Not being able to post BFP

[DragonMummy]

*sigh* I have been misunderstood... I understand it could be hurtful - I just meant that 'offensive' seems a very strong word. But I do think that people would rather everyone acted normally around them. I was LTTTC with my son so I do understand the position and all I was saying is that I don't think I would be offended by someone posting a BFP in the TTC forum if I was TTC/LTTTC - I would be thrilled for them. Yes I understand that rules are rules and they are there for a reason - I have run a forum myself in the past so I get why they're there. I'm not disputing them. I'm just putting my opinion across which is SURELY the point of a discussion board?

Also, asking us to follow the rules and not question does come across a little bit 1984 to be honest. If we were running riot and flouting the rules and upsetting people left right and centre I could understand the stern tone but for simply asking why something is done (understanding the rules DOES help you follow them!) I don't think there was any need to be so short - it was a perfectly innocent question.



pmsl - bet poor Calm is wishing she'd never asked now!!!

 

[alice&bump]

people have flouted the rules. other people have been upset by this. hence the rules.

 

[booflebump]

I dont think theres ever going to be a conclusion to this issue that will please everyone xxx

 

[DragonMummy]

people have flouted the rules. other people have been upset by this. hence the rules.

Like I said, I understand that. I wasn't disputing the fact there ARE rules, people just wanted to know why it was not permitted - an explaination of exactly why (people being upset etc) is fair enough and everyone is happy. Well, not EVERYONe but you can't please everyone can you?

 

[Winter Belle]

Wow, I can't believe that some of the answers have come back so harshly... over the last week or so I've seen a lot of harsh replies to threads on BnB and I'm starting to wonder if it really is the supportive place I once thought it to be.

I can appreciate where Calm is coming from on this one as certain posts such as pregnancy symptoms do expect an outcome (either pos or neg) at the end. And for research purposes, as much as anything else, it is convenient to have these all neatly tied up in one thread. Also people who leave a long-loved forum to head towards first tri may want to say their goodbyes (but this can be done in a journal as already said).

HOWEVER.. I can also appreciate that some individuals do not want to see BFPs in specific forums.. namely WTT and TTC. So TBH, as BFP announcements are upsetting to some in these forums, I would propose that any and ALL "symptom tracking" or "I think I may be pregnant" threads should actually have a separate home of their own away from WTT and TTC so that people can view the whole thread and outcome as it unfolds without flicking between threads or getting upset.

I am not against seeing BFPs personally but I am aware that others are. But I do find it a little odd that threads can be posted in this section that suspect pregnancy if we cannot know the answer without looking somewhere else??

Big for Calm.

 

[princess_bump]

from my point of you i truly believe bnb has every a section for everything, and as toria pointed out, a lot of time and research has gone into making bnb what it is, and i would also imagine, blood sweat and tears. bfp ann in the wtt and ttc sections can be upsetting for others, i've seen it before, and thus thats why the bfp ann section is so great. i'm sorry others feel like some of the replies are harsh, and of course no one is ever going to agree, but these are tried and tested rules in order to keep a happy forum and also, to spare others heart ache that can come with ttc xx

 

[booflebump]

While I can see some sense in WinterBelles suggestion of having a symptom tracker forum for possible BFPs to be contained neatly, it may be taking censorship too far. Perhaps the harsh tone of the replies is due to the fact that these discussions are reoccuring in forums, when the reason (whether everyone agrees with it or not) is clearly posted and accessible to all members. Obviously it is a topic that has inflamed some opinions but how long can we go around in circles arguing? x

 

[Cinnamon]

Oh dear Calm, this comes to show writting is not the same as saying things in person as people get things wrong. I know exactly where you were coming from, just wanted to know if anyone else felt muddled up as to where to look to find out the end of a "story", and if you were the only one. I know you weren't debating the rule. Don't get upset hun, I know you never meant it in a hard way and defo don't deserve some of the answers. xxxxxxxx

 

[kintenda]

Regroup for a group hug?!?!?!

 

[princess_bump]

Regroup for a group hug?!?!?!

well said kintenda everyones never going to agree so big group

 

[alice&bump]

group

 

[Winter Belle]

Regroup for a group hug?!?!?!

well said kintenda everyones never going to agree so big group

I'm in

It's nice to get along..

xx

 

[Wobbles]

Wow, I can't believe that some of the answers have come back so harshly... over the last week or so I've seen a lot of harsh replies to threads on BnB and I'm starting to wonder if it really is the supportive place I once thought it to be.

Woooooooo harsh!

BabyandBump like every website has its ups and downs mainly when guidelines are quizzed! OPs question was answered however following that I personally did not like the suggestion from one member what basically sounded like 'well if they don't like BFPs they shouldn't be here' thats how it appeared.

..................

None directed at anyone but my thoughts on this thread! You know what the simple ending to this is ...why can't people just respect the way the forum is layout (sections stickys & requests) without making a fuss? Why not if 'just wondering' contact admin or a mod? Surely sense says thats going to get some backs up? It was like asking why then answering that without admin needing to confirm then questioning the answer. Round in circles this thread. Surely sense says thats going to get some backs up.

Gets on my nerves more when its people who have not really explored BabyandBump that create this kind of fuss. You ask any of our active long term members what they think and you'll find we tend to bend over backwards to make everyone feel comfortable always have always will and get plenty of compliments how involved we are as owners - we aren't like others whack a site up hope for best ...why do you think we're so active? Take a look round other forums doubt you could say the same in many ways.

Ending this now and ....locked.

Enough is enough.

.................

Calm don't take this as an attack on you - how the thread is turning afterwards has made me lock this ...not you.

 

[Wobbles]

Oh I replied and locked whist everyone was hugging each other lol

I want to keep this locked but wanted to let you know I don't wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable but I do get offended myself when natural happenings make people put a downer on BabyandBump as whole. Not everyone will always agree and theres always people we get along and relate with more than others which doesn't make us a bad forum we only hope in the mean time people will use the forum to their advantage but realise we have a few guidelines in place for reasons not to be big mean people.

We do our best thats all. BabyandBump is personal to me so we put our hearts in as much as we can. Have you seen how many members we have online? How many posts there are in 24 hours? We naturally miss a lot of things thats why theres a report post button Like I say we do our best but it is hard ...try pleasing all those posters you see online right now at once?

Anyway main purpose was to say sorry if I sounded like I was attacking any of you and hope you understand my replies & reasons for locking up.

Feel free to PM me if you have any concerns about this thread or my replies.

x