Not pregnant but fearing trying to conceive due to gender disapointment...

[Unexpected212]

When I found out my first child was a boy I was really upset. I wanted a girl. I'm great with girls. Never crossed my mind I'd have a boy. Thought I was destined for girls.

Of course when he was born it didn't matter, and it doesn't matter now. I feel I am blessed to have a healthy happy lovely boy and wouldn't swap him for the world.

Yet I'm scared to have another child, and I don't want to admit to anyone how deeply this gets me. I always thought I'd have a girl. I can't imagine going through life NEVER having one.

Chances are my second will be my last child. If it's a boy I think I'll be devastated because I'll never experience a girl. I'd love to have one of each it would be perfect.

I know deep down I should be greatful to even HAVE two children, and to pray for another happy healthy baby, I feel so selfish and stupid for obsessing over this.

I am literally dreading trying to conceive in October because I am TERRIFIED of going for a gender scan and crying on the table. I nearly did the last time. Everyone sensed my dissapointment and were a bit upset with me.

My OH only wants boys, so he is no help, hes always saying he knows he will have two sons and how happy it will make him.

I just feel so pathetic and stupid but I'm terrified of that gender scan ( I will find out because I'm impatient!)

Just words of comfort or wisdom would help. It's making me less excited to TTC.

 

[motherofboys]

I know what you mean I can't imagine never having a girl but will find out in a weeks time if this is boy number 4. It is lovely having more than 1 of the same sex so they have a little play mate but I don't know if the desire you feel for one gender ever goes away with out getting that gender. Good Luck and I hope you get your girl. I remember when I was having a bad day thinking maybe I should just give up TTC it was obviously going to be another boy anyway. But in the end I wanted a baby more than I wanted a girl so went for it.

 

[dollych]

Aww you're not selfish or stupid, I was exactly the same as you.
When I was pregnant with my first, I hoped it was a Girl, but I had a Boy. I didn't have GD with my first because I just thought, 'oh well my second will be a Girl' and I wanted a Boy anyway and was just so happy he was healthy. I had a gender scan at 16 weeks with my second and it was another boy, I was devastated, but all those feelings went away when he was born and I just love him to bits as with my first. I still have this longing for my little Girl though, to the point of obsession!!!.
We are TTC as well in October and I am going to sway Girl so at least if I have another Boy I will have done all I can and I can tell myself I wasn't supposed to have a Girl!!!!.
I really Hope you get you're Girl, I don't know if you're going to try and sway Girl, But it is worth a try, It has worked for a few Girls on here.
Have a look at the genderdreaming site and read up on the foods/ vitimins to take.
Good luck xxx

 

[onetwothreebp]

I know EXACTLY what you mean.

We're currently TTC #2 and I'm already over-thinking the gender. I've never wanted daughters (never really wanted kids either). I was really happy to have my little boy, and I really, really want another little boy. I don't know how to be a mom to a daughter (don't get along with my mom) and even though my husband really wants a girl, I am just scared/anxious about it.

 

[Unexpected212]

Why oh why can't we choose lol!

I suppose for me one of each would be ideal.

The thing that scares me is we might have three. If I have two boys I don't know If I'll have number three because I'm not sure if I could cope with three boys. I think they are amazing obviously but I think i'd be worn out!

 

[Unexpected212]

Also thanks for letting me know I'm not completely alone in this. I like this part of the forum, and thank you for the advice I will look up gender swaying.

 

[motherofboys]

Wouldn't it be fab if we could choose? I can't remember where I saw it, possibly in the "gender specific hopefuls" thread but someone said it would be brilliant if men had girl and a boy button!
I'd never go back an swap any one of my boys for a girl, it would just be nice if I could get one girl in the mix now to complete my family.

 

[Unexpected212]

I know what you mean. I had my gender scan at 16 weeks and I was trying not to cry when they said boy. Deep down I knew. I had a feeling.

I'd picked out like 100 girl names and I couldn't find one boy name I liked. My OH was so happy cos he only wants boys!

I hate it, every time one of my friends or someone I know gets pregnant I hope they have a boy otherwise I get so jealous! I love my niece to bits, but she makes me want a girl even more when I buy her clothes and stuff (my Oh's brothers child)

Obviously I love my son more than anything. As soon as he was born I loved him and I would never want to swap him for a girl. I'm very happy to be a mummy of a boy. I took to it a lot better than I thought and I kind of see a lot of pro's in having a boy.

