Not pregnant but fearing trying to conceive due to gender disapointment...

[Unexpected212]

You guys are really lovely and have helped me feel loads better. I think because I'm so close to my mum, I just assume everyone is like that, but it's not true. Not all mothers and daughters get on great, and my uncle before he passed away was SO close to my nan and visited her all the time so it is down to the person rather than the gender.

I am excited to try and conceive, but I know last time I nearly cried at the scan and seeing girls clothes made me cry. Then I could have lost him in labour and I realised I was being quite selfish, all I cared about was getting my little boy here safe and sound and now I have a boy I would NEVER change it for the world, but I will find it hard to say goodbye to that dream.

 

[Unexpected212]

I don't know. The original plan was 5, then recently DH has been saying 4 is enough and there have been moments during this pregnancy, like with my sickness being worse than all 3 of the others put together, when I have thought "can I do this again".
If I do have another I think it would likely be a boy anyway, I was considering swaying but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to sway, and after how I built myself up for a girl this time then spent a few horrible weeks before getting to this point, I'm not sure it would be wise to build myself up by swaying. So if I did it would have to be because I wanted another baby, and fully expect a boy, and just leave it in the hands of fate and see what I got.
DH said if we did we would have to wait till we moved which atm looks like it wont be for another 5 years so just a matter of seeing how we feel when we get to that point.
Makes me sad to think this is my last though, not because his a boy but because I love the part of pregnancy thats coming and I love having a baby and children.

I found my one pregnancy hard enough, I had low Iron and he was really long so stuck up in my ribs a lot and I had a horrific 38 hour labour as well so I'm scared to have another one because of gender dissapointment and because I'm traumatised from the labour and my DS coming out quite unresponsive.

I would like three but it depends if we could afford that many and also childcare and stuff would be tricky as I work 3 days a week.

 

[motherofboys]

I've been going back and forth in my mind today. I'd love to do it again but don't know how I'd cope and I know I'd get another boy and there would be no chance of one more then. Do I risk gender disappointment again. Still I have years to decide that yet, which makes me think by the time I go to the point we could TTC I would be past the baby bit in my life and not want to go back

 

[Unexpected212]

Yeah I'm starting to think about conceiving that I don't want to TTC October as it feels too planned. I think I just want to see how I feel around that time and go from there. It's a big decision for me because two kids is a lot harder than one in my eyes. I think you are amazing that you will have 4!

That's how we feel about a third. That we'd like 2 fairly close together, but we wouldn't have a third until they were both in school, and that we'll see how we feel nearer the time.

You still feeling ok about having a boy?

 

[motherofboys]

This baby would be starting school by the time I could even think about TTC. If we did have another I'd have to hope the streak of it taking longer each time was broken LOL And looking at say a 5/6 year age gap I'm not sure I'd want to go back to the baby stuff again, and if I did I wouldn't want that baby to be lonely. DS3 already misses his brothers so much when they are at school. So would probably end up wanting another close in age so they could play together the way the others have LOL

Yeah I'm still OK about a boy, although we went food shopping today and looked in the clothes section and they had hardly any nice things for boys. Usually I'm fine picking boys clothes, and I have seen some cute things online but the stuff in the shop today was really quite ugly. I had been hoping to buy just like a little pack of sleep suits or something so I could say I had something for him.

 

[Visje]

Reading this, this is exactly how I dread feeling when we conceive our 2nd child. I'm pregnant right now with our 1st, and while I don't need it to be all girls, I need to have at least 1 girl. I had an awful relationship with my father, and grew up in a very sexist culture and surroundings, so have long felt the need to raise a daughter and send her into the world confident and empowered, not feel like her only purpose is to serve men.

And if this one isn't a girl, there's a good chance that our 2nd child will be our last, we're both in our 30s and finances are an issue, more than 2 child families aren't common in Holland anyway.

It has been a rough day. I asked on here and InGender what gender we're having, though the most recent ultrasound I have is 10 weeks, so all they could go off was skull theory. Still, each and every guess was boy, and without an explanation even though I asked people to say why. That and a very sleepless night last night inspired me to move next week's gender echo to tomorrow. Hopefully I've processed all of the tears and won't cry there. And part of me feels like a selfish b*tch for even feeling like this. But at the same time, it's a projection of people who are judgemental towards gender disappointment, and don't understand that for some people, it goes deeper than not getting to partake in frilly dresses and ballet classes, which I wouldn't force my daughter into anyway.

