October babies due dates and bump colours

[DMG83]

oops just to add to my essay - my sister's youngest boy (who is 10) is a pure brat and HATES his presents each year which just makes it funnier cos my brothers and sisters purposefully give him an EVEN more "thoughtful" gift the next year. If he wasn't such an ungrateful brat he'd probably get the odd video game etc. but until he learns some manners he won't be getting anything "cool" or "expensive" off any of us

some ideas we do for the hampers as well as the jams/jewellery etc. from above for example would be homemade chocolate truffles with a couple of (on sale!!) dvd's - one for the parents, one for the kids, a couple of candles if there's no kids in the family so they can have a romantic night in with the dvd, some cookies, and sometimes we'll add things like a bottle of wine depending on the size of the family etc. That type of thing....

Everyone loves it

we don't buy gifts for extended family at all - that would just be a nightmare x

 

[shelleney]

Wow - cant believe we are talking Christmas already!!

MA - sorry to hear that you are struggling with what to do this year. I agree with you that it should be about religion and family values, rather than big gifts and lots of unnecessary travelling. I hope that you and Doug manage to find a plan that you are both happy with (but that doesnt offend too many people) and that you enjoy your first Christmas as a family of 3

Nai - sounds like you have it all planned out! good for you! I like the idea of creating your own traditions, whilst incorporating a few of the old family traditions. The best of both worlds, and keep everyone happy (except your in-laws who sound like they will never be happy!) Well done!

AFM: my fiance and I have only been together 3 years, so this will be our 4th Christmas together. The first 2 years we did this:

Christmas Eve spent at my Dad and Stepmums
Christmas Day spent at my Mum and Stepdads
Boxing Day spent at OH's parents

It worked quite well those 2 years I think.
Last year, however, we decided we wanted to spend the whole of the Christmas season alone, just the 2 of us. The reason for this is, that we lost our first baby last Summer, and he wouldve been due just after Christmas. We just wanted to be together and grieve for our baby, and acknowledge how things couldve been.

Anyways, this Christmas we will be a family of 3, finally! And I think we will be spending the whole season at home, and asking people to come to us, rather than the other way round. I dont want to be taking our tiny daughter out in the cold, messing up her routine, etc. So if people want to see us, they will have to make the effort. I hope it works....

xx

 

[shelleney]

And regarding presents - we will seriously be cutting down on the spending this year! We will only be buying for the children on both our sides of the family. And I may consider making gifts for the adults (but im not sure what to make yet?)
xx

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hm, you've both given me some things to think about. I don't think we should be buying for our extended families. I think that's just NUTS. I'm unsure how this is going to work with my dads side of the family who is also materialistic..but I DO love the brunch. I think last year (I didn't go) they decided no more pressies because they're all adults now and there was just a brunch. I like that idea as long as it's not EARLY.

My dad is a horrible smoker and I just don't want Amelia there for Christmas morning. Not to mention the pediatrician said nono to being in the same room with avid smokers like my dad because it can cause upper respitory issues. He knows this and STILL smokes with me in the room.

Instead of two big gifts, I think the kids will get one SMALL gift (nieces and nephews) maybe choose one couple to buy for. The issue is that it costs more to buy for the couple and 7 kids versus the 3 of us. Luckily I started somewhat early and have a couple things on hand for Christmas. Maybe I'll try the basket with some homemade things as you said.

But the extended family for mom....I was thinking Christmas eve night. OR if they don't want to do that, THEY Can come to our place after Christmas brunch and open gifts with Amelia.

To travel....it takes us an hour back and forth to get to my parents for that Christmas Eve shindig and Christmas morning and brunch with them. THEN, whatever happens with my inlaws...it's another hour distance a whole other way. Last year was the first year we said no and actually had a lovely Christmas together with just the two of us. I loved it...I LONG for Amelia to have it!

