ok so who wants to get pregnant in 2011? (closed group)

[nypage1981]

wow, teeth already! Thats impressive, I thought Kian was but I can't see anything so probably not. Good thing you're not breast feeding, lol. I am terrified of what happens then, but think i've got some time to wait.

 

[MummyCat]

no teeth yet hun... but I can see them under the gums. may still be months!

I have experience of teething and BFing, only that babies mostly don't bite you

 

[babyhopes2323]

agree with the others on your sig nikki, lovin it. xx your avatar is really cute too x

gemma has started but not quite yet, she drools a lot and cries at times, as though she is in pain, ive bought teething gels and tried them but she dosent like it.. x

huggles, logans pic is so cute on your avatar, didnt realise you were on fb ?

hope all of you are doing ok, mummy love that pic of lizzie and lottie together xx

 

[MummyCat]

Thanks honey! Have you tried the powders?? Sometimes I found if the gels didn't work, the powders would.

 

[flyingduster]

speaking of teeth... Caleb just cut his first one through today!!! Fully wasn't prepared for that; I knew his teeth were moving at times with his cheek getting flushed, but he's always had white-ish areas on his gums so was looking for anything new, and hadn't noticed anything change.... until he was munching on my finger this afternoon and OUCH, there is a really sharp spike of tooth already through!!!! It's a bottom one though, which thankfully won't be a problem with breast feeding! It's when the top ones come in that it can rub, especially when they're super sharp as they first come out!


Love the avatar and sig too ny! I got blasted for being proud of still breast feeding the other day; nothing more! I have nothing against those who bottle feed, but the double standards of being 'allowed' to dis breast feeders but not bottle feeders does irk me. I'm proud of BFing, but it does NOT mean I have anything against those who haven't been able to, but nope, being proud is apparently being superior???? *sigh*
I will have to re-build my sig after I've shaved my hair, I might have to do something similar!! lol.

Caleb eats the edge of the wrap too! It ends up with a big soggy semi-circle... lol!


Not long until your midwife appointment now Sarah! I hope you're feeling better...

 

[MummyCat]

It's Wednesday here... so one more sleep till Sarah's appt

Amy that's awesome news about the tooth! Great that it didn't come through with much fuss, some kids get fevers and all sorts!

Argh.... this is what winds me up about this forum!!! Here's where I stand... If I had managed to breastfeed, I would be proud of that achievement! I may or may not have put a breastfeeding milestone blinkie up... but it's irrelevant because my attitude to breast feeders or bottle feeders would be the same. It's a means to feed your child and does not make me better or worse a mother than the next person!

Amy, you have never made me feel like you're superior to me...so not sure what the issue is with this other person... perhaps it's just that she really wanted to BF and seeing you and how well you're doing and how GORGEOUS your little man is, she got upset and took it out on you (Not that I think that's okay either!!!)

Anyway... this group has been wonderful at being completely accepting of us all in whatever form we come... BF'ers or not! So thank you all!!! It's a nice place to come and chat!

 

[nypage1981]

Where did that happen Amy? On here?

Mummy, exactly. I feel that about cloth diapering too. It doesn't make me better because I do it, its a way of dealing with my baby's poop! Not a way that im a better parent! Cloth diaper ladies do kind of get a superiority thing going on. I have not noticed on BNB exactly, but for sure noticed it on my cloth diapering forum. Some women went postal on a thread about disposables that a girl posted. Like, really??? You are all that much better, come on! Women who use disposable diapers are NOT the devil! Sheesh.

I just wanted to be clear to all that im ok if everyone doesn't do things the "natural" way. Its not a better way of parenting to decide to put cloth on a baby's butt, its just how we feel like dealing with poop. There is such a thing as natural living in general, but not many follow that fully, so I think its kind of strange to put a label on a woman who uses cloth and breast feeds... Yes, cloth is better for the environment, but I don't think that makes someone "natural" Unless the entire lifestyle is natural living... I think it makes someone a little more frugal and maybe "crunchy" but not natural! Recycling, using no scents or chemicals, growing your own food, bathing in a bucket, wearing leaves as clothing, sleeping in dirt, using no electricity, having no cars, no cell phones, no tv. Lol. This stuff makes you au natural! That being said, I do follow the "natural parenting" threads on here because I do find it fun to talk about cloth diapers and babywearing and all that jazz but don't really want the natural parenting label on myself. Personal preference.

