takes a few hours up to 5 days!)
* one day for implantation ( usually takes 6 to 8 days )
* one or two days for positive test (not expected to be positive until 3-4 days after implantation (at the very earliest))

If i where you i would be certain its the ex's =)

Hope you can feel more at ease soon x x

So which scan would be more accurate then?? Also, at my anatomy scan at 21+1, the baby was measuring 3 days behind the Dec 13th dating scan, but they still kept my original due date of Dec 13th.

 

[LennaG]

So the concern is that you can't pass the baby off as your Ex's to your family? Baby is yours, thats all they should care about!

Im just hoping it's my ex's, because if not and turns out to be a different color, the whole manipulation into sleeping with his friend is going to come up and Im really not ready to tell my family about that. As far as they are concerned, my ex is the only guy I've had sex with. So they all think it's his. If it turns out not to be, Im going to be very embarrassed and the whole story is gonna come up and this pregnancy has already been VERY emotional and not a very good pregnancy for me. I just don't want to have to deal with even more than I already am. Im already overwhelmed.

 

[Jessicahide]

Dont worry about being judged, everyone has those moments in life where they do something that others wouldnt approve of, everyone, no one has the right to judge you! I myself have been in the whoops, whos the daddy saga, i miscarried at 9 weeks though at that point i didnt care who the daddy was, i was the mommy and it was my baby anywho...

If the truth about the one night stand comes out hold your head high, your ex should be embarrased, he should never have put that on you! It sounds like he is emotionally abusive and a total jerk!

As for the test in the clinic being very faint, those tests are full rubbish! my friend was 3-4 weeks pregnant on a clearblue digital and the clinic test said negitive lol all withing 3 hours from clearblue to clinic!

Dating scans at 12 weeks are known for being off for dates, here we dont get actual due date until 20 week scan! they are more to say yep babys there, heartbeat seen, everything looks well, then give you a general age of baby but if its off by 1mm your dates get all off! Early dating scans are known for freaking people out who chart, track and write down when they bed down!

Is it the one night stand? lets do some math!

2nd or 3rd to 7th is four or five days?

* one day for conception ( usually takes a few hours up to 5 days!)
* one day for implantation ( usually takes 6 to 8 days )
* one or two days for positive test (not expected to be positive until 3-4 days after implantation (at the very earliest))

If i where you i would be certain its the ex's =)

Hope you can feel more at ease soon x x

So which scan would be more accurate then?? Also, at my anatomy scan at 21+1, the baby was measuring 3 days behind the Dec 13th dating scan, but they still kept my original due date of Dec 13th.

If i were you, to ease your stress, i would just tell your family the truth, your ex is clearly a horrible abusive nasty person who has manipulated and coerced you into having sex with someone that you didn't want to. His abuse is now still ongoing as you are internalising and abusing yourself to the point that you can't enjoy YOUR baby.

I don't think your family will be surprised that this abusive man has done this to you, however your baby comes out, they are yours!!!!

 

[SleepyBaby]

I wouldnt put my faith in any scan getting the dates 100% right tbh, i dont believe all babies grow at excatly the same rate so going by how long the baby is to date a pregnancy is an educated guess, babies are all born different weights and lengths but two babies concieved on the same day and born on the same day will be different sizes!

If i where you i would go by conception as its the easiest way! the math for it being the one night stand doesnt add up at all! im betting even Usain Bolt's mum had to wait more then four or five or more days for a positive on a test

hope your ok though, i know it can be stressful x

 

[LennaG]

I wouldnt put my faith in any scan getting the dates 100% right tbh, i dont believe all babies grow at excatly the same rate so going by how long the baby is to date a pregnancy is an educated guess, babies are all born different weights and lengths but two babies concieved on the same day and born on the same day will be different sizes!

If i where you i would go by conception as its the easiest way! the math for it being the one night stand doesnt add up at all! im betting even Usain Bolt's mum had to wait more then four or five or more days for a positive on a test

hope your ok though, i know it can be stressful x

Im really not ok this has been stressing me out since early on in the pregnancy

 

[LennaG]

Dont worry about being judged, everyone has those moments in life where they do something that others wouldnt approve of, everyone, no one has the right to judge you! I myself have been in the whoops, whos the daddy saga, i miscarried at 9 weeks though at that point i didnt care who the daddy was, i was the mommy and it was my baby anywho...

If the truth about the one night stand comes out hold your head high, your ex should be embarrased, he should never have put that on you! It sounds like he is emotionally abusive and a total jerk!

As for the test in the clinic being very faint, those tests are full rubbish! my friend was 3-4 weeks pregnant on a clearblue digital and the clinic test said negitive lol all withing 3 hours from clearblue to clinic!

