need to get this off my chest...no replies necessary

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by ilovemy, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. ilovemy

    ilovemy New Member

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    This is my first post, and it's not pregnancy related but, aaaaaaaaaahhhh, i need to get this off my chest and hopefully i'll feel better.

    My and OH have had the most fantastic whirlwind romance. we were engaged within 2 months, prgnant in 6 (planned) and things with us are generally fantastic. In April i was laid off from my job (made redundant) and because we had just found out I was preggi decided I would be self employed instead of having to lie in interviews. things havent been easy but we have been managing to get by until now. We are about £2000 short for December already, and have absolutley no pennies in the bank (can't even get the bus, buy food or buy anything for baby :O( ) we have both taken as much as we can from our families and havve even dabbled in pay day loans and that kind of thing.

    So, the situation is I am 32 weeks pregnant, working full time hours monday to friday at home, and am trying to get sme evening and weekend work. My OH is also trying to get work (he is in his 3rd year of uni fulltime) and to work means he would not be able to go to uni aymore which sucks, but needs must i guess.

    So, i worry about how i'm going to cope working 60 plus hours a week been sooooo pregnant, and to top it all off, i feel sooo guilty that i can;t buy my baby what I need for her.

    Oh my god, what a winge I am, wo sorry ladies. this is probably like such a small thing in comparison to having a healthy baby but still, it's stressing me out, tearing me apart inside and making me feel like a failure
     
  2. sofiasmommy

    sofiasmommy Well-Known Member

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    I dont really know what to say, I just wanted to offer my sympathy really. There are so many ways to save on money though! Breastfeed, dont bottle feed. Use reusable nappies (they are costly at first but so much cheaper in the long run) get stuff from charity shops. buy only necessary stuff (i can tell you that with my first i bought SO much rubbish! lol) and get friends to give you a baby shower! what country do you live in? look into benefits! best of uck :) xx
     
  3. mildred81

    mildred81 Well-Known Member

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    Ahhh hun, I don't have any good advice, can you move somewhere cheaper? Live with parents for a little while until you have yourselves straightened out financially?

    I hope you manage to sort everything out, stress is not what you need when you are heavily pregnant.

    xx
     
  4. Sherileigh

    Sherileigh Well-Known Member

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    How are you 2000 pounds short? That's a lot Hun. Isn't there anything you can cut down on? Cheaper place to live, no cable, no mobile etc....
    Good luck.
     
  5. crazylilth1ng

    crazylilth1ng Well-Known Member

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    I don't have advice either but wanted to offer sympathy. You are going to reach a point where you simply have to stop working for a while soon too, when the baby comes.

    Why does working mean your OH will have to stop uni? Is he doing a more vocational type degree (eg like the midwifery or nursing) where there are more hours as a lot is based round "doing the job"? If not, maybe he can find some part time seasonal work just over christmas in retail or something? That would help out a little bit as it would be an awful shame for him to have to quit in the final year.

    I feel bad for you, how AWFUL that those gits made you redundant when you both relied so heavily on your job :(
     
  6. Sunshine12

    Sunshine12 New Mummy

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    Have you been in touch with the benefits agency? Your OH should be able to claim job seekers (contact JSA) and potentially have your rent paid etc until he finds something (depending of course on how much you are earning.) If he hasnt paid national insurance for certain years it may have to be income based but you should definately check it out. Truth be told you would be better not working and you will get everything paid for you (albeit that is a flaw in our benefit system and Im not suggesting Its the route to go down)x
     
  7. ilovemy

    ilovemy New Member

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    we have looked into living somewhere cheaper, but as we own the house, we would have to rent it out and rent elsewhere. having looked into this a lot it would mean we're about fifty quid better off a month which whilst it is a saving, i guess we need more...we have talked about moving in with my partens but they're over 100 miles away and i need to be near where my business customers are...plus finding someone to rent our house...
    we have one mobile between us, which i use for my little business, we dont use the car until the weekend when we need to pick OH's son up (he lives in the middle of nowhere and public transport would cost more than petrol)...
    mealtimes are generally whatever we have in the cupboard, pasta, rice, beans that sort of thing,
    I have bought no maternity clothes, just make do with what I have. we have just cancelled sky tv (saving around £17 per month). the main bulk of the mney goes on my OH's debts which he had before we met.

    definitly going to breastfeed as long as I am able too, and yeah great idea on reuseable nappies, thank you for that. also, i have some jewellery that is worth a bit of money so i am going to sell it, means not having an engagement ring, or the jewellery i got off my parents for my 18th, but i will at least be able to buy my baby what she needs.
    thanks again, i'm sorry for sounding so negative, just having one of those days
     
  8. booboomagoo

    booboomagoo Well-Known Member

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    Could you rent a room in the house? It won't pay everything, but it could relieve some of the burden.
     
  9. ilovemy

    ilovemy New Member

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    thanks crazylilthng ans sunshine...

    if my OH quits uni to work and claim job seekers it seems to say that we woould have to wait 6 weeks before he could claim anything....may be reading it wrong so will book an appointment at my local centre to find out what's what...his degree is study based, he is out most days between 8am and 4pm, and has his son friday to sunday...obviously prioritising his son and seeing him would mean monday - friday work hence no uni :( he has applied for some shift type work where i could be in on a night with his son on a weekend and he could work, fingers crossed :)

    i guess been made redundant at what turned out to be 5 weeks pregnant was the worst timing, and unfortunately I had only been there for 10 months so no redundancy payment booooo to them!

    it's amazing to me that we could be better off not working, but from what i read, because we have a mortgage there is a lot less helo available than if we were renting ... have put a claim in for materity allowance which is about 120 quid a week as im self employed ....

    must think positive, must think positive...lottery ticket perhaps lol xx
     
  10. Sunshine12

    Sunshine12 New Mummy

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    You should definately go and see them. I lost my job a while back and started claiming job seekers. I got a standard amount for the first 6 months (think it was about £140 a fortnight) however following that I was put on income based. They paid more than my mortgage payments were (interest only of course) as they pay a standard rate because everyone is on a different variable. I got paid 2 weeks after I signed on. I didnt have to wait 6 weeks (maybe its changed now Im not sure.) You should also check out the grants you can get for fruit and veg and milk. If you are pregnant and on low income you can get money so that you can make sure you are eating properly. There are also schemes to get reduced electricity and gas payments as well. Maybe you should contact citizens advice and see if there is something that can spend some time with you to go through it all. Feel terrible for you. :( xx
     
  11. Koolmami

    Koolmami Guest

    Try selling things you don't use or need on E-bay or Gumtree if you are in the UK. People are buying lots of second hand stuff in this economic crisis. Also, if you are in the UK, try signing up to cashback websites, mystery shopping or consumer polls. They all paid good money. Also, switching utility bill suppliers can save you money. Good luck and hope everything works out well.
     

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