October Pumpkins 2016 [47 Pumpkins - 3 Boys, 2 Girls]

[Blessedbaby]

that's good Ajarvis ... hope you get a scan soon

I don't like it when this group is so quiet LOL

Im so happy its Friday my tired is tired...

I need to go clothes shopping soon nothing fits

 

[KatO79]

Glad your appointment went fine ajarvis

Blessed I hear you there, my pants are a bit snug so bought some pants with a stretchy waist I really wanted a pair in denim since that's what I wear a lot but they only had a tan pair of pants where I went so just bought those.

 

[c beary83]

I'm an olive today!

Sickness is here in full force

 

[Blessedbaby]

sorry c beary

im not feeling well emotionally today all due to my toxic brother that just demands and demands us to have money for him (he is unemployed) and this is obviously causing problems in my marriage ...

I wish I could just rather sleep the weekend away ... was so excited for it now I don't feel like enjoying it

 

[KatO79]

Sorry you're feeling so sick c beary I seem to get MS in waves that come and go.

Blessed I wouldn't give him any money, especially if he's being abusive! I have full sympathy for unemployed having been one after each education I took (am now a housewife since the academic job market in this country is impossible if you don't have connections). However you are in no way obligated to support him and definitely not when he's being emotionally abusive and demanding money. Just say you can't afford to give him (any more) money and he'll have to figure something else out. If he gets mad and won't speak to you afterwards, oh well, you're not responsible for his feelings or reactions.

 

[MissCassie]

Im 10 weeks tomorrow and completely freaking out! I misscarried at 10 weeks last time.. any little cramp i get makes me worry! Ah first tri.. such a scary place to be..

2 more weeks and i can start to worry less hopefully

 

[ClandestineTX]

@Ajarvis: congrats on a good appointment! I hope you don't have to wait too long for a scan.

@Blessed: I agree with Kat, sometimes "no" is the biggest favor you can do for someone. Especially if he's toxic to your life! My brother, who I love dearly and is usually a great guy, lived with Hubster and I for awhile and was a little douchey sometimes - I honestly let Hubster tell him what was good, to break away from the little sister role. It worked, even if it was a cop out.

@Kat... I feel like every time you post there's a new thing we have in common. I'm in the US academic market, currently a postdoc in biological/ medical science. What's your field? (PS heartbroken about the prospects in Denmark, I grew up in Germany and dream of going back to north/central Europe sooner than later.)

@MissCassie: I hear ya on the fear. My scan was four weeks ago, yesterday, and my next appointment is Monday. I'm a bigger girl and it will only be 10w3d, so I'm pretty sure they won't find a heartbeat and I'm already dreading the wait between that and a scan. I was totally chill until this past Monday and now, daily, I have to rationalize away my abject panic as my only other pregnancy lasted a total of 9 weeks and change, including the parts where we knew it had failed. Does it really get less stressful in the second trimester???

@

 

[KatO79]

@Kat... I feel like every time you post there's a new thing we have in common. I'm in the US academic market, currently a postdoc in biological/ medical science. What's your field? (PS heartbroken about the prospects in Denmark, I grew up in Germany and dream of going back to north/central Europe sooner than later.)

I have a Masters Degree in Biotechnological Engineering (from February 2007) and a Laboratory Technician Degree (from June/July 2011). Could never get a job with any of them. Seems if you lack connections in the biotech world in this country then you're pretty much screwed Once you're unemployed in that situation, they want you even less. And once you've been unemployed for 1 year of more, you can pretty much forget getting a job at all. I've always been told it's because I "lack experience" as well but how in the world do I get experience when none of them will hire me??!! I even applied for plenty of laboratory assistant jobs but nope, I'm suddenly "over qualified" because I have my 2 degrees. Problem is you can't even get a more menial job once you have an academic degree here, then you're suddenly "over qualified" and stores and supermarkets and the like don't want you either I tried a few times and that's pretty much what I was told. My whole connections issue is also due to my mother being such a narcissist that she could never hold on to any friends and she hadn't lived here for 30+ years before thet so didn't have contact with any old friends plus we moved here when I was 16 so don't have the benefit of having a network built in. My whole problem getting a job also delayed us TTCing since I wanted to get a job first but ended up saying "f*** this!" in October 2013, dropped applying and started TTCing (which ended up being a 2 year project). I'm soon 37 so have dropped the idea of getting anything almost entirely and looking to get volunteer work at an animal shelter once our child can start in kindergarten. Luckily DH makes enough so he can support both me and 1 child but I do feel bad sometimes about it even though I know I applied to super many jobs and did all that I could

So sorry you're in almost the same boat, I know how much it stinks to study all those years to be told they don't want you

 

[ClandestineTX]

I think if you lack connections in any industry in any part of the industrialized world, it's hard to find work these days. There's a biotech masters program where I work, I'm not involved with it, but I know they require internships to give students experience before they graduate.