I also hate the reverse though too as you said happened to you Amy. That was the main reason I added it into my ticker, to just be clear to others who do not do things my way that im not trying to be above them, or be on the other side of a thick line. And if I give knowledge and advice, its not me trying to be superior. I hate when someone on here thinks its trying to be superior just to give some advice and information about breast feeding.. If no one ever gave me information about things on here, I wouldn't have known half what I do now!

So, thats my piece about the war between those who "cloth diaper, breast feed, co sleep (which I canNOT bring myself to do), and babywear" and those who dont! . Lol. I lovvvvve this thread that there is a mixture of moms who do things differently and we do not have any sort of war in here. Its what has proven to me that it can exist if both sides of it all stop thinking its some stupid competition!

 

[MummyCat]

*claps hands enthusiastically*

You said it sister... that's how I feel... but roles reversed on cloth diapers and breast feeding etc etc..

I'm actually pro both those things.. just so happens my hubby wont entertain the CD idea and breastfeeding didn't work for us! doesn't make me disagree that it's a nice way of parenting....

Just wish more women though like that... most are very very defensive.. when I see no need to be!!

Glad we all enjoy each others company without judging or being critical. I feel I can ask a question in here without someone 'going postal'?? I think that's an awesome saying! hahaha

 

[nypage1981]

lol. its a phrase in the states because apparently postal workers can go psycho??? no idea.

 

[NDH]

So true. I do hate how so many cloth using babywearing moms get this kind of superiority complex. I will akways encourage women to try both if they first mention it or seem at all interested (both are quite daunting when first looked at and i'm happy to share what ive learned) but i could never hold using disposables against anyone! Thats just silly. It does irk me though when those who have never used clotg try to talk someone who is interested out of it. My babywearing group is great but there can be so much finger pointing even amongst babywearers that i often stay away from babywearing forums. Some of them will go up to a total stranger wearing their baby ib a Bjorn style carrier and tell them off! Or at least contemplate it! My chiropractor says theyer not as bad as claimed and even if they were so what? I think the biggest 'problem' with the bjorn is it isnt as comfortable for the wearer. So what? If someone wearing one says their back hurts then casually mention there are more comfortable carriers oyt there would be ok cause,thats helpful not judgemental (id want to know). My group all started out with bjorns and still have them they just dont use them for comfort. Same with bfing. I will encourage everyone to try it and continue as long as they are able and seek support if they struggle, but could never consider myself superior to anyone who doesnt bf for any reason. We're all feeding our children here. Though am i allowed to be horrified at the family my GP told me about who weaned their 4 month old strIght onto KFC?!

 

[MummyCat]

KFC????? we don't even eat that in our household!! Let alone consider weaning a child onto it!

You have a brilliant approach hun! It's nice to hear it!

Sarah.... I'm soon going to bed to sleep away Wednesday... so excited for your appt tomorrow! Hope you are feeling okay honey!! xxx

 

[sarahincanada]

thanks mummy for thinking about me

I have a lot to learn about baby wearing etc! but I can imagine how people are on both sides of all the issues you have discussed. I try not to judge people on anyway they live their life, as Im sure people do their best. and there will always been people that you think huh??!! like my sister allows my 12 yr old neice to drink coke...for the longest time she was drinking the diet as they thought it was better until I told them about aspertame. so they switched to the regular stuff but I think its too much (its actually my favourite drink too but I know its pretty bad for you). I realize its hard and you dont really want to teach 'good' and 'bad' foods too much (dont want disordered eating) but all that sugar cant be good for her. she is stick thin (genetically, my sister takes after my stick thin dad) so its not effecting her weight. (pop is a big cause of obesity here in north america). but its their life so I dont say anything.