Dating scans at 12 weeks are known for being off for dates, here we dont get actual due date until 20 week scan! they are more to say yep babys there, heartbeat seen, everything looks well, then give you a general age of baby but if its off by 1mm your dates get all off! Early dating scans are known for freaking people out who chart, track and write down when they bed down!

Is it the one night stand? lets do some math!

2nd or 3rd to 7th is four or five days?

* one day for conception ( usually takes a few hours up to 5 days!)
* one day for implantation ( usually takes 6 to 8 days )
* one or two days for positive test (not expected to be positive until 3-4 days after implantation (at the very earliest))

If i where you i would be certain its the ex's =)

Hope you can feel more at ease soon x x

So which scan would be more accurate then?? Also, at my anatomy scan at 21+1, the baby was measuring 3 days behind the Dec 13th dating scan, but they still kept my original due date of Dec 13th.

If i were you, to ease your stress, i would just tell your family the truth, your ex is clearly a horrible abusive nasty person who has manipulated and coerced you into having sex with someone that you didn't want to. His abuse is now still ongoing as you are internalising and abusing yourself to the point that you can't enjoy YOUR baby.

I don't think your family will be surprised that this abusive man has done this to you, however your baby comes out, they are yours!!!!

I've come close to telling my mom a few times, but I just can't. I know she won't judge me as she has been supportive all through this, but I really just can't do it. If I tell her, she will tell my family and all our relatives, explaining to them because I honestly can't! Telling her would be hard enough. And then I'd have to explain to all my friends, and Im really not ready to go through all that.

 

[Jessicahide]

Dont worry about being judged, everyone has those moments in life where they do something that others wouldnt approve of, everyone, no one has the right to judge you! I myself have been in the whoops, whos the daddy saga, i miscarried at 9 weeks though at that point i didnt care who the daddy was, i was the mommy and it was my baby anywho...

If the truth about the one night stand comes out hold your head high, your ex should be embarrased, he should never have put that on you! It sounds like he is emotionally abusive and a total jerk!

As for the test in the clinic being very faint, those tests are full rubbish! my friend was 3-4 weeks pregnant on a clearblue digital and the clinic test said negitive lol all withing 3 hours from clearblue to clinic!

Dating scans at 12 weeks are known for being off for dates, here we dont get actual due date until 20 week scan! they are more to say yep babys there, heartbeat seen, everything looks well, then give you a general age of baby but if its off by 1mm your dates get all off! Early dating scans are known for freaking people out who chart, track and write down when they bed down!

Is it the one night stand? lets do some math!

2nd or 3rd to 7th is four or five days?

* one day for conception ( usually takes a few hours up to 5 days!)
* one day for implantation ( usually takes 6 to 8 days )
* one or two days for positive test (not expected to be positive until 3-4 days after implantation (at the very earliest))

If i where you i would be certain its the ex's =)

Hope you can feel more at ease soon x x

So which scan would be more accurate then?? Also, at my anatomy scan at 21+1, the baby was measuring 3 days behind the Dec 13th dating scan, but they still kept my original due date of Dec 13th.

If i were you, to ease your stress, i would just tell your family the truth, your ex is clearly a horrible abusive nasty person who has manipulated and coerced you into having sex with someone that you didn't want to. His abuse is now still ongoing as you are internalising and abusing yourself to the point that you can't enjoy YOUR baby.

I don't think your family will be surprised that this abusive man has done this to you, however your baby comes out, they are yours!!!!

I've come close to telling my mom a few times, but I just can't. I know she won't judge me as she has been supportive all through this, but I really just can't do it. If I tell her, she will tell my family and all our relatives, explaining to them because I honestly can't! Telling her would be hard enough. And then I'd have to explain to all my friends, and Im really not ready to go through all that.

Write her a letter, if i am honest i believe this man should be having nothing to do with your child if he is the father so i would approach the police and explain what has happened, he is an abuser, you don't have to tell anyone anything ( friends) they can do one, but i would tell your family, you don't need to go through this alone. I guarantee you are afraid to tell as he has conditioned you to feel like this is your fault and its not. Youyr baby will either come out a different colour or not, either way there is nothing you can do, and no amount of date counting will give you less stress, what will is telling your mum!

 

[SleepyBaby]

Its hard and hormones just add to making us overthink which makes it harder but try on focus on baby being yours! I recently broke up with my bubs dad and thats a full head melt on its own but i decided im going to find a way to just be happy and focus on my little family!

Ill be honest, i didnt want to get pregnant and i cried for over an hour until my neighbour found me in garden and talked some sense into me, but ive gone from that to building a cot in my room a couple of days ago and buying a few baby things and the more i focus on baby the happier i am, yes there are a few moments where i have a mini melt down to myself but thats ok!

