NTNP without guy knowing.

[racheluk]

Hi,

I'm kind of new to all this, I have a question, how soon can I test?

Thanks

Rachel

 

[AP]

Hi,

I'm kind of new to all this, I have a question, how soon can I test?

Thanks

Rachel

Hi Rachel
You might want to start your own thread, but the average time is normally 14 days after intercourse, or when you are due your period

 

[Loveya]

Hope your doing the right thing for the both of you and good luck with it.

If he's up for the idea of you being parents and he doesn't mind helping you out with it than I guess there is no problem.

 

[racheluk]

Im due on around the 27th, but im not super regular, fingers crossed.

We are both into the idea of making a baby allot now, even though he wont be involved with the kid I'm glad he is a good guy...

 

[youngwife20]

Hi sweetie i complelty understand ur motives for wanting to do it ur initial way! If i hadnt got married i probs would have tested a guy told him i wanted a baby bang do the deed and of i go.. but lukily i found my husband who wanted to start a family quick fast lol - now have a 12 week old lol (got married april pregnant end of may) lol my tip for u is dont hammer it out to much lol u want his sperm of good quality if ur banging him so much his sperm will be useless! I realised tjhat! We did it 5 times a day to try and make a baby and nothing the time we did it twice in the whole month it happened! Good luck sweetie xx

 

[racheluk]

I do feel kind of odd, not sure if I'm just super sensitive or looking for signs... I have read what you said about quality vs quantity.... both are good in my book

 

[youngone]

hey its SUPER important that you know something...

there is NO test for herpes, so if you say he's 'clean'- you don't know that at all. he may not be, and may not have symptoms at all so may not actually know. the exact same thing has happened to 2 of my mates before.

there is no way to test for HPV (wart virus that ALSO causes cancer) OR herpes virus (bloods are ridiculous and inconclusive and they don't test for it) so your actually wrong.

protect yourself. or you could live with your mistake for the rest of your life

 

[racheluk]

thanks for your concern, but there are risks with everything we do, you cant get the things you truly want without taking risks, life is to short to cover yourself in cotton wool.

 

[1eighty]

The "odd" feeling could be your hormones trying to reach a natural balance after your time on the Pill, or you could be lucky just don't be disappointed if you meet AF the first few cycles - it can take between two weeks and a year for your system to settle in order to conceive.

I started reading this thread expecting it to be a car crash, but it looks like it's going to have a happy ending after all!

Happy for you

 

[pomeranian]

I think a lot of other people have raised good points, but one thing I think you should clarify with him is not whether he would be okay with you ending up pregnant by accident and willing to be involved if this was to occur, but that he is happy to be actively and knowingly trying to get pregnant. These are two very different things. Does he know you are off birth control? If he does and he knows you aren't doing anything else to avoid pregnancy (spermicides or charting your cycles to avoid ovulation), then that's one thing. It might be unwise in some respects, but at least it isn't deceitful. But if he just thinks you are giving up condoms and there is little chance you could get pregnant because you are doing other things to prevent it, then that is dishonest and not fair, even if you've talked about the 'what ifs'.

totally agree with this, its one thing for him to know there are no precautions and he is then as much to blame as you if it happens, but its totally another thing for him to not know neither of you are taking precautions.

the 'what ifs' are probably very small in his head if he thinks you are using other methods........but in reality the 'what ifs' are HUGE!!!

how is he going to feel about being a sperm donor?? because it sounds like that is really all he is going to be.

you dont love him? then why would you even consider this?! he may have wanted a baby with his ex, but that was probably a totally different set up, no none of this 'no strings fun'. Do you even know him that well? are there any medical issues in his family that you would need to be aware of?

i came from a single parent family and have been very clear that i would not bring a baby into the world if i was not sure there would be two parents involved who wanted to be parents. i guess that would never be security enough that things would work out like the fairy tales we all hope for, but it would be good enough of a start for me and a baby.

is he ready for this?? he might say so but really he hasnt been given much time to think about the responsibilities this will bring. the financial commitment he may feel he needs to make to you, even if your in a position not to need it! are you ready to be tied to this guy for the rest of your life? is he ready to be tied to you?

my god girl you really have opened a can of worms here!!!

i think you need to give great consideration to this, even if he has said it is somethign he wants..........the idea might me nice now but in reality dirty nappies, baby sick, crying, etc etc may not be quite so nice.

good luck to you, i hope you do the right thing.

