'Older Mums' buddies thread!

[golcarlilly]

Yaay congrats MarleysGirl

 

[ellie]

yay marleysgirl that is FAB!

fuzzy67 hope your ttc journey is short and you can join us here soon

golcarlilly i think you deserve a lovely relaxing weekend after all that! i am officially a lazy git at the moment!

met my midwife yesterday, she was lovely, so all underway that end. Gulp. It feels like a really wierd 'limbo' at the moment, sort of getting used to feeling tired and nauseous and having sore nips and all that, past doing all the pregnancy tests, but before the 'official' 12 week stuff and before getting any kind of bump ... for those of you in 2nd tri, when did it feel more real for you?

also have to decide whether to have the down's blood test done or not ... pretty much decided i don't want an amniocentesis, so is there any point in having the blood test? has anyone else had it done / considering it?

 

[golcarlilly]

I think I am still trying to come to terms with it all really!! I sometimes suddenly think OMG I am having a baby

We decided against any tests cos I knew if they did find a problem (unless it was really serious) I could never have a termination so there didn't seem much point really. It is a very hard decision to make though and a very personal one - good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[avabear73]

Ellie - it didn't feel real to me until I had the first scan. Just seeing the picture suddenly made me think, hey, hang on, I'm having a BABY!!

I agree with gocarlilly, it's very much a personal choice. I tend to go with the flow without thinking about it, so it never occured to me not to have the tests. I think as well I wanted to know, not that I would ever have terminated, but just so I could at least be mentally prepared. In the end my Downs results were great, for my age it should have been 1 in 350, and I was 1 in 486. I was really amazed also because I'm on medication for epilepsy so if anything would have expected worse than normal results, not better.

It's one of these things that only you can decide - lots of reasons both ways - but don't feel you HAVE to have the tests ... entirely up to you Oh also I declined the hiv and hep tests ... just didn't feel they were necessary since hubby and I have been together for nearly 17 years, and both of us only had 1 other partner before we met

 

[ellie]

good news avabear, we still need to discuss it more but oh of the opinion that the least intervention the better ...
my midwife went on for ages about the hiv/syphillis/hep tests, I told her that I'd had thorough screening and hep b jabs for my job quite recently, and me and Oh have been together for 7 years and no chance of any infections, i didn't feel there was a need but she said I didn't have a choice in that and that they have to do it? maybe it's dfiferent in different areas ....

it felt real when we had the scan a week ago but that wore off after about 3 days and now it feels imaginary again!

 

[polaris]

I know exactly what you mean about being in limbo and not feeling real. I don't think it will feel real till the scan and getting a bump etc.
I'm not planning to get blood tests for Down's because I wouldn't get the amniocentesis so I feel like it could be just extra worry for nothing. As you still don't get a definite answer, just a probability. So if it was higher than expected, I would be worrying for the rest of the pregnancy and baby might still be fine.

 

[Marleysgirl]

I've decided to go ahead with the screening to ascertain a more accurate Downs possibility (baseline for my age is 1:96), but that is (as someone else mentioned) so that I can be a little more mentally prepared if I know the likelihood - I've already decided that I don't want to risk the Amnio. It wouldn't change my mind about the baby, but I like to be more forewarned, if that makes sense.

 

[polaris]

I've decided to go ahead with the screening to ascertain a more accurate Downs possibility (baseline for my age is 1:96), but that is (as someone else mentioned) so that I can be a little more mentally prepared if I know the likelihood - I've already decided that I don't want to risk the Amnio. It wouldn't change my mind about the baby, but I like to be more forewarned, if that makes sense.

That makes perfect sense, I think it's a very individual decision that you have to do what is right for you. My choices are different but that's just me, I generally would prefer not to think about things until they happen cos I just worry too much and then they're not as bad as you expect anyway. I also have worked with children with Downs and know that it wouldn't be the end of the world, so that probably plays a part for me as well.
Good luck with the screening, let us know how you get on.

 

[avabear73]

Ellie - I would have thought that as the patient you can refuse any treatment or test but maybe it's some kind of health and safety thing, who knows? I was asked about it at least twice, but they did respect my decision, although one did warn me that I'd probably be asked again LOL.

As for feeling real, once you start to get a little bump it helps. Although the most real thing is when you start feeling things (that REALLY brings it home!). Hearing the heartbeat as well. TBH there are still days I can't believe I'm actually having a baby. Me, a parent. What's the world coming to?! LOL!

Marleysgirl - I totally understand. Maybe it's because I'm a planner-type but I need to know things, I deal much better with what I know. It's funny that for some people, to know makes them worry and for others it's not knowing that makes them worry!

Polaris - I remember when we were in P7, we shared some PE classes with some kids from a nearby school for children with various disabilities - some of them had Down's and all I remember was how sweet they were. Just so innocent and always smiling.

 

[avabear73]

How is everyone? Been quite quiet here this week, hope everyone is well

 

[polaris]

Hi Avabear. Hope you are well.