BUT I really want one of each. I know deep down if I have two boys I will love the other boy to pieces...and I know I'll be lucky to have another baby.

I can't help the selfish feeling because I could have lost my son when he was being born as he had cord compression, and it was round his neck twice. So I'm so lucky he's here.

But it's like an irrational thing. I want a girl. So I have someone to watch girly stuff with and buy girly clothes for.

If i'd had a girl first I honestly wouldn't mind whatever I had next.

I really want thee children though. I guess three boys would be lovely really.

 

[Unexpected212]

Also I really hope you get your little girl!

I hope we all get healthy happy babies of the gender we would like

 

[onetwothreebp]

I think my OH has been able to tell that I don't want a girl because we were lying in bed last night trying to think of names and all I wanted to discuss were boys names!

 

[Unexpected212]

I was exactly the same the other way round. I picked out loads of girl names and I literally couldn't think of one boy name I liked. We went to see 'The woman in black' when I was a few months pregnant and it had daniel radcliffe in and althought I don't like him I thought 'A name I actually like!!'

I have no idea what I'd call my next boy lol!

 

[motherofboys]

We haven't really discussed names yet, mainly because DH only makes stupid joke suggestions for boys and we have our girl name. His reasoning is that we don't need a boy name because we are having a girl. I really wanted to have a name ready before my gender scan next week so that instead of thinking its a boy I could think it my little (insert name here)

 

[Unexpected212]

If I have a girl I want to call her Lara Rose. It drives me crazy to think of never getting to use my name. Or getting to pick out girly clothes. It honestly kills me!

I'm already thinking about boy names. You know when you just have that feeling you KNOW your only destined to have boys or girls? Yeah I'm 99% sure my next one will be a boy it's like a gut feeling. My OH's brother had a girl, I'm one of two girls and my grandmother had a boy then a girl. So i'll keep my fingers crossed and start looking up gender swaying.

I think I might try the diet technique. I heard shettles doesn't work.

I just feel so bad obsessing over it, but never having a girl really will upset me.

Most people I know get the opposite to what they want. My aunt wanted girls and she had 2 boys, then a girl. My other aunt wanted girls, she had 2 boys and a girl. My mum wanted boys she had 2 girls. My friend wanted a girl she had a boy. My friend had a boy she wanted a girl. Nearly everyone I know has the opposite lol!

 

[motherofboys]

I've thought about boys names for years but still not found one and DH wont discuss it seriously so I'm still stuck. I've kind of used all the boys names up now LOL each boy has 2 middle names as well so thats 9 names between them LOL

 

[motherofboys]

We have had our girl name for 8 years now and DH insists on using it talking about the baby. I feel like shouting at him to shut up she doesn't exist and never will. Still we will know which of us is right this time next week LOL

 

[Unexpected212]

Yeah it's like my OH keeps saying he can't wait until we have our next son and he's really smug about 'knowing it's a boy' which annoys me because he knows how much I want a girl. He wants 3 boys!

I have my fingers crossed for you. I'm excited to find out if you are having your girl

 

[Unexpected212]

Yeah that's a point! We used OH's name as our DS's middle name as is tradition but I don't know what middle name we'd use next. We wanted to use my dads or his dads name as middle name but we can't without offending one of them.

 

[motherofboys]

I'm not really that close to my Dad. My eldest has his Dads and Grandads name (DH is named after his Dad, it gets very confusing when someone calls John) My middle son has DH brother and my great Uncles, and my youngest has DH paternal Grandad. If this one is a boy he will have DH maternal Grandad and my Grandads names as middle names, so that part is sorted. Its just the first name.

 

[onetwothreebp]

Yeah that's a point! We used OH's name as our DS's middle name as is tradition but I don't know what middle name we'd use next. We wanted to use my dads or his dads name as middle name but we can't without offending one of them.

yeah we used my husband's name as my son's middle name. for our second boy (hopefully!) i will use my maiden name (allen) as a middle name.

 

[maybebaby3]

GD is horrid coz you really want a specific gender and then feel guilty for even feeling that way I really wanted a girl but its another boy. I'm feeling more positive about it now but I still wish it was a girl. Then I feel awful for wishing he was someone else