November 29th Due Date - I need a buddy!

[Melissa29]

Wow Cherry that is great! I am so excited for you and everyone else to find out. I can't wait-8 more days. Knowing my luck the baby will not cooperate with us.

Lucky- I am glad you had a great time and that your dress fit. I am in 2 weddings in Sept. When I ordered the one dress I wasn't pregnant yet so I didnt order a size up. I still have not called to order more fabric. I am such a procrastinator.

I have been looking online at all the baby gear that I want to register for. I have written down what I need/want and the exact model so that I dont forget.

So the last 2 days I have spent looking for childcare providers. I live in a very small town (like 1200 people). I want to find somebody from our town so that it is convenient for my husband and I and our parents if they would have to pick up.
I am having a couple different problems with this. My very good friend (I am in her wedding in Sept) runs a home daycare like 5 miles out of town-of course on my way to work. Being a teacher and having worked in a childcare myself- I just dont agree with everything she does. For instance, one day she had three babies under 6 months and a two year old. they were all sleeping so she decided to go out and mow her lawn before it rained. I'm sorry. Those are not her children and she is getting paid to watch them, she should not be mowing her lawn. She will also try different formula on the kids if they seem to have problems with their formula. That is a big no-no. That is the parents decision. What if they had an allergic reaction. ahhh. I know that she expects me to send my baby to her. She talks about how excited she is to spoil my baby and such. How do I break the news to her? I was thinking of just telling her that her and I are such good friends and I don't want to complicate our relationship. Also I don't want my baby to spend more time with my good friend than with me.

Another problem I am finding is that I don't know exactly how long I want to take maternity leave. My maternity benefits are crap. The first 30 days are unpaid. Then if I deliver vaginally-I get 2 weeks of disability which is like $300/week. If I have a c-section than I get 4 weeks of disability. From there I have to either take personal days(I get like 10 a year) or take them unpaid. My husband wants me to go back to work at like 6 weeks but I am going to take at least 8 weeks. I would really like to take the full 12 weeks but dont know. I dont know when to tell these childcare provider when my child would be starting. When do you girls plan on returning to work?

 

[desiwannabmom]

Ahh..that is a whole long discussion Melissa. Regd. the friend situation, I would probably do what you are thinking. Tell her that you are such good friends with her that you do not want to ruin it and also may be add that the grandparents are close by if the baby needs them?

I am so overwhelmed at all the options for ALL baby gear. I have no clue what I would buy for the carseat/stroller combo! So many different choices.

I do not get ANY maternity leave either. If I take time off, I have to use my sick and vacation days. Thankfully I have been in my job for 6 years now and I have accumulated quite a bit of both. I have a little over 7 weeks of vacation and a little over 12 weeks for sick so far. I will still accumulate more by Nov. I talked to HR and they said I can take a maximum of 12 weeks off. Right now I am planning on taking 8 full weeks off and then going part time for 4 more weeks, so that will equal about 10 weeks of time off. That way I will still have weeks left over for future vacations/baby sick days etc. I also have to think about baby #2 (I know, I know totally counting eggs before hatching) but yeah we definitely plan to have baby # 2 close in age to #1 (may be 2 - 2.5 years) that I also need to think about leave time for that second one. I cannot use up ALL my leave that took me so long to accumulate. I also will not need immediate childcare because my parents are going to watch the baby for about 4-5 months after I go back to work. I am so glad they are going to be able to do that for us! That way we are looking at child care when the baby is almost 7-8 months old. I haven't really started looking at any options yet for that reason...

 

[BumpHope123]

Cherry - Congrats!! How exciting!

Lucky - Welcome back! :wave: Glad to hear your sister's wedding went well.

Desi - I will definitely be taking all those classes. My health care provides lamaze, baby basics, baby CPR, and a few others which I can't think of at the moment. I tried to sign up a few weeks ago but they said they were only registering people for July at the moment. So apparently, I need to call the month before I want to start the class. Part of me wants to take them now, but then I don't want to forget things so I'm going to wait until after 28 weeks which is what they recommend.