I have temporarily trapped myself, due to the pregnancy. It's my second year as a postdoc, academic hiring starts each fall for the subsequent year. I won't apply for any fall 2016 jobs, because I wouldn't be able to complete the semester before needing to take leave. More than likely I will use maternity leave to apply for fall 2017 jobs. Thankfully, while there are some work culture issues, I'm mostly happy and treated well where I work now and I've been here over a year, so fully eligible for maternity leave benefits, which not everyone has in the US. Also, I do some necessary work - so even though a postdoc isn't really a permanent position, I have tremendous job security even if it's not the best job I've had in my life.

Are you able to omit the information about your advanced degrees when applying for other jobs? I had less than glamorous jobs between high school and my BA and my BA and MA and just didn't mention it before I was hired. I think the idea of being overqualified is absurd. Honestly, I've been working on some side projects - hope to finish this year with a programming certification, in case I get too frustrated with academia.

And I'll soon be 35! Delayed marriage and childbirth due to school. Was originally going to wait until I finished my PhD, but it was taking forever, large bits of it out of my control. So we just did it. We both finished school in 2014, but have been trying since 2012. It's still not the ideal time, but for a woman in science - there isn't one.

 

[KatO79]

Are you able to omit the information about your advanced degrees when applying for other jobs? I had less than glamorous jobs between high school and my BA and my BA and MA and just didn't mention it before I was hired. I think the idea of being overqualified is absurd. Honestly, I've been working on some side projects - hope to finish this year with a programming certification, in case I get too frustrated with academia.

And I'll soon be 35! Delayed marriage and childbirth due to school. Was originally going to wait until I finished my PhD, but it was taking forever, large bits of it out of my control. So we just did it. We both finished school in 2014, but have been trying since 2012. It's still not the ideal time, but for a woman in science - there isn't one.

Unfortunately that would leave me only up to Gymnasium (the equivalent of High School) and I would have to explain what I was doing all those years because it will look like I've been doing nothing. Due to my less than stellar self-worth 8which is on the mend since I have all but gone no contact with my toxic siblings and have emotionally disengaged from my toxic mother), I never applied for any jobs while studying or in Gymnasium, kinda wish I had now. My toxic mother also didn't want me to since she claimed it'd be better for me to finish my educations as quickly as possible and a side job would hinder that. So yeah omitting stuff from my resume would make things much, much worse! And I can't avoid them asking for a resume, they do that for all job types here. It is a bad excuse but many places here use it as an excuse not to hire academics. They claim that an academic isn't reliable work in "menail" jobs because as soon as they're offered a job in their field, they'll leave. I know supermarkets get plenty of applicants so they can easily filter out all the academics and still have plenty to choose from. Plus I've also tried companies directly telling me they don't want the bother of training me so go only for people with experience in the field.

No I can see the problem. I think that's been another concern from the employers here, when I was going to have a kid and go on maternity leave! They see it as a pain since most women take 1 year off total and they have to pay both the woman on maternity plus find someone else and pay them to do her job while she's gone. I honestly think I'd have had an easier time finding something if I was a man! There are also some that say that some employers don't want to hire people not born in Denmark because they feel that having their employees having grown up in the "same culture" makes for a more smooth interaction which is just BS! I'm born in the US so since I came here at age 16, that leaves me out! I consider myself pretty easy to get along with so it's just annoying they use that excuse as well although no one has openly declared it to me.

So yeah, the whole job situation here is pretty impossible. It's really an "old boy's club" where they hire people that have connections in place at the company. All you need is a family member or close family friend and you're pretty much hired. Everyone else: nope they won't take a chance on you if you have no one to vouch for your skills and work ethics if you're newly eductated

I hope you have a much easier time than me once you're finished

 

[Lost7]

I haven't been sick today.

 

[c beary83]

I haven't actually been sick but have all day nausea and extreme tiredness. Sorry you've been sick lost but hopefully seeing the light at the end of the tunnel? It's supposed to get better from 9/10 weeks isn't it - when the placenta takes over???

 

[KatO79]

I've read that the placenta takes over during week 12 but maybe it starts a bit during week 9-10?