I must ask, why would people not breast feed? I understand some people cant (my mother and sister ended up giving up, Im assuming they didnt have the support to guide them)....so is it people try and cant do it, or people just never try? I never really understood why someone wouldnt at least try so Im very interested in hearing the reasons as they must be things Ive never thought it. I agree this thread is great as we can discuss our views without any bs.

i dont have baby things to relate to, but as an example I grew up on canned foods or just meat and potatoes (mum wasnt much of a cook and worked most evenings) but my mother in law has always made things from scratch, quite elaborate things too, passed on from mother to daughter. she has infuriated me the way she talks down about people who dont make their own food etc and Ive said a few things to her, to try and make her understand that not every family knows how to cook, and sometimes its a money thing or just simply have never been taught the knowledge. funnily enough hubbies sister is marrying into a family where the mum isnt much of a cook either, and she brought round a dish that was pretty awful tasting. MIL had the cheek to mention it, and so I said to her 'i grew up on canned things too' just to make her feel bad. Im sure she doesnt mean to seem superior but I dont think she can understand how some families havent grown up like she has. Because my mum didnt really cook much I never learnt and am just as bad. but luckily Im the breadwinner of the family so they cant say much!

yes midwife apt for me tomorrow, not sure if it will be too exciting but I hope she can book my 12 week scan. Anxious to know if bub is still alive and strong, still been sick and taking my medication so I hope that means its ok. the wait is so hard.

my finger is healing but very painful. its horrible that the best way for it to heal is to literally let it stay as an open 'stump' and let the skin gradually grow over it. I go for dressings every other day and its horrible as some of the dressing always sticks to the wound and it hurts when they pull it off. I have good days and bad days, some days feeling sorry for myself, why did it have to happen, especially when pregnant etc. etc. I havent been able to look at it yet. Hubby took a photo during one of the dressing apts and I saw a thumbnail of it and almost passed out, so I dont think I will be looking at it for quite some time. Dr said I might still need surgery if the nerves are too near the top or if the skin is too thin. urghhh. I need to grieve the fact I have this finger deformity now, I will feel much better once its more 'closed.' I almost faint at every doctors apt, and have cried at many too. Im over the worst though hopefully.

dog seems to be healing, we are keeping her separated at all times now. the other 2 dogs have been very quiet, I hope they realize what they did but not sure if they are that smart. I sleep with the older dog and hubby with the other two!

well thats it for my update, I havent been posting much as so tired and faint but I have been reading

 

[NDH]

Ive seen toddlers running around with bottles full of coke too 12 isnt quite as bad.

Sarah, it sounds like an incredubly slow, painful healing process you'll have to be so careful not to bump your hand with the raw nerve endings. Im glad your dog is healing well. I hope the mw tomirrow gives you a scan date!

Ive not worked out why some women go straight to formula without at least trying to bf. I know someone who thinks its "icky". I think perhaps breasts have become so sexualised some women cant use them for their designed purpose. Sometimes its due to abuse. Often its just because no one thet knows breastfeeds and they themselves werent so they dont even have support from their mother. I wush everyone would at least try though, but there does need to be better support for those who want to continue but struggle.

 

[MummyCat]

Bless you for popping on!

With regards to breastfeeding. I think some people can feel quite odd about breastfeeding. Some women see their breast as a sexual thing and can't get comfortable with the thought of a baby feeding from them. I can see where they can feel that way. We're told it's the most natural thing in the world... well it is and it isn't. Yes we're designed to make milk etc but it is not easy. It doesn't often come easily! So in that way I think I was a bit mislead in thinking I would be a great breastfeeder when I was pregnant with Lottie.

My NCT friend had such a nightmare feeding her eldest (was contemplating throwing herself down the stairs while holding the baby she was THAT sleep deprived... COMPLETELY NOT herself) the Dr asked if she was okay at the 6 week check, she burst into tears, told the Dr and Dr said... give him a bottle NOW! She felt so traumatised by the whole thing that when her little girl arrived in August this year, she could bring herself to even try, she felt sick to her stomach to think about feeding the baby as it brought back all the awfulness that she experienced with her first.

It's sad... as it's a brilliant form of feeding your baby, just wish it was easier for everyone!

Regarding food... I like to prepare stuff at home. I wouldn't say I'm a genius in the kitchen, but hubby and Lottie like my food.. so that's good! My mother always cooked very bland dishes, my father loved to experiment with flavour and spices so I'm pleased I got his enthusiasm for cooking! Sad that your MIL looks down on people who haven't had the opportunity to learn like she did.