Thanks for giving some input. I'm already getting ideas to talk to my husband about. I also need to break the news to my mom soon. Either way I don't think she's going to be happy...I don't think THEY'LL travel to us....and already after mentioning Christmas eve at our place that my uncle (who my dad doesn't even like)....my dad said my uncle wouldn't travel that far. What does he care?! If they come, fine! If they don't, then that's fine too. Why do that?! They're selfish and want Christmas eve at their house, US to come to them Christmas morning (or spend the night in their smoke-filled house) and go for brunch at my dads side.

Do they even remember how they had Christmas with me when I was younger?? Why is it that Doug and I can't have that with our own daughter?!

So, we're going to make a decision over the next couple of weeks and finalize it. Either they can role with it or not. It's time for us to create family traditions with our own children now.

 

[DMG83]

I totally agree with you MA - you're never going to please them all so you need to concentrate on what will please you as a family and then fit your families around that... you're going to have a very tiny little girl and you don't want her in a smoke filled house or out in the freezing cold travelling around an hour here an hour there at christmas

DH and I figured, if we didn't put our foot down THIS year, the inlaws would expect us to bend to their wishes EVERY year in the future.. you know what it's like

also, last year we said we were spending christmas alone, which we had planned on doing, except then we got snowed in about a week before christmas and without a 4x4 couldn't get out to any shops to buy any christmas food etc. so my dad came and picked us up on christmas eve and took us (and our furbabies) to their house for christmas eve/day so that we could HAVE a christmas...

Now DH rang his mum on christmas day just to wish her a merry christmas etc. and didn't mention anything about where we were or anything like that, he just said we were having a lovely time etc.etc.

Well.. when we went down the inlaws on boxing day his mum had a right go at us calling us liars etc. saying we had planned to be down my parents all along.. (which was NOT true!) turns out she rang my mum on boxing day morning before we turned up at hers and asked really slyly if she'd seen us over christmas

So this year we're putting our feet firmly down! And we can't wait to spend our first christmas together as a family...

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Gosh Nai, I thought we had it bad. I'm excited about making our own traditions with our daughter. I'm not about to let selfishness get in the way of that. I think I like the Christmas eve thing at our house, Christmas day at our house and brunch with my dads side. We'll see how it all goes in the next few months.

I have to start planning now. We did the whole Christmas thing with dh's family here last year. Prime Rib, Yorkshire pudding (my husbands favorite) the poppers. It was a traditional English Christmas. I don't think I mentioned I lived in North Yorkshire for a short time. I miss England honestly. A bit pricey to live there, but I loved it! I'm hoping he'll get his passport and we'll get to go again. I'd love to show him around a bit. Though its been over 10 years so I'm a bit rusty. I left a part of me in England when I came back home. I'd also like to visit Ireland and he'd like to see Scotland where his family history started.

 

[DMG83]

hun we have got it bad from the inlaws but it's made us stubborn as anything now so it's actually helped us out really - imagine if they were only slightly demanding.. then we'd be made to feel awful not doing as they say, at least this way we can just say outright that they are totally out of order and feel happy doing our own thing! every cloud has a silver lining

 

[LittleStars]

Lys - I'm sure you'll be able to get some beautiful shots of baby even if not professional. All you need is a decent camera, preferrably SLR borrowed if not owned and a good ol' pumpkin patch. With piles of pumpkins and bales of hay with the changing trees in the background I'm sure you can take some gorgeous shots. That's the thing I love about digital cameras.. you can make sure you got hte shot you wanted and then can enhance them yourself on the computer.

MA - growing up for Christmas we just woke up at home and opened presents and had Christmas dinner etc.. never had to worry about visiting everyone because my parents were immigrants and we had no family in Canada. Sure my mom would spend a good part of the morning after presents on the phone overseas as did my dad and ofrom time to time we had to pop on the phone and say thank you for presents sent (along with writing a letter). But that was it. Easy.

