need some advice about my pregnant girlfriend and her emotions =(

[needadvice87]

i have indeed tryed on may occations to talk to her about things but that really dosent get me anywhere i just end up getting snapped at =/ im just going to try and give her more space its just hard when i love being around her i dont even mind being her emotional punch bag. what i dont understand is we have been together for just about a year and she wanted to have a baby with me why would she do that if she dident love me, do you think it is just possible that she just wanted a baby? and now she has one im no longer needed =(

You need to stop thinking stuff like that - she's just not herself right now so don't judge her on it. Pregnancy puts great emotional strain and physical strain on a woman at a time they need a strong committed partner, not one who feels like that about her. I know you love her and mean well, but what an insult If she knew you believed that, i can bet my life on it she would be very very upset and you'd make her even more distant. Please, put thought like that WELL out of they way, it'll eat into you relationship like cancer.

i dident mean it in a bad way, i must say at this point im not the greatest at explaining myself and feelings. i know its kind of a stupid thought and its not at the front of my mind but it is just a worry, if that makes sense

 

[needadvice87]

i really do thank you all so much, this has really helped me understand what could be going on as so many of your own situations are so similer to whats happening to me and my girlfriend are going through and it really dose just give me hope that things will get better

 

[needadvice87]

one more quick question, can anyone suggest anything that i could do that might cheer her up?

 

[3boys]

on my third pregnancy i was a nightmare to live with, i was so full of anger for the full 9 months and always took it out on my husband which was unacceptable, i remember sitting on my bed in the hospital after Caleb was born and feeling a sense of calmness which was alien to me over the previous 9 months, in fact when i found out i was pregnant with my daughter i was terrified it would happen again and i wouldnt be in control of my emotions but thankfully it didnt happen, Im sure she does love you it could just take a while for everything to settle down, i hope shes not as unlucky as me and have to wait for your baby to be born! x x

 

[allaboard]

You can say a lot without saying anything. You don't need to constantly ask or get reassurance as it's quite confrontational really, much as you feel you need to, it's counter productive. Just SHOW her every so often when she least expects it - do nice things for her (however little it might seem to you) and make her feel special, not like she's a trouble, a drain on you or an emotional freak. Don't expect much, just take it easy and relax. She'll come back to you slowly with a few ups and downs on the way. You're still getting to know each other too, and this is the first major event (because pregnancy and having a baby is one of the most stressful life events a couple can go through actually!). Just be kind, consistent in your commitment to her and be patient with her. You need to give her space, it's one of he most important things you can you do, it really is. Respect what she's saying to you, if she needs you to back off, you really must see that she means that and not take the hump. Come down from 4th to 2nd gear, and relax otherwise you're never going to even be able to communicate. The most rewarding things in life are often the most challenging things to achieve...

 

[faun]

Sounds like typical pregnancy hormones i love my hubby dearly but i couldn't stand him for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy he just wound me up by existing! I'm sure things will improve by the time she hits second tri. As for cheering her up how about having some flowers sent to her "to the best woman in the world love you etc" put the boys names on the card as well so its from all of you.

 

[v31984]

i swear your my other half lol.. im sure she doesnt mean to make you feel like that and im sure she appreciates everything you do for her.. all will come good in the end just stay positive and try to make her smile cos theres nothing worse than feeling down byourself and seeing a face like a slapped ass staring back at you lol

 

[allaboard]

one more quick question, can anyone suggest anything that i could do that might cheer her up?

Something you know she likes, but don't ask her - give it some thought yourself it means much more when it's personal and you thought of it on your own. Otherwise it's a cop out! Don't just do one thing, make a concerted effort to be a support from now on with the kids and the house and life generally, and use your initiative. You know what she likes, give her surprises too maybe, or little treats every now and again, but like i say, don't overwhelm her. Be a friend and build on that with no expectations.

 

[KatieMRi]

I had to come in and check it wasn't my OH lol, for me he smells funny and I am so uncomfortable that when he wants to give me attention I just don't want it, I love him with all my heart and soul but right now I need him to let me do whatever I feel and be understanding because I don't feel like me and I'm very tetchy

 

[kimbotrav]

hi i think its hormones my husband bugs the hell out of me at the moment lol poor man but seriously it doesnt last forever lol id say last time i was pregnant i got a little better around 12/13 weeks just give her her space and shell soon come running bk i hope it gets better soon take care

 

[KatieMRi]

For me if OH wants to cheer me up, he could be understanding, leave me be when I ask without thinking I'm mad at him and not expect me to do things around the house - just whilst I got through the worst of the 1st 12 weeks

 

[pupsicle]

hi im just wondering is it normal for a pregnant woman to loose all feelings for her partner while pregnant? i just dont know what to do to make things better, i would do anything for her she really is the love of my life but since being pregnant she dosent seem to want me around at all. all physical contact is non exsistant and all she keeps saying is she needs space, keeps snaping at me for stupid reasons and just seems to be irritated by me this has all been going on since a week before we found out she was going to have a baby, she is 7 weeks gone. it makes me so sad to think that maybe she dosent love me anymore and im really scared about what is going to happen. i do try to give her alot of space but i want to enjoy the pregnancy with her and not be shoved aside i just want to be fully apart of what is happening and be there for her anyway i can. i know its not all her fault i can be a little clingy at times but i love her and dont know what to do for the best and need to know if this could be to do with her hormones or if it is she just dosent love me anymore =( if anyone could give me some advice i would be so greatfull. thank you

I went through the same thing at the start of the pregnancy, I just needed some space to get my head around the fact there was a little person growing inside me. Plus the morning sickness, sore boobies, and general tiredness, I just wanted to be left alone. But don't worry after a couple of weeks I couldn't get enough of him and went all soppy (still am now!)