Your poor finger!! I really do hope it heals quickly! It must be so hard to get your head around!

Hope tomorrow goes well sweetie!!

 

[sarahincanada]

was just googling 'chances of miscarriage after hearing heartbeat'. drives my hubby crazy! I dont know how many people have MC's after seeing a heartbeat but I know its much lower. And would people usually have bleeding or can a lot be missed. I just cant help but wonder if they wont find anything, this wait is so awful. the finger thing has overidden everything so the pregnancy feels kinda surreal, kinda unbelievable now, where before it was all I thought about. well hubby is on his way home with food from my favourite italian restaurant, cant wait! im taking the prescribed nausea meds and have more of an appetite this week.

 

[NDH]

Sara it's totally normal to feel that way about the scan. I know that at my 12 week scan I was so worked up about it too and I was certain they wouldn't see anything. Sometimes I thought I'd dreamed it all and they'd tell me I was never pregnant at all and other times I thought there would just be no heartbeat and I'd had a mmc... But I didn't of course. It's normal to be paranoid about it though. Especially on this forum it makes things like mc and mmc seem far more common than they really are (true mcs are quite common, but mot of them are before a normal person not TTC would even begin to suspect they were pregnant but mmcs are not very common at all) and as we see them everywhere we go on here it's easy to expect it will happen to us too.

But I have a feeling you have a strong, healthy bean in there

 

[flyingduster]

Ohhh Sarah, I can't imagine the mind games your emotions must be playing on you right now; soooooo much happening all at once! Just being pregnant is huge, or just loosing the tip of your finger is huge too, but both at once!?? You are doing amazingly hun, you might not feel like it now, but you are being soooooo strong and doing sooo well!! You will be an incredible mamma!!! I firmly believe things happen for a reason. Be it 'god' or 'fate' or 'karma' or whatever; things happen for a reason. So as damn hard as this is with your finger dramas on top of being newly pregnant, there IS a reason for it all to be happening now, how it is, rather than at different timing!!!



It wasn't on here I got blasted ny, it was on a facebook group. Although I've tread on some toes here recently too...

I think my problem is that I research things to death, so tend to spout off a lot of info about stuff I feel strongly about (and therefore have researched a lot of), and that can come off as being 'high and mighty'? I never mean to be, but I dunno, I think some people are scared of information, in case they find out they're "wrong" (though IMO there IS no 'right' or 'wrong' way to parent!!!) and then feel guilty...???? As far as I'm concerned though; NO ONE, but yourself, can make you feel guilty. So do your research and/or own your own beliefs and decisions without taking offence at everyone else who is different or blaming others for causing you to feel guilty! (I mean a generic 'you', not a specific 'you'!)

I have some strong ideas about parenting, and do follow a lot of the 'natural' or 'attachment' parenting ideals, but I spend a lot of time with more 'mainstream' parents without an issue, cos as far as I'm concerned there IS no issue; we ALL love our kids!!!!!!!



And as for breast feeding, I know one of the ladies in my antenatal group was led to believe that due to her very inverted nipples, she wouldn't be able to breastfeed. As a result she never tried and has bottle fed from the start. (turns out that with support and hard work she probably could have... but that's me researching again so I haven't gone there with her cos she's happy with her choice!) I'm sure there are other physical reasons why someone wouldn't breast feed (a friend of a friend is getting breast reduction surgery, and it is quite possible that as a result she won't be able to breast feed. I also know of mastectomy mums who can't breast feed for obvious reasons!!!) and then there's the emotional reasons; abuse or personal beliefs; real or imagined!!! And then there's those who tried with their first bub, and had nothing but trouble, so decide to not even try with their next ones and go straight to a bottle. Often that is from a lack of proper support or knowledge though too (ie the 6 week mark when soooooooooo many women think their supply has 'gone' due to a hungry crying baby [growth spurt] and soft 'empty' boobs [your supply has regulated] when with the knowledge that it's NORMAL for that to happen, women can push through it and continue fine... Without that knowledge though, most resort to a bottle to fill up bub, which in turn damages the supply/demand process and then you DO start to loose your supply.....!)

basically there are dozens of reasons why women do and don't breast feed, and it is an 'each to their own' thing really; I'd never judge someone for bottle feeding off the bat just because I've never given Caleb a bottle in his whole life! BUT at the same time I don't want to be judged for being proud of never having given Caleb a bottle... *sigh*


Anyway, like I said, we all ADORE our kids, so in the end that is the main thing; we all want to do the best for us and our kids, and that'll be different for everyone!

