Sovereign
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Not really looking for advice girls, just need to let it all out.
I tried to bf LO when he was first born but ended up mostly giving him EBM for the first 7 or 8 weeks or so. I then gave up trying to BF for about a week and managed to successfully relactate. LO was then BF for about 2 weeks but ended up getting totally wound up, I think because he was used to a bottle and getting the milk straight away as he would latch on fine and then get fed up after a few minutes. I couldn't stand seeing him get upset so I gave up and have been FF him ever since.
But im heartbroken.
I absolutely love BF my baby. I miss it so much. I miss the closeness. I feel like a failure. I know there is nothing wrong with FF but I just wanted to BF my baby. I feel like I am missing out on a big part of being a mum and im never going to get it again because OH doesn't want another baby so it's not like I can do it with the next one. I just wish I had persevered when LO was first born but he couldn't latch on at first cos he was so small and I thought he was going to starve. No-one at the hospital really explained anything to me, like that lots of mums have trouble at first or anything, so I thought I just couldn't do it. After reading Ellie's thread last night about SNS it got me thinking. But OH won't let me try again, he say's it's not fair on LO and im just upsetting myself and he's probably right. But last night I was in tears for hours and cried myself to sleep because it's just something I really really wish I had done.
Sorry for the long essay girls, just no-one else really understands. I'm totally gutted. Everyone just thinks i'm being a bit silly I think, that's why i'm posting here. x
I tried to bf LO when he was first born but ended up mostly giving him EBM for the first 7 or 8 weeks or so. I then gave up trying to BF for about a week and managed to successfully relactate. LO was then BF for about 2 weeks but ended up getting totally wound up, I think because he was used to a bottle and getting the milk straight away as he would latch on fine and then get fed up after a few minutes. I couldn't stand seeing him get upset so I gave up and have been FF him ever since.
But im heartbroken.
I absolutely love BF my baby. I miss it so much. I miss the closeness. I feel like a failure. I know there is nothing wrong with FF but I just wanted to BF my baby. I feel like I am missing out on a big part of being a mum and im never going to get it again because OH doesn't want another baby so it's not like I can do it with the next one. I just wish I had persevered when LO was first born but he couldn't latch on at first cos he was so small and I thought he was going to starve. No-one at the hospital really explained anything to me, like that lots of mums have trouble at first or anything, so I thought I just couldn't do it. After reading Ellie's thread last night about SNS it got me thinking. But OH won't let me try again, he say's it's not fair on LO and im just upsetting myself and he's probably right. But last night I was in tears for hours and cried myself to sleep because it's just something I really really wish I had done.
Sorry for the long essay girls, just no-one else really understands. I'm totally gutted. Everyone just thinks i'm being a bit silly I think, that's why i'm posting here. x