 

[c beary83]

Yeah I think that's it Kat - I was being a bit optimistic

 

[Lost7]

As far as I'm aware the Placenta takes over between Week 10-11. It certainly accounts for why the sickness as definitely eased a little.

Haven't been sick at all today either - woo woo!

 

[MissCassie]

I was out to dinner with my partner and his family for his birthday, and everything that i ate came back up at the restaurant i only just made it to the bathroom in time.

I hope i stop feeling sick soon it would be fabulous.

 

[ajarvis]

Glad your appointment went fine ajarvis

Blessed I hear you there, my pants are a bit snug so bought some pants with a stretchy waist I really wanted a pair in denim since that's what I wear a lot but they only had a tan pair of pants where I went so just bought those.

Thanks! On the pants side I have some early maternity pants that are side panel stretchy, but one pair still always fall down. So really I have one pair of comfortable pants now lol.

sorry c beary

im not feeling well emotionally today all due to my toxic brother that just demands and demands us to have money for him (he is unemployed) and this is obviously causing problems in my marriage ...

I wish I could just rather sleep the weekend away ... was so excited for it now I don't feel like enjoying it

Put the brother on ignore and enjoy your weekend! Not fair of him at all!

Im 10 weeks tomorrow and completely freaking out! I misscarried at 10 weeks last time.. any little cramp i get makes me worry! Ah first tri.. such a scary place to be..

2 more weeks and i can start to worry less hopefully

I know the feeling 9 weeks 5 days was hard. But it's been getting easier the more we got past that date. Now to get past 12 weeks - which is when my miscarriage was confirmed. Baby stopped growing at 9 weeks and I had spotting at 9 weeks 5 days. It's amazing how those dates get burned into your brain!

I haven't been sick today.

Woohoo!!

As far as I'm aware the Placenta takes over between Week 10-11. It certainly accounts for why the sickness as definitely eased a little.

Haven't been sick at all today either - woo woo!

I've heard anything from 9-12 weeks. Probably subjective for each person!

I'm 11 weeks now and nausea is getting better. Tiredness is getting better. Nipples don't really hurt anymore. So hoping that's what it is! I never was so sick with any pregnancy that I was completely miserable and couldn't function luckily. This is my last one so I want to enjoy it!

I have an ultrasound Monday at 3. When my midwife said she was going to get me some reassurance asap she was serious lol. That was a quick turn around. So I'll know soon enough. Still no spotting cramping etc. so should be good and I hope a good picture!

 

[ClandestineTX]

I'm so glad they are attentive to your circumstances, ajarvis. FX for a great scan tomorrow!

 

[ashknowsbest]

Looks like everyone is progressing nicely!

I still have no morning sickness which is freaking me out but I'm trying to stay calm. I have my 8.5 week ultrasound on Wednesday and I'm very nervous. I wish it was tomorrow.

 

[KatO79]

Glad your appointment went fine ajarvis

Blessed I hear you there, my pants are a bit snug so bought some pants with a stretchy waist I really wanted a pair in denim since that's what I wear a lot but they only had a tan pair of pants where I went so just bought those.

Thanks! On the pants side I have some early maternity pants that are side panel stretchy, but one pair still always fall down. So really I have one pair of comfortable pants now lol.

Oh that's the kind of pants I was hoping to find but they didn't have any DH isn't much for investing too much on clothes until I get big enough to need maternity stuff so will have to make do

Looks like everyone is progressing nicely!

I still have no morning sickness which is freaking me out but I'm trying to stay calm. I have my 8.5 week ultrasound on Wednesday and I'm very nervous. I wish it was tomorrow.

Maybe you're just really lucky ash FXed your u/s shows 2 great looking babies in there

AFM nothing going on until I see my GP on Thursday. So glad DH is coming with! We'll be getting the results of my blood tests and hopefully will find out when my next u/s is and where.

On a more personal note, my DH and I argued because we were discussing how my toxic siblings have been ignoring me and if I was going to let them know I'm pregnant after the next u/s, providing everything looks good. I told him I'd rather avoid it and didn't see why they should know since they abandoned me while I was going through infertility and treated me like crap when there was contact. He then said something like "With family you accept a bit more than you do with friends." I saw red and told him if he really felt that all the condescending remarks and put downs (especially from my brother) plus passive aggressive behavior was really something I should accept because my siblings refuse to let me set boundaries? He backtracked and said it wasn't what he meant and got a bit insulted. Uggh sometimes it frustrates me that he doesn't completely get it since he comes from a loving, healthy family and I grew up in crazy dysfunction