 

[nypage1981]

I thank almost every day that I found this forum because this has been the support I needed to get through breat feeding issues. I "tried" with Ella and by the 2nd night had given up. I wasn't seen by a lactation nurse until leaving the hospital on day 4. By then I knew I didn't want to do it. So this time I gave myself an open fair chance to try, and paired with a much stronger will and this forum, I got through a lot of horrible times. I can't say that if I have another baby that I will look forward to the 1st 3 months, but I can say I will breast feed without a doubt. I also saw breast feeding as kind of gross though too before I actually got into it. Now I love it.

Sarah I cant wait for your scan. Any way you could explain the worry and the situation and they give you a scan tomorrow/this week? I got a few early scans due to issues so after the trauma you would think they could just give you one for reassurance. Also, at my docs they heard the heart beat by doppler in the room on top of my tummy at 10 weeks. Surely they would do the doppler tomorrow?

 

[Huggles]

Good luck with your appointment today Sarah.

 

[babyhopes2323]

i never talk about these subjects for the fear of everyone going nuts, especially on this website. our thread seems more normal and calm in comparison to some of the nightmare threads ive seen on here.

nikki, i can only applaud you, as you have spoken for all of us and i completely believe in each to their own.. i dont believe that breastfed, clothwearing babies grow up to be special and that the babies doing it the otherway round grow up to be useless, with less of this and that and all that jazz. i think well nothing more can be said other than each to their own. I honestly think, well done to mummies who have managed to breastfeed their babies the whole while, it takes a lot. and i appreciate them. i have never really heard of cloth diaper wearing until i came on here, and to me, so not going to comment on that, i know its recyclable and all that, but its probably not practical to many other mums out there.

i couldnt breastfeed, as she was premature, i tried and tried and had help from the lactation consultant, but since she was feeding from tubes and bottles in the nicu, she wouldnt latch and wouldnt suck, the poor thing would lose her energy from sucking on my breast and i was told to mainly quit because with breastmilk, she was not gaining weight. breast milk is thinner than formula milk and i was prescribes special formula that adheres to premature babies so i think my situation is different and she has gained excellent weight since being on the formula so no, i would not go back to breast milk as i would like her to be just as chunky and of healthy weight as other babies and im sure you understand where im coming from xxx in comparison, she still looks very thin and has not got much chunk on her.

im not going into cloth diapering, because unfortunately its not something i would be able to work with, and living here, ive not seen a single cloth nappy., absolutely every mum in dubai uses normal nappies and it just works for us x

but honestly good on ya mums who have managed to BF amongst other things, because it is not as easy as everyone puts it out to be.

i think university is the same.. apart from doctors and pilots, i dont really think everyone who studies to become something actually goes and does it.. most of them who have done their bachelors in business or whatever tend to drift into something else or to put it short, ive never seen anyone who actually goes off and does a job that relates to their degree.. (just my two cents)

sarah, im sorry you MIL feels that way about people, honestly i cant cook much, but that hasnt changed anything in our household, yes my hubby makes salad, i do cook following recipies and it works mostly for us, i cant do elaborate spreads, i cant bake bread but you know what, i honestly think its crazy for people who think everyone should be a super mum, cooking four course meals everyday and doing everything else on top, i just want to say those who expect that everyday from women, can just go *something* themselves lol..

yes i agree with the coke bit, i wouldnt allow my child to have coke very early, but the odd one at 12 or 13 is ok, i dont think you can avoid it that much as now a days it dosent work ?

i hope your finger heals soon, and that you dont feel sick anymore.

today is thursday and im praying for bubs and you are going to be well chuffed with your scan xxx