You have to focus on the future, dont let your ex and his mate ruin it, tell your family he was abusive, imagine if your neice or sister or other female came to you and told you the story of what happened that night happened to them, you wouldnt judge them, you would judge him! alot!

You will be ok, from here on out just make it about you and your child, it will get easier x

 

[SleepyBaby]

also everything jessica said, i second that!

 

[LennaG]

Dont worry about being judged, everyone has those moments in life where they do something that others wouldnt approve of, everyone, no one has the right to judge you! I myself have been in the whoops, whos the daddy saga, i miscarried at 9 weeks though at that point i didnt care who the daddy was, i was the mommy and it was my baby anywho...

If the truth about the one night stand comes out hold your head high, your ex should be embarrased, he should never have put that on you! It sounds like he is emotionally abusive and a total jerk!

As for the test in the clinic being very faint, those tests are full rubbish! my friend was 3-4 weeks pregnant on a clearblue digital and the clinic test said negitive lol all withing 3 hours from clearblue to clinic!

Dating scans at 12 weeks are known for being off for dates, here we dont get actual due date until 20 week scan! they are more to say yep babys there, heartbeat seen, everything looks well, then give you a general age of baby but if its off by 1mm your dates get all off! Early dating scans are known for freaking people out who chart, track and write down when they bed down!

Is it the one night stand? lets do some math!

2nd or 3rd to 7th is four or five days?

* one day for conception ( usually takes a few hours up to 5 days!)
* one day for implantation ( usually takes 6 to 8 days )
* one or two days for positive test (not expected to be positive until 3-4 days after implantation (at the very earliest))

If i where you i would be certain its the ex's =)

Hope you can feel more at ease soon x x

So which scan would be more accurate then?? Also, at my anatomy scan at 21+1, the baby was measuring 3 days behind the Dec 13th dating scan, but they still kept my original due date of Dec 13th.

If i were you, to ease your stress, i would just tell your family the truth, your ex is clearly a horrible abusive nasty person who has manipulated and coerced you into having sex with someone that you didn't want to. His abuse is now still ongoing as you are internalising and abusing yourself to the point that you can't enjoy YOUR baby.

I don't think your family will be surprised that this abusive man has done this to you, however your baby comes out, they are yours!!!!

I've come close to telling my mom a few times, but I just can't. I know she won't judge me as she has been supportive all through this, but I really just can't do it. If I tell her, she will tell my family and all our relatives, explaining to them because I honestly can't! Telling her would be hard enough. And then I'd have to explain to all my friends, and Im really not ready to go through all that.

Write her a letter, if i am honest i believe this man should be having nothing to do with your child if he is the father so i would approach the police and explain what has happened, he is an abuser, you don't have to tell anyone anything ( friends) they can do one, but i would tell your family, you don't need to go through this alone. I guarantee you are afraid to tell as he has conditioned you to feel like this is your fault and its not. Youyr baby will either come out a different colour or not, either way there is nothing you can do, and no amount of date counting will give you less stress, what will is telling your mum!

I agree that he should have nothing to do with my child. I don't think the police can do anything, they have no evidence and it would be my word against his. Also, we don't even live in the same state as I moved back home. Also, if it turns out to be the other guy's baby, I do not want him involved at all either, as he was part of this manipulation too and is just like my ex. I don't want to face either of them again.

 

[Jessicahide]

https://patient.info/health/domestic-violence-leaflet

 

[LennaG]

Its hard and hormones just add to making us overthink which makes it harder but try on focus on baby being yours! I recently broke up with my bubs dad and thats a full head melt on its own but i decided im going to find a way to just be happy and focus on my little family!

Ill be honest, i didnt want to get pregnant and i cried for over an hour until my neighbour found me in garden and talked some sense into me, but ive gone from that to building a cot in my room a couple of days ago and buying a few baby things and the more i focus on baby the happier i am, yes there are a few moments where i have a mini melt down to myself but thats ok!

You have to focus on the future, dont let your ex and his mate ruin it, tell your family he was abusive, imagine if your neice or sister or other female came to you and told you the story of what happened that night happened to them, you wouldnt judge them, you would judge him! alot!

You will be ok, from here on out just make it about you and your child, it will get easier x

I have been trying, but I really hope and pray that this child is my ex's as it would make things so much easier and not having to explain and tell about what happened that night. Either way, I don't want either men involved as they are both jerks and I honestly cannot face them again. Yes, I know kids should have a mom and a dad, but I have brothers who will be a better father figure to my baby girl then they ever will.

