October babies due dates and bump colours

[DMG83]

he's the best, I'm so lucky xx

 

[LittleStars]

Nai - gorgeous crib! My dad would be jealous. He likes making things with wood but my mom insisted on buying me two moses baskets this time since my sister was taking the bassinette this time around (It was ours when we were born). He did make DD furniture for her dollies though and he's been 'told' that DD wants a fruit stand for xmas. That should keep him busy. You'll definitely have to come up with some projects from time to time for your Dad.

Shelleney - no worries, I think it's been an interesting discussion. We all just expect that what is normal for us is normal for all until someone points out how things are different. My sister lives in the same province but in a different city and her hospital is way more tricked out than mine, but I'm specifically going to my hospital because they are best equiped for high risk mulitple births - doesn't really matter to me. Hospital stays suck, period.

On the bright side - I know several times my mom has relayed stories about her time when she had my brother while still living in the UK and she was in a ward. She enjoyed her time, chatted with the other ladies and they all helped each other out with advice, and watching the babies while one of them showered or went potty. It was a good experience for her at the end of the day.

 

[nypage1981]

Nice cradle, so cute!

Adele- yes, declawed the cat...you know, had his front claws removed? Idk how else to explain it! Lol. I wasnt' with him when it was done so dont know the details and probably do not want to know....poor baby.

I suppose if you are in a ward, you aren't totally alone when DH has to leave you!

 

[DMG83]

you have to take your baby EVERYWHERE with you when you are moved to the ward (well you do at least in my local hospital).. there's no nursery or anything the baby is in a clear cot(!? ) on wheels which stays by your bed then you wheel it with you to the toilet/showers etc. you're not allowed to leave them with anyone else..

also what made me get a bit sad was my colleague told me (she gave birth at same hospital as me) that the nurses "prefer you not to hold baby unless necessary".. ie feeding.. because you might be drowsy and drop the baby whilst in hospital.. but surely it's YOUR baby, you can bloody do what you like!?

but oh well, as long as we're all cared for efficiently that's all that matters

Thanks for the lovely comments re the crib ladies xx

 

[shelleney]

Ive been told that too, Nai. They prefer the babies to live in their perspex box most of the time, except for during feeds. After the feed, you are advised to put the baby back in the box, incase you fall asleep with LO in your arms.
You are definitely not allowed to carry the baby around the ward in your arms, you must push LO around in the perspex box. This is incase you drop the baby on the floor (!)

Oh dear
xx

 

[DMG83]

i'm surprised they don't make us buy a perspex box to wheel them around at home in... it's a bit patronising isn't it... i can understand if you've had anaesthetic but health & safety gone one step too far i think..

 

[x-TyMa-x]

Oh and all this ... Dont spoil the baby with cuddles ..... Pfft if i want to cuddle my baby, I will ...... Ive waited 9months to cuddle her, not to watch her lying in a perspex tank! x

 

[zb5]

Nai, beautiful crib!! And cute cat too.

That is crazy that they don't encourage you to hold your baby! Silly... I don't think I would listen to them...

 

[DMG83]

I'm going to ignore them, and if they say anything I'm going to get my mum to tell them what for!! she had 8, she didn't leave us in a perspex tank, love and cuddles were encouraged, and we all turned out fairly normal

zb5 thanks hun my cat has gone from being an evil outdoor cat who hated me to the most loving content house cat since we moved my gorgeous boy (dogs) bum is in the one piccie on there too lol he's like "let me in some of the photo action mum!!"

ooooh is anyone doing a newborn photo shoot and has anyone bought any props yet? my photographer suggested about 2 weeks old if LO is happy and healthy.. i'm thinking of getting some of the hats with the super large flowers on, and maybe a knitted hammock for her to be in.. any other ideas!? (This type of style)

I've been doing LO's laundry all day and now my hands smell AMAZING...

 

[nypage1981]

Nai- ive got my newborn pics scheduled and have bought a knit pumpkin hat on etsy and am going to by a matching flower headband for my daughter.....also will be using pumpkins, fall color leaves, white fuzzy throw, and a basket for some...the photgrapher has a hammock that is knt and a green bunting and different hat so it will be fun! I wanted mine to be kinda fall time photos since he is an October baby. Can't wait!

 

[Lys]

Nai! Love the crib / bassinet!! Beautiful wood working!!

Love the ideas on the photo shoot they sound super cute. I looked at the link Nai and they have some great ideas. I would love to do one just don't know if we have the extra money... might look into costs though and see if its something we can do! NY, the pumpkin / fall colors sounds amazing can't wait to see your ladies pics!!

 

[DMG83]

see my niece is DESPERATE for me to do halloween/fall style shoot.. pumpkins etc. but then i think what if she doesn't appear til november? so that would be more winter... *sigh* maybe i'll have to buy one of everything available and see what happens I love your idea x

 

[DMG83]

Thanks Lys!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Nai, the cradle is BEAUTIFUL! What a touching gift from your father. It's very well thought out and done with love. You'll be able to look at it and know it was made by your father's hands. Just lovely!

