need some advice about my pregnant girlfriend and her emotions =(

[Amyyyxx]

kieron is tht u lol? seriously you sound like my boyfriend but i dnt have any other children lol!
i love my boyfriend soo much but he is really doing my head in at the moment!! i find myself taking everything the wrong way!!
its just her H's hun.
hopefully mine and hers will get back to normal as soon as poss lol.
ive been staying at my mums for the last 3 weeks coz i cant be in the same room as him for longer than 30mins with out bickering!! lol

oh the joys of being pregnant!!!
xx

 

[mommybear1977]

I hope things get better, I am sure she loves you but she probably feels horrible right now and doesn't know how to deal with it. This is my second and I can tell you if I do not get to eat or sleep when I want I can turn into a real bear. I am sure my hubby is feeling neglected, I don't mean to but I am so worn down right now. I hope he knows that I don't mean it and that I love him to death but I am a mess.

 

[sug]

I'm going to go and hug my husband now!

 

[cassarita]

I'm going to go and hug my husband now!

As soon as I get home from work and tell him how much I appreciate him!

 

[cmarie33]

Just read this thread and had to chuckle at some of the things I've said/done to OH lately. It's hormones. I tend to realise when I start cracking up now and manage to turn it into a joke sometimes. However on other occasions, like when he made a comment (nothing nasty or a put down) about me parking the car, I screamed at him and stormed out of the car! Neighbours must have had a right laugh!
I wonder how the op has got on?

 

[Twister]

This sounds exactly like me atm, my oh annoys the hell out of me and I take everything he says as some sort of personal attack even if it's obvious he's joking, I'm just not in the mood for it lol. It's definitely the hormones so don't worry, she loves you but pregnancy hormones are hard to deal with especially in the first trimester.

 

[Sunshine12]

Im not sure how many weeks she is but I told my OH I didnt love him any more and that I didnt want anything to do with him when I was (I think) about 9 weeks or so). Hormones were unbelievable and I felt absolutely horrible. Couldnt stop crying and didnt want him anywhere near me. Of course, I still loved him but I couldnt handle the hormones. I was such a bitch to him for absolutely no reason. Feel bad now but at the time I didnt care. All I knew was my whole world felt like it had been turned upside down as he was in the middle of it. Just give her space. She will likely get back to normal soon. xxx

 

[lyricsop03]

If it helps, yes, I"m hormonal and still love my boyfriend. He's so sweet and kind that even when I'm cranky I tell myself how wonderful he is. Just be there for her and the hormonal phase will pass. I'm sure she still loves you.

 

[Father2b]

Hi guys, im looking for a little reassurance here, as there is none at home

Nearly 4 weeks ago my (now 10 week) pregnant gf and I had a row. It is our first child and I simply didnt understand what she was going through and was quite selfish. We argued about the lack of affection, and in the end she asked me to leave and stay with my folks for a bit.

As soon as I left I started reading up on this and so found out what an *rse I was being, and tried to put things right, A week passed with no contact. She said she needed space and couldnt bear being around me right now.

*Week apart 2*We then had a DR appointment and whilst civil, she was fairly cold with me and said she would be in touch.

*Week apart 3 She was diagnosed with HG and was hospitalized for 24 hours. I was phoned, so I made sure I was there the whole time which she seemed to appreciate and made a few references to me being "at home" with her. When I said I wanted to come home she said she wasnt ready and it was too soon.

We then had an urgent scan, and it was lovely, we had nice talks and she referred to the future, including me.

A couple of texts (small talk) over the next couple of days and thats it.

Now I dont know what to do for the best. It was only Tues she texted me, but I am terrified of losing her.

We havent been together long, but I have never loved anyone like I love her and when we were living together I just adored looking after her, cooking, silly little gifts etc. We were madly in love and the pregnancy was a happy accident. We discussed marriage and she said she couldnt wait to be my wife.

Im so scared of losing all that, and I just want to be at home looking after her the way I feel I should. Is it really true that at around 12 weeks the hormones will start to calm? I feel this is my only hope.

Thanks for reading and help if you can

 

[Lulu1982]

Maybe you could write her a letter explaining how you feel. It's hard to advise except from a personal point of view because personally I'm really easily irritated even when not pregnant!

I'd appreciate a letter about his feelings and how he wanted to be there to look after his family etc but the last thing a pregnant lady needs is someone else to feel responsible for so I would nt be all 'woe me' for fear of exasperating her further.

I,hope you get things sorted, it's difficult looking in from out outsiders point of view as we don't know anything about your personalities or your relationship.

Good luck!

 

[Father2b]

Yeah, I thought that too, but after the first week of no contcat, I sent her an email pouring my heart out, and telling her how I feel etc, so I dont want to go "overkill" with that.

I guess I am just looking for reassurance that once we hit the second trimester, things will improve!

I am a worrier by nature, she is more laid back with a "whatever will be, will be" approach, yet together, it just works. We fit perfectly and knew very quickly that we were in love and wanted to spend forever together.

Thanks for your input.

I think I will keep respecting her wish for space right now, I just wish she knew how much it hurts

 

[ToBeFather]

So my girlfriends pregnant, and it came as a bit of a shock to the both of us to say the least. But she made me promise to be there for her and the child for the rest of my life, and i swore i would. I love her, and i know that she at least used to love me too. I know shes going through a lot, mood swings, sickness, nausea, the lot. I feel horrible for her, I want to help in any way I can.

