Not pregnant but fearing trying to conceive due to gender disapointment...

[Unexpected212]

Thats such good news. I'm glad you are more at peace with whatever happens. The more time goes on the more I'm just starting to get excited to have another baby. I'm so broody at the moment but terrified at the same time.

 

[motherofboys]

I just hope this feeling keeps up LOL

 

[motherofboys]

I think I've probably done such a good job convincing myself its a boy that I've already done most of my adjusting to the idea. At least I hope thats the reason, so I wont take it too hard when I do hear boy.

 

[Unexpected212]

Yeah thats my plan. I don't even let myself think about what it would be like to have a girl. I always try and see my future with two boys, tell everyone I know I'll have another boy so I can convince myself I'm having that second boy. So if it is a boy, which i think it will be, I will already have accepted it and be ok with it, but if it's a girl it'll be amazing.

When are you finding out?

 

[motherofboys]

Tuesday!

 

[Unexpected212]

Today was the first time I've felt OK with the idea of never having a girl. This is in no way bashing girls but there was a little girl at the BBQ I was at today and she was quite whiny and attention seeking and very very girly, and the little boy was just lovely and independent. I know it's more a character thing than a gender thing BUT it did make me feel like maybe having two boys would be quite lovely

 

[onetwothreebp]

I got my BFP today and my first thought was 'what if it's a girl?!'

 

[Unexpected212]

I think I will be the same but about a boy. I do try and tell myself if will be ok and that whatever happens I'll be happy just to have a healthy happy baby. I nearly lost DS in labour through cord compression and all sorts so I was lucky he is ok, but at the same time I always saw myself with girls.

ALSO

CONGRATULATIONSS!!! On your pregnancy, you must be so excited.

It's bitter sweet isn't it? I already know I will be like 'What if it's another boy!' the moment I get mine. I'm tempted to not find out the gender till birth but I know I won't be patient enough.

 

[motherofboys]

Congratulations on your bfp!

 

[onetwothreebp]

Thanks ladies! I'm hoping to enjoy this pregnancy more than my last one.

Having a daughter wouldn't mean the end of the world, my husband REALLY wants a little girl. personally, I think I'm already having a second baby for him - I deserve for it to be a boy!! I have a terrible relationship with my mother and sisters and I just don't know how to relate to girls at all.

Plus, I want my son to have a best friend! About 10 weeks or so until I can find out...

 

[Unexpected212]

I hope you get your boy

I hope we all get the gender we want. My friends sister just gave birth to a little girl and I felt sick with jealousy, and my friends pregnant and I'll be jealous if she has a girl. It's so petty but I can't help it

 

[onetwothreebp]

I know what you mean, but my cousin is due shortly and if she has a boy.. I will be a bit jealous! She already has a little boy so she could have my dream.

 

[MeAndMyShadow]

Congrats on your BFP! Hope you get your second boy, I have 2 boys 19 months apart and their bond is amazing! If you get a girl though, I think it will be such a great experience. Mother and Daughter bonds can be so strong! I wanted 2 boys but part of me still longs for the daughter experience(we are DONE with kids though!), either way, I'm sure you'll be overjoyed with either once you get used to the idea. CONGRATS again, so excited for you!!

 

[motherofboys]

Just thought I'd let you know that baby is a BOY and I'm actually really happy! Definitely outnumbered now with 4 boys!

 

[Unexpected212]

Congratulations on your little boy!

 

[Unexpected212]

So glad you are happy!

One of my fears about having 2 boys is how much people seem to dislike mother in laws. And the mother of the babies family always seem more involved than the fathers.

Like I had my mum there when I was giving birth, but obviously I wouldn't be there with my daughter in law....

 

[motherofboys]

I really think that depends on your family bond. I'm not very close to my Mum, we have a bad history of mother/daughter relationships in my family. Theres no way I would have my Mum at a birth, I prefer it being just me and DH. My Mum sees my boys once every 6 months, she hardly knows them. My mother in law sees them every weekend, and although she does annoy me, she is much more involved with them and they are closer to her.
I must admit one worry is that if they had a child with someone and then split up the woman could go off anywhere with the baby and I'd never see it, or they could get someone pregnant with out ever knowing (although I would hope I'd raise them to have more sense than to have random unprotected sex)

I think there are worries and fears with both genders, its what you choose to focus on. I was focusing on the wrong stuff. I really wanted to be able to fix my bad experience of the mother/daughter relationship, but also feared messing it up just as badly as she did.

 

[Unexpected212]

Thank you for that post that really helped and made me feel better.

Theres pros and cons to ever gender, and a lot of the time it comes down to the 'individual' rather than the gender.

Do you think you'll try for another or do you think you will stick with your four lovely boys?

 

[motherofboys]

I don't know. The original plan was 5, then recently DH has been saying 4 is enough and there have been moments during this pregnancy, like with my sickness being worse than all 3 of the others put together, when I have thought "can I do this again".
If I do have another I think it would likely be a boy anyway, I was considering swaying but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to sway, and after how I built myself up for a girl this time then spent a few horrible weeks before getting to this point, I'm not sure it would be wise to build myself up by swaying. So if I did it would have to be because I wanted another baby, and fully expect a boy, and just leave it in the hands of fate and see what I got.
DH said if we did we would have to wait till we moved which atm looks like it wont be for another 5 years so just a matter of seeing how we feel when we get to that point.
Makes me sad to think this is my last though, not because his a boy but because I love the part of pregnancy thats coming and I love having a baby and children.

 

[onetwothreebp]

Just thought I'd let you know that baby is a BOY and I'm actually really happy! Definitely outnumbered now with 4 boys!

Congratulations on your little boy! I am so glad to hear that you are feeling good about the experience. I knew a family of 4 boys and even as adults, they are all still close. I hope the same for your boys!

One of my fears about having 2 boys is how much people seem to dislike mother in laws. And the mother of the babies family always seem more involved than the fathers.

Like I had my mum there when I was giving birth, but obviously I wouldn't be there with my daughter in law....

I would have my MIL in the delivery room with me over my own mother. My mother and I struggle in our relationship and there are a lot of issues that neither of us are able to get past in order to be close. However, MIL has always treated me like a daughter (she has none) and I've always been happy to fill that role for her. I love my MIL dearly and if she is able to be present for the birth (lives 10 hours away) then I will have her in the delivery room with me. She has never seen a grandchild born, and I know she's quite keen to be there so I'd love to give her the opportunity.

I hope you get good DIL's!