negative response to pregnancy?

[buttonnose82]

for those that are WTT for their first baby:

* are you expecting a negative response from anyone when you announce your pregnancy?
*how will you cope with this?

for those that are WTT for their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th etc baby's:

*did you experience any negative responses to your pregnancy?
*how did you cope?
*did things change with time/after baby was born?

 

[Pops]

Nope none. The only thing I am expecting is for a couple of people to ask if we will get married before baby comes along and truth be told, we might, we don't know.

The sole reasons we aren't already is money - and before anyone says just go down to the Registry Office and pull in two Witnesses, we don't want to do that - we want our parents and siblings and best friends to be there! We don't want a wedding, we want a marriage but we want those people to be part of it - and OH's illness has taken up the entire past year so we would have been now if things had been different.

So no, we know everyone will be over the moon. We are adults, we own our own home, we have lived together for a long time, everyone talks about when we have babies so it won't come as any real surprise to them!

xxx

 

[bigbloomerz]

Not expecting a negative reponse from anyone, and if they do have then they arent worth knowing! lol xx

 

[Tudor Rose]

with my 1st no negative response, with my 2nd i found out when DD was 9 months i got negative response from MIL about how i.l manage.

now if i make any remarks about if we had anymore.....she snaps you have one of each you dont need any more blah blah blah. my parents would love me have another were as MIL will go bolistic!!!

 

[Kess]

My biological father may well be negative, but I don't really care. I've not seen him in around a year because he keeps breaking promises to come see me, and I can't drive so can't get to him. I do speak to him regularly, but he's very good at putting a damper on anything. My Mom and sister will be over the moon, and probably drag me out to start buying baby things, I don't know how my Dad will react (different person from my bio father, just to make it clear). I think he'll be happy as long as we're stable and happy in our relationship first, and preferably married.

ETA: I have no idea how OH's family will take it. No idea at all. Worrying.

 

[calm]

I think my father might be a bit negative. Even though he loves me to bits, as he has seen me suffer with anxiety, and always thought I am to soft for this world, he would like me to have a less complicated life possible. He will just worry I won't cope. But I know that once the little mite is born he will be as pleased as punch. He can't help worrying poor thing, must be where I get it from.
Then I think about my boss. On the one hand, I know she will be happy for me, but of course, I might get sick, doctors appointments, and then all the time off... But I suppose the actual response won't be negative, but I can't help feeling she would rather I didn't have children.

 

[carla15x]

I have no idea how people will react . . . None at all . . . = /
I don't think they will be 'happy' but I don't think they'll scream at me to get an abortion either. It'll be one of them, they come round to the idea and it will be first grandchild for each set of parents = ]

I don't know how I would cope with any negative reactions I think my parents can't really say anything because I'm older than they were and in a better situation i.e. money, living arrangements and education. His parents had almost the same situation as us apart from he is older than they were, infact I might be too x

I think some of my friends will be a bit. . umm dissapointed? But mnay of them will be very excited for me!

xx

 

[buttonnose82]

until recently i thought we wouldn't have any negative responses but now i am not so sure, it is worrying me hugely at the moment to the point it makes me feel sick, i don't want anyone to resent my child

stupid huh i already feel protective over a child that isn't even concieved yet!

 

[kate.m.]

The only thing i can think of is that my sister-in-law has said that whenever we have a baby we'll have to get rid of the pets! We have 1 (big) dog and 2 cats. Personally i think its a load of tosh, i grew up with a cat and dog, and i survived!! If anything, i think it'll do the baby good to grow up around animals!

 

[shambaby]

until recently i thought we wouldn't have any negative responses but now i am not so sure, it is worrying me hugely at the moment to the point it makes me feel sick, i don't want anyone to resent my child

stupid huh i already feel protective over a child that isn't even concieved yet!

It's not stupid at all, it's perfectly natural. I spent hours last night looking at ofsted reports for nearby schools and was really upset when it said that one near us had issues with the safety checks of the staff and decided we will have to move before baby goes to school!! Or perhaps I'm just a bit stupid too!?!
Who do you think might be negative? Perhaps you could try talking to them? If they don't know you're planning to try soon you could always make it a hypothetical 'when we have a family' type of thing. On the other hand it's really no one's business but yours and your OH's, if you feel the time is right then everyone else will just have to get used to it.
Personally, I know my family and all our friends will be really positive, they've been asking for ages when we're going to have a baby, but hubby's parents I'm not too sure about. When we told them we were getting married they asked why we were suddenly rushing into it. We had known each other for 12 years and been living together for 4!!!!

