'Older Mums' buddies thread!

[Meerkat]

I could have gone for a cold drink in the cafe or something, but the waiting was just driving me nuts!!!

Avabear, I had a similar experience a few weeks ago I went to give blood at the hospital and they kept me waiting for nearly an hour in a boiling hot waiting room with no windows. I was still suffering badly with ms at the time and how I didn't lose my dinner all over the floor I have no idea. I hate the smell of hospitals which didn't help!

 

[avabear73]

Wouldn't it have served them right if you did?! I'm kind of dreading being is hospital when the baby comes, the staff are fantastic but the wards are like ovens I can't sleep if it's hot and clammy ... yuck.

 

[golcarlilly]

Hi girls,

How is everyone? not had chance to catch up but now am on maternity leave I hope to get back into the swing of things!! Just back from a pedicure at a local spa and off to my first BF support group meeting soon - scary!!!!!

 

[janie0]

I'm heading out this morning for more bloodwork, this time the maternal serum screening (downs syndrome). I hate that my doctor does this test after 15 weeks. I didn't request the test but it's mandatory at my doc's office for all moms over 35. It's not like I would terminate because as of now, whatever will be will be!

 

[tillymum]

:wave: Hi ladies, I'm back after my holiday in the south of uk and had the best time with my DH, even if we did drive almost 1000 miles. Then came back and had my family over to visit for the week, so had 6 extra people in the house (including 3 kids aged 7, 5 and 2). Am totally wrecked now and feel like I need another holiday!! LOL! Though my mum and sister fussed over me for the week so wasn't too bad!

Hope you are all doing well and surviving the heat, i'm so glad things have cooled down now I feel like I can breathe again!

Gocarlilly - congrats on being on mat leave, I'm counting down the days - another 5 weeks for me though i'm thinking of reducing that to 3 wks if I can add my holiday allowance on before I go! Are you taking the full 9months off?

Getting really excited now as it's not long now!

 

[Meerkat]

Golcarlilly - Mmm a pedicure sounds lovely. I'm going to book in for some reflexology, I've always fancied it and had a voucher for my birthday to use at a local spa. Thanks, you've just reminded me to get on and book it!

janie0 - Good luck today. I didn't know they could enforce screening! Whatever happened to freedom of choice??

Tilly - Welcome back, glad you had a nice holiday in the sunny South.
You mentioned 9 months maternity leave - I thought we could take up to 12 months? I'm still learning though so tell me if that's wrong

 

[polaris]

Hi everyone.

Janie - welcome. good luck with the test today, I'm a bit shocked that your doctor says it is mandatory! Hopefully your results will be normal anyway, but you really should have choice about whether you want this information, especially because all they can give you from bloods is a risk statistic, not a definite answer.

Gol - congrats on being on maternity leave! I will be working right up until 2 weeks before due date, I'm due to start a new position (better salary) at the beginning of October, so I will just have time to get started before going on leave. Let us know how the BF support meeting goes.

Meerkat - I would love to hear your experiences of reflexology, it is something I have always really liked the sound of but have never got around to.

Tillymum - glad your holidays went well.

Hope everyone else is well

 

[tillymum]

Golcarlilly - Mmm a pedicure sounds lovely. I'm going to book in for some reflexology, I've always fancied it and had a voucher for my birthday to use at a local spa. Thanks, you've just reminded me to get on and book it!

janie0 - Good luck today. I didn't know they could enforce screening! Whatever happened to freedom of choice??

Tilly - Welcome back, glad you had a nice holiday in the sunny South.
You mentioned 9 months maternity leave - I thought we could take up to 12 months? I'm still learning though so tell me if that's wrong

Thanks Meerkat - 9 months paid and the additional 3 months unpaid - i think! I'm such a dits I thought it was only 6 months paid and the additional 3 unpaid, so I told my work I was only taking 6 months mat leave which they are all prepared for now I am going back telling them I am going to take 9 months which they are not too happy about - but hey what do I care they've already cut my pay by 30% this yr and no guarantees there will be a job for me when I go back!

 

[golcarlilly]

I am having 9 months off, maybe longer if we can afford (unlikely though!) BF group was ok, I have registered now so can just turn up for advice/help when lo is born when I feel ready, some of the mums just go to socialise too so can do that as well, there were a couple of dads there with their partners which I thought was nice.

Tillymum, glad you had a good holiday, hope your mat leave comes quickly!!

Polaris what job do you do?

 

[Meerkat]

Thanks Meerkat - 9 months paid and the additional 3 months unpaid - i think! I'm such a dits I thought it was only 6 months paid and the additional 3 unpaid, so I told my work I was only taking 6 months mat leave which they are all prepared for now I am going back telling them I am going to take 9 months which they are not too happy about - but hey what do I care they've already cut my pay by 30% this yr and no guarantees there will be a job for me when I go back!

Don't blame you Tillymum I'd do the same. I'm thinking of 9 months off but if I can squeeze in a cheap month I might take 10. I want to spend as much of the summer at home as possible!

Polaris - I'll keep you posted on the reflexology.

