Okay, is it just me?!

[fuffyburra]

Am I the only person in the world who sees having children and being a SAHM as almost a "career choice"? Every single one of my friends has gone off to university, and they're all work oriented and career driven, and have big dreams and ambitions. My dream is to live with my OH, marry him, and then have beautiful children that I can stay at home with and look after. Whenever I say to people, even jokingly, that I'd love to be a housewife and a stay at home mum they always step in and lecture me and tell me I'd get bored and regret the decision to not have a career. I personally can't think of anything better!
OH doesn't mind, he loves to look after me as it is, and he says he'd be more than willing for me to stay at home with our babies because he understands that this is what I want from life, and he's extremely excited about having children too!
I know for a fact that my sister would stay at home with her little girl if she could, but I know she'd lecture me now that I'm too young and all that jazz. I guess I'd just like to know that there's someone else who feels the same, I'm starting to feel like a freak!
It won't change my mind o'course, but it'd still be nice to know
Thanks everyone if you got this far!! xx

 

[zoe6660]

i would also love to be a housewife lol and once the children (if i ever get there) grown up and in school ill start back in work it sounds nice and planned out lol

 

[kittylady]

I did make the career choice and am at uni but I can see where you are coming from. I've love to have a family myself and it's an erge I have fought for a long time. As long as you are happy with your choice go for it. If you get bored you could always pick up your career later on.

 

[Staceysparkle]

No your not alone hun I totally agree with you I would love to be a SAHM once me and H2B have children. Most of my friends went to Uni after leaving school and had big career ambitions but all I've ever wanted to do was get married and have children. My parents and H2B used to laugh at me and say I was being ridiculous and that in this day and age nobody can afford to be a housewife or SAHM but they are starting to be more understanding. If my H2B gets a better job and we can afford it once we have children hopefully I will be able to stay at home. Its good to see someone else with the same views

 

[fuffyburra]

Yeah I intend to work later on when the kids grow up a bit, maybe even go to uni or something. My best friend just started uni at 29, and my sister is about to at 40, so if I DO end up choosing to go to university it is possible.
Nothing appeals to me as much as being a SAHM. My mum was the same, far too maternal to bother kidding herself that she was interested in anything else
I know that I would be kidding myself, and if I realised there was something I wanted to do more than that I'd set about doing it tomorrow!!

 

[fuffyburra]

Thanks StaceySparkle! We'll be TTCing at around the same time, we could be TTC/SAHM buddies

 

[Staceysparkle]

Oooo so we will how exciting Hopefully the time will fly past for both of us!

 

[kittylady]

Then go for it, hold your head high and be proud that you made your decision and let no one else influence it because what other people may not have thought is what if you regret not being a SAHM.

 

[fuffyburra]

Thanks everyone It's really nice to know I can get support here, and not get lectured like I usually do! It means a lot xx

 

[kittylady]

NP I kind of feel the same because my friends at uni would lecture me if they knew I wanted to be a mum

 

[silverbell]

Definitely agree with you. As a child that grew up with her Mom around all the time (she worked nights when my Dad got home), I feel quite strongly about being around just as much for my kids and it does upset me to think I might not be able to do this for as long as I would hope (due to financial constraints - neither of us are in particularly well-paid jobs).

I am saving from May of this year towards a baby fund to help us when I'm off on leave and not being paid much.

The other side of the coin is that I actually really do love the job I'm currently in and despite not actually missing the job when I have a little baby to care about, I would be more worried about losing the security of that job to go back to, if that makes sense (probably not!) Jobs are scarce where we live and I've been lucky to get the job I've got.

In an ideal world though I'd just win the lottery and be a SAHM and totally love it.

 

[kittylady]

I think I'd be a SAHM if I won the lottery lol

 

[MinnieMoo.x]

I'd love to be a sahm! I think its such a great thing for both mum and kiddywinks My mym stayed home with me until I was 7, and I wish she was a sahm for much longer! However, I personally don't see it as a career choice, I still want to be a writer/journalist. I guess it's all about compromise at the end of the day.
xxx

 

[shocker]

Im exactly the same! I mean i'd work part time when they went to school but being a sahm/housewife is totally what i want to do aswell

 

[tweetylee]

Good, Im also not alone. Right know Im going to try to work an extra job so that after I get pregnant if not already then I too can be a stay at home mom and have my oh support me.

 

[fuffyburra]

Hooray I'm not alone!! I work in retail at the moment, which obviously isn't my chosen career path lol. If I had the job of my dreams or I had to work because of financial reasons (which I may have to when we have a baby, we're not 100% sure yet) I'd obviously work to find a balance. But as you say, if we won the lottery...
I do think people are too quick to lecture and/or have a go. My dream job has always been SAHM, my mum did it with myself and my twin sister until we were 7 too. Maybe there's a pattern?!
I think my friends think I'm just being lazy and taking the "easy option", but I don't see what's easy about having children! A day at work is probably more easy going XD Far less rewarding though. SAHM = job satisfaction!
Thanks everyone It feels SO good to know I'm not completely by myself!

 

[Bmary83]

Hi ya! Well I can totally see both sides o the arguments! When I was young all I wanted to do was the career thing then think bout having kids when I was older n a bit more financially secure! Growing up, we had abso no money! So now, I've done all that, I've sat all the exams to qualify at my chosen career, I've got letters after my name, tho at mo tho am in a temp job(with strong poss o being made perm) due to being made redundant! Now I've got where I thought I always wanted to be I'm now just thinking that I wish I could be a SAHM! I don't have any kids at the mo but am trying to persuade the OH to start TTC next year! I know that I will def have to go back to wrk as in my career having to be a break could poss to detrimental but i'm insistant I'm only going to go back 3 days per wk MAX! It seems it always a case of the grass being greener on the otherside!!!

 

[Dumpling]

I have absolutely no idea what I'll want to do, although I think I'll find it so hard to go back to work. I love my job & can't imagine giving it up completely, plus I'd need to retrain if out for any long period of time. I think I'd quite like to work 2-3 days a week, but it depends on our finances & I'd definitely want a at least a year off with my baby!

I think when I have more than one child I'd try to stay at home, although we'd be even poorer by then! My mum stayed at home with me til I was 7 & it was ace, but when she had my brother they were too skint so she had to go back to work & it sucked! Good job she was a teacher!

Don't be afraid to stick up for your life choices. Its your life & your the only one that needs to be happy with it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to nurture & be there for your children.

xxxx

 

[Amygdala]

I would love to the a SAHM for a while myself and hope to be at home for at least 2 years with our first. Having said that though, I've completed my education and have good job prospects. So I don't see it as a carreer choice at all, because I built my carreer before TTC. I never wanted to be "just" a SAHM (without having qualifications I mean) because I would have felt too dependent on my man. I love my DH with all my heart and am sure we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. But I wouldn't like the feeling that I HAVE TO stay with him because I have no other options financially.

 

[princess_bump]

tbh i feel very similar. i went to uni, and was highly career orientated, i knew what i wanted and did go for it, and when i was younger, i certainly never wanted to get married once i met james things changed, we met as i was starting my last year of my degree, which was great, i got my degree, got a good job and everything was great, but i knew i wanted to marry him, have a family and stay at home with my baby, now i'm doing just that! we have a mortgage and james works really hard, but so do i, probably harder, but i wouldn't change things for the world, being at home with my daughter is just what i've always wanted x