 

[Webbykinskt]

If we follow our plan and try in 2014 then I think i'll get positive responses from my family. If it happens before then, I might get some negative from my dad but i rarely see him so it doesn't matter.

 

[lozzy21]

Hmm my mam says i need to wait4/6 years but she will be thrilled when it dose happen. I can see some problems with MIL just for the fact she wont be centre on attention and some issues on his dad side but not from his dad. Most of his dads side are quite posh and think im not good enough for him because i wouldent think twice about telling some one to piss off if they deserved it.

 

[EstelSeren]

My mum wants to be 50 before we even start ttc so if I get pregnant before then she'll be very upset and my brother has already said he'll kill me if I get pregnant. Empty threat but it hurts all the same and I've already told my mum that I want kids as soon as possible and I'll get preganant when I get pregnant! I don't mind too much as I know my dad'll be happy for me and DF's family will be ecstatic! My friends will also be really happy for us. It does sting a little though that I know my mum won't be happy for us and that I'm dreading to tell the one person who should be there for me no matter what when I'm in a strong, committed relationship, am living with my partner and am getting married next year.

Beca :wave:

 

[lozzy21]

My mum wants to be 50 before we even start ttc so if I get pregnant before then she'll be very upset and my brother has already said he'll kill me if I get pregnant. Empty threat but it hurts all the same and I've already told my mum that I want kids as soon as possible and I'll get preganant when I get pregnant! I don't mind too much as I know my dad'll be happy for me and DF's family will be ecstatic! My friends will also be really happy for us. It does sting a little though that I know my mum won't be happy for us and that I'm dreading to tell the one person who should be there for me no matter what when I'm in a strong, committed relationship, am living with my partner and am getting married next year.

Beca :wave:

My mam said that hun and i told her ill make her a grandma when I want to make her a grandma. Im sure you mam will be like mine and will be extatic when the time comes. They are just being selfish and thinking of themselfs.

 

[jillypoop]

I expect my mum to be really negative, she told me that i'm too selfish to become a mother and that she only really expects grandchildren from my sister. She's 17 and at 6th form but obviously that means she'll be a much better mother than a young woman who is in a serious relationship with a wonderful guy and has a full time job and actually wants a family!!

It doesn't bother me too much though, its me and OH that are going to be parents and everyone else will come around, all that matters to me is that my child is loved by its parents.

xx

 

[kyrabeth]

I think my OH parents will be negative. Waste of your life, too young, haven't done enough etc as they didn't have adam till their 30s. But my parents will be fine as they had me young.

 

[stargirl69]

I don't think anyone would be negative to me. I think people only tend to get negative responses from people with more traditional views. Who think you should be going out with someone a long time, possibly even married, are too young, have an unstable relationship and be able to support your children without expecting handouts etc. from government. If you've done all those things you probably wouldn't get a negative response.

People with more traditonal views need to understand that not everyone shares these views and it is only the people who are having the baby who need to be concerned. They should be pleased that a new life is coming into the world that is wanted by loving parents.

 

[Bubby]

I know everyone will be positive to my face but I worry that people from work etc might think I'm young to be having babies (I'm 25, hubby is 29). I think thats rubbish but I still think thats how they might talk behind my back. The only other women to have had babies recently were in their 30s and that seems to be considered more normal for professional women now.

 

[Sarahkka]

Well, I'm married, financially stable and it will be baby #2. As I tick off all the "socially acceptable" boxes for pregnancy, I'd be very surprised if anyone was negative.
The only one I can see having a moment of chagrin would be my boss. But it wasn't the greatest timing for him on my last pregnancy and he was fine. I think he had a few moments of grumpiness because it's always stressful trying to plan for a mat leave, particularly for a position like mine (a combination of two specialties- sort of an unusual skill set), but we worked on it together and it's all good.

 

[needausername]

I'm sure I will get some negativity but sod them!!! I will finally be getting the family that I want. My parents will probably say all sorts about me but I don't have anything to do with them so leave them off. There will probably be alot of people that will be extremely happy for me because they know it is important to me.