Ladies, I complain about medical care here in Central NY a whole lot but holy cats! I couldn't stay in a unit full of women and their babies crying all at once. It'd put me over the edge. Not to mention your not allowed to cuddle?! I guess I imagine they do that so nobody will just walk off with your kids?! How do they monitor that aspect? In our hospitals here in the U.S. the babies get bands with mothers name and mommies get bands with babies name on them. I think some hospitals take it a step further and put ankle bracelets on them in case someone wants to walk off with them. Here it's security.

Also, the rooms are big. Especially the private rooms. Doug would have a chair that turns into a bed however there are a couple hospitals that now have sofa beds for fathers. The rooms are air conditioned (private ones) have their own showers, tv.'s etc. I like them quite a bit. I do sometimes get the double rooms and the one time I had to share they whisked me off because I was having my cerclage put in and the mother next to me just had her surgery and the baby's heartbeat stopped so we both were traumatized.

Either way, I DO pray you UK ladies find some kind of peace and ability to enjoy the time with your little ones and hubbies. I'm sorry it's not as you would like it to be. I'm slightly hormonal so please forgive me for my emotional posts

 

[shelleney]

MA - In my hospital, when you are transferred to the postnatal ward, a small plastic security tag is placed inside your baby's sleepsuit (next to their foot). Then if anyone was to walk out with them, the tag would set off a loud alarm, and the staff would come running.
Also, as soon as babies are born, they have a wristband and ankleband put on them, which has their Mummy's name and hospital number. Hopefully this way babies wont get mixed up

 

[Mrsturner]

MA - My local hospital is the same as shelleney's. Wrist bands on baby, mummy and daddy plus an alarmed leg band which goes off if the baby is taken off the ward. It is reassuring.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

I've heard some horror stories about U.S. hospitals before they started doing that.

Actually after I lost my son preterm 2 years ago, one of the hospitals LOST a couples baby after they gave birth preterm and lost him. Turned out the hospital threw him away. I would have been much angrier had our hospital done that with our son. I can understand WHY They tag the babies now.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Ladies, this is slightly off topic but I'm in need of some input here.

My sil has 5 kids and my other sil has twins. Then there's 6 adults.

On MY side there's just my parents (who remember, are very material oriented and spend LOADS even when they can't afford it because that's the way they show their affection).

On top of that, my mom has Christmas eve with HER side of the family. That's 23 adults, 11 children.

Dads side has 12 adults and there's only our Amelia when she gets here that's the child.

I feel overwhelmed! This is the first year with our own immediate family...Doug, Myself and Amelia. We want peace and honestly our monies have been put toward her these past several months and will most likely be put toward her and housing costs.


My sil as much as I love her wants US to come up to her place for Thanksgiving...NOT going to happen because Doug has to work AND I'm not driving to PA from New York only a few short weeks after having Amelia. It's not honestly realistic for US to drive up there.

THEN she's asking what to do this year. Picking an adult out of a hat? Pick a couple, or just do all the kids only.


Now I'm not trying to be a grinch of Christmas here, but with ALL these people on all sides It's costly! It was costly BEFORE Amelia was conceived.....WITH her, it's even more costly because she has necessities that come first.

Last year we limited all the places we went and had a LOVELY intimate Christmas together which is what I want to start for Amelia. A "FAMILY" tradition that consists of the 3 of us. A quiet family Christmas maybe with going to the traditional brunch every other year at my dads side. We get brunch and don't have to cook the rest of the day.

What I CAN'T do is the Christmas Eve with my mothers family, Christmas morning at my parents, Christmas Brunch with my dads side and fill in somewhere with my husbands family. It's driving me NUTS! My mom doesn't want to back down...I've asked for YEARS to switch the Christmas eve thing and she refuses. But they expect us there for Christmas morning and then move to dads side for brunch.

My sil however, expects us to gather at some point where her 5 kids load up on gifts that 2 of the kids never even appreciate...then one of them says he's board and wants to leave because he didn't get what he wanted.

Honestly I'm THROUGH with this. The whole IDEA of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. I want to incorporate that in my daughters life and NOT to expect HUGE amounts of gifts. Don't get me wrong, I don't want her to be in NEED., I just don't feel as though she needs all the latest and greatest top gifts...I don't want her to lose sight that the celebration is about a Savior who was BORN so that she could live eternally in heaven...the gift is LIFE and while small tokens are nice....they do not represent the biggest gifts in life...LOVE, LIFE, JOY, Happiness, and all the other fruits of the spirit.

So now I'm trying to come up with an idea of what to do. My thought is to have a combined Christmas dinner on Christmas even with both my moms side AND my husbands side. NO PRESSIES please! Just yourselves. Now some will LOVE the idea because like us, they just don't have the money. OTHERS on the other hand like my SIL who says she purposely doesn't give her kids a lot of gifts but one big gift...expects it as my parents and some others.

My thought is I don't want to really travel around with a newborn making her sick. She will be in her nursery most of the time safe and sound. I'll make a simple dish for everyone with simple dessert. ((I usually have prime rib dinner but not with that many)). THEN, instead of everyone giving gifts. I thought I'd buy small party favors and give them out as they leave.