Sorry for the rant, but I know how you feel. Hopefully all of us will find a way to feel confident about raising the children we end up with.

 

[Unexpected212]

Please come back and let us know what you are having

I dreaded having a boy. Thought I would never be able to be ok with it, as soon as he was born I fell instantly in love and wouldn't swap him for a girl in a million years. I love having a boy.

BUT I want one of each, which puts the pressure on having the next one for it to be a girl as I probably won't have any more after that.

I can't imagine NEVER getting to experience a little girl. It really upsets me to think about.

Ideally now I'd love one of each...obviously If I get pregnant with another boy i'll love him but I'm still scared.

Everytime a friend is pregnant I find myself hoping they are having a boy otherwise I know I'll be SO jealous. The jealousy is horrible.

 

[Visje]

That's what I figure, that you never regret the children you do have, just the ones that you don't.

Good that you're thinking about this before conceiving, and in hindsight I wish that I had. Of course swaying isn't a guarantee, just more that if you do it and end up with an opposite, then it's obviously meant to be.

And so know how you feel. If we do end up able to go for a 3rd child, I would want it to be because we want a 3rd child, not a certain gender.

Good luck, and hope all goes well!

 

[Unexpected212]

Hello!

Did you find out if you were having a girl or a boy?

 

[Visje]

I did. See this thread. It didn't go well: https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/g...-echo-week-does-gender-swaying-even-work.html

 

[Unexpected212]

Ok so we are officially starting to try in November. I am so scared!!!

Been on Gender dreaming a LOT and picked up loads of tips to try and conceive a girl next time

For example

-KY Jelly makes you the correct PH
-Eating little meals, keep blood sugar low, no breakfast
-Eat things like pasta and white food
-Drink raspberry tea
-7-10 day abstain and then have sex on day of positive OPK
-Missionary sex
-Exercise

SO...that's what I'm going to start trying to try and naturally sway a girl. If it's still a boy then I know it was meant to be. If it's a girl...bonus!!

As long as my baby is happy and healthy. I'll be happy. But there is no harm in trying a natural sway...I hope!

Wish me luck ladies.

 

[dollych]

Good luck. Really hope it's a Girl for you xx
We are waiting until December now TTC a Girl. I'll be starting my LE diet in September though. Let us know how you get on xx

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I know how you feel. I really really wanted a little boy last pregnancy and was so over the moon after we found out. I am still so happy and just love everything about having a little boy!

However now I have my little boy I would love a girl next time. Originally I really thought I didn't mind what I had next but now that we've suddenly decided to ttc a lot sooner and the time is approaching (October) I've started to realise I really would like be a mummy to one of each and it's making me a bit less enthusiastic about it. All the men in my OH's family just seem to mainly make boys so I doubt I have any chance of a daughter. Just trying to remind myself of all the positives of boys. xx

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Also I am finding information on swaying very confusing. You read one thing somewhere that claims to increase your chance of a girl then read the very opposite somewhere else! xx

 

[Visje]

Tinkerbelle, I found the same, so much of it is contradictory. I don't think that sexual position makes much of a difference, most of the sex we had, at least while conceiving, was missionary and we're having a boy.

I think though that if you post your swaying plan on Gender Dreaming then others will be happy to review it, haven't tried it though.

Good luck!

 

[Unexpected212]

I'm going to give a go what I've read.

Think I'm going to try the having sex on ovulation day and then abstaining.

Also going to try the diet and using KY Jelly to change PH and drinking raspberry tea.

Other than that I really can't be bothered to do the rest

I know at the end of the day you can't REALLY influence but I'm going to try, if it's still a boy I'll know he was just 'meant to be'

 

[Unexpected212]

I am getting really excited to think of TTC which is good.

 

[motherofboys]

From what I can see the Gender Dreaming site is the most reliable source. I wish you all the best of luck

 

[Unexpected212]

Thank you hope you are doing well...how long have you got left Can't be that long now?

 

[motherofboys]

I'm 30 weeks now!