Now that I've been with DH for 10 years our Christmas has got complicated. But once you have a child it changes. You want to simplify things and build your own experiences. Now I am a very devout atheist but I still enjoy Christmas and believe it's about spending time with your family, enjoying traditions, sharing love and having a good meal to boot.

Sooooo.. once we had DD we decided that Christmas morning was ours, with DD opening her stocking/Santa presents and all her presents from us and the ones that came in the mail from my FIL who lives very far away. We spend Christmas eve with the inlaws and whoever can make it and spend Christmas afternoon/early evening with my parents and siblings. Having a child means leaving early to get the little one to bed but also means having Christmas night to ourselves. We are lucky as all family lives in the same city or comes to the city but my inaws HATE my parents so they don't voluntarily mingle. As for presents, we are blunt each year and make a deal with each side of the family as to what we are setting out price limit to and only buy for immediate family. That way they know what we are spending and can either choose to reciprocate, state their own financial restrictions or spend what they want. Some years I have supplemented gift giving by making things.. and it's become tradition that DD bakes for everyone as her gifts each year. Another tactic we use over the years is banding together with family to buy one good/appreciated gift for someone.. like this year my dad wants a new GPS so we are all throwing in some money to get him something he really wants, saves time and money and in the long run he'd rather have that than a bunch of smaller crappier gifts.

I'm rambling and all ove rthe place.. DD is having a bath and keep making me come see her foam beard etc. Anyway, discuss with your DH what is the minimum he would accept with his family and do that same, discuss with each other what that would make your holiday like and then once decided then inform everyone. I know for us, as soon as my nearly 103 year old grandmother passes (she lives with my parents) we are going to start rotating who hosts Christmas so sometimes it'll be at our house and sometimes we'll be driving 5 hours out of town so my sister doesn't have to make the journey. Until then though we are stuck with my parents hosting.. though she does make a mean turkey so I can't complain. Who says Brits can't cook??

I'd rather just not visit everyone and let everyone come to me honestly but DD loves all the adventure of going and seeing everyone and she looks forward to it. After a week or two you will start having a routine and feeling confident on your parenting and will be in a better place to judge what you do and do not want to put your family though. It's hard to imagine what things will be like until the time comes.

 

[zb5]

Ooh, you ladies have it tough with Christmas! We will probably be visiting DH's family as his mom is sick. However, before she got sick, we were telling everyone "We'll see how it goes... we will have a 2-3 month old, so we won't make plans until we figure things out more."

I also think, no matter what the expectations are, you get to choose what gifts you give. If you don't want to give large gifts, just give smaller or hand-made ones! People SHOULD understand, and if they don't, then they are being insensitive.

We have planned Thanksgiving already though, my family (mom, dad, and sis) is coming to visit us and has promised to do all the cooking. It is the soonest my sister could make it after the baby, and she is sooooo excited to meet him.

 

[LittleStars]