Melissa - I think telling your friend that you don't want to complicate your friendship is a good excuse. Hopefully she understands, but either way you need to do what you are comfortable with. I am planning on taking some extended time off after the baby is born. Not quite sure just how long yet, but we are thinking at least 6 months, one year max. The childcare thing worries me and I am finding it hard to come to terms with having someone (most likely a stranger) care for my baby. I think the best option for us (even though it's a little scary too) is to have MIL move in for a while and help watch baby after I go back to work. So many decisions to make!!

 

[BumpHope123]

Desi - Have you checked out those car seat / stroller all in one thingies? I am leaning towards those b/c I know someone who has an Orbit system and it is so convenient. They can move the baby in and out of the car, onto the stroller, etc without disturbing the baby at all since the seat is detachable. Orbit is a bit pricey (around $900) but I have found some other brands that have great reviews are are more affordable. It is definitely overwhelming! I'm trying to research things little by little so I can keep some resemblance of sanity.

Is anyone having major baby brain?!? It is non-stop for me these days. I feel like I can't even speak properly. I'll be saying something and call things other than what they are (i.e. I'll call a car a truck, cereal will be soup, etc.)...it is so weird and DH is constantly laughing at me. Ugh, make it stop!!

 

[desiwannabmom]

I think the best option for us (even though it's a little scary too) is to have MIL move in for a while and help watch baby after I go back to work. So many decisions to make!!

Bumphope, I personally would trust my MIL and Mom over ANY day care person but that is just me. Especially when they are babies and are under 12 mo. After that I think they need some other babies to socialize with !

 

[desiwannabmom]

Are the called the Travel system or something like that? I have also seen that new research suggests to use rear facing seats until the child is 2 years old and I saw that there are some new styles of car seats that basically adjust upto 2 years but I didn't see any that then fit into a stroller also (I think you have to take the baby out of the car)! I haven't researched very much but on the surface there didn't seem to be too many...

Desi - Have you checked out those car seat / stroller all in one thingies? I am leaning towards those b/c I know someone who has an Orbit system and it is so convenient. They can move the baby in and out of the car, onto the stroller, etc without disturbing the baby at all since the seat is detachable. Orbit is a bit pricey (around $900) but I have found some other brands that have great reviews are are more affordable. It is definitely overwhelming! I'm trying to research things little by little so I can keep some resemblance of sanity.

Is anyone having major baby brain?!? It is non-stop for me these days. I feel like I can't even speak properly. I'll be saying something and call things other than what they are (i.e. I'll call a car a truck, cereal will be soup, etc.)...it is so weird and DH is constantly laughing at me. Ugh, make it stop!!

 

[BumpHope123]

I think the best option for us (even though it's a little scary too) is to have MIL move in for a while and help watch baby after I go back to work. So many decisions to make!!

Bumphope, I personally would trust my MIL and Mom over ANY day care person but that is just me. Especially when they are babies and are under 12 mo. After that I think they need some other babies to socialize with !

I totally agree...I would trust my MIL or Mom any day. I just meant that it may be a little scary to have my MIL move in. I'm definitely lucky to have her as a MIL as I've heard some nightmare MIL stories from other women, but still, it's a little scary to think of her moving in!

 

[BumpHope123]

Are the called the Travel system or something like that? I have also seen that new research suggests to use rear facing seats until the child is 2 years old and I saw that there are some new styles of car seats that basically adjust upto 2 years but I didn't see any that then fit into a stroller also (I think you have to take the baby out of the car)! I haven't researched very much but on the surface there didn't seem to be too many...

Desi - Have you checked out those car seat / stroller all in one thingies? I am leaning towards those b/c I know someone who has an Orbit system and it is so convenient. They can move the baby in and out of the car, onto the stroller, etc without disturbing the baby at all since the seat is detachable. Orbit is a bit pricey (around $900) but I have found some other brands that have great reviews are are more affordable. It is definitely overwhelming! I'm trying to research things little by little so I can keep some resemblance of sanity.

Is anyone having major baby brain?!? It is non-stop for me these days. I feel like I can't even speak properly. I'll be saying something and call things other than what they are (i.e. I'll call a car a truck, cereal will be soup, etc.)...it is so weird and DH is constantly laughing at me. Ugh, make it stop!!

Desi - I know that the Orbit system can be used as rear facing. I'm not sure about the other brands...I'll have to check them out.