I'm not too bad, still working away on my thesis, not too much longer to go which I will be really glad when it's over, but panicky at the same time because I still have so much work left to do!! It's hard trying to work through the exhaustion of early pregnancy too.

Apart from that, I was round in OH's sister-in-law's last night, it was her 40th birthday. She got really emotional about the fact that me and OH will be having a baby in November and that the baby will be so close in age to her twins (born in March). It was a nice evening but I felt a bit uncomfortable because everyone was getting so excited about the pregnancy - I really hope that everything goes smoothly at the scan on Wednesday. It would be so horrible to have to tell everyone that something was wrong. There was some people there who didn't know about the pregnancy and I didn't really want them to know but the cat is out of the bag now. So please please please let everything be OK.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

 

[avabear73]

I know what you mean ... we told my Mum on Christmas Day when I was 7 weeks (because I was really tired and hardly eating because of the nausea) and until I had the scan I felt the pressure of her excitement ... was just constantly worried that something would happen and we'd have to tell her the bad news. There were a couple of days when my symptoms disappeared and I was freaking out ... but on the upside, when we had the scan and everything was fine, we got to tell her that ... and then tell everyone else too

Not long till your scan now .. how do you feel? Excited/Nervous?

 

[polaris]

I know what you mean ... we told my Mum on Christmas Day when I was 7 weeks (because I was really tired and hardly eating because of the nausea) and until I had the scan I felt the pressure of her excitement ... was just constantly worried that something would happen and we'd have to tell her the bad news. There were a couple of days when my symptoms disappeared and I was freaking out ... but on the upside, when we had the scan and everything was fine, we got to tell her that ... and then tell everyone else too

Not long till your scan now .. how do you feel? Excited/Nervous?

Yes, that's exactly the way I feel. But hopefully everything will work out well for me as it did for you. I am very excited about the scan but nervous too. I would say I will be extremely nervous on the day itself. But the relief if everything is OK will be fantastic.

 

[golcarlilly]

I know what you mean ... we told my Mum on Christmas Day when I was 7 weeks (because I was really tired and hardly eating because of the nausea) and until I had the scan I felt the pressure of her excitement ... was just constantly worried that something would happen and we'd have to tell her the bad news. There were a couple of days when my symptoms disappeared and I was freaking out ... but on the upside, when we had the scan and everything was fine, we got to tell her that ... and then tell everyone else too

Same here Ava, we told both sets of parent on Christmas day and were so nervous about it following my m/c in April!

HOpe everyone is ok today? My bump is starting to feel huge now! posted a pic on Second Tri bumps this morning!

 

[Marleysgirl]

Moved into the Tri-2 forum this morning (as Golcarlilly knows, she's already found me there)

So I guess this pregnancy is real, and not just wishful thinking and imagination! Still over a week until I see my midwife though ....

Ooooh, I know what I was gonna share. I've volunteered to participate in some research (part of the Scope Study) which looks into pre-eclampsia, underweight babies & preemies. Means I'm having a few more blood tests, a lot more questionnaires, and an additional scan. No skin off my nose, I'm not trying to hold down a job so I've got time for the extra appointments, and any additional checks they can carry out are welcomed, given my age.

The purpose of this study is to produce effective screening tests to identify those women who may go on to develop complications in their pregnancy, long before the problem arises.

 

[golcarlilly]

Hi Marleysgirl, sorry for my dumb post, misread your post and was thinking you were moving to 3rd - durr!! Have changed it to welcome you to second!!

Study sounds interesting, although I would hate the extra blood tests!!

I have posted a couple of pics on second tri bumps over the last couple of days, i can't believe how my much my bump has grown lately!!

Hope everyone is well today?

 

[polaris]

Marleysgirl - congrats on the move to 2nd Tri! Not too much longer before i'll be joining you, I hope!!

 

[avabear73]

Marleysgirl - congrats! 2nd tri goes by so fast ... so much faster than 1st! And the extra screening sounds good.

Gocarlilly - funny about the bump, they have little growth spurts eh? I'm a sudden sprouter too.

Polaris - good luck for tomorrow, hope you can sleep tonight, it's very exciting!


My news .. I had the MW today and everything is great .. the heartbeat was fast and strong (the midwife said "it seems really happy in there!"). She measured me and I'm measuring 26 weeks even though I'm just past 25 which is fantastic. I asked her if the baby was the right way up because my kicks are still way below the belly button, she had a feel and said "you have a bum here" (touching the upper right part of my bump) and "a head here" (touching my belly), so it turns out that the baby isn't kicking me, it's punching and/or poking me

 

[polaris]

I hope I can sleep tonight too - I'm excited but very nervous too. I have a feeling I might have mad dreams tonight.

Good news on the midwife appt, avabear, sounds like everything is going extremely well!

Hope everyone else is well.

 

[golcarlilly]

How did it go Marleysgirl?