 

[racheluk]

We have talked it through allot, he knows I'm not on any form of birth control and that I want to get pregnant from him. He is happy to help me get what I want and he knows I wont want anything from him once I am pregnant.

I know I'm not the marrying type, never been in love or wanted a partner, my mum was a single parent and she loved us all the same. This started as some no string fun and for him this is all it will be, I just decided to be honest with him and he is fine.

My best friend thinks I'm a bit crazy for doing this but I dont care, and to be honest if he didn't want to knock me up I would find another guy to help, this means more to me than anything else.

 

[pomeranian]

We have talked it through allot, he knows I'm not on any form of birth control and that I want to get pregnant from him. He is happy to help me get what I want and he knows I wont want anything from him once I am pregnant.

I know I'm not the marrying type, never been in love or wanted a partner, my mum was a single parent and she loved us all the same. This started as some no string fun and for him this is all it will be, I just decided to be honest with him and he is fine.

My best friend thinks I'm a bit crazy for doing this but I dont care, and to be honest if he didn't want to knock me up I would find another guy to help, this means more to me than anything else.

you may not want anything from him once you are pregnant but the same may not be said for you child, s/he may want something from him after all he will have made this child.

sorry maybe i cant see it as some of the other ladies have on here, and im with your best friend on this one. its totally crazy and a little bit selfish.

im afraid i cant see why/how anyone would want to bring a baby into a single parent family on purpose. NOT saying that its a bad thing, i was brought up in one and have a successful job, a lovely house, nice things etc etc but the only thing i really wanted was to be the same as my friends and have TWO parents in my life.

and i dont see how it can continue to be 'no strings fun' for him, i wonder if in a few weeks youll find this no strings fun becomes nothing at all

 

[chickenchaser]

What happens when you are pregnant do you just stop seeing him, never to meet again?
What if he changes his mind once the baby is born and wants to be involved have joint custody? You say you have discussed it a lot but people change your feelings change.

 

[racheluk]

we have talked about this, he is a nice guy and when I get pregnant he will be as involved as much as he wants to be and I don't have a problem with that in any way. It will be his kid as much as mine but he or she will live with me and I wont look to him for support.

I know people change over time and I'm prepared for whatever happens between us.

 

[racheluk]

AF has put in an appearance boo, oh well

 

[babyjan]

I don't think this is really good idea, just think of it like this if you were to get pregnant and have this baby how would you explain the situation to him/her when they get older iykwim?
I've just read your last post and I'm glad you have spoken about what you really want with him, hope it all works out for you x

Sorry about the arrival of AF

 

[racheluk]

I want it to happen so much, I will never hide what happens to bring my son or daughter into the world from them but it may not be that easy, I know that.

How many loveless relationships are forced together 'for the children' in one way or another? I know I will never love a guy, or a girl for that matter, and I know that I already love my un-conceived child.....

 

[Caitlin.]

I understand your longing for a child. I was that way for years but I actually ended up getting pregnant. It was a shock. The biological father and I are not together anymore. After the first ultrasound he pretty much wanted nothing to do with me and I quote, "It was all fun until you got pregnant."

So you don't have to be with the biological father to have a baby. My husband and I got together when my daughter was 5 weeks old and she's known him as Dad ever since. We got married a month ago and I'm hoping for him to adopt her this year.

So the point of my story is, you don't need to be with the biological father but just make sure you're doing what is right for you and this child you will be bringing into the world. I thought I'd be a single parent and I said I'd never be with anyone again. Life can change and it can change quick.

Good luck!

 

[racheluk]

Does anyone else think that 28 days gets allot longer when your NTNP-ing?

 

[Old Bear]

I think it’s a good thing your AF arrived.

I also think it’s irresponsible to try to bring a child into the world under your circumstances.

Are you very young? You are certainly acting like you are. Like a child who wants a toy they haven’t got.