 

[luckyalready]

Alli and Desi, I didnt read back all that far, but you mentioned carpel tunnel..UGH. That was my only complaint about being pregnant the last time.. and guess what? Im getting it again.. tingling hands and really sentive wrists if I touch near my veins on the inside of my wrist. It almost feels like a shocking sensation.. I hope it doesnt get as bad as I had it last time.. it kept me awake at night and towards the end I couldnt feel my pointer or middle finger at all.. on either hand.

 

[Melissa29]

Thanks Desi and Bumphope. Yeah I think I am just going to tell her that I don't want to complicate our relationship. I hate confrontation and it's going to be so hard to tell her as I know she is going to take it personally.

I wish I didn't have to go back after 8-12 weeks. My mom mentioned wanting to quit her job and watch my child but I couldn't let her do that. My MIL also works. I would definitely trust them. I really trust the lady I found to do my childcare. My husband and her brother were best friends growing up and still are. She has a beautiful house and her children are very well mannered and also have a great sense of humor. I am glad she has openings next year as a lot of people don't.

No Carpal Tunnel here yet..knock on wood.

https://www.gracobaby.com/Products/Pages/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductID=1769847
This is the Travel System that I bought (only a different pattern). I bought mine two years ago before I miscarried. I plan on using it since it has never been used and I love that pattern that I have.
I know the Graco Snugride was one of the top rated. The carseat has Pedifoam and is so soft and looks and feels like it would be very comfortable. I love that the stroller has two cup holders and a other little compartments for things. It also has a clock and a thermometer built into it.

 

[Allie84]

Hello ladies!!

Melissa, I think the advice you were given is a good idea and it sounds legitimate. I'm sure your friend won't have any questions. Glad you found such a good childcare provider!

Maternity leave is shocking in America, eh? I don't get any either, and because I'm a freelance worker and work from home I don't get sick or vacation days, either. I'm going to continue to work from home and be a stay at home mom at the same time but will probably take the first 8 weeks off completely from work.

Oh, gosh, you guys are way ahead of me on the baby gear front. I have barely thought about strollers and carseats, I just know I'd like a carseat that also doubles as a carrier. But you've given me so much to think about.

I have a doppler question....if I listen to the baby for a long time I will hear the heartrate drop and then raise again. I've Googled this and it seems fine but I wondered if it happened to anyone else? This is one reason I was afraid to get one, I knew I'd read into things!

 

[BumpHope123]

Allie - I tend to think that if you are hearing the heartbeat drop, then the baby is more likely moving around rather than the heartbeat actually skipping. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it (and let's face it, I worry about everything!)...I heard this a few times earlier on when I felt like I had to chase the heartbeat around. Baby is now much higher up and so much easier to hear so I haven't had this problem for a few weeks now. I went in for a last minute dr's appt last Friday (to check out the bladder problem I was having) and she listened to the heartbeat, told me it was 160, and then actually said something like, "it's a nice strong heartbeat, and no skipping which is good at this stage." Also, keep in mind that the Angelsounds doppler isn't exactly state of the art so it could be a flaw of the doppler that it's not picking up the heartbeat steadily...?

On another note, I really liked this dr. I saw and am going to try to switch to her instead of seeing the midwife, who I'm pretty sure thinks I'm anxiety ridden because of all the questions I ask her every time! MW actually said to me last time that she thought my anxiety would lessen by week 14 since the miscarriage % would be greatly reduced by then. And that I should try to stop worrying too much (though she can understand given my history why I would worry). But I really don't think I was asking anything out of the ordinary...just questions related to symptoms I was having. The only "odd" thing that I asked may have been about symptoms of an incompetent cervix. She just seemed like she didn't have clear answers which I didn't like and I'm assuming is since she probably doesn't get questions like that much since at this healthcare, if you have any complications, you have to switch to a regular dr., the MW can't see you any more. So we'll see if this dr. has openings for me.

 

[desiwannabmom]

Hmm..I hope they have openings for you BumpHope. I guess I never understood the MW concept. Did you get a Dr AND a MW before or just the MW?

Ladies, I am planning on using cloth diapers and I bought my very first set this morning on Babysteals.com! It was an impulse purchase, seemed like it was a lot of money on diapers but I read good reviews and went ahead and purchased. Are any of you planning on cloth diapering?

