Old School POAS addicts - chat thread!

[LuvallmyH]

Hostile & angry are always a good sign for me

 

[Mrs. Eddie]

Oooh, two days until testing, very exciting Steph!

Amy, no testing yet, way too early

Kay, I totally get what you mean. Some people just get pregnant at the drop of a hat it seems. There are two pregnant girls at work and I'm trying not to be too jealous.

AFM, survived the first day of work and it was actually pretty good. Today was much easier already. Monday afternoon/night were awful as I was plagued with guilt over leaving her and had a couple of good crying fits Luckily, she did fine and she and my DH had a great day together. Now will just have to get through her transition to day care in a few weeks...

Oh, and I had weird brownish CM yesterday, so odd. Who know what my body is up to now???

 

[motherofboys]

You're still waiting for af aren't you? Maybe the brown was a sign she is getting ready to return. Just a little brown spotting for the first time round, possibly. My first AF after DS3 was like 1 day of pink spotting.

 

[LuvallmyH]

Same for me. I had brown spotting just before af started with a few of my kids.
I'm so glad the first day back was successful! That should really help your transition. Try not to feel too guilty, you are doing what is right for your family.

 

[treeroot]

Thanks for all the welcomes

I wouldn't mind it taking so long except I'm 30 and know it will get harder every year.
I'm super bummed tonight unfortunately and am having all those really low thoughts . Bah.

I wish I could comment on how everyone's doing but don't seem to have any experience to draw from!

There were two pregnant ladies at my work as well when I started TTC; now they're both on mat leave. I didn't really mind. One of them conceived easily (1st and 2nd), and the other was trying for a long time I think.

 

[steph.]

Amy if being angry is a good sign, I must have triplets in there! Today I got super angry queing at the coffee shop to get a cake and coffee because the people in front of me were placing a really complicated long order. I felt like storming out except I really wanted cake. Then when my dh got home from work in a really good mood I pounced on him because he had been putting the cereal back in the cupboard without closing it and leaving the yoghurt out of the fridge. I heard him telling Sophia that mummy was having monthly issues :-/

Emily yay for brown spotting! At least something is happening! Glad your first day back went well.

Treeroot sorry about the negative thoughts Hope they go away soon

 

[Mrs. Eddie]

Thanks Ladies for the feedback and support!

I'm really hoping that the brown spotting is AF returning, more of it today, so fx that things are happening!

Steph, when it's AF time for me I am normally super emotional and weepy, though I was really bad right before I got my BFP. I actually cried over something really stupid at work and was mortified I'm excited for you to test, (I'm living vicariously through you).

Treeroot, I know it's hard not to get down when you're in the midst of TTC madness. I was 31 when I got my BFP so don't let your age worry you too much

 

[steph.]

BFN Bleh I know its still early but now it's my turn to be having bad thoughts. I have a busy weekend ahead, my mum is arriving tomorrow from overseas, and on Sunday it's my nephew's birthday, so I will try to enjoy the weekend and not think too much about this pregnancy thing. Will hopefully make it through to Monday without testing.

 

[Mrs. Eddie]

Sounds like you will busy Steph, I'm sure that you will be so busy that you can wait until Monday!

Weird thing, last night I had tons of EWCM (sorry if that is TMI). I have also had more brown spotting. Crazy how cutting out one feed a day has made my body go so whacky!

 

[motherofboys]

I guess it's a good sign something is happening. With my first af after ds3 I didn't notice much cm but I wasn't really that aware of those things. With my first after ds4 I noticed loads. I thought I had Od around 10 days before (which was why this short lp threw me so much) then had tonnes of cm and thought maybe I was wrong and was now about to O then af turned up.
Treeroot, it is hard when you are stuck in the ttc world. I hope you won't have to wait too much longer.
Steph like you say it's still pretty early. Hopefully a busy weekend will take your mind off it and then when you test again it'll be the first bfp of this thread.
We had a bit of a disaster day yesterday. Went for a day out and it was one thing after another including the car having problems, although the boys were brilliant. I just started to wonder what it would be like to stop now. It was really freeing. To not have to think about cycles and ttc and age gaps and just concentrate on the boys. With ds3 off to school if have do much time to dedicate to ds4, and I'd be able to do things sooner rather than later if I didn't gave another, like going back to work, or taking them on a fantastic holiday.
But then I thought about what it would be like with another and I just couldn't call it a day yet.