 

[dan-o]

I've noticed my OH just keeps a low profile when I'm in an irritable mood, lol! Good job really! Bless!

 

[allaboard]

I've noticed my OH just keeps a low profile when I'm in an irritable mood, lol! Good job really! Bless!

Mine too...he goes all quiet, looks away and rolls his eyes sometimes. I've caught him doing that before and that's made me worse! He knows now there's no point tackling me now...he just retreats to feel sorry for himself, and then 5 minutes later I'll bring up something random again to break the atmosphere up a bit and he's almost sighing with relief that the evil side has gone and exasperated at the up and down moods, poor thing!

 

[allaboard]

For me if OH wants to cheer me up, he could be understanding, leave me be when I ask without thinking I'm mad at him and not expect me to do things around the house - just whilst I got through the worst of the 1st 12 weeks

Definitely, when mine gives me space without bagdering me or keeping it going, i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaalllly appreciate that he's respecting my wishes.

 

[LittleBoo]

I'm currently going between gushing love for my partner and throwing a bowl of cheerios at him for not turning round while I said something... us ladies go crazy, especially in the first trimester. Smells, painful breasts, nausea, headaches, not a good combination, add in the mood swings... just try and cope best you can mate

 

[LadyHutch]

My very first post on here was me asking if it was normal to hit my husband with a laundry basket....

I am gonna give you some honesty. Yes, some of it is hormones. But also, you need to know when that pee'd on stick turned two lines, your relationship took a drastic change. Things are going to be different from here on out. I doubt she will hate you and be so distant forever, but your relationship isn't going to go back to the good ship lollypop. Kids change everything.

I had a huge myriad of thoughts this past month...some good, some bad, about my husband, my relationship, my life. Its a huge amount of pressure. I didn't even know for certain a year ago if I wanted to have more children. I am 35 and my son is grown. I already raised a child from newborn to adult. I was all done, mine was out of the house. Then I fell in love and well, we decided to give it a shot together. We got pregnant and here i am. There are still days I wonder what the hell I was thinking..I wonder if our relationship will stay strong or fall apart. I wonder if I made a mistake. On the bad days, I don't want the inseminator anywhere near me.

In spite of that, I am also preparing to make room in my life and my heart for a new baby. I am trying to figure out how to strike a balance between mom retirement and new mom world. I'm afraid of the mistakes I made with my son and worried about my DH's kids. Outside all those worries, my every day worries are also around, nagging at me...my dad dying, work getting ready to gear up, needing to move and find a new house, and all of this while feeling like I have the worlds longest and worst hangover.

So there are a lot of times I want nothing to do with DH. I love him. I adore him. But right now, my life is very personal. And I am questioning everything. And I am not so naive as to believe this is going to get easier when I stop puking. A baby changes everything.

Go home and give the house a good scrub. Clean it like you are a maid. She'll appreciate that. Make dinner a few nights a week more. Cooking is one of the times I really want to punch him because I feel sick when I cook. Let her know you are there, but don't force things. She needs time to think and adjust.

Things will probably get better. But they are never going to be like they were. Take some time to adjust yourself. Your job isn't to handle her emotions, it is to handle your own.

 

[siord76]

Hi to all who have posted on this topic. You guys have put my mind at ease a great deal. I am a father to be for the first time and like the original poster my girlfriend has two children from a previous relationship.

Unlike the first poster, I have made a lot of mistakes as I am reading through these posts. I have been constantly texting and asking for re-assurance as I had no idea what to think. My girlfriend is around 12 weeks, she has asked me not to attend the first midwife appt, and I hit the roof. I want to be part of the whole thing. I did not realise how bad hings were for mothers to be., naive is an understatement!!

I am hugely regrettful for my actions, but on the whole I try to help out with everything. I am looking at mortgages, viewing houses, cleaning and ironing. Giving my girl massages and re-assuring her the whole time.

I love her more than I ever thought possible, and reading through this forum, you may have all assisted in saving my sanity and more importantly helping me to safeguard our relationship.

 

[teilliasmith]

i think its mostly hormones i dont think she will stay this way no but it may take a while just be there when she needs you be ready when she comes around and it will all work out in the end and always remember she loved you so much she is haveing a baby with you and nothing will change that

 

[wowohboy]

hi im just wondering is it normal for a pregnant woman to loose all feelings for her partner while pregnant? i just dont know what to do to make things better, i would do anything for her she really is the love of my life but since being pregnant she dosent seem to want me around at all. all physical contact is non exsistant and all she keeps saying is she needs space, keeps snaping at me for stupid reasons and just seems to be irritated by me this has all been going on since a week before we found out she was going to have a baby, she is 7 weeks gone. it makes me so sad to think that maybe she dosent love me anymore and im really scared about what is going to happen. i do try to give her alot of space but i want to enjoy the pregnancy with her and not be shoved aside i just want to be fully apart of what is happening and be there for her anyway i can. i know its not all her fault i can be a little clingy at times but i love her and dont know what to do for the best and need to know if this could be to do with her hormones or if it is she just dosent love me anymore =( if anyone could give me some advice i would be so greatfull. thank you

just wondering how things turned out? has it gotten better for you two? same situation here and I never see any follow up on what happens at the end of the pregnancy!!!!!