The thing is, i told my parents and family first, because I knew they'd want to know straight away and they would handle it better. And they did, they're behind us all the way, they're a little excited even. And up until she told her parents at about week 7 everything was fine, we we're happy, talking about names, picking godparents, what religion the kid would follow, the whole lot in detail. And as much as thats all fun, I knew the happiness wouldnt last and the shock, paranoia etc. would set in on her :/.

But this I really wasnt prepared for.
Her mother kinda hates me, she always seemed to have something against me. To be honest shes a little strange in the head. She was raised strangely and raised her daughter (Girlfriend) and bit weirdly too. And my girlfriend had been telling me that she needed me to be able to handle her mother, and i said I would be able to. But after she told her parents, and was given a not so pleasant reaction, she just cut me off all together. She would tell me she needed space, but it would only be from me. She wouldnt want to talk to me at all, turn her phone off to avoid me texting ( I didn't exactly bombard her with messages or anything). And she refuses to say anything when i do get a hold of her except "I just need time and space". She talks to everyone else, on facebook and everything, just not me.

I'll admit, I did try to talk to her about 9 or 10 times through text messages, telling her i loved her, that i'd always be here and i want to help her etc etc. The lot. But she ignores me. She'll hang out with her friends (our friends) but doesnt want me around anymore. I don't get it, i need that woman I really do. I can't handle this not knowing, and seeing that she just doesnt want me near her. Maybe i'm just being ridiculous but i need some advice :/

Sorry guys, new to this site and didn't realize until now that i'm apparently replying to something or someone..

 

[Luvspnk31]

Trust me, it's the hormones!!!! I'm pretty sure my hubby wouldn't mind moving out for the next 35weeks, lol. Believe me, we don't like ourselves a whole lot right now. This is our 5th, so DH has (mostly) learned not to take anything too seriously right now! Try not to stress too much.

 

[bther]

Definitely hormones. I feel like having time and space away from my OH. During early pregnancy it feels like no one really understands what you're going through except family - well, for me anyway! It'll be okay once she's out of hormonal-ville. Just let her know you're there if you need her but give her the space she needs. Text her once a day so she knows you're thinking of her and leave her to do the rest. She'll come back.

 

[pollydolly]

definitely hormones!!!!

i absolutely hated my partner up until about 20weeks.
we had constant,horrendous arguments and i honestly thought we were breaking up and that would be the end of it.
fast forward to 30 weeks, we're happier than ever, because he understands now how hard pregnancy is, he allows the space i need and understands how much i cannot stand affectionate at the minute! ive never been cuddley but since being pregnant i cannot stand hugs/affectionate which sounds horrible but unfortunately is true.

Im sure itll all blow over hun and youll be back to normal, if it were me id want you to keep trying to contact me but not constant obviously. Give her the space and time she needs, just make sure she knows youre there when she needs, for appointments and scans etc etc.
Could you text and ask if she maybe wanted to go baby shopping or something? maybe that would make her respond? then she will know youre serious?

hope it all works out hun. xxx

 

[CanadianinTx]

My history short, she was getting a divorce, we met and things went fast, after planning to move together and do things for the future, we got pregnant and now she does not know, if she clinged so much on me because her previous relationship or really want to be with me, all these happened after the 4 week.
I went to see her and thank her family for support and she went bananas, I really do not know what to do.
I love her to death, we used to drive 5 hrs every weekend to see each other and she told me that maybe it was because loneliness, her son tell me I love you and I am just not ok.
Any help?

 

[sannod]

Patience, listening and empathy go a long way. My husband and I pretty much separate every time I'm pregnant because my pregnancies are very rough and he offers zero help or sympathy. He's west African and still believes in the whole women keep it to themselves and don't complain and keep up their chores teaching. It's tough but in the end it all works out.

 

[mgolwit21]

My girlfriend is 26 weeks and I am going through the same thing as you my friend. She says that she loves me but not in the same way. She only sees me as a friend. She doesn't want me touching her, kissing her, saying I love you to her anymore. Basically she wants nothing to do with the relationship at all. She wants to act as if we aren't even in a relationship and it is really tough for me also. I try and do what she wants, but I feel so terrible, and worry all the time that maybe she really doesn't love me anymore.

She has twins from another guy who wanted nothing to do with the girls, and I have been raising them since they were 10 months old. They just turned 3. I keep trying to stay positive and tell myself it's the hormones, but much like you it's tough to understand.

I ask her all the time what changed or what happened, and she just replies that she doesn't know why she stopped having the same feelings she used to. She tells me that she just wants space, and to not think about any of it right now. She says she still loves me, and wants things back to the way they were, and that she just doesn't love me in the same way.

I'm jujst trying to be positive and try to get through it as best I can. I love her so much and she is my entire world. I'm hoping it is just hormones, but I wont know till our daughter is here in a few months. Best of luck my friend. Hope both of us get what we want.

 

[londonangel]

I would suggest backing off a bit. There's nothing more irritating to a pregnant woman full or hormones than someone trying to force her to be more .... well more anything! More intimate, more loving, etc. etc. I'm sure she loves you but I think you just need to give her space, like she says. The difficult thing for you is that you're not in her body so you can't feel what she feels. Things tend to calm down once the placenta takes over ;-)

 

[carlyjade86]

I hated my other half when I was pregnant.... I even hated his mother (who is the nicest lady ever!!) because I blamed her for everything he was! I think it's a combination of fear on both sides, coupled with hormones. Just try to be patient and understanding. I know with my other half I tried to push him away as I felt it would be easier than have him walk away - he never gave me an inkling he would be walking anywhere! Pregnancy makes us a little loopy. Just be there for her and she'll soon see the light.