 

[motherofboys]

Oh and I think af may be on the way. Wish I knew when I had Od if this is af

 

[Mrs. Eddie]

Interesting, I was talking to a few of my friends who are now finished having kids and they say you know when you are ready to be done, doesn't sound like you are quite there yet Kay!

 

[motherofboys]

I really hope that I get that 'done' feeling. I'd hate to have to say no more when I didn't feel my family was complete.

 

[LuvallmyH]

I really hope that I get that 'done' feeling. I'd hate to have to say no more when I didn't feel my family was complete.

I'm in the exact same boat.

 

[steph.]

Me too. I tried to think of how it would be with just the two, and how it would be a relief not having to go through pregnancy and the young baby phase again. But as much as it doesn't make sense to have a third, I just feel I have to. My sister has a 2 year old and a 3.5 year old and knew from when she was pregnant with her 2nd that he was her last. I hope I get the done feeling after the 3rd.

 

[motherofboys]

Obviously Amy has had more babies, over a longer period of time, and has a greater expense from having more, but its like I've spent 10 years of my life now just obsessing over wanting a baby, ttc, cycles, pregnancy, planning the next baby, is the age gap going to be right between them? And with it being the summer holidays and having days out, we don't even pay for the baby yet and a day out is so expensive.
I've never been on holiday out of the UK and I'd love to take the boys but its most likely a once in a life time thing as a whole family. I want them all to be old enough to remember and enjoy it. But I don't want it to be so far in the future that DS1 would find it far too uncool to go on holiday with his parents!
I'm trying to use my head about it but my heart (and womb) keep screaming at me that we are not done.

 

[steph.]

Wow 10 years is a long time, but when you are on your death bed, not having been on a holiday abroad won't be a big regret but if you stopped at 4 kids you may always wonder "what if...". Do you think you will have more than 5?

 

[steph.]

Also I saw this boy/girl split room and thought of you as you were saying if you had a girl she would be sharing with her brother. I think in a room like this they could share until their teens as they would still have their own space. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/210754457534315463/

 

[motherofboys]

wow that rooms cool. i like that idea.
I'm not sure about a 6th. DH said he'd be happy with another 2, I think it will all depend on how I feel after a 5th and maybe what gap there is and finances and so many other things. Its not completely ruled out though.

 

[LuvallmyH]

Kay, I can totally relate to everything you said. I am faced with another difficult pregnancy. I vomit for 2 months with every baby. That's almost impossible to do & take care of the family I have. I was almost unable to walk for the last 4 months of my pregnancy because my pelvis separated. That was the worst pain I have ever experienced! I know all of this will all happen again. We had a very big scare with the last that she was predicted to have downs until we had further testing. My older children would love to be done with babies. My dh would love to move on to the next phase in our lives - he's 54 and still changing diapers! It's hard enough to travel and do al the things we do with 9 & I want to add another?! I have spent the last 15 years ttc, charting, taking meds, going to fertility appointments, acupuncture, living my life by what cd I am on. Grieving for losses. The fear of a healthy pregnancy & baby. The stress, the stress, the stress! It's all I've know for so long.

And yet - what really changes? We are already doing the baby/kid thing. So we have 1 more. We have the room & financially we could do it. I watch the love that happens in my crazy house and it overwhelms me. There is something very special about having a large family. I see my dh get better and better after each child. Our normal is already so vastly different than everyone else's. My children would adapt. We would all adapt. I can not explain the longing I feel to be pregnant again, to hold and nurture another baby. I can not explain the love and completeness I feel from being a mother. It is just what feels right. I pray for the health and safety of my family every night, and I also pray that these feeling go away. They don't. I almost consumes me, the angst of having another child. And I don't mean in the ttc way, but if I should have another child.