 

[Allie84]

Thanks BumpHope! Yes, I was listening for a long time and then proceeded to chase the baby haha. Usually I just listen for a bit and take the doppler off but I guess this is what I get for doing it too long. Glad you've experienced it too.

 

[Allie84]

I see a midwife, and my practice is the same, you can see a midwife and if you go high risk then you get switched to the doctors. Desi, I only have a midwife. I went through a period where I was nervous about that tried out another practice with only doctors, but then I didn't like how 'doctory' the doctor was! He was a lot less personal and I got the impression he was too much of an advocate for interventions (he scoffed that I want a natural birth, for example). I decided to trust the midwives and realize that if I need a doctor they are there for me. Bumphope, I can understand you switching though if they make you feel like you ask too many questions! I hate that, I always ask a ton of questions and I don't want it to be because I'm 'anxious', how about I'm just engaged and careful?

Did you have a bladder infection?

Speaking of providers, we did a hospital tour this week!! I know it's early but they do them monthly and I was curious to see it. It's a pretty small labor unit, with 9 beds, but the rooms are awesome with a whirlpool tub, loads of room, etc. You get to stay in the room the entire time including post partum (unless they get too busy) and it seems really cozy. They've kind of made it look like a bedroom in there haha. I found out our hospital's C-Section rate is 25%. Blah! I guess that's average, though...

I haven't thought about cloth diapering too much but I think I'll look into those ones where you mail them off, etc. Does it save you money in the end?

 

[BumpHope123]

I'm just like Allie...where I can see a MW only until the pregnancy has complications. My healthcare provider is an HMO and there are doctors in the practice too but it feels like they just lump you in with the MW's unless you specifically ask for a dr. At first, with my 7 wk appt, I just wanted to get seen and didn't care who saw me so they scheduled me with the MW and now ever since then, they just keep scheduling me with the same person. And I was fine with that (especially since I have a cousin who is an OBGYN and I feel comfortable calling him with questions, but haven't done so in a while), but after my last visit with the MW and then comparing it to my visit with the Dr., I just prefer the Dr. I saw. Also, the dr. caught a yeast infection by my telling her I was having yellow discharge (she took a swab and checked), whereas the MW just brushed it off last time I mentioned it to her. So I'm kinda annoyed by that too. I've never had a yeast infection before!! As for my bladder, I haven't heard about the results of the urine test yet. Hopefully today or tomorrow they will let me know if there's an infection or UTI, also which I've never had before.

And I agree, Allie...why do I have to be labeled as anxious just because I have questions and want to be informed?! Even the incompetent cervix question was legit if you ask me, since I have a risk factor for it, having had a D&C in the past.

I just took a hospital tour online this week. It was neat. I will also have labor, delivery, and post partum in the same room unless there is a c-section needed. And the hospital gives a celebratory cupcake and baby gift (they showed a little piggy bank which was actually cute) after delivery and a celebratory dinner for husband and wife...there was a three course meal laid out on the table and it didn't look bad at all for being hospital food. Hahaha, silly I know, but it's the little things that get me excited.

As for cloth diapers...hmmm, I don't know if I can make that commitment. I"m not sure I can give all that time to washing dirty diapers, though I do know people who have done it. I have thought about it but haven't done much research. Something tells me I am going to leave this decision to the end and focus on all the fun stuff first.

 

[BumpHope123]

Just tried to reschedule my next three appts that are already booked with the Dr. instead of a MW. They were only able to switch one because of the Dr's schedule. Ah well, something is better than nothing I suppose. I'm definitely going to make sure to schedule my third trimester appts well ahead of time with her!

 

[Allie84]

Hehe, we get a celebration dinner as well. It really is the little things. Did the hospital seem nice on the tour?

Sorry you couldn't get in with the doc easier. The drs. at my practice are also much harder to get into than the midwives.

 

[luckyalready]

Hi girls, I might have missed the posts, so Im sorry if you all have already told everyone.. Have any of you set up your ultrasound to find out the gender?
My appt is July 14th.

 

[desiwannabmom]

Hi Lucky,
I think most everyone is finding out except Sarah?

Cherry already found out and she is having a girl (after three boys). My appt. was the LAST one to be scheduled (or so I thought) and I see your date is after mine ! Mine is on July 12. I think most everyone else's appts are at the very end of this month or right before July 4th! Its gonna be an exciting time!