I've been wondering about antenatal classes.. Is it true that the once a week groups don't exist anymore? My sister made loads of friends through hers a few years ago. But my SIL who had her baby recently said that she only had 2 meetings about a month before the birth! Is that normal? What about the NCT? What are you ladies doing if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Marleysgirl]

I've been wondering about antenatal classes.. Is it true that the once a week groups don't exist anymore? My sister made loads of friends through hers a few years ago. But my SIL who had her baby recently said that she only had 2 meetings about a month before the birth! Is that normal? What about the NCT? What are you ladies doing if you don't mind me asking?

I looked at NCT but they didn't appear to be very active in this area and, even though they discount prices for those struggling, I still couldn't justify the cost. They don't seem to hold any second-hand sales either, which is annoying.

My NHS Antenatals are in the last six weeks of pregnancy, and consist of three classes, a visit to the hospital, and a specific breastfeeding meeting - at weekly intervals.

I have (by myself, as always, useless midwives) found out that our local SureStart group runs a Monday morning session called "BumpStart". I really must get around to phoning the number and finding out what they actually do - if it's a group of women sitting around whining about swollen feet, then I'm not bothered; but if they cover anything interesting or useful, then I might go along.

I'm not a big "joiner" of groups anyway, so the lack of apparent Mums-to-be clubs doesn't really bother me.

 

[Meerkat]

Thanks Marleysgirl, I know what you mean I'm not particularly one to join groups either but apart from my SIL most of my friends had their children years ago!! The whole mother/baby thing still seems an age away to me at the moment anyway.

I'm not sure what the benefits are to going to the NCT classes instead of the NHS classes, other than class size. My midwife downloaded a load of info at me the first time I saw her (which I can't remember now) but nothing much since then. I have so many questions! Like where to get hold of these forms that we need MATB1 and the one for claiming the Health in Pregnancy Grant. My modwife is lovely but just not great at giving me the information I need!

 

[avabear73]

Well I can answer those questions for you

MATB1 (25 weeks ish) and HIP forms (I think about 28 weeks but can't remember exactly) will be given to you by your midwife directly

But that's the extent of my maternity/pregnancy knowledge, so maybe better get to those classes after all

 

[Meerkat]

Well I can answer those questions for you

MATB1 (25 weeks ish) and HIP forms (I think about 28 weeks but can't remember exactly) will be given to you by your midwife directly

But that's the extent of my maternity/pregnancy knowledge, so maybe better get to those classes after all

Thanks Avabear that's fab. BTW, did you know that before the mw gave them to you? I'm normally quite clued up but feel like I've entered a new world where you need all this stuff but don't have any knowledge about any of it! Slowly going mad..

 

[avabear73]

I know what you mean, a couple of months before I fell pregnant, we went into Mothercare to buy a birthday present, and we just felt like we had no business being in there, not a clue what was going on LOL.

I only knew about the MATB1 form because it was mentioned in my work's maternity policy! I feel like Manuel from Fawlty Towers "I know nothing"

 

[soon2b6]

Hi all, I havent "caught up" really just been busy with school end of year stuff, bonkers, Ive got to make my son a costume for his school play, he is in "the pied piper" (now dont laugh at this next bit) as a rat. He is very proud of himself and I have to make him a rat costume
Dont worry about not knowing that kind of stuff (matb1,HIP forms etc) I dont think anyone does first time around but it all comes right in the end.
I have joined a BF group Gol, it is really strange cause no one talks about BF??? not sure if I will continue to go, we'll see.

 

[Marleysgirl]

Just to say, my midwife didn't volunteer me the MATB1 form, I had to ask for it. She seemed a little "oh yes, I guess you are entitled to that now" (21 weeks onwards). I'm not holding my breath for the HiPG form, I think I'll download one and take it with me that week for her to sign!

 

[Meerkat]

Just to say, my midwife didn't volunteer me the MATB1 form, I had to ask for it. She seemed a little "oh yes, I guess you are entitled to that now" (21 weeks onwards). I'm not holding my breath for the HiPG form, I think I'll download one and take it with me that week for her to sign!

Good plan! I think I might do the same.

Soon2b6 - I'm impressed you even know how to make a rat costume. Is this something Mum's just learn???, I'm sure I wouldn't know where to start!

 

[Marleysgirl]

Ach, sorry Meerkat - it turns out that you cannot get your hands on the HiPG form, you have to get them from M/W or Doctor after you hit 25 weeks. If they don't have one, you phone a special number (this is all from direct.gov website) and they send one to your M/W for your next visit!

I've actually got an appointment this afternoon (I'm 23+1) with the new clinic, and I'm going to ask them if they have the HiPG forms then. That gives me time to phone up and get them sent the forms if they don't have them You might want to do the same at the visit well before you hit 25 weeks.

 

[avabear73]

Just make sure you don't send the form off early - I read posts here that girls had problems if the govt received the form before 25 weeks (even if it was just a day early). Gotta love bureaucracy ....

On the plus side, once I sent it away I got the money really fast, within 3 weeks