whoa that was a novel.. sorry


I'll keep the next part brief. Went to OB/US appointment. Babies are fat little chrubs coming in at 5lbs 11oz and 5lbs 12oz. Apparently very long too. The US was great but there was a mix up with my appointment (I was told I was booked at 2pm but the nurse who took me wrote me down in her calendar for the day at 2:30) aqnd then they were running an hour late.. so after getting through US super fast and waiting 45 minutes to when my appointment was supposed to be I was forced to wait anoher 1.5 hours. I was funing mad and really sad for myself and super uncomfortable and trying my best to ensure I wouldn't snap at the nurse, meanwhile having nothing left to read because I had read 2 newpapers and done 2 crosswords and 2 sudoku's. I got a nurse I don't normally see and I don't really care for her honesty. She came to get my literally 8 minutes before I was going to storm up to reception and let them know I was leaving and wouldn't be back until my appointment next friday. So when she came I said as nicely as I could muster that I have to leave soon and so they better do the most important things first because I was staying on schedule. She was all pissy and told me to tell the doctor and never made any apologies for screwing up my appointment time and even told me I should move my appointments to the morning if it was such a big deal. I told her no can do since DD is in school and needs a pick up. She tried to tell me delays are normal, I told her this was way worse than anything I'd seen before as I had been coming to the clinic since May on a biweekly basis and now weekly. Best yet, the receptionist confirmed my appointment was when *I* thought it was and that just made her more mad. The doctor came to see me immediately and told the nurse I didn't have to do the monitoring etc which made her madder.. lol revenge. He and I were joking with each other, dealt with business and after the nurse took my blood pressure (which was a tad high for obvious reasons) and then in a last ditch effort to delay took it again, I seriously believe she wanted the doctor to make me stay until it went normal or keep me for observation. Needless to say, the doctor let me go.. all in 6 minutes! Ha! Take that stupid nurse. So I waddled as fast as one can through a hospital and to the parking garage. I drove like a mad woman on a mission, I was the last minute merge queen, making all my lights and jumping the line when the road D-filed. Got home exactly when I wanted to only to find DH had given up on me returning and was now expecting a drive in to school. ACK!!!! Very frustrating day to say the least.

 

[LittleStars]

Thanksgiving is going to be interesting for me.. It's much earlier in Canada normally and particularly early this year.. It's the weekend that I'm scheduled for surgery. I am hoping to go to my mom's house for dinner on the Monday that I get out. I literally told her I was going to come over to eat and then run. She is good with that. It'll probably be the first chance my grandmother will get to see the twins and possibly same with my borther and SIL. If I get the good medications it should be fine for a few hours. Besides, I might leave DD at my parents until we come for dinner anyway so we'd have to go pick her up regardless.

 

[zb5]

Oh my gosh, Littlestars, that Thanksgiving sounds craaazy!!! I think I'd go straight home and ask your family to drop off your DD and dinner for you!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Wow littlestars.....what a day at the office. cocky nurse! Also I second what ZB said about Thanksgiving.

Thanks ladies for your input on Christmas. We'll talk about it tonight and come to a decision.

 

[Kristin83]

I'll do a better birth story later but over all everything went really great! Small incision so there shouldnt be an issue with healing and the doctors were very happy overall Both boys latched on right away about an hour after the c-sec and are eating every 3 hours for 30 minutes each time!


So here are pics of each one....i'll add more once I'm home. They were born at 8:11amd and 8:12am

Here is Connor Soren. He was 6lbs10oz and 19" long!
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a155/Kristin070404/facebook_1975151397jpg.jpg

And here is Liam Henry. He was 6lbs even and 20" long.
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a155/Kristin070404/facebook_2050581318jpg.jpg

 

[yourstruly10]

Kristin83- I posted in your journal but thought I should here too. CONGRATS! They are so handsome and such a great size for their gestation and being twins. So happy for you and glad your all doing well.

 

[zb5]

Congrats Kristin!! What healthy weights and so glad they're latching on already. You must be so happy! Hope you're recovering well!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

OOOOOOoooh....What cutie patooties! Congrats! You've given me a sense of peace with the possible c-section and also about the milk coming in and being able to feed them an hour afterwards. I've heard stories where having c-sections can cause your milk not to come in for days and also that you don't attach well with baby afterwards. Sounds like your doing just fine and that while it "may" happen...it doesn't have to be that way. Now I can rest my mind at ease.

Thanks for sharing your story. What a blessing they are!

 

[x-TyMa-x]

Huge congratulations kristin, they are adorable and great weights!!
You must be very proud xx

 

[shelleney]

Aww Kristin! Your boys are beautiful! And Connor has such a lovely chubby face! What brilliant weights they are. Well done you!! Cant wait to read your birth story
xx

 

[shelleney]

Who says Brits can't cook??

I dont know? who does say that?

I have loved hearing about all your different plans for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I hope you all have a wonderful family Christmas with your new arrivals (preferably stress-free!)
xx