'Older Mums' buddies thread!

[polaris]

Polaris - you must be really angry with that response. Its your baby and your birth and they have no right to "allow you" to go 14 days overdue, you choose. In fact the World Health Organisation define full term as between 37 and 42 weeks pregnant, so by their definition 42 weeks isnt even overdue! They should monitor you for sure (and I suspect that hadnt happened for the lady with the "poor outcome") but they dont need to intervene at that stage.
!

Thanks, yes I was absolutely raging, and also very upset because the last thing that I want is to have to be fighting with the team who are going to deliver my baby!! I had a chat with my mum about it today though, and she was saying that I should just try to put it out of my mind until the time comes as I don't know what the situation will be at that time, so I'm going to try to take that on board and not stress myself out too much at this stage. But basically I have decided that I will stay firm and not allow them to induce me unless there is a clear medical reason to do so, certainly not just because it is 'hospital policy'!

 

[ellie]

:grr I am raging for you!!! How rude and they have NO right to scare you like that. I'd complain and say it is causing you unecessary stress and worry!!!!
although in the meantime, your mum's probably right in saying you have to wait and see, but I'd feel like it would be best to get it cleared up not when you are at the stage when you have to fight if you know what I mean? Let's just hope LO arrives on time and you wont have to
this is when I really really hate health professionals .... they are such control freaks!!!! (as is the whole system!) whatever happened to informed choice and consent? I hate how they try to scare you to force you to do what they want. No wonder there's higher incidence of interventions during birth in hospitals ..... (sorry to barge in your rant!)

 

[avabear73]

I think this is one of the times when it's a benefit to be an older Mum ... when we know there is something we feel strongly about, we're more confident in saying so, and really push our point of view and wishes across. I'd hate to be young and pregnant because I think a lot of times you'd just get railroaded into doing whatever the medical establishment want. Once you get older you realise that doctors aren't always right, even when they think they are, but if you're 19 for example, you might still have that blind faith.

 

[soon2b6]

I think you're right Ava, when I was 22 and pregnant with my first, I was easily "bullied" into whatever the docs suggested, and any scare tactics usually worked, this time I have had the courage to say no to some stuff and look in a more balanced way at all interventions they have suggested.

 

[golcarlilly]

Polaris, my LO looked like a blob too - but he is my blob!!! Sorry to hear about your disagreement with the MW - at the end of the day they can't force you to be induced, it is your decision so try not to worry too much

Marleysgirl, you are so lucky getting so many scans it is FAB seeing them on screen and LDS I cried when I first saw our LO too!!

 

[ellie]

I think this is one of the times when it's a benefit to be an older Mum ... when we know there is something we feel strongly about, we're more confident in saying so, and really push our point of view and wishes across. I'd hate to be young and pregnant because I think a lot of times you'd just get railroaded into doing whatever the medical establishment want. Once you get older you realise that doctors aren't always right, even when they think they are, but if you're 19 for example, you might still have that blind faith.

I think we might have got to the point where we feel more comfortable in questionining it my parents generation and over, though, still have that total faith in 'they must know what they're doing' and 'I have to have this done / take this pill because the doctor said' - not sure if you've all found that too? my mum's had awful health problems for about the last 20 years and some disastrous operations and medical interventions (including a mini stroke caused by being given the wrong medication and was on way too many different things) yet still puts her total trust in the doctors. However she did recently turn down an operation for the first time ever, so maybe you get back to that point later in life! Maybe its something to do with our age group being able to research things more than before and being able to weigh up pros and cons of things for ourselves?

Golcar you were up early today its too bloody hot to sleep isnt it?

 

[Meerkat]

Hi ladies

Marley/Polaris - Love seeing your latest scan pics. Has anyone had a 4d scan? DH says he's not keen, thinks it's a bit 'freaky' seeing all the detail, but I'd be happy to. I haven't though, at the moment I'm happy with the scan pic I have. I still find it amazing that we can see inside like a window to the LO's nest.

Polaris - Sorry to hear your mw is being so forthright. And it's so out of order using scare tactics. I hope she's at least taken on board what you've said.

LDS - I'm the same I cried at my scan too. And to be honest just telling you about it makes me feel like crying! Strange times hey?