Games, food, Christmas music, memories. That's what I was hoping for without the focus being how much and how big the gifts are.

OR,

That doug and I would donate money and gifts to a family in need this year and let that be that.

Does anyone have a HUGE family of extendeds on both sides? What do you do?? How would you handle this?!

 

[DMG83]

yep what shell said ^^ also at my hospital the maternity ward is coded and any visitors have to ring the buzzer to come in, babies are checked as they leave the ward that the wrist band matches the mummy's wrist band - the wrist bands say "baby girl of X" for example.. all babies are checked BEFORE they leave that you're not taking one, or taking the wrong one

and you should never leave your baby at any time on the ward, you couldn't just nip off to the loo etc. and leave your baby by your bed/with someone else (except daddy obviously)

We don't have the nurseries at the hospital like I (believe!?) you have in US where the babies go?

MA it's such a wonderful gift I know.. I can't believe he did such a beautiful job - he checked every rule and regulation and guideline for sizing/spacing of bars/height of bars etc. as well before he made it so I have every confidence that it's perfect and 100% safe DH gave dad the BIGGEST hug when he collected it and my dad (who is very quiet hehe) was all "oh uh um what was that for!?" and DH said "the amazing CRIB obviously!!" and my dad was just beaming!!!!

 

[DMG83]

ok MA think I can help (or at least let you know what WE'RE doing this year) a little...

I am one of 8 siblings, 4 are partnered up, with my LO there will be 8 grandchildren
DH is one of 3 siblings, 3 partners, no children,
Both our parents are still together

So over the years we have had argument after argument from the inlaws about where we should spend christmas.. Now i've ALWAYS gone to midnight mass with my parents and family at our local church (where DH and I married), and we've always wanted to continue this tradition. Over the years we have tried to do christmas morning at one parent, christmas afternoon at the other (which is just a nightmare driving around on christmas day, it's no fun for anyone!)

Well my brothers and sisters come and go on different days over christmas, my mum finds out what day each sibling can visit and she does a "christmas dinner" on that day for them, complete with decorations, crackers etc. and it makes no difference if it's christmas eve or any time up to new years eve, anyone is welcome to come and have CHRISTMAS with the family without causing anyone any upset. We all get told when everyone is coming down and we can all go visit on that day too if we want...

Now DH's family.... they believe that we should be doing the following: (I kid you not....)

Christmas eve LUNCH - annual traditional pub lunch with all of DH's immediate and extended family (cousins etc.)
Christmas tea + midnight mass with MIL/FIL/2xSILs
Christmas day - ALL day at their house
Christmas night - buffet at DH's aunties house to see the extended family all again
Boxing day - ALL day at their house where they do a walk with their friends around the block and eat jacket potatoes when they get back
Boxing day night - drinks at their local pub

Now.. where in that list am I supposed to see MY family OR have our OWN family christmas!?!

so this is what we've been able to come up with and we're sticking to our guns...

Christmas eve lunch - traditional pub lunch with the inlaw extended family
Midnight mass with LO with my family at the church DH and I married in, the same church our LO will be christened in - with my family and DH's family is MORE than welcome to come and join us there
Christmas day we are spending at OUR house, the 3 of us (plus my niece obviously - long story for those who don't know [she's 18]). We will open our own presents with DH taking the role that my dad has always done - he will hand out the presents ONE AT A TIME from under the tree.
At 4pm on christmas day my parents, siblings, their children, are invited to ours for a buffet supper, we will hand out our presents traditionally (my dad will hand out these ones as he has always done for our family). Each person will have ONE. SMALL. present each (or often i/my siblings will do a hamper for eachother of homemade gifts per family - jams/chutneys/knitted scarves/jewellery etc.).

Now the reason why the presents are handed out by one person one at a time is so that everyone knows WHO their present is from, and has a chance to say thank you and appreciate each small gift they get - it's not a free for all under the christmas tree where noone knows who gave what (or cares for that matter )

LO will be raised to appreciate each gift for what it is and to say thankyou to the person who was thoughtful enough to get her it, no matter WHAT it is, she won't be bought up that christmas is just for getting presents!!

On boxing day, DH's family can come over from the morning, we will do a traditional christmas day lunch, they can stay all day and leave when it is time for them to go to his aunties buffet dinner, we won't be going.

Between boxing day and new years DH and I will go to my parents if their is a sibling visiting who we haven't seen for a while..

Now my parents are ECSTATIC about this idea we've come up with, they think it's great that we'll have our OWN christmas (making our OWN traditions) but that also we are keeping some OLD traditions with the family. However DH's family are appalled and think we are being selfish...

So be it, we are happy with our choices and that by doing what we have planned we will be instilling in LO over the years the true importance of christmas.

So my advice would be to discuss with Doug what is important to YOU as a family unit with Amelia to experience over christmas, once you've decided what that is, go from there - make sure you get to see each side of the family at some point over christmas, but mainly make sure that you get to enjoy and celebrate your OWN special day together...