 

[Jessicahide]

Dont worry about being judged, everyone has those moments in life where they do something that others wouldnt approve of, everyone, no one has the right to judge you! I myself have been in the whoops, whos the daddy saga, i miscarried at 9 weeks though at that point i didnt care who the daddy was, i was the mommy and it was my baby anywho...

If the truth about the one night stand comes out hold your head high, your ex should be embarrased, he should never have put that on you! It sounds like he is emotionally abusive and a total jerk!

As for the test in the clinic being very faint, those tests are full rubbish! my friend was 3-4 weeks pregnant on a clearblue digital and the clinic test said negitive lol all withing 3 hours from clearblue to clinic!

Dating scans at 12 weeks are known for being off for dates, here we dont get actual due date until 20 week scan! they are more to say yep babys there, heartbeat seen, everything looks well, then give you a general age of baby but if its off by 1mm your dates get all off! Early dating scans are known for freaking people out who chart, track and write down when they bed down!

Is it the one night stand? lets do some math!

2nd or 3rd to 7th is four or five days?

* one day for conception ( usually takes a few hours up to 5 days!)
* one day for implantation ( usually takes 6 to 8 days )
* one or two days for positive test (not expected to be positive until 3-4 days after implantation (at the very earliest))

If i where you i would be certain its the ex's =)

Hope you can feel more at ease soon x x

So which scan would be more accurate then?? Also, at my anatomy scan at 21+1, the baby was measuring 3 days behind the Dec 13th dating scan, but they still kept my original due date of Dec 13th.

If i were you, to ease your stress, i would just tell your family the truth, your ex is clearly a horrible abusive nasty person who has manipulated and coerced you into having sex with someone that you didn't want to. His abuse is now still ongoing as you are internalising and abusing yourself to the point that you can't enjoy YOUR baby.

I don't think your family will be surprised that this abusive man has done this to you, however your baby comes out, they are yours!!!!

I've come close to telling my mom a few times, but I just can't. I know she won't judge me as she has been supportive all through this, but I really just can't do it. If I tell her, she will tell my family and all our relatives, explaining to them because I honestly can't! Telling her would be hard enough. And then I'd have to explain to all my friends, and Im really not ready to go through all that.

Write her a letter, if i am honest i believe this man should be having nothing to do with your child if he is the father so i would approach the police and explain what has happened, he is an abuser, you don't have to tell anyone anything ( friends) they can do one, but i would tell your family, you don't need to go through this alone. I guarantee you are afraid to tell as he has conditioned you to feel like this is your fault and its not. Youyr baby will either come out a different colour or not, either way there is nothing you can do, and no amount of date counting will give you less stress, what will is telling your mum!

I agree that he should have nothing to do with my child. I don't think the police can do anything, they have no evidence and it would be my word against his. Also, we don't even live in the same state as I moved back home. Also, if it turns out to be the other guy's baby, I do not want him involved at all either, as he was part of this manipulation too and is just like my ex. I don't want to face either of them again.

They can, you can get an order to stop him contacting you or being near you ( here in the uk its called a nonmolestation order) and also if anything happens you have spoken and reported to the police so there is a history documented. This will help your case to never have to see either of them again.

 

[SleepyBaby]

Its hard now but it will get easier, there is so much good coming your way, dont let the evils of two erm, we will call them men due to being on a public baby forum, ruin things for you!

Hold your head high! you have got to this point, you have managed to break away from them, moved far away and your still going! that alone shows your strong! you can do it!

*kids should have two parents you are right, but if one of those parents is abusive and it sounds like he would do more harm than good then no, one parent is better!

 

[LennaG]

I really do not want to tell anyone. I just want it to be my ex's and just move past all this but I can't. Im only 19, I shouldn't have all this on me Being a single mother will be hard enough. I am so embarrassed to tell anyone and I really don't think I can.

 

[LennaG]

PLEASE PLEASE just let it be my ex's..please god

 

[SleepyBaby]

Age is but a number, i had my son when i was 19 and hes 10 now ( dam im getting old!) but everywhere we go hes praised by strangers for his politeness and charm hoping that stays into his teenage years but we will see! Being 19 means you will have the energy to run about after your baby girl ( Congrats on finding out gender btw, any names yet? )

I broke up with his dad when he was 1 1/2 and it wasnt harder being a single parent it was easier, his dad tried to control me, would not allow me to see friends and all that jazz, when i kicked him out i was free to just be me, free to raise my son without worring about upsetting him!

Going by dates its your ex's though!

 

[Jessicahide]

I really do not want to tell anyone. I just want it to be my ex's and just move past all this but I can't. Im only 19, I shouldn't have all this on me Being a single mother will be hard enough. I am so embarrassed to tell anyone and I really don't think I can.

It won't be as hard as living with him. You don't know how strong you are!