Ellie - You're right, it's good that we have access to information now so we can do our own research and make more informed choices. When I was ttc, I found the internet a godsend. I'd never heard of basal temps and opk's until then!! As a first time Mum I can't say if I'd be different if I was younger or not but in general I feel more inclined to speak up than I would have. To be honest, I've always asked a lot of questions anyway lol!

 

[avabear73]

Afternoon ladies

Another day ... another hospital stay LOL. Baby had a quiet day on Friday but I just thought it was having a restful day, but on Saturday it was virtually silent ... all I felt were little taps and not even that many of those By about half seven I was really beginning to worry and so I took my BP - it was through the roof so I phoned the hospital who said to go in and get checked out. Went in and they hooked me up to a monitor - baby's heartbeat was fine . Then they took my BP which had come down a good bit, but was still a little high. They checked my urine and it came back positive for protein, so they took bloods and we waited .... the doctor came round for night rounds and that's when it got scary ...

She started talking about the baby and that it was "mature" at 34 weeks ... but it would be coming early although "hopefully not tonight". I'd be staying in and they wanted to bring my growth scan forward from Friday 3rd to Monday. They were just waiting for the results of the blood tests to see more.

When the doctor left I looked round at hubby who looked HORRIFIED. I must admit I was a bit freaked out myself ... my BP was coming down by this point and my urine had been completely clear on Friday ... surely the baby wouldn't be coming in the next few days?!

Anyway at about 11pm I sent hubby home because the dog was waiting in the house. Not long after he left the midwife came through and said that my bloods were back, they looked clear but the doctor would need to double check them in the morning.

They checked my BP during the night and it was one of the best BPs I've actually had! Then in the morning, just before 7am they took it again, and again it was low, so really happy. The new urine sample came back completely clear so the doctor looked at the bloods etc and at about 10am said that if my BP was OK again they would let me go home. Thankfully it was a decent reading and I got home this morning with no more mention of bringing the baby out early - phew.

I know the baby will likely have to come early, but I was really hoping to last until about 36 weeks, so it was a bit scary! Still, it has definitely given me an incentive to finish up the hospital bag LOL.

 

[polaris]

Wow avabear, that sounds like a scary evening. Great news that your blood pressure came down again though. Really hope that you can go another few weeks, still at least, as the doctor says, if the baby does have to come now, it is old enough that everything should be fine. But I hope that your BP stays nice and low and you can make it to term or thereabouts.

 

[Marleysgirl]

Meerkat, we'd have loved to have a 4D scan, it's only our financial situation (we're brassic!) that's stopped us from doing so! But at least we're getting more U/S scans than normal (though not necessarily for good reasons).

 

[Meerkat]

Hi Ava

You poor thing, I hope everything stays nice and calm for you from now on. Will they want to monitor you more closely now?

 

[Meerkat]

Meerkat, we'd have loved to have a 4D scan, it's only our financial situation (we're brassic!) that's stopped us from doing so! But at least we're getting more U/S scans than normal (though not necessarily for good reasons).

I suppose one day they'll use the 4d scans in all hospitals and there'll be no need to pay to go private.

I was a bit miffed that I paid £8 for 2 scan pics and they were exactly the same! Not quite what I was expecting. Do they still charge you for your pics every time when you have to go for your extra scans?

 

[Truman]

Hi guys hope your all ok. Only been away a few days but got so much to catch up on

Avabear - glad your ok after your scare, why do you think the baby will come early (sorry if you have already explained).

On the subject of being induced I went over 2 weeks with my son so they had to induce me, not a nice experience because everything moves so fast I felt like we went from 0 to 60 in no time at all but he still took 7 hours to join the world. Thing is he wasnt going anywhere even though neither of us were confortable DS was stayingput, they broke my waters but still nothing. In the end I agreed to be induced and although we did have a few scary moments during the birth the team were brilliant. He was quite big baby 8lb13oz which considering I'd had a miserable pregnancy and weighed less at full term than I did at 5mths was a good weight (but that's another story) anyway I seem to recall he was 52cm (but not 100%) he did get stuck a few times and took an age to take his first breath. I think what I am trying to say is that I will have to see how it goes this time. Perhaps it will be third time lucky one thing I do know for sure is that I'm I am not having an epidural didn't like it one bit with DS and gas and air just isn't enough!!!

On another note, we told DS & DD tonight about the baby. It was my 40th birthday party yesterday and DD got suspicious because I wasn't drinking and when she left for work she asked DS to keep track of what I drank.... can't believe they were suspicious and checked up on me!! When we told them DD hugged OH and DS sat and smirked, after all the worrying I think they are ok with it!

 

[Marleysgirl]

I was a bit miffed that I paid £8 for 2 scan pics and they were exactly the same! Not quite what I was expecting. Do they still charge you for your pics every time when you have to go for your extra scans?

That's something I have yet to find out ...

I too was annoyed at my 12wk scan when they offered two photographs (£2 each) and the second was just a copy of the first. We opted for just the one photograph on the 20wk scan.

We got 3 scan photos (different shots) at the MAPs scan, but I had pre-requested those in return for participating in that particular research.

When the Placenta Clinic MW phones me this week to arrange my first official clinic visit, I'll ask her about more free photos

 

[Truman]

Marleysgirl how did you gety on the MAPS study??

 

[soon2b6]

Ava, that sounds like a pretty scary night, glad it came down and you were let home.
Truman, glad it went well telling your DS and DD, they obviously suspected something!!
We were ripped off by the scan scam, I paid £16 for what I thought would be 4 different pics and got 4 copies of the same pic, not a happy bunny!!
We had a day out today to my MIL village fete kinda thing, it was nice but I now have great fat ankles!! and when we came home the central heating had switched itself on with the hot water (so a fault) not what you need on a day like today really.

 

[avabear73]

Thanks ladies Meerkat - I see the MW every other day for a BP/Urine/Baby check up anyway. And I've got a triple whammy on Friday - growth (and position presumably) scan, consultant appointment and bp professor appointment. I'm wondering whether they will want to set a date for me to go in, depending on what the scan shows. If I could get to 37 weeks I'd be really happy (in fact I'd be happy with 36), but I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Truman - I'm not sure if I have already explained, think I probably haven't actually! I've got high BP (pre-existing) and they've managed to stabilise it and lower it a bit, but I think it's fairly common not to let pregnancies go to 40 or beyond when there is high BP (it's still high on medication). Plus baby is currently breech and showing no signs of moving round so I'm more expecting a section than anything. Hopefully will know more by the end of the week.

 

[avabear73]

Must be a regional thing with the photos (what isn't?! - seems everything is regional with pregnancy LOL). At our hospital there is just a little box on the wall asking for donations ... no one ever mentions it, they just print off photos for you and hand them to you. We got 4 at our 12 week scan, 6 at the 20 week and 2 at the growth scan two weeks ago. And they are all different! It's a bit rough charging you for identical copies of the same picture IMO.

 

[Marleysgirl]

Definitely sounds like it's up to the local PCT how many photos you get, and what you get charged. £4 each for identical photos is imho a complete rip-off. Were you told that you can't scan the photos to reproduce them yourself? I was ........ Whoops.

Marleysgirl how did you gety on the MAPS study??

The MAPs study is being carried out by three UK research hospitals (Manc, Leeds & Guys @ London) as part of the international SCOPE study. I gather that, normally, the research midwives haunt the waiting room when the 12wk scans are being carried out, and try to recruit that way. I apparently was the only person to notice their poster requesting volunteers and phone them on the enquiry line

I've ended up at the new Placenta Clinic a different way though, it's because of my Downs statistic, they're interested to see if my hormone levels are not Downs but are related to something else. Apparently Manchester is the first place in the UK to have such a clinic, due to some senior doctor having done a stint in Canada at a similar clinic. It means they're keeping an eye on the condition of my placenta & the blood flow to it.

 

[avabear73]

Were you told that you can't scan the photos to reproduce them yourself?

Not at all, there was a sign saying don't laminate, but that was because the heat turns the paper black. I think it's really off being charged £4 a pic. If it was £1 then I think that would be fair, covers the cost of paper and a little donation, but £4 is really a rip off.


On a totally unrelated note, and a bit silly but made me laugh ... I am on itunes making up a CD for the hospital. I read that if you get a section you often get to put a CD on (and I know you do in the labour ward) so I thought that I'd start putting one together. Anyway I was working on the C-section one and the first song I came across was "I knew I loved you" by Savage Garden, lovely I thought. Then the next one was "Can you feel it" by the Jacksons, I couldn't stop laughing